


Together we will make it through !

by AlexSpencerFan



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Angst, Crime, F/M, Family, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-11
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2018-03-01 01:40:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 96,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2754848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexSpencerFan/pseuds/AlexSpencerFan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life writes it's own storys, Alex Blake had to learn this the hard way. In one blink of an eye everything can change for good or bad, she finds love and friendship in a place and world she last expected. But in the next moment life can shatter. Alex Blake/Spencer Reid, Alex has two Kids Kathrin (Kat) 15 and Ethan 6</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prolog

January 1997

Alex was very nervous; she could hear the door open and knew that James was home. She had to tell him! It was a classic now or never situation, but she still had no idea how exactly she could do it, maybe she just needed to throw him into the cold water.

"Hello Love," said James happily as he walked into the kitchen and opened the shirt of his policeman uniform, he gave her a quick peck on her lips and Alex smiled, but it was faked and he knew immediately that something bothered her. "Hey…what's wrong?" he asked, a little worried.

Alex opened her mouth but the words just wouldn't come out, so she closed her mouth and smiled again. "Nothing," was all she said, but now he got serious.

"Alex!" he said firmly, "What's wrong?"

Alex slightly chewed on her bottom lip. She still didn't know how to say it. "James I-…" but she stopped, so he took her face in his hands and looked her deep into her eyes.

"Alex Blake, I did not marry you so you could have secrets from me, especially when they upset you! Whatever it is, you can talk to me about it, honey!"

Before she could think about it, the words already left her mouth. "I'm pregnant." James just continued to stare at her and tears started to form in her eyes. "I-I know you don't want to have Children…" When James finally came out of his shock and saw that she nearly cried, he quickly took her hand.

Part of Alex thought he would say something like: "Don't be silly, we always used protection," or "You just ate too much." But he said something she didn't expect:

"Why are you crying? It's okay!" he said and smiled at her.

Alex frowned. "I thought you didn't want to have kids?"

"Yeah I know I said that, I'll admit I'm not thrilled, with the house and everything, more money would help, but if you're pregnant, then we'll manage that alright, everything is going to be okay!" He took her face in his hands and kissed her.

* * *

September 26 1997

"Ow… Aahh! Oh my god get it out!" screamed Alex after 16 hours of labor, in which she started to push half an hour ago.

She was out of breath and wisps of her hair were stuck to her sweat-covered forehead. James stood by her side the whole time and didn't even wince as it seemed like Alex wanted to break his hand with her grip, he just kept telling her how great she did.

"I can see the head, Mrs. Blake! Just keep breathing, it's almost done!" said the doctor.

James smiled. "It's almost over, honey, I'm so proud, you can do it Alex!"

"I'm not so sure 'bout that…" panted Alex, who was exhausted.

"Of course you can! I know it!" James bent over to kiss her cheek.

"You're doing perfect, honey."

"Ready, Mrs. Blake?"

Alex just nodded. She couldn't find the breath for more words.

"Okay…one, two, three, push!...yeah just like that! Don't stop! Yes! One more time, take another deep breath," said the doctor and smiled at her.

"Last one okay?...now push! That's great, only-" But the two couldn't hear more, as the words were drowned by the most beautiful cry two people could hear, echoed through the room.

"There she is. Congratulations, it's a beautiful baby girl!"

They barely made out the words as they had only eyes for their little wonder that was placed in Alex's arms.

"She's perfect," muttered Alex hoarse and amazed by her daughter, while James counted the tiny fingers and toes.

"Everything is in place and she's beautiful, just like her mommy." James grinned with tears in his eyes and kissed Alex.

"Now Daddy will come with me and the little one, so we can see how much she weights and everything okay?" said one of the nurses and gently took her from Alex's arms and after he gave his wife another kiss, James followed her out of the room, while the Doctor took care of Alex and the afterbirth.

After he cleaned his daughter with a little help by the nurse, she was measured and weighed, their little angel was one foot and seven inches tall and weight 8 lbs. 4 oz.

"So, any name suggestions?" asked the nurse as James held his daughter for the first time.

"Kathrin Marie."

"That's a real nice name!" said the woman and wrote it down on the birth certificate. "You can go to your wife now." James didn't need to be told twice.

"I hope you didn't mess up her name." Alex said as James laid their daughter carefully into her arms before he sat down beside her on the bed, so they're both could watch their baby girl.

"What do you think about Kathrin Marie?"

"Yes, that's perfect for her."

* * *

June. 14 2001

Erin Strauss. Alex wouldn't forget this name any time soon, because this woman had just destroyed her Carrier within the FBI when she said that it had been all her fault when they arrested the wrong person. Now Alex and some colleagues had been degraded. She had worked so hard after her maternity leave and for what? Only to be nearly fired because of a woman, who was too much of a coward to take the fall herself, even if she screwed up like the rest of them.

Anger rose in her as she thought about that bitch and tears of pure frustration and rage rolled down her cheeks as she drove home. She had never been good with that woman, but she respected her and never thought she would do such a thing only to save her own ass.

As Alex pulled into their street she couldn't believe what she saw. There, at her house, was a crowd of reporters and cameramen. She quickly wiped the tears off her cheek before getting out of the car.

"Agent Blake, do you have something to say about the accusation against you?"

"Is it true that you're responsible that the wrong person was arrested?"

From then on Alex couldn't make out anything anymore as everyone talked at the same time and they surrounded her.

"Mommy!" Alex turned around and saw how Kathrin ran up to her bare foot and in a pretty dress and, except some reporters, everyone became quiet. Alex pushed the men and women who were in between her and her daughter out of her way, embraced Kathrin tight and quickly walked inside the house, while her little sunshine laughed. She didn't understand what was going on and probably also didn't care.

"Daddy and I have a surprise Mommy!" Kathrin said really excited.

"Really? Where?" asked Alex as she gave her a kiss and then let her slide off her waist.

"In the Garden!" the little girl than grasped her mother's hand and pulled her to the backdoor. Before Alex could open the door Kathrin stopped her. "Don't look!"

Alex then opened the door and closed her eyes. "Alright. They're closed."

She was then led through the Garden by a constantly giggling Kathrin. "Surprise!" said Kathrin and Alex opened her eyes. As soon as she saw the surprise she had to laugh, there in a hammock laid James, topless and on a little table beside the hammock were three glasses with orange juice. "You like it, Mommy?"

Alex smiled brightly at her daughter. "I absolutely love it! Thank you so much!" She bent down and gave her a big kiss.

"You know I was doing all the work." James mumbled as she got into the hammock beside him and he took Kathrin in his arms before he sat her in between them.

"You're going to get your reward later." Alex whispered before she kissed him, he then noticed that something was not right.

"Hey, are you okay?" Alex hesitated.

"Nothing … I'll tell you later," with that, she gently pulled her daughter closer to her, kissed her cheek before tickling her slightly and she than ran her fingers through the blond hair she inherited from James. Alex didn't want to talk about it, not even think about it, right now, in this moment, only her family counted, her daughter who she loved more than anything else and for whom she has had so little time lately.

* * *

June 18. 2001

,,Want to go to bed?" asked James while they laid cuddled together on the couch and Alex had yawned for the fourth time.

"Yeah, I'm tired" he switched the TV off and they both got up.

"I'm going to check up on Kathrin okay " Alex made it up the stairs and slowly opened the door and peered in, a voice in the back of her head told her that something was not right. It was dark, but thanks to the full moon outside, she could see that the window was open and that the bed of her daughter looked empty! Alex switched on the light, her eyes widened and her blood ran cold, her daughter was gone!

"James! JAMES! Kathrin is gone!" Alex screamed and she could hear something break downstairs before fast paces came up the stairs.

"What?"

"She's gone! Oh my God she's gone my baby is gone!" Alex panicked and pulled the empty covers away and then ran to the window. The ladder was still standing there but something else made the panic in her rise, blood. There was blood on the windowsill.

* * *

It's been already two days since their little daughter had been kidnapped right out of her bed in the middle of the night. Two days full of worry, panic and fear for their daughter and slowly the people working on the Case started to lose hope to find Kathrin alive, or at all.

They had received a video of the capture, showing them Kathrin in a dark basement, and chained to a wall, crying for her parents to come and save her. The captor told them, that Erin Strauss was responsible for the abduction of Kathrin and it had taken James and another Officer to keep Alex from beating the crap out of Strauss. But that wouldn't help them finding her, though Alex thought she would feel a lot better hurting that woman.

"Alex...let's go home." James said, as they had spent the last days on the local police station, without sleep or actual food, trying to find their baby girl.

"I'm not going anywhere until we find Kathrin!"

"Alex, honey listen, we can't do anything here...why don't we go home get some sleep and come back tomorrow." James said though he didn't plan to return to the Police Station again and laid his hand on her shoulder, but Alex shook it off.

"No. I won't leave!" Alex argued back.

"We can't do anything Alex, nothing!" he said louder and some of the Officers started to watch and listen to their argument.

"What? Do you want to give up? Our daughter is somewhere out there and-"

"Dead! You don't get it do you? She is dead Alex! She is dead! It's been two days, we both know the chance of finding her alive is zero!" he yelled. Alex stared at him shock and new tears rolled down her face.

"How can you say that? H-how can you say that she is dead? How can you give up? She's our daughter." Alex said shocked.

"Alex-"

"She's our daughter!" Alex screamed and he tried to take her hand but she flinched back.

"No! Don't touch me, don't you dare to touch me." she said and fled the room crying.

* * *

Alex didn't wait until the Officer parked the car in front of the house where the other police cars were standing, Alex immediately unbuckled herself and got out of the car, while he still parked the car.

The moment she was ten feet away from the car, another Officer walked out of the house with Kathrin in her arms. "Mommy! Daddy!" Kathrin cried and floundered like hell and reached out for her mother with her little arms.

"Kathrin!" Alex sunk to her knees when she was finally able to hold her little Kathrin in her arms again, who clung tightly to her. Two seconds later they were both in James arms, who wasn't any less relief to have his daughter back as his wife, but who was also feeling miserable for giving up hope to find her alive. When the corpse of the man who did all this was carried away, the two didn't look up, it didn't matter, he was dead and Kathrin was back with them again.

* * *

March 2003

"Honey?" asked Alex as she opened the door to Kathrin's bedroom and saw that Kathrin laid flat on her stomach on her bed with her face buried in her pillow. She stepped in and closed the door.

"Kat? Sweetheart?" she said before she made it over to the bed and sat down beside her daughter and stroked over her back in smooth circles.

"Hy we aveo go?" said Kathrin with her face still in the pillow, so Alex couldn't understand a word.

"What? Kat darling, I can't understand what you're saying when you mumble in your pillow like that" Alex answered and then Kat turned her head, her eyes and nose were red from crying and the tears were still flowing.

"Why do we have to go?" and then sat up beside her mother. Some Days ago Alex had received a teaching offer at George Town University as a Professor for Forensic Linguistics and after discussing it she and James agreed that she would take the offer. But this meant that they had to move, to Alexandria Virginia at the other side of North America to be specific.

"Because I have a new job there, I'm sorry Kat, but there is no other way" Alex then took her into her arms and kissed her temple while Kat snuggled closer to her.

"But then I can't see Ellen anymore!" just when Kat had found a real friend they were moving, it broke Alex's heart, just like her, Kathrin was an intelligent Child, which made her not very popular around Kids her age or Classmates, even though she was not a know it all, most of the time she tried to hide it.

"I don't want to go." Kat pouted, Alex pulled her even closer and gave her a long kiss on her cheek.

"I'm sorry Honey, but you know what? When we move to Alexandria, I'm sure you're going to find many great friends, 'cause nobody knows you there and you can make a fresh start, and be who you are Kat!".

"I still don't want to move!".

* * *

November 2006

They settled in in Alexandria really fine, they had a beautiful house and her new job was great, they had nice friends and most important to them, Kat also found some friends, who liked her without her pretending to be someone she wasn't and without the mobbing.

But somethings weren't as wonderful as they could, or should be. Their marriage was crumbling, James was working so much that they didn't see him for days. When he was home, he wouldn't talk much to her and Alex didn't know what to do anymore. She tried to be the perfect housewife, even though that was what she never wanted to be.

James was like a new person, at least he wasn't the caring and loving man she had fallen in love with anymore. But what was even worse for Alex, he started to push Kat away, he wouldn't play much with her, forgot school plays or performances of her music class and got angrier when she did something wrong.

Of course Alex asked him what was wrong but he refused to give her any answer or even a conversation for that matter. Slowly Alex found herself growing more and more apart from James. But one day things took for a worse, Alex found out she was pregnant again, she was beyond happy and hoped that maybe this would bring them back closer together, even though a small voice told her that this was wish thinking and that James wouldn't be happy.

So this evening Alex wanted to tell James that soon they would be parents of two. After Alex had tucked Kat in, she waited for James to come home. When he finally came home one and a half hours after his shift had ended, Alex had given her best to keep the dinner she had cooked warm, but James ignored it completely as he got himself a beer.

"Don't you want to eat something?" Alex asked him, but he only shook his head.

"No, I just ate something at the station."

"But it's-"

"I don't want to eat right now Alex." she closed her mouth and nodded.

"Kat asked if you could tuck her in tomorrow, she misses the stories you used to tell her." James sighted and took a long sip of his beer.

"Isn't she a little too old for them now?"

"James she is nine and certainly not too old for a bedtime story from her Dad, who she barely sees anymore."

"Is it my problem that I have to work so much? Don't you think I would rather be home than out there?" he spat angrily at her.

"No but-"

"But what? Yeah maybe I don't want to spend my little free time telling silly little stories or sitting in the audience of a damn fourth grade music performance!"

"But she is your daughter! Doesn't she deserve some attention from her own father?" Alex asked shocked that he would say something like that about his now not only child.

"Why is that so important for you?"

"Because I am pregnant again!" his annoyed and slight angry features disappeared and were replaced by a blank face. Alex herself was a bit shocked that she had told him like that.

"Are you sure?" he asked and still neither is face or voice gave away how he was feeling about this.

"Yes."

"And what do you want to do about it?" she blinked at him confused.

"What do you-" she stopped mid sentence and hoped that he wasn't implying what she thought he was. "You...can't be talking about an abortion? Please tell me that is not true."

"Alex...I know how it sounds, but...we already have Kat and-" he said, his voice calm as if he was talking about the weather and not about getting rid of their baby!

"No. Not in one million years! I will not kill my baby James, our baby!" Alex interrupted him and now it was her who was angry and slightly disgusted.

"Well seems like you already made your mind." he said, stood up and left her standing in the kitchen where she seconds later heard how the front door closed. For Alex it also felt like he had closed the door to their marriage, she laid a hand on the small bump on her abdomen.

 _I love you no matter what, you are my baby_.

* * *

July 3 2007

Alex lifted the heavy groceries bag out of the car and was about to walk to the front door when the bag broke causing all the groceries to fall to the ground. "Damn" Alex cursed and crouched down to pick them up, which was rather difficult with her round stomach.

Suddenly there was a hand helping her up and when Alex looked at the person, shielding her eyes from the sun, she saw her neighbor Andy who was James' best friend, the husband of her own best friend Christina and the father of Josephine or Joe as everyone called her who happened to be Kat's best friend.

"Come on I'll pick the rest up for you." he said and Alex smiled.

"Thanks Andy." she answered and waited with the groceries in her arms which she had already picked up.

"Sure no problem, hows the little peanut doing today?"

"Wonderful he decided to finally settle down after he jumped around in there the whole day." Alex answered still smiling and let a hand trace over the left side of her belly, where her son was currently laying. "How are the twins?"

"Still a handful, but we finally found a sleeping pattern that fits all of us, but they are still amazing and Joe loves them too, it's just great you know?" Andy asked and Alex hesitated to answer. No she didn't know what it was like because her own husband was less than thrilled about having a second baby, he didn't even care that they were having a son.

While he had been to as many ultrasound appointments as possible with her when she was pregnant with Kat, he never had been to one once this time. She wasn't even sure if he had looked at one of the ultrasound pictures Alex had brought home. Kat was even happier and more interested in the baby than James. Alex swallowed down her sadness and put a smile on her face.

"Yes, I know I'm so happy and I can't wait for him to be here." she said and unlocked the front door, Alex didn't see how Andy watched her and noticed that she wasn't telling the truth. "Do you know when James will be home?" she asked now it was him hiding the truth.

"No sorry, I guess around eight." he lied, he knew that he wouldn't be home by then, James was done working but he wouldn't come home, he most likely would go in a bar.

"Oh...okay, thanks again Andy." Alex said knowing that Andy was lying and that James wouldn't come home tonight.

* * *

Around six thirty that evening when she was making dinner, Alex grimaced and rubbed her lower back. Since a while she had an intense back pain which seemed to spread out to her abdomen, as she was beginning to feel a dull pain there too.

"...then it was Mary's turn but she lied and said that she was afraid of heights and started to make a scene and nearly cry! But Joe had to climb the rope though she is really afraid of heights!" Kat told her about her gym class, while she was doing her homework at the kitchen isle.

"You're right that wasn't very fair." Alex answered closed her eyes and took a deep breath, the pain was getting worse and it didn't feel like the normal back pain she would have in this stage of pregnancy.

"Momma are you okay?" Kat asked when she saw the pained expression on her mothers face, also noticing the thin layer of sweat glistening on her forehead.

"Yeah Honey I'm fine you-" but then such an intense pain throbbed through her body outgoing from her belly, that she yelled out in pain and doubled over. Alex tried to get a hold of something, but only got the handle of the frying pan, which fell to the floor seconds later.

"Mama!" Kat jumped up and ran around the kitchen isle to her mother, who had bend over and was panting heavily because of the pain, which made it hard to breath. But when Kat stood in front of her mother she stopped and just stared at her horrified.

Only then Alex realized that her sweat pants were wet, not with amniotic fluid but with blood. Fear pulsated through her body and she sunk to her knees, what was wrong? What was wrong with her baby? Or her? She couldn't loose her baby son!

"Mommy-!"

"Kat! Run over to Christina's and get help, hurry!" Alex said before her daughter could say one more word. For a moment Kat didn't move, but then she turned around and ran out of the room like the devil was on her heels.

Kat ran over the street shouting for her best friend parents, in her panic she didn't even rang the door bell, she just pounded on the door crying for help. When the door was pulled open by a confused looking Andy, Kat grabbed his hand and tried to pull him out of the door.

"Jesus Kat! What is going on?" Andy asked.

"We need help! Mama is in pain and bleeding, please you have to help her!" Kat cried and immediately Andy was in cop mode, he turned around were he could see his wife walking towards them, about to ask what was wrong, but he was faster and shoved Kat into Christina's arms.

"Call the ambulance! Something is wrong with Alex, Kat says she is bleeding and in pain!" he called out to her and then sprinted towards his friends house, through the open door and inside.

"Alex?" he called out.

"Kitchen!" came the painful answer and he ran into the kitchen were he stopped for a second as he too was shocked at what he saw. Alex sat on the floor in a small puddle of blood leaning back against the kitchen counter.

"Christina called the ambulance, help is on they way, what happened?" Andy asked as he kneeled next to his friend.

"I...don't know, I had a stronger back and abdomen pain all day...then it got worse and-and I was bleeding...oh god please I don't wanna lose my son." Alex cried and he took her hand.

"You won't lose him Alex, you hear?" he said, but then her sight already began to blur. The last thing she heard was Andy calling out her name but she already couldn't respond and then everything was black.

* * *

When Alex woke up again, it took her a moment to realize where she was, inside a hospital room. It also took her a moment to remember what had happened, and the last thing she could remember was seeing her blood soaked pants. Her baby! What had happened to her son? Was he okay? Was he even alive?

She looked around and saw a figure standing in front of a window so she could just make out the silhouette of the person standing there, but she guessed it was a man.

"James?" she asked hoarse the figure turned around and walked closer. Her heart sunk when she recognized Andy.

"No it's me, good to see you awake Alex." he said and smiled.

"Where is my son? Is he okay? Is...is he?" Andy shook his head and walked a few feet away and when he turned around he held a small bundle in his arms.

"No he is a healthy little baby boy." he said and then Alex held her son for the first time, her beautiful little son. He was fast asleep and looked so peaceful, with his pink lips, little button nose and he had a lot of dark hair. Alex didn't even try to hold back the tears that ran down her cheeks.

"What happened?" she asked and Andy's smiled vanished.

"You had a placental abruption, they had to do an emergency c-section to get him in time, but everything went fine and both of you are okay." he said.

"Where are James and Kat?" she asked and stroked over her sons cheek.

"Kat is outside with Christina. James was here but..." Alex found herself not surprised that her husband wasn't here, though she was deeply hurt and disappointed.

"Did he hold him?" Andy hesitated to answer and Alex looked him in the eyes.

"Andy?"

"No." Alex closed her eyes, so he would see how much that hurt her.

"Did he even look at him?" Andy didn't answer, but in this case Alex knew the answer, she knew that James hadn't even looked at their son. When she opened her eyes, she looked down at her son, who had woken up and was now looking up at her heavy lidded. But Alex could still see the beautiful shade of blue his eyes had.

"I love you Ethan, you are my son and there is nothing on this wold I could love more than you and your sister."

* * *

September 27 2007

After she cooked the dinner that evening Alex went into the living room where Kat sat on the sofa with Ethan in here arms. It was one of the rare moments in which he wasn't crying, because of his colic's, but luckily they finally started to fade. That made life as a single mother a lot more easier for her, as James was nearly never home and refused to help her with Ethan when he was.

"Kat could you lay the table please?" asked Alex as she took Ethan from her.

"Yep!" she then ran to the dining room. Alex was about to start breastfeeding him when the doorbell rang. She laid Ethan back in his bassinet and went to open the door. When she opened it, she saw Andy and Marcus, later was also a colleague of James and she could sense that something wasn't right.

"Andy, Marcus? What are you doing here?" she asked without smiling, her heart began to race and she prayed that they were not going to tell her the one thing she feared since she and James had married.

"Alex…I don't know how to say it…James…he had an accident on his way home…and he did not survived it." Marcus said, as Andy had to fight his own tears, James had been his best friend and they were like family. Alex starred at them, and then shook her head.

"No…no he- there must be a mistake, he's just late, he- no!" tears burned in her eyes and she knew that this wasn't a mistake.

Alex felt like an ice cold hand had griped her heart tight. She had curled up in a ball under her blanket and cried silently in her pillow to neither wake Kat or Ethan whom she had just laid back down to sleep after feeding him. James was gone, she still couldn't believe it, even though they marriage had been nearly non existent lately, she had still loved him, better said the memory of how he used to be, hoping that one day this man would be back.

But now he was gone. She knew that the chance to survive this accident was more than low but why hadn't they found his whole body? Why didn't he come back to her if he had survived? Was she this horrible that he had to fake his own death instead of getting a divorce? There were so many questions inside her head and she had no answer to any of them. She was sad, scared and angry, could she really raise two kids on her own? What if she was going to fail?

"Mommy?" Alex quickly wiped her tears away and looked up.

"Kathrin? What is it?" she asked, as an answer Kathrin closed the door and walked up to her.

"Can, can I sleep here to night? I-" she stopped and Alex lifted the blanket so Kat could crawl under it and snuggled close to her. Alex laid her arm around Kat and took her hand in hers. "I miss Daddy Momma" Kathrin said after a while, she pulled her a little closer and kissed her forehead.

"I know Honey…I miss him too!" and instead of wiping her own tears away she wiped away the ones running down her daughters cheeks. "But never forget how much your father loves you sweetie." suddenly Kat turned around and clutched tight on her mother and cried into her shoulder.

"I know it's hard Kat…but I promise everything is going to be okay again." Alex whispered while tears ran down her cheeks as well and she stroked over Kathrin's head until she has fallen asleep in her arms.

* * *

When Alex woke up the next morning Kat was still cuddled up next to her in bed, she ran her fingers over her face and placed a light kiss against her forehead, before she got up. She changed Ethan's diapers, dressed him and made it down stairs where someone was in her kitchen.

"Hello?" she asked and saw that it was Christina, "What are you doing here?"

"I let myself in with our key." she answered and placed a mug of tea in front of her.

"We never gave you a key." Alex stated and narrowed her eyes at her.

"Yeah I know, you should find a better place to hide it." she then waved at someone, Alex turned and saw Miranda, another good friend of her, who was in her late twenties.

"Did I miss something?" she asked and patterned Ethan's back as he began to whimper.

"No you didn't, give me this little cutie pie!" Miranda said and took Ethan into her arms.

"Alex, we have been talking and Darling you are not alone, we are all going to help you! When you're ready to work again, then I can take Ethan in and when you're not able to get Kat from school than Christi can do it!"

"We're here for you, you hear? You don't need to do this all on your own!" Christina said and hugged her. "You only need to say a word and we're here to help you! No matter what, we are going to stand by your side." she mumbled into her ear.

For a moment Alex didn't know what to say. "Thank you, really I don't know how to do all of this alone"

"No trouble at all Honey! Come on, go upstairs wake Kat and we'll have breakfast together." Miranda suggested. When Alex went upstairs to wake her daughter, she realized what great friends she had, they would stay by her side and helped her as much as they could.

* * *

July 14 2009

"Well thank you again Dr. Reid, that was a great lecture!" Alex said to the long haired man next to her as her students began to shuffle out of the auditorium.

"You can call me Spencer by the way."

"Alex" she answered and shook his hand.

"And I think I have to say thank you too, it doesn't happen every day that a now famous authoress invites you to guest lecture!" she laughed.

"Now, we don't want to exaggerate a book about Linguistics isn't something someone would buy for a cozy evening in front of the fireplace."

"I would-" he was interrupted by the sound of her ring tone.

"I'm sorry, could you excuse me for a moment?" he nodded and she answered her phone.

"Blake?".

"Hey Alex it's Miranda"

"Hey, what's up?"

"What's up? How about my Musical debut? That's up!"

"Oh man…Miranda, I think I'm not able to make it"

"What? Why not? Alex your one of my best friends! You have to be there!"

"I know I'm sorry, but I can't leave Kat alone with Ethan and everyone I could ask is at your Musical debut!"

"She's nearly eleven! You don't have to stay all night!"

"I thought it ended at half past eleven?"

"Yes…"

"I can't leave her alone for over four hours with her two year old brother! I'm really sorry-"

"If you need someone I could watch them if you want!" interrupted Spencer, Alex turned around and looked at him surprised.

"Oh…no! Well, not no! just-…no! I don't know you really " Alex said slightly embarrassed to turn him down.

"Is that the cute Doctor I saw you with some weeks ago? Take the offer!" But Alex already hung up, she chewed on her bottom lip.

"Your always on call for the FBI anyway aren't you?".

"Ah…no I'm on vacation…forced vacation to be specific …but if you don't want me to watch them it's okay!" she glanced at her phone, Miranda would hold this against her forever. And he wasn't exactly a stranger, they've had had a some cups of coffee together and he was an FBI Agent for god's sake!.

"Could you come over at seven?".

* * *

Punctual at seven the doorbell rang. "Kat? Could you open the door?" yelled Alex as she was still in the bathroom drying Ethan with a towel.

"Did you really had to play my flowerbeds today?".

"Yes!" Ethan cheekily grinned at her.

"Yeah I can imagine!" she dressed him in his pajamas and lifted him up and made her way down where Spencer was already waiting. Kat leaned at the stairs with her arms crossed over her chest.

"-Have you ever killed somebody?".

"Kat! stop asking people things like that ! I'm sorry if she was outrageous " said Alex and sent her a glance which clearly told her to behave.

"Oh no problem " he said "Well, that's my daughter Kat and my son Ethan " she said and let the boy slide from her waist.

"Well Kat? Ethan needs to be in bed in half an hour and you're in bed by half past eight!"

"Yeah, yeah"

"Okay, oh just one more thing, Ethan's pretty swift so make sure he's not going to steal something from that drawer," he sent her a questioning look "Sweets."she added. "Ok, I try to come back as soon as possible yeah? I love you Kat." she kissed her and Ethan goodbye.

"My number is next to the phone, if something happens call me!" said Alex and left.

* * *

"My Mom is also an FBI Agent" said Kat as they finished her school project which was due the next day and as Kat had delayed the project until know, she needed some help to finish it in time.

"I know-"

"Do you also teach at George Town?"

"No, but sometimes I guest lecture, but mainly I'm with the FBI." Spencer answered and glued one side of the pyramid.

"Are you in love with my Mom?" he looked at her surprised.

"Wha-?...N-no."

"Then why are you here?" asked Kat.

"Because me and your mom are friends and you help your friends if they need your help and she is married to your dad isn't she?" he said remembering the wedding ring on Alex's finger. Kat stopped smiling and lowered her head.

"No she's not…my Dad disappeared two years ago after an accident."

"I'm sorry…"

"We manage all right." Kat mumured and frowned. "Oh no…you didn't leave the drawer with the sweets open did you ?".

"No…" he turned around and saw the little bench in front of the drawer.

After they chased Ethan through the whole house and finally managed to put him to bed, it was eleven o'clock and both him and Kat were more than tired.

"I'm not going to tell your mom that you have been awake until now, when you promise not to tell her that Ethan had some sweets."

"Deal…I'll go to bed now and thank you for helping me with my school project." said Kat and turned around half way up the stairs.

"I like you, you're pretty cool Spencer…Good Night!" to say he was surprised was understated, after all he was the one who named the Reid Effect. But Kat really seemed to like him.

"Thanks Kat, Good Night!"

* * *

March 10. 2010

By now it was the most beautiful day of the year, sunny, warm not too hot and he wanted to be everywhere, but not here. He stood several feet away from the other people who were here. In front of him where maybe sixty people who said their last goodbye to James Blake. They had found his burned body a week ago in Annapolis, they had only been able to idenify him with his wedding ring.

He mostly saw Policemen honor a fallen companion, he saw an elderly couple most likely his parents and he could see a young man next to Alex, who looked like her brother. But Spencer had only eyes for her.

She wore a black dress, her hair went a little past her shoulder blades and were slightly curly, she had nothing in them, no black veil or something like that and it suited her better. She wasn't sobbing or anything like that, trying to keep it together for her children.

He only saw how she hugged Kat tight and after a moment he himself felt being watched. When his eyes searched through the crowd in front of him, he saw that Kat looked at him through the gap between her mother's arm and chest, her brown eyes were red and filled with a kind of sorrow which should never be seen in the eyes of a twelve year old girl.

After the Ceremonies were over and the coffin was lowered into the ground, he heard how Ethan cried and swallowed the lump in his throat. This cute little man would never know his own father, the only one left were his mother and sister.

As everyone started to walk away, Reid saw that Alex's brother, took Ethan in his arms and laid one arm around Kat, only Alex was left at the fresh grave, he waited, but then decided to go to her. He laid a hand on her shoulder and she flinched before she quickly turned around, her cheeks were soaked with tears.

"I-I didn't want them to see me like that." she stopped, he knew she meant Kat and Ethan, one moment Spencer didn't know if he could or better said should hug her, but as she tried harder and harder not so cry, he laid his arms around her. At first she only cried a little, but then all the pain and sorrow seemed to break out of her and he had to hold her on her legs. In this second he promised himself to never leave her alone, he knew she couldn't do this all on her own and he would help her, because they were friends…and because her heart started to beat faster while he hugged her close.

* * *

July 12. 2012

After the second time he rang the doorbell, the door was opened by Kat.

"Hey Spencer! Come in, Mom is in the garden." she said and led him in, he followed her through the house and when they stood in the garden, he saw Ethan and a friend who played in the little pool, but Alex was nowhere to be seen.

"Mom! Stop hiding it's Spencer not Mr. Paxton!" Kat yelled and rolled her eyes as her mother stepped out behind the corner of the house.

"Thank god…you wouldn't believe that 3 rebuffs were enough to make it clear that I'm in a relationship and that I don't want to go out with him! Hi Spence!" Alex said with a smile and brushed some earth off her cheek.

Before Reid could say something he was interrupted by Ethan.

"Uncle Spencer!" he had a big grin on his face and ran towards him so they could high five.

"Hi Ethan!"

"Will you stay for dinner?" he asked and Spencer looked at his mother.

"When your mom allows it?"

"Pretty pretty please?" she rolled her eyes, as if she would ever say no when it was about Spencer.

"Sure, but now go and play with Hunter, in five minutes you have to come in, Hunter's Mom is going to be here in twenty minutes."

"Super Cool!" Reid laughed and looked at Kat.

"You haven't taught him more?"

"Hey! In one week he' s going to say super awesome and Holy Sh-"

"Stop teaching your little brother such words!" said Alex reproachful and hit Kat on the back of her head with her gloves. They then went inside and Reid leaned to Kat.

"If Ethan's able to say deoxyribonucleic acid in two weeks you'll get 50 dollars." Spencer whispered.

"Deal."

"So why did you come over? Not that I mind!" Alex asked as she took a sip of water.

"Well, I want to bring you something. They wanted to send it to you, but I said I would bring it to you personally." he then handed her the sealed letter, her eyes then widened in shock as she saw who sent the letter.

"Mom? Everything alright?" Kat asked.

"What does the BAU want from me?"

"Read." he said and gave her no chance to read the content of the letter off of his face, she opened the letter and with every line she got more shocked and leaned onto the kitchen counter.

"Am I dreaming?" she asked and he shook his head.

"No, totally they're serious. We want you to come back and work with me in my team." now also Kat's jaw dropped.

"They want you to work for them again?"

"What do you say?"

"Do you have something to do with this? Because I said I would like to work with you again?" he scratched the back of his head.

"Well…no, you have been under the top three from the beginning, but maybe I recommended you a little bit."

"I-I don't know…I can't leave Kat and Ethan alone for two to five days"

"Yes you can Mom! I'm not alone, I have Christina and Andy to help me and I'm not eleven but fourteen, you told me that you want to work active for the FBI again! Now you have the Chance! Don't say no because of me and Ethan, I don't want you to regret one day that you stayed home." Kat said and Alex laid down the letter to hug Kat tight, before she took her face into her hands.

"Never ever say something like that again okay? I would never regret staying here with you, yes I miss my old job but you two are the most important and wonderful things in my life Kathrin! And I'm going to tell you now that you or Ethan can say anytime that you want me to come back and quit! And I'm going to do it, you say now that it's okay, but maybe someday you want me to come home again." Alex kissed her forehead and Kat grinned at her.

"Okay I promise"

"So does it mean you're going to say yes?" asked Reid, who had watched the scene between Alex and Kat with a smile, of course he knew how much she loved Kat and Ethan, but the chance to work with her was really compelling.

"Okay…I'll say yes!" Alex said full of anticipation. She didn't how much her life would change because of this job.

* * *

First chapter, write a review and tell me if you liked it!

Alexspencerfan

All original characters and some events, belong to the writers of Criminal Minds! Kat and Ethan and other OC's belong to me! All rights reserved!


	2. Chapter 1

"-So this means that if there are little spaces between words in a Document, the writer is either angry, if his actual writing style changed, or he is mentally unstable. Understood? Kyle I recommend you to turn your attention back to the reading instead of trying to break your Angry Birds record!" Alex said and some of the other students were chuckling, while Kyle's cheeks turned red. Alex wanted to say something when her cell phone vibrated. She looked on the display and saw that it was her reminder of Ethan's soccer game.

"Okay that was my cue, read the next three chapters until tomorrow!" a murmur of disapproval went through the room.

"Hey in my college years, I had to read way more than three chapters and I had to elaborate them so be happy! Besides the fifth chapter has only six pages and no comments about my college time being over for thirty years which is not true." Alex said as she shouldered her bag.

"Was that a new Case Doctor Blake?" Claire asked interested.

"Yeah, I saw you on the news a couple weeks ago, that was pretty cool!".

"Thanks Jonathan, but that's not going to help your grade and that wasn't a new Case, that was my reminder of my sons soccer game, because when I'm going to miss that you got a problem."

"Why is that our problem?"

"Because then I have to make it up, then there is no time for me to prepare for your course and then you have to read seven chapters over the weekend…and you'll have to elaborate them !" with that Alex was out the door and hurried over the campus to her car. She had luck and made it just in time to see the kickoff, she searched the stands and Christina waved at her.

"What are you doing here? It was my turn to drive." Christina greeted her as Alex sat down beside her.

"Hello to you too, I'm here because Ethan was really angry with me when I missed his last game, and since I'm here, I thought I would come by."

"Alright, but where is your Soccer Moms Pullover?" they both almost broke down trying to stifle their laugher, Alex shook her head.

"I got that thing and it went straight down into the basement."

"Mine is used as a pillow by the cat." Christina stated as they continue to watch the game, they loved to mock about those super Mommy's they were surrounded by, all in blue Soccer Moms Pullovers.

"Oh you gonna like this! Have you seen Cynthia already?" Christina asked.

"No, should I?" Christina leaned back so Alex could see the woman with the obvious wrong nose and now she also had bad silicon lips. "Oh my God. That's not true is it? Dreams really do come true." Alex smirked.

"I know! It looks awful, this day can't get any better." Christina answered with a dreamy expression on her face, she was still angry at Cynthia because she told her that she too could use a visit at her beauty doc.

"So did Joe tell you what the two had been up to last weekend?" Alex asked as she stole a sip of the coffee Christina had brought.

"No she kept quiet, what about Kat?" but Alex shook her head.

"No Chance." in this moment Ethan shot a goal and the two cheered like the rest, she saw how he searched for her in the crowd and when he found her, Alex threw him an air-kiss and held both her thumps up.

"How much longer do we have to sit here?" Christina mumbled as she laid her head on Alex's shoulder who poked her in the ribs.

"You're a great mom you know that?"

"I know, but seriously look at them! There, Mathilda- I can't understand this, is she stoned or what?" they laughed and watched Mathilda as she cheered at her son, her blue Soccer Moms Pullover laid over her shoulders, so everyone could see here Steven Fan-Shirt and with the Soccer Moms baseball cap she had on, she looked just ridiculous.

"Believe me, I am so happy you're here or else I couldn't guarantee for anything!"

"I know, you're already freaking out when you have to throw a birthday party." Alex said.

"That's not my fault. They always think they have to mother their children, as if I'd lock them in the garage with some kibble." Christina grumbled.

When the Team of their sons finally won, Alex and Christina waited a little apart from the others for the three boys, who quickly came over to them. Alex hugged Ethan tight and Christina laid her arms around Fabian and Ryan.

"Did you see how I shot the goal Mommy? Did you?" Ethan grinned brightly at her.

"Of course I have, that was a great goal!" Alex answered and smiled proudly at him, before they walked to the cars together.

"Mom can I later go over and play with Fabian and Ryan?" Alex looked at Christina who just shrugged.

" 'Course he can."

"Okay, when we're home you'll shower and then you can go over."

"Shall we drive to the High School? Kat's lessons are almost over." Alex asked as she drove out the parking area.

"Yes!"

"Okay, to the High School it is."

When they got there, the students started to leave the school. Alex and Ethan got out of the car and waited there for Kat, when they saw her, she was already half way to the bus station.

"Kat! Kat!" the second time Kat turned around and Alex waved, a smile spread across Kats face as she and her friends came back.

"Hey Mom! What are you doing here?" Kat asked and kissed her mother cheek, "Hey Shorty!" she then ruffled through her little brothers hair, but immediately took her hand back as his hair was a little sweaty.

"I was at Ethan's Soccer game and afterwards we thought we could stop by and give you guys a ride home? What do you say, Freddy, Joe and?" she looked at the boy beside Joe she didn't know, he was tall, had blonde hair and slight shabby clothes.

"Cool, thanks Alex." Joe replied grinning.

"No thank you Mrs. Blake, Chris and I here are going check out the new game store in the Mall!" the two boys then said their goodbyes to the girls and they all got into the car.

"Hey Kat, do you know what? We won and I shot one of three goals!" Ethan said proudly.

"Hey cool! I told you, you could do it!" Kat grinned at him.

"Did one of my brothers also shoot a goal?" asked Joe.

"No, Fabian played only defense and Ryan got changed in really late, after Paul was fouled." he explained.

"Well, at least you shot one high five!"

* * *

"Go shower." Alex said as she opened the front door and Ethan ran up the stairs.

"How was school today?" Alex asked Kat, as said took a bottle of water out of the fridge.

"Nah it was okay, how was the reading?"

"Like always."

"So, when are we finally meeting the rest of your team?"

"Not again Kat! I thought we went through this often enough! I'll introduce you when the time is right, but I can't take the two of you to a bar…and I want them to get to know you personally." Alex stated.

"What about the grill party Rossi throws tomorrow?" Kat asked.

"Since when is Rossi throwing a grill party? Nobody- who called and when?" she asked her daughter a little annoyed.

"Yesterday, he spoke on the answering machine, his name was Morgan and he said that tomorrow Rossi would throw a party at seven thirty and you are invited…and you should bring a salad." Kat looked eagerly at her mother.

"Seems like I have to call Rossi and ask him if I can bring two other people with me." suddenly Kat stepped forward laid her arms around Alex's waist and buried her face in her shoulder, a little surprised Alex hugged her back.

"What have you been up to?" she asked suspiciously.

"Nothing! I just felt like hugging you." Kat mumbled.

"You know, somebody could see how you're hugging your mother!" Kat giggled but her arms didn't lose around her.

"I know and I don't care. I love you mom." she whispered and Alex kissed her forehead.

"I love you too sweetheart."

They parted and Kat went up to her room, while Alex spent the rest of the day preparing her lecture and doing the laundry.

"Kat! Kat!" Alex yelled and was not for the first time peeved about the loud grunge music in Kats room, which made any tries to get her attention useless. When she opened the door to her room, she saw Kat sitting in the middle of the room on a pile of clothes, doing her homework while being filled with the sound of "Hey" by the Pixies.

Generally it looked like a bomb went off in her room, beginning with her walls which were full of posters, photos and other things like a green ukulele. Her drawer, which was full of Joe's drawings and things they cut out of their favorite magazines, seemed to be empty considering the cloths which were spread all over the room.

"Kat!" finally Kat noticed her and looked up before she turned the music off.

"What's up?"

"Could you help me with dinner? And after that, you're going to clean your room young Lady, or there is no grill party at Rossis for you!" said Alex while she tugged the top off the guitar beside her.

"Okay, but I'm doing my German class homework what the hell is the simple past form of lassen?" she asked, Kat inherited her interest in languages and she was already pretty good, she could speak Spanish, German and French though she still wasn't able to speak German and French fluent.

"Hmm let me see," Alex looked at the sentence Kat wrote ,,Ich werde sie gehen lassen…so then it's ließ! Ich ließ sie gehen." Alex said in German.

"Thanks Mom."

"No problem and you spelled Wand wrong, that's supposed to be an a not an ä."

"Thanks again." Kat quickly corrected her mistakes and followed her down.

"Is Ethan home yet?" Alex asked when they were finished and her

"Don't think so, should I go over and get him?" Kat asked but in that moment the front door opened.

"I'm home." Ethan called as he closed the door.

"We're in the kitchen." Kat answered immediately.

"Wash your hands and then come eat, dinner is ready." Alex said and Ethan ran out the Kitchen again. As they ate the phone rang and Alex got up, this had to be Rossi because he hadn't been home when she had phoned him earlier.

"Blake?"

"Hi Alex this is Rossi, you phoned earlier?" he asked.

"Yes, I wanted to know if I could bring someone with me tomorrow?"

" 'Course you can, do we know the lucky guy?" she could almost heard him grin.

"No Rossi not a lucky guy but-"

"A she? Wow Blake now I am surprised"

"Rossi let me finish the sentence! It's also not a she, god does not being married and showing off boyfriends to everyone already mean you lesbian? I was talking about my kids."

"Oh! So we are finally going to meet them? Great, yeah of course you can bring them over. I think Jack and Henry are coming too, so he has someone to play with."

"Great thanks- oh and is tomato salad okay?"

"Tomato salad sounds good, we'll see each other tomorrow!"

"Yes, bye."

"Mommy I'm ready are you coming?" Ethan asked he stood in the doorway to the living room in his superhero pajama and Alex looked up from the book she was read on the couch.

"Did you brush your teeth?"

"Yes!"

"Have you been on the toilet?"

"Yes!"

"Did you pick out a book?"

"Jap!"

"Did you say good night to Kat?" Alex asked as she laid her book aside.

"Nope." Kat answered before her little brother could, then kissed his cheek and ruffled his hair

"Night Shorty!"

"Don't call me Shorty!" he pouted.

"Come on let's tuck you in." Alex interfered quickly before the two would start arguing again and gently pushed Ethan to the stairs. They got into his room and lay down in his bed.

"Do you want to read? Or shall I?"

"Hmm…you!" Ethan said and snuggled close to her.

"Okay where were we?"

"Well, for today we've finished," Alex said and put the book aside "You didn't tell how school was today?"

"It was okay, we made a sculpture out of papier-mâché and Jimmy glued all the pages of his exercise book together." Ethan told her and had to giggle.

"Really? Oh Miss Cobb didn't like that did she?"

"No she was really angry and Ian was mean to me."

"What? Why?" Alex always thought that they were friends.

"He said that I wasn't allowed to come to his birthday party because I have no Dad." for a moment she didn't know what to say, she knew that now the time began when it would become even harder for Ethan to grow up without a real father and that wasn't easy for him.

"That was really mean, do you want me to talk to his mom about that?"

"No, I only wanted to go because we would've visited the Baseball stadium."

"We'll see what we can do about it tomorrow alright? I love you so, so much Ethan," she whispered and laid her forehead against his, before she gave him a kiss "you know that don't you?"

"I know, I love you too Mommy." and it didn't last long before he fell asleep.

Alex snuck out his bedroom and quietly closed the door. Before she went down she peeked into Kats room and immediately had to laugh. Kat danced around her room while cleaning up and with her IPod plugs in, she didn't hear her laugh. Alex waited until Kat finally noticed her and jumped in shock.

"Mom!" she said reproachfully and her cheeks turned a dark shade of red, while Alex laughed again.

"You should work on your turns." she commented and Kat turned even redder.

"Don't go to bed so late okay?" Alex asked as Kat picked up a bra.

"M'kay, wait Mom! Could you drive me to school tomorrow?"

"Do I have to? Okay, but only when your able to get your lazy butt out of bed, I'm not going to wait for you." she then closed the door and went down stairs, where she opened the wine and waited until Spencer was here.

* * *

She was half asleep on the couch, when there was a knock on the front door, this could only be Spencer, as he was the only one who never rang the doorbell after Ethan went to bed. Alex got up and opened the door.

"Hi Spencer." she greeted him and let him step in side.

"Hello Alex." he set his bag beside hers and they walked into the living room.

"So? What did you do today?" she asked and filled their glasses.

"Not much, I bought myself some books about Philosophies and Politic theories."

"And?" she asked no one else would've cared but she did, she liked it when he told her about the things that interested and mattered to him.

"I don't think some of the theories are matured, but beside that it was quite interesting." Reid replied and smiled a little.

She returned the smile and didn't know why, but when they were alone he was somehow different.

"What is it?" Reid then asked, but she only shook her head.

"Nothing." they chinked glasses and nipped at them in silent.

"How was your day?" she sighed and took another sip of her glass.

"Can't complain, I made it to Ethan's soccer game, then we picked up Kat and well, the rest of the day was pretty unspectacular. Just Mom stuff."

He looked close at her and knew immediately that something bothered her.

"Alex, I've known you for so long, I know when you're trying to hide something, you always brush your hair behind your right ear and you never last eye contact, what is it?" Spencer asked. It had never made sense to try to hide something from him, sooner or later, mostly sooner, he found out.

"What am I doing wrong Spence?" she asked and pulled her legs up to her chest.

"What do you mean?"

"Today, a friend of Ethan told him that he wasn't allowed to come to his birthday because he has no father. He needs a father, not just because of things like that, but I'm not enough anymore, Kurt was the first one he saw as a father figure and when he left me…you should have seen his face. I think it was even worse for him than for me." she said as she stared into the nothing.

For a Moment he didn't know what to say and then something like anger started to rose in him, because that son of a bitch had left her liked that. Only because she didn't want to move to Boston with him, but maybe it wasn't anger but jealousy? That he had been able to make her happy? That he had been a father figure of Ethan? No, what nonsense.

"Alex don't blame yourself! He wasn't the right one, because if he was, he wouldn't have taken the offer or he wouldn't have been giving you only the options to come with him, or break up with him! If you ask me he was a complete Idiot to leave you. You are a great woman, with two wonderful kids every man could be lucky to call his family!" he realized too late what he said, but Alex only smiled thankfully at him.

"Thank you Spencer."

"I would tell Ethan that you would go with him, but I know that you're not a fan of baseball even though you hit that Homerun! Do you think Morgan would go with him, if I asked him tomorrow? I mean it's a free trip into the Baseball stadium."

"Of course he would." he answered even though he wanted to say that he would love to go with Ethan. She laid her head on his shoulder and sighed.

"Do you think they will like them? God, they are going to hate me for this."

"They are going to love them like everybody else does. And once you explained why you never even talked about the two, they'll understand, you're a mother whose daughter was kidnapped and taken for 71 hours. It's understandable that you're not going to tell everyone about them especially in our job and when they know how Kat was able to be kidnapped."

She took her glass again and drank her wine before leaning back and Spencer glanced unobtrusive at her out of the corner of his eye. In this moment he didn't know what the hell he was doing here and why he was thinking like that about Alex, but he enjoyed her present beside him and no words needed to be said as he also leaned back.

It didn't last long before Alex laid her head on his shoulder again and now he laid his on hers. The sweet scent of her hair and the fresh, fruity note of her perfume rose to his nose, she never wore much perfume, it was always just a waft which surrounded her. He closed his eyes and carefully, so she wouldn't notice, breathed her in.

-Stop it! Stop it now- she though over and over again as she leaned into him again, but with every second she wanted to be closer, she enjoyed his warmth and the smell of old books, which they both preferred, tea and his own sweet scent. She slightly turned her head so that her nose was buried in the soft fabric of his cardigan and she could only breathe him in.

It was funny how everyone had his own smell; James had always smelled like a sunny morning when it had rained all night. Kurt had something of a sea breeze on a hot beach, even though he would often wear that overpowering aftershave plus the constant note of a hospital. But Spencer, she felt protected secure when she was by his side, like she sat cozy and warm in front of a fireplace with some tea and an old book. –I wish I was special enough for him -.

She was surprised were that thought came from and then she quickly sat up, to pour herself again some wine. They talked long about different theories, cases and studies until Alex was really tired, after all she hadn't slept much the night before and it was one o'clock in the morning. When she had to, she could stay up long without sleep, though it wasn't a good idea to talk to her before her first cup of coffee, but if she had a long day, there was nothing better than her comfortable bed.

"If you want you can stay, the guestroom is set." she said as she put the glasses in the sink.

"No thanks I'll head home, we'll see each other tomorrow." he said, Alex sent him a smile and he quickly turned away from her so she wouldn't see the small blush on his cheeks.

"Alright, see you tomorrow." she locked the door behind him and stood there for a moment, not knowing that Spencer did the same on the other side of the door. -What the hell is wrong with me? We're only friends- they both thought and Alex went up the stairs to go to bed.

* * *

**AN:**

**Well that was the first Chapter ! This is set between "Nanny Dearest" and "#6" which I switched so in the this story "#6" comes before "Nanny Dearest" and an other little note ! Spencer is older ! 36 and Alex is 40 (you don't know how old she really is so I just picked what seemed best for me :D )  
**

**And last note I got a beta read which still needs to look over it so the mistakes are going to disappear, I just couldn't wait to upload it ^^**

"lassen"/ "ließ" = let

"Ich werde sie gehen lassen" = I will let her go

"Ich ließ sie gehen" = I let her go

"Wand" = Wall


	3. Wrong Move ?

Wrong Move ?

"Kat! Get down here now!" Alex yelled for the second time within the past few minutes. She stormed upstairs and sighed when she saw that Kat was still lying in bed.

"Get up Kat! Now! I have to go in ten minutes. I thought you wanted me to drive you to school today?"

"Only five more minutes," Kat muttered into her pillow, but Alex pulled the blanket off of her daughter and opened the curtains.

"Oh Man," Kat grumbled and sat up.

She shuffled past her mother and down the stairs to pour herself some Coffee.

"Good morning Kat!" Ethan said happily as he placed his empty bowl of cornflakes in the sink.

"Morning Shorty." She mumbled. Even though she was only fifteen, it was clear that she was a little bit addicted to coffee, just like her mom. Before Ethan could answer Alex came in and interrupted him.

"Ethan go brush your teeth we're leaving now. You'll have to take the bus!"

"M'kay bye Mom," She kissed her cheek and ruffled to her little brother's hair.

When her mother and brother had left, Kat took her cup, went upstairs again, searched for her cell and then dialed a number. "What's up Kitty Kat?" A tired voice answered after the third ring.

"Hey Chris, you sound like you didn't sleep well again." she greeted her best friend a little worried.

"Ah well, actually I never went to bed, but that's not important what do you want?"

"I thought that maybe, you could take me to school with you? Pretty, pretty please?" Kat asked. It was silent for a few moments before Chris answered.

"Sure, I'll get the car and be at yours in fifteen minutes!" He said and Kat smiled.

"Thanks Chris."

"No problem." She then got dressed in a pair of tight Jeans which were ripped at the knees, a t-shirt with Kurt Cobain on it and an old flannel shirt, which she wore over her T-shirt. She also put on her old chucks.

Kat looked in the mirror and decided that she looked acceptable to go out before she stopped and ran her fingers through her blond hair. She looked like a younger version of her mother but with golden blond locks instead of chestnut brown. She was proud of the look she had inherited from her mother and father.

The doorbell rang as Kat grabbed her backpack and ran down stairs to open the door and was greeted by the smiling face of Chris. She ignored her heart as it jumped and smiled back. "Hi just a sec!" she said as she put away the dishes and locked the door before getting into his car.

"So did you finally tell your mom about you and Toby?" He asked during the ride.

"He got angry again, didn't he?"

"Yep." She sighed annoyed.

"I will tell her about him when I think it's the right time! I just don't know how she'll react. She didn't know my other three boyfriends before him."

"How long have you been dating them? Three weeks at the most."

"Chris!"

"Sorry, just tell him that you're scared!" Chris said as he parked by the school.

"I did." Kat mumbled.

"And what did he say?"

"He laughed at me and said that it was bullshit and everyone liked him." She confessed as she got out and gave him no chance to answer.

Kat was about to walk inside when strong arms pulled her back and into a warm chest which smelled like a mix between wood, something sweet she couldn't define, and cigarettes. It was probably from Drakes music studio/bar basement where he had spent the night.

"Hey, I'm Toby's friend and sometimes he talks complete nonsense, so don't listen to him okay?" Chris said but Kat was still too surprised to answer, she was feeling butterflies in her stomach when he hugged her like that. He was her boyfriend's friend!

"Thank you Chris."

"Hey! The two of you get your butts in the classroom; the lesson started!" yelled a teacher and the two quickly ran inside but not without laughing their asses off. They were lucky, as it seemed their teacher was late too. Kat strolled to her seat beside Joe in the last row and Chris sat down in front of Joe.

"Bet you five dollars that Freddy's going to be late by 4 minutes from now!" Chris said.

"Three."

"I say five." Kat replied. As Mr. Franklin started the lesson the three eagerly waited for their friend to arrive. After four damn minutes the door opened and Freddy stumbled in, excused himself for being late and sat down two seats in front of Kat. Chris turned around and grinned at the two girls, who grumbled and each of them gave him five dollars as he stuck his tongue out at them and wiggled his eyebrows.

Kat spent the rest of the day writing some notes and played tick tack toe with Joe. She spent the break with Toby, who wasn't in her class and slowly Kat was glad about that, as he started to get really annoying with his attempts to have finally have sex with her. When the school day was over for them, they decided to go to the mall.

"God, geography with Mr. Rents is boring as hell! I'm going to drop it next year!" Joe said.

"Haven't you been saying that since last year?" Freddy asked.

"Yeah, but you have to admit, that guy is fucking creepy! Hello? Somebody who spends his free time collecting stamps and building ships in bottles can't be normal! It's a miracle that your mom isn't investigating against him because he has corpses in his basement, full of stamps and with bottles with little ships inside stapled all over them!" She said. Freddy and Chris shared a worried and questioning glance while Kat shook her head amused.

Half an hour later they sat in the corner of a coffee shop in the Mall. Freddy, Kat and Chris all had a coffee while Joe drank a sugar free Milkshake because nobody wanted to be near her when she had too much caffeine or sugar in her system. After a while Chris noticed that Kat was only fumbling with the paper ring around her cup, like she always did when something bothered her.

"Hey, ya alright?" he asked.

"Oh it's nothing," Kat replied and smiled, but her friends all knew that something was not right.

"What's up Kat?" Freddy asked.

"Come on, we can all see that something is off Kat!" Joe said.

"Well, a colleague of my mom is throwing a grill party tonight and my brother and I are invited."

"Wow…I thought no one knew she had you guys?" Freddy asked.

"No, well, they know she has kids. At least I think so, but they probably don't even know our names. Since Dad and my abduction, let's say she doesn't like talking about her private life at work." she took a sip of her coffee and tried to find the right words to explain why that made her nervous.

"I'm just a little nervous. What if they don't like us or don't even want us to be there?"

"That's never gonna happen Kat! I don't know anybody who doesn't like you or your brother! They'll like you for sure." Joe said.

"She's right!" Chris said and he took her hand in his.

"Mom and Spence always say how great they all are. I- I want them to like us. I don't want Mom to be ashamed of me and Ethan."

"Kat! Stop talking such bullshit! Your Mom is like my second Mom. I've known her since I was little and she would rather be hated by the whole world, than be ashamed of one of you!" Joe replied and in moments like this, Kat knew why she was her best friend.

"Thanks guys," They just smiled back at her. She bought herself a new DVD and then Chris drove them all home. Joe got out but Kat stayed behind. "You wanna come in for a moment?" She asked hopefully.

"Err no better not, Toby's coming." He said and pointed back.

"Oh…yeah, well okay…see ya." She got out and watched as he drove away. Kat turned around and looked at Toby.

"You could have at least changed into some jeans!" she said when she saw that he was still wearing his dirty Football clothes.

"Hello to you too," he said as he kissed her "but when I had changed, I wouldn't be here!" He added.

When Kat had closed the door, two arms wrapped around her and turned her back a little coarser then needed. He gave her no time to say something as his lips already crushed down on hers. After sometime she pushed him away because she couldn't breathe and he would just not let go.

"Toby let me breathe in between!" she said and he just rolled his eyes.

"Come here." Toby pulled her back and kiss her again this time a little softer.

Soon afterwards, his hands started to wander under her shirt, which wouldn't have been a problem if his hands stayed at her waist and didn't try to reach for the clasp of her bra. She tried to stop him but he wouldn't let go.

"Toby, Toby-please stop. No-Toby! Toby! Stop now!" Kat yelled as she tried to push him away with all her strength.

"Holy shit! What's wrong with you?!" he yelled as Kat flinched away from him.

"I don't want this! I've told you before!"

"We've been dating for over four months now!" Kat stared at him.

"And? Is there now a timeline in which you have to have sex?"

"Yeah, it was two months ago!"

"If you only want a chick to fuck then you'll have to search for another girlfriend!" Kat screamed at him and pointed to the door.

"Kat, Babe please I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that!" He said as he placed his hand under her chin so she would look up to him.

"I'm really sorry, but sometimes I get that feeling that you don't think that I'm taking this seriously and that you are ashamed of me."

"How could you think something like that?" Kat asked.

"Well, you don't want me to meet your mother!" She rolled her eyes.

"I told you a million times that has nothing to do with you!"

"Okay. Are we alright again?" When she looked into his eyes, Kat didn't see his brown one, but the light blue ones of someone else she knew. They weren't alright.

"Yeah…we're alright."

* * *

"Kat I'm home, and whose bike is that outside?" Alex called as she stepped through the front door. She went into the living room and saw Kat with a boy in a football cloths sitting on the couch.

"That's Toby's bike Mom," Kat stood and gave her mother a quick peck on the cheek. "I gave him the biology homework from yesterday when he wasn't in school."

"Ah, Hi Toby." Alex said, there was something about that boy she didn't like.

"Hello, err yeah thanks for the homework and the glass of water." He said and stood too.

"You're welcome."

"It was nice to meet you Mrs. Blake." he said and left. When Kat closed the door and turned around again Alex narrowed one eyebrow.

"Toby huh?"

"Mom!"

"I said nothing. Could you hang the laundry while I make lunch?" Kat groaned annoyed.

"Do I have to?"

"If you want to go to the party." Alex answered.

"That's blackmailing!"

"I'm an FBI Agent, I know what blackmailing, now go." Kat mumbled something under her breath which would have caused her two weeks of grounding if she said it out loud.

"What was that?" Alex asked.

"Nothing!" Kat quickly responded as she rushed away from her mother.

When Kat came back up from the basement again, she saw that her mother was talking to someone on the phone.

"Yes, I'll be there as fast as I can-" Kat saw her face and could read one thing on it, work.

She went into the kitchen without looking at her mother any further and sliced the vegetables her mom had left unfinished. Well, Rossi's party was down the toilet. Sometimes her mum's job sucked.

"Kat I-"

"I have to go. We have another case. I'm sorry; I'll back as fast as possible! Take care of Ethan and tell him that I have to work. If something happens go over to Christina, I love you! I know the line and I'm going to tell Ethan you had to go. I'll manage everything, while you're at work." Kat snapped as she turned off the stove and tried to walk past Alex.

Kat had nothing against her mother's job. Kat was even pretty proud to be able to say that her mother was an FBI Agent, but that didn't make her any less scared for her every time she knew her mum was going out into the field. She was her mother! Kat had no one beside her anymore. She was scared that her mother wouldn't come home again every time she left on a case.

Sometimes Kat found herself wishing that her mum was just a Professor. However she knew how much this work meant to her mom and how long it took her to get back where she was now. That was why Kat would never say anything, even though every time she left, there was a huge fight between the fear of losing her mother and her sanity. Kat knew that her mother wouldn't be happy if she had to give up the job she loved almost as much as she loved her children. Sanity won, always, even if it hurt.

"Kathrin!" Alex stood in her way and forced Kat to look at her.

"I'm really sorry that I have to go and that the party isn't going to happen. I know you are excited to meet them all!" she said.

"Yes but you have to go, so go." Kat turned out of her hands and went upstairs in her room, immediately loud music could be heard. Alex sighed and went upstairs to get her fresh to go bag. As she walked past Kats room, she tried again and knocked loudly.

"Kat? I'm going now, I love you." She waited but the only answer she got was the volume of the music which increased. Alex gave up and went downstairs and out to her car. On days like this she hated herself for leaving, but she couldn't stop! That was her weak spot, she would do anything for her children, but as long as they didn't say anything, about not wanting her to work with the FBI anymore, she wouldn't stop working.

* * *

(Case Nanny Dearest )

As they landed, Alex's goodbye was probably even shorter than JJ's, but in that moment she didn't care, all she cared for was going back home. She quickly turned down the offer from Rossi to go over to his place for a drink and a few games and made it down to the parking areas. She never saw the small smile Reid gave her as she hurried over to the elevators.

"What's up with them both?" Morgan asked as the men group plus Garcia and, exceptionally Erin, made it to the elevators themselves.

"Well this case was nearly all about kids…that must have wrecked them." Hotch said.

"I understand it with JJ but Blake?" He asked again.

"She might doesn't show it, but cases with children are really hard for her. And if a child is in danger or in bad shape, then it's often the motherly instinct which causes a woman to help or at least be touched. It doesn't even matter if the woman has children of her own, exceptions are-"

"Yes, as our favorite genius babbled again, no lady wouldn't be not touched or wrecked by this case." Garcia interrupted.

"Don't you know what happened to Blake twelve years ago?" Strauss asked confused.

She thought that the team knew about Alex's daughter being kidnapped.

"No what do you mean?" Morgan asked interested.

He, Rossi, JJ and Garcia didn't know, in the corner of her eye she saw how Reid shook his head.

"Well, it's definitely not my place to tell you if she didn't."

"Okay…doesn't matter right now. Let's go and empty my good wine collection!" Rossi replied as the group bundled into the elevator.

Alex quickly pulled into her driveway, rushed out of her car and hurried over to the front door. Behind the curtains of the living room she saw the faint shining of the one light Kat always left burning in case Alex came home late. She unlooked the door and placed her bag on the floor before she made it into the living room. What she saw made her smile; Kat and Ethan were cuddled together on the sofa, both asleep. She slowly made it to the sofa and carefully, not to wake them, sat down beside them. She stroked over Ethan's head and kissed his forehead, he gave a pleasant sound and snuggled closer to his sister, Alex's hand wandered further and carefully stroked a strand of blonde hair behind Kats ear. In the same moment Kats eyes flew open, but as soon as she realized who was beside her she closed them again.

"You're Home." she mumbled and smiled, her eyes were still closed.

"Yeah…did you wait for me?"

"Mhm-Hmm…Mom, I'm so sorry that I said all of that to you when you left. It was totally stupid! At the very least I should have said goodbye." Her daughter muttered tiredly.

Alex smiled at Kat and kissed her cheek. "There's nothing to be sorry about, sweetheart."

"Yes there is! I've missed you Mom." she said quietly.

"I know, I've missed you too. You can't imagine how much I've missed you both. Come on, go to bed Honey, I'm taking Ethan." Alex said as she lifted her son up and carried him up to his bed.

As she closed the door, Kat approached her and hugged her tight. "I love you Mama." She whispered and Alex kissed her, and took her face into her hands.

"I love you too, more than anything else in the world. Now go to bed." Kat nodded and closed the door to her bedroom. Alex went down to collect her bag, but before she reached it her cell phone rang again. - _Show mercy over them if I have to come back!_ \- She thought but then saw that it was Spencer who called her.

"Hello?"

"Hey Alex it's me Spencer I…I just wanted to check up on you, is everything alright?" he asked.

In the background she could hear loud laughing. "Yes I'm alright, are you guys already drunk?" she asked amused.

"No, well Garcia might be a bit tipsy, but beside that we're okay and they're playing a game but I got bored." she gave a little laugh.

"Why doesn't that surprise me?"

"Yes, well I wondered if I shou- could go over to yours?" He asked.

"If you want to, but I won't be able to hold any demanding discussion today." he chuckled.

"I don't want that, I just want to-…well I think I'll be able to be at yours in twenty minutes."

"Okay bye." she hung up and stared at her cell for another minute. Why did she say yes? She was more than tired! Reid, of all people, would have understood. But she said yes and a rapidly growing part of her was happy about that. In his presence she could let go, let the mask fall and be free, show her feelings!

 _But you're not showing him what you are feeling for him!_ ' A tiny voice in her head said. ' _She felt nothing more than friendship for him! She wasn't allowed to feel more, was she? No! He was her colleague, and he was much younger and too involved with her kids. She wouldn't risk losing the one person that was like an uncle for them! But they needed a father and not an uncle._

Alex shook those thoughts away and went to the kitchen to pour herself a large glass of Scotch, which she emptied in one gulp. She filled the glass again and also filled a glass of wine for Spencer, before she made it to the couch and sat down. She took another sip of the Scotch and enjoyed the burning sensation it left in her throat.

This case painfully reminded her of her daughter's kidnapping. 71 hours of hell in which she didn't know how her Baby-Girl was doing, if she was okay and, most important of all, if she was still alive. Alex knew exactly what it was like for a mother if her child was taken. Every hour, every minute, every second was pure torture if you knew nothing.

Alex sat there alone, thought about the Case and took a sip of her Scotch from time to time. Slowly she felt the alcohol doing its work. Maybe it was a good idea to eat something. The only thing she ate today had been an apple and a cup of coffee for breakfast, but she was too lazy to get up and search for something edible in the fridge right now. She took another sip of her Scotch as she heard a knock at the door. Alex got up and when she opened the door, the first thing she saw was a takeout bag from her favorite Thai Restaurant, which made her stomach jump in delight.

"I thought that maybe you would like something to eat too!" Spencer said, who grinned at her over the bag in his hand.

"You're my hero, Spence!"

As they ate the food he brought on the sofa and drank the wine or in Alex case the Scotch, she decided to break the silence between them.

"Why did you come over?"

"I'm coming over a lot." he answered quickly.

"Yes, but only if Kat needs 'IQ Spencer', or when one of us invites you, or if Ethan rather wants to go somewhere with you rather than with me or when you are in the need of a change of scene while you think about theories and what else… Damn you're here often." They both smiled but Reid quickly got serious.

"You know that you can always talk to me… don't you?" He knew her well enough to know that she wasn't alright, like she wanted everyone to believe she was.

"Yes, why?"

"I know how you're feeling Alex." her smile faded as she put the food away, stared at her glass, and downed it with one gulp.

"You don't know how I'm feeling." Alex said quietly.

"I do, when Maeve was abducted-"

"That's not the same Spencer… James disappeared too! God knows why, maybe he was abducted, maybe he just- hadn't the balls to leave me like everybody else would do. Over the years I've gone through every possible scenario, and it took me this long to just accept the fact that he's gone, and most likely dead. It was hard, but it was something you could manage. But you can't compare the love for a man to the love of a mother for her child! I went through 71 hours of hell when I didn't know if my only child was alive or not. What happened with James was nothing compared to this pain. You've donated your life to them! Felt them inside of you for nine months! Given birth to them! You're responsible for them every day…I would willingly go through the worst tortures this world knows to prevent them from any harm." Alex kept talking without realizing what she said.

"Spencer I'm sorry." she quickly said and looked at him apologetically.

"It's alright," Reid said.

"No, it's not alright. I shouldn't have said something like that, I'm sorry!" He took her hand in his.

"I understand what you're feeling with in regard to James. I know that I should get over what happened with Maeve. I'm trying to get over it," Reid explained to her "I saw that you talked to the parents a lot. You really helped them."

"I just told them what helped me too, the truth and that we are doing everything possible to find their daughter. Nobody can take away the fear until you're able to hold your child in your arms again." Alex gently squeezed his hand.

"You can't push yourself to get over it when you aren't. You're only able to let go, when you're ready and we are all standing behind you Spence."

"I know…but I really think I processed her death." His thumb stroked over the back of her hand as he looked deeply into Alex's teary eyes.

' _Go! Go away! Go to the kitchen, get yourself some water, put your food away… Just do something! You have to stop this before there is no turning back!_ ' Alex didn't know why she was scared like that.

She really wanted to kiss him, but they couldn't ignore it once it had happened. She was less scared of the fact that he would hurt her, but more that she would hurt him. She was good at that, but she was also worried that she wasn't enough for him. He leaned closer to her and laid his right hand on her warm cheek, while she closed her eyes.

 _'What are you doing?! Stop it now; by doing this you'll destroy the one thing meaning anything on par with or better than your relationship Maeve. You've already destroyed what you had with her! Don't destroy what you have with Alex!_ ' A voice in Spencer's head shouted. However it got quieter with every millimeter he moved closer to her. Her perfect rosy lips were so close, they could both feel each other's breath on their lips as he closed his eyes.

* * *

Are they really going to kiss ?!

You'll see next time ;)


	4. Are we Okay ?

Are we okay ?

Suddenly Alex turned her head away and laid her cheek on Reid's, so that her lips were at his ear.

"We shouldn't do this, I'm sorry…I'm not that good with scotch, I'll go upstairs-"

"No Alex, I should be sorry for do- trying this, I'll better go now."

Reid got up and left before she could say a word. Alex buried her face in her hands and sighed, hopefully she hadn't destroyed the one thing that meant so much to her. She cleaned up and took her bag upstairs, got changed and went to bed, only to fall into a restless sleep.

"Get up Mommy! Get up!"

Ethan said loudly the next morning when he ran into his mother's bedroom. Immediately Alex sat straight up in bed only to be tackled back down into her pillow by her son, who jumped up at her and pulled her into a tight hug.

"Good Moring Ethan." she said sleepily as she smiled at him.

"Come on Mommy get up!" he said and sent her his best ear to ear grin.

"Alright I'm up." together they got out of her bed and Ethan quickly pulled her down the stairs, and she could already smell Coffee and Pancakes. They walked into the kitchen where Kat stood in front of the laid breakfast table.

"Welcome home Mom!" Kat said smiling.

"Come here," she opened her arms and embraced her son and daughter tight and even fought off some tears. "That wasn't necessary sweetheart."

"Yes it was, 'cause we have the best mother in the world!"

"And I have the best children!" Alex answered and kissed Kat's cheek. "I picked the flowers for you." Ethan said proudly. She bent down and gave him a kiss on his cheek. "They are beautiful, thank you!" then they sat down to eat together.

"Did everything go well, while I was away?" Alex asked.

"Yep, I woke Ethan, took him to school, I cooked, helped with his homework and so on." Kat answered as she poured herself some coffee. Of course Kat only "forgot" to tell her mom about the party where she got drunk and had smoked again. Alex then saw something new on her daughter and blinked before she looked again. On both of Kat's ears were new earrings, on her left one were a second earlobe piercing and a Helix, and on her right one were two new earlobe piercings.

"When exactly did you plan on telling me that you got your ears pierced four more times than I allowed you to?"

"Shoot! I knew the Helix was too much, but I thought you as a Profiler would notice it earlier." Kat said with a smirk.

"I thought there was no need to pay such a close attention to your ears! Guess I was wrong, but stop now okay? Or else I'll glue your ears to your head!" Alex warned .

"Yeah, I think it's enough, for now."

Alex narrowed her eyes at that, Kat only giggled.

"Can I get something like that too Mom?" Ethan asked which made Alex stare at him.

"No!...When your older…maybe."

Ethan only grinned at that and Alex looked at Kat with her best "Stop getting such stupid ideas in the head of your little brother!" look, but the grin of her daughter only widened at that.

"I'm going to meet a couple of friends so you two have to do something on your own today…" Kat said.

"Okay what do you want to do today?" Alex asked as she looked at her son, who thought over it for a moment.

"Can we go to the park?"

"Sure, the park it is then!" She laughed as he threw his fists in the air.

After they cleaned the table together and got dressed, Alex took her clothes out of her to go bag and wanted to do the laundry. She didn't believe that Kat had washed anything, so she went to bathroom to collect the dirty clothes from there too. As she walked into the room, she walked into Kat, who flinched as she dried herself from the shower she had been taking.

"God Ma! Couldn't you knock?" she asked loud as she quickly covered her breasts with one arm, shocked that her mother walked into her liked that and that she wasn't making any appearance to leave! If she wasn't careful, her mother would be able to see the hickey at her neck, her navel and the one that was almost on her right breast.

"What? There is nothing I haven't seen before, apart from the fact that you are my daughter." Alex said calmly, as she walked over to the hamper.

"You still could've knocked!"

"Why? This is still my house Kat, technically I can walk into any room I want, without knocking."

"Are we going to discuss this now? Seriously? Get out Mom!" Kat said. Alex turned to leave when something on Kat made her stop.

"Is that a hickey at your neck…and navel?" she asked as she stood in front of her.

Quickly Kat covered the one on her bellybutton, and mentally cursed Toby for this. But she forgot that her mother would now be able to see the worst one. "Err- No, that's-" but Alex came even closer and pulled the left arm of her daughter away from her chest, so the hickey could be clearly seen.

"Kathrin Marie Blake! Could you please tell me how that hickey got there?" she asked intimidatingly.

"Do I really have to explain that to you? I'm fifteen Mom! What are you expecting me to do?"

"Well I expected that you wouldn't let a boy do a hickey on your breast! Who was that anyway?"

"You can't really think that I would tell you who did this, could you? Gee Mom!" Kat groaned embarrassed. "And just to get the facts straight, it's not on my breast it's above." she mumbled while she blushed.

"You…you would tell me if you had sex, wouldn't you?"

"Oh my God Mother! Even if I would, then clearly not while standing naked in front of you in the bathroom! Get out!" with that Kat shoved her mom out of the bathroom.

Was her daughter having sex? She was only fifteen! Okay it was legal if the boy was her age, but that didn't mean she was allowed to- No she couldn't imagine that! Suddenly Alex could understand her own mother better, Kat was still her little baby girl for God's sake!

"Mom, are you ready?" Ethan called from down the stairs with his soccer ball already under his arm waiting for her to come down. She looked at the laundry in her arms, to hell with this! She wanted to spend the day with her son.

When they got to the park Ethan quickly found some other boys to play with and Alex stood some feet away from the pitch and the other parents around. She glanced down at her cell and saw that she received a message from Spencer and her stomach turned.

_'I just wanted to apologize to you for yesterday. I promise it's not going to happen again. Are we okay?'_

Alex's heart crumpled up because she regretted that she hadn't kissed him. Alex didn't know what to do next, there was something, but…she just couldn't tell what. She didn't want that one thing to break, because they weren't good at being anything more than friends.

_'Of course we are fine! There is nothing to apologize for Spencer,'_

"Hello!"

She looked up and saw a man standing in front of her who smiled friendly at her. He was taller than her, had short blonde hair and green eyes sparkling with kindness and intelligence.

"Hi," She said and smiled back, "Can I help you?" Alex watched Ethan out of the corner of her eyes, she knew that even though someone talked to her she had to watch her son. She didn't want him to be one of her cases!

"Well, I guess no, I ha." He scratched the back of his head nervously. "I only wanted to keep you some company. You looked a little lonely from over there and I wanted to get away from those women who constantly try to flirt." he stated and Alex looked over his shoulder to see that the group of single ladies sent her looks which could kill.

"Same for me."

"Are they constantly flirting with you too?"

She gave a short laugh "No, I mean I don't like those women either, they think they are perfect, but when only one men walks by, they try to pick him up."

"And you're different?" he asked.

"Charming, but no I'm not like that. I'm not at home as much as I would like to be, so I want to spend as much time with my son as possible, before he's too embarrassed to be seen with me!" now he gave a short laugh.

"Yeah I know that! Who is yours?" for a moment Alex wasn't sure if she should answer and the man seemed to notice that. He then pointed to a blond kid that was playing with Ethan, so she wouldn't think he was some creep.

"My son Brandon is the one in the goal. You're a nice change from those over there."

"The one in the red "Flash" T-Shirt his name is Ethan," Alex said as she pointed towards her son. "Thanks…but I probably just suck at being a single mom."

"I doubt that, If you like you can call me Peter!" He said as he held out his hand.

"Alex," Alex answered as she shook his hand. "So, Peter, why did you really come over to me? I saw that you were standing on the other side of the goal so the women were only able to stare at you but never talk to you!" she asked and grinned at the perplex look on his face.

"How did you manage to psyche me out that fast?" He asked.

"Well, I'm Profiler with the FBI so a side effect of my job is to keep a closer look at my surroundings. Especially the little details, it's kinda hard to turn that off."

"Darn! Compared to that, my Lawyer job really screws up." He said in mock anger.

"It's not that great believe me. You see a lot of bad things and you are often away from home, I lost counting at how many times my son was angry at me for not being able to watch his soccer games and don't let me start with the paperwork."

"Ha! That's why I have a secretary!" he said proudly.

"Yeah, I could use one of those too." Alex replied.

That was when their boys came running up to them. "Hey, do you already want to go?" Alex asked

"No we only came to collect my ball. The other kid with the ball had to go home!" Ethan said.

"Okay, or are you heading home now too?" She asked and looked at Peter.

"Nope we-" But before he could finish the sentence the two already ran away to play again. "-have enough time…when you're going out with me?" He added.

"That's blackmailing."

"Guilty as charged, so?"

"I don't know Peter-" she couldn't really go out with him, not after last night could she? But then again, Spencer would probably never go out with her.

"Come on, one dinner and if that doesn't work out that's okay. But I can be pretty persistent." he smiled at her again and Alex thought about it, what could go wrong?

"Okay."

"Well-Oh what?" He asked a little bit surprised.

"Yes, I'd like to have dinner with you." Alex said as she smiled at him.

"Great, what about tonight, around eight?"

"Sounds perfect." she answered still smiling.

* * *

"Could you finally stop now? For the last time Mom, you look great!" Kat said as she stood in the doorframe to her mother's bedroom and shook her head as she watched how her mother fumbled with the fabric of her dress for the dozenth time. It was black, went down to her knees and the fabric, which created a nice V neck, went over her right shoulder leaving her left bare. She wore black pumps, her hair was curled up in an elegant way and she wore decent make-up.

"You think so? Maybe I should-"

"Oh No! You're going on this date with this guy, clear? Shorty's already over at Christina's and I'll be there too in a couple of minutes okay? Since Kurt, it's about time you got back into the dating game!"

 _'Even though it should be Spence and not this jerk!'_ Kat mentally added but she would make sure they would be together, even if it meant to manipulate this date her mother was about to have.

"You deserve someone nice, so enjoy the evening and see what happens. If something happens then that's great and if it doesn't then that's okay too." Kat said as she dragged her mother out of her bedroom.

"I hope you have a great time!" she said and kissed her mother's cheek.

"Thank you, "Alex said as the doorbell rang. "I'll see you lat-"

"Oh that's something you can completely forget! In the next 12 hours nothing in the world is able to get me into this house." Kat winked at her and Alex sent her a reproachful glance because her daughter thought she would sleep with Peter on their first date. She was not a saint, but she clearly wouldn't sleep with him.

When she opened the door, in front of her stood a really handsome Peter. He wore a Black suit, a white shirt and no tie and he also seemed to check her out.

"You look amazing!" he said and smiled.

"Thanks, you don't look that bad yourself." Alex answered, before he could answer Kat butted in.

"Okay folks that was my cue. I'm gone, have fun and if I were you, I would be careful with my doings, you never know who's maybe watching and-"

"Kathrin Marie Blake! If you are not over at Christi's in ten seconds you will never be out of your room until the cows come home!" Kat only grinned cheekily at a confused Peter.

"It was a nice to meet you Peter, you should get her into bed before mid-"

"Kat!"

"I'm outta here," She then squashed past Peter and ran towards Christina's house on the other side of the road, who was also spying out of her kitchen window.

"That was my teenage daughter, who you or anyone else will ever see again because she will be grounded until she's eighty or I'm dead, whatever comes first." Alex grumbled embarrassed as she locked the front door.

"Nah, don't be too hard on her. I was worse her age!" he said as he led her to his car. "She's not going to follow us, is she?" Peter asked as he opened the passenger door.

"No, she just loves to embarrass me, nothing more."

They drove to DC where he stopped at a fancy Restaurant Alex never had been to or even heard of. As they walked to the entrance he held out his arm and she quickly linked arms with him.

"Welcome!" A nice waitress behind a desk said to the couple.

"Hello I reserved for two, the name is Stein." Peter said.

"Yes I see it, please follow me!" the woman led them to their table which had a beautiful view of the garden which was decorated very romantically. Many tiny lights were in the bushes and trees around the big fountain in the middle of the backyard with swimming candles in it.

"I intended to eat outside but it's supposed to rain, so I thought I shouldn't risk anything. I hope you don't mind?"

"What? No, it's beautiful here!"

"So, I'm not beginning this forced dinner that bad then?" He asked and smiled.

"No, not bad at all!" then the waitress came already back to them.

"Would you like to order?"

"Yes I would like to have a bottle of your 2010 Chateuneuf du Pape Vielles Vignes!" He said in perfect French pronunciation, but when Alex looked at the price, she caught her breath.

"Wait! Peter! A wine costing less than 225$ is also okay."

"Believe me I have the money and I want it to be an unforgettable night. Even if it's only because of the expensive wine!" she smiled.

"Okay…"

When they had also ordered their food, they began to talk.

"So FBI huh?"

"Yes, when I'm not flying over the country catching serial killers, I'm a doctor for Forensic Linguistics at George Town and of course a Mother. In between I sometimes even sleep and breathe."

"Really? Wow…FBI Agent, Professor and Mother, that's impressive. But why FBI?" He asked really interested.

"Ah…I think it's a family thing. My father was a captain in our home town as was my older brother and my younger brother. As the only girl I always had to do my own thing so, as there was no Agent in the family, I decided to go to the academy after college."

"Do you sometimes regret that you chose this path?" she hesitated and thought for a moment. There was her mother, her brother, the abduction of her daughter, the disappearance and probably death of her husband, her kids, the Team and especially Spencer.

"No. Without this job I would be someone else and I wouldn't be in this state, not to say in this restaurant." she said truthfully.

"And why are you here then? I mean you're often away from you kids, why are you doing this?" Peter asked after taking a sip from his wine, wanting to hear more about this interesting woman in front of him.

"I don't see many good things in my job. There is so much cruelness…sometimes that much, that I think I'm going to lose the belief in the good in mankind, but then I come home to my kids or phone them to hear their voices. I hug them and I know that I did the right thing to do that job, because I'm lucky enough to be able to hug my children. And for every life we save, I know it was worth everything and they know it too. I love my job even though it can be hard and make you lose the faith in humanity…but if we don't do this and take that upon ourselves…who else is? 'cause you'd be surprised how few are trying to become an Agent or better said are able to do the job!"

"Enough of me, what kind of Lawyer are you?" Alex asked, trying to shake the images of a certain Agent who was one of the reasons she loved this job so much, out of her mind.

"Well, at least not one of kind who tries to get the bad boys you arrested out of prison. I'm a tax lawyer." Peter said and nipped at his wine.

"Yes, that would've led to a conflict of interests, if you wanted to get the people I arrest out of custody. So, why did you want to become a tax lawyer?"

"I grew up in a poor family, was the first one who would be able to attend a college and so I had to work hard to get through college. I worked as a Pizza boy and one day my employee, a really nice man, got a letter from the revenue authorities. He was an immigrant and didn't understand a word in that letter or what fiscal evasion was. So he got bankrupt and I had no job, like six other nice people and that was terrifying. What those authorities could do with a blink of an eye and so I did everything to become a tax lawyer."

They talked about different things whilst they waited for their food and also while they ate, sometimes she caught herself in expecting him to fall into a long speech about different things like Spencer always did and the longer she thought about that, the more she missed it. Alex missed it relaxing and talking about things nobody else thought were interesting or things everybody else even thought were deadly boring!

Alex had stopped while she ordered, because she thought he would say something about the bad spelling mistake in the menu. She nearly wanted him to tell her for the thousandth time, why a toast was called a toast. She missed laughing about his jokes no one else thought were funny.

Alex missed hearing what he did all day when there was no case, what books he read and over which theories he had been thinking. She missed the fact that it wasn't him with whom she sat here.

 _'Now pull yourself together damn it!'_ Alex tried and she tried it really, but now she couldn't ban Spencer from her thoughts and if she was truthful she didn't even want him to leave her thoughts.

"Are you alright?" Peter asked as he brushed his hand over hers which caused her to flinch a little and he gave her a questioning look.

"No, it's…I-I'm really sorry Peter, but this isn't going to work. I thought I was ready, but I wasn't. I'm really, really sorry, but I can't do this Peter. I'm sorry!"

Alex laid the money for her food on the table and left the Restaurant, before she would make it even worse. When she stood outside, she took a few deep breaths and walked down the side walk, it was only then, that Alex remembered that she had no car! She would have to call a cab. Just as she had her cell out of her purse, it began to rain like the world was going to end.

She cursed in several languages and ran to a roofed house entrance. That was when her look came over a street sign; this road was somehow familiar with her. Then she realized that she had been here before, at least she drove through this street, but at nights it looked different. Alex started walking, though it rained like hell and four blocks straight down the road and two blocks to the right, she stood at the front door of his apartment building and rang his doorbell. Alex probably looked like she had taken a swim.

"Hello?"

"Spencer? It's me Alex, could I come in? It's kinda cold out here." she asked shivering and whipped the rain from her face.

For a moment there was silence on the other side of the intercom. "Yes! Yes of course!" The buzzer could be heard and she stepped inside. She stepped out of her pumps and walked up the stairs to his apartment, where she knocked one time, before the door was opened. When he saw her, his eyes widened as she really did look like she had taken a swim and the next thing he noticed was how she was dressed and he had to swallow.

"God Alex, did you walk here from Alexandria in the rain?" he asked as he quickly led her inside.

"Thanks and no just a couple of blocks." she answered as she stepped inside and gave a little sneeze, which he thought was very cute.

"You're frozen Alex!" he stated quite reproachfully as he touched her bare shoulder.

"Would it be rude to ask, if I could change into some of your clothes?" she asked and her cheeks turned slight red.

"I think it would if we weren't friends!" Spencer said and smiled at her, before he led her to his bedroom. She followed him hesitantly, they knew each other long enough but neither had been in the bedroom of the other. It wasn't very big, just enough space for the surprising large bed, his drawer and of course a bookshelf, Alex really liked it.

"Here," He said as he laid a sweater and a pair of pajama pants on his bed. Both was too small for him, but looked like it could fit her just fine. "Well…I'll make us a cup of tea." he added and his cheeks turned red as he turned around to quickly leave his room as he realized she was about to change.

"Wait!" He stopped and looked at her, but Alex had turned around so he wouldn't see her face while she talked.

"Could you help me with the zipper?"

"With the-?…Oh! Y-yes 'course." He stepped closer to her and Alex stroked her wet hair aside, so he had better access to the sipper of her dress. He was very thankful that she couldn't see him swallowing as he slowly pulled the sipper down and blushed as he saw more and more. When he reached the clasp of her lace bra he suddenly stopped.

"Here you go." Reid mumbled and hurried out of his room and into the kitchen where he stood and waited for the water to boil, trying not to think of Alex half naked in his bedroom. When the tea was finished he took the two cups and made it back into the living room where Alex sat on his old tattered sofa. He placed the cups in front of her and handed her a blanket which she thankfully laid around herself.

"So how do I come to this honor?" he asked and sat down beside her.

"Well I had a Date and I ran away. Oh God I just ran from a date!" She hid her face in her hands and only seemed to realize now what she had done. But she was also not able to see, how his jaw tightened when she had started to speak, or how Spencer couldn't help himself but smile when he understood that she had run away.

"Oh man, why did you do that?" He asked trying to sound not as happy about that as he was feeling right now.

"The truth? I thought I should date again, but that was a mistake. It started real nice, he was really nice, but…something was missing, something just didn't seem to fit." Alex said, but left out the big fact that she wished it would have been him.

"If I'm interrupting you I could call a taxi no problem!" she said as she realized she just went over without asking if he had time.

"What? No! You would never interrupt something, I wasn't doing anything anyway!" he answered and saw that she was still shivering, so he moved closer to her and laid his arm around her and handed her one cup. They both could stay like this forever, they didn't want to let go of each other, as they enjoyed the others present more than anything else in the world.

But the ringing of his cellphone destroyed the moment and they forced themselves to let go of each other, even though something in the both of them, refused to let the other one go.

"Hello?...okay…I'll tell Alex...okay, see you tomorrow!" He hung up and she looked at him confused as he shifted back into the position he was before and laid his arm back around her.

"That was a new case in New York and somehow Hotch's brother has something to do with it." Spencer explained and laid his head on hers. Even though she would have to leave early tomorrow morning, she stayed with Spencer way after midnight and enjoyed his company, wishing to finally find the courage to tell him how she felt. But she had still time to tell him. She would tell him after this case she promised herself.

She couldn't intuit that then it maybe would be too late


	5. Too Late For You

**AN: The Chapter starts right before the helicopter crashes with, Hotch, Spencer and Alex. Before that, everything is the same like on the show.**

"Get yourself ready for the impact!" The pilot yelled over the sound of the falling Helicopter.

Alex gripped the handle above her head tight, while adrenalin shot through her body. In this moment, she was so scared to never see her kids again, she couldn't imagine leaving them alone. She closed her eyes and swallowed, suddenly a hand forced her to look to her right. For a brief moment, she saw Spencer's scared face, before he pulled her close and pressed his lips hard against hers.

Right now, in the fear of dying, it wasn't a sweet little kiss and Alex didn't care. She didn't care if he was her colleague, younger, or the closest thing to a father her children had, she just kissed him back and the moment their lips met, the world stopped. They forgot everything and just thought about the person they loved.

"Hold on tight!"

They separated and before either one of them could say anything; Alex just took his hand in hers and squeezed tight. When Spencer looked her in the eyes he saw fear. They then hit the ground.

She was flung to the side, which caused her head to hit the metal of the helicopter and if she wouldn't wear the helmet, this probably would've been fatal. The window beside her broke and her sight blurred because of the daze and pain. However she clung to his hand the whole time. After a couple of seconds, everything seemed to be over.

A constant pain throbbed through her head, from where she had hit the side of the helicopter and something warm tickled down her cheek. She then moved each arm and leg carefully, as she tried to move her left leg, a sharp pain shot through her body and she gazed down only to see a quite big piece of broken glass in her upper leg.

But she didn't have enough time to think about that, she was still to dazed, a little breath of wind went passed her, but she looked to her right were Spencer started to move too. By the look of it he was unharmed. But then her sight was taken by a thick, white fog and she began to lose consciousness. The last thing she felt, was how someone grabbed her and pulled her away.

The last thing Spencer felt before he fainted was, how the hand he held tight in his left was wrested.

Pain. That was the first thing Alex felt after she woke up again. There was a throbbing pain in her head, her arms and left thigh. Her head was reeling. She opened her eyes, but closed them again instantly. Everything turned around and she couldn't see straight. Alex concentrated, something was wrong, really wrong, this was not her seat in the helicopter.

* * *

She tried to move her arms and legs but she couldn't! She forced herself to open her eyes, even though everything turned. Alex looked down and tried again to move her arms, but her wrists where chained to a chair. Panic shot through her body. She tried to move her legs even though the pain in her left leg caused tears of pain to well in her eyes. _Stop_! She had to calm down or she was dead! – _You're already dead; you're somewhere in the nowhere chained to a chair, by a psychotic killer who hates you_!-

Alex looked around and saw him standing in front of her in the shadows. Curtis watched her with this look she had never liked.

"Do you like it…?" she asked and blinked a few times, as everything went into a blur again.

"What?"

"Abducting and killing people, though you not very talented." he lunged out and she flinched away, but the punch never came.

"Said the woman in chains, I didn't remember you being that direct."

"You never saw me in fucking chains before did you?" she hissed angrily and let herself fall back into the chair with resignation, there was another chain around her neck.

"Right, only cuff's as they dumped us. We were forgotten!"

"You, you were forgotten…don't compare me with you."

"Why are you doing this again? Why have you been working under this bitch again, after all she has done to us?" he asked and stepped closer.

"There never was an "us"…she atoned enough and I stopped living in the past you should try too. Stop whining around!" This time the punch came but she kept quiet.

"Don't play the moralizer! How long have you been living in the past hm? One and a half years, in which you whined around?" she knew immediately that he wasn't talking about the thing with Strauss and her whole body tensed up.

"Until you had certitude, that he was dead?" He murmured in her ear. "But you got yourself a nice toy boy, a little too young don't you think?" Alex pressed her lips together.

"We are not a couple," she hissed, "he is a good friend!"

"Keep persuading yourself about that, but he already saw the little know it all die. Is he going to cry over you too? Or is he not even going to care? That's going to be quite exciting. Are you going to regret it? That you never told him what you want? That you want him?"

"Shut up," Alex said quietly, as the first tears burned in her eyes.

"What did you say?"

"Shut up!" She repeated louder and with anger in her voice.

"Okay, let's stop talking about your toy boy and start talking about your children." Her head snapped up and she glared at him, without fear or panic, only with pure rage and hate.

"Don't you dare to talk about them!" She spat angrily at him.

"Oh…you're going to listen to what I say, 'cause you failed as a mother. Do you notice something? Your away from home again, you are not going to get out of this alive. What were your last words to them? Somebody's going to tell them that your dead, oh how they will cry!" He said and she shut her eyes tightly, tried to shut him out. – _He's just trying to manipulate you...and he is successful_!-

"Oh little Ethan loses Mommy and Daddy, how will he cry. When I come and get him and his sister; how will he cry and scream when I'm going to take his sister, Oh yeah…sweet Kathrin, beautiful like her Mother. Hmm…how much will she scream and beg? Do you think she will call out for you? Begging you to free and save her? But you'll never come and she's mine! Should I let him watch? When I take her, when she screams with every thrust-"

"Stop! Please don't…not my children please." Alex could bear it when he would torture her. She could stand the fact that he would kill her, but she couldn't bear to hear what he would do to her daughter and son. She couldn't bear hearing that he would rape Kat and make Ethan watch. He pulled her head back with her hair and was so close to her ear that she could feel his breath and his lips.

Alex tried to get out of his grip which brought up sickness in her. Curtis stood in front of her again and punched her in the face two more times and one more time in her stomach. Again she, bit down a cry of pain and just writhed in the chains and gasped for air, as blood ran from her nose. She could also taste the typical iron taste in her mouth, because her lip had split open. He pulled her head back and stepped behind her, to murmur in her ear again.

"Do you want to it stop? Do you want me to stop talking about how I'll take her over and over and over again? So long, until she begs me to kill her?"

"Yes, please, stop. Don't hurt them." Alex begged and she knew she had signed her death penalty.

"Would you die for your children when I wouldn't do anything to them?" he asked.

"Yes, yes I would." Alex answered quietly but without hesitating, without a quaver in her voice. She would die for her children because the love of a mother went beyond death.

"Are you sure? Then repeat it loud and clear for the whole world to hear." Curtis said and pointed to the wall opposite of her. She then noticed the lens. The camera had probably been filming the whole time. What she didn't know was that the film was directly played on Garcia's monitor, who sat crying beside Kevin who held her hand. But Alex still had some pride, sat straight up and looked directly in the lens of the camera.

"I would die for my children; you can't take that from them or from me because I love my kids. I would do and give anything I have for them and more…I would-" she stopped to correct herself. She knew in this room, on this chair, with this man who stood behind her, she would die. "-I will give my life for them!" Alex said as she kept looking at the lens.

"Don't you want to think about that for a second?"

"No, I love them more then my life, I'm sorry that I failed as a mother, but if it takes my life to save them from any harm. I'll give it for them."

"You had the choice, if you ask me that was a real stupid choice." He said and she could hear a little Plop sound, before something little fell on the floor.

"You don't understand this, you don't understand the love of a mother for her child." Alex said and looked him in the eyes. She wanted him to look at her. She wanted him to be haunted by it.

"Maybe-" He pushed the test tube into her mouth with a little more force than needed and he put his hand over her nose, so she had no choice but to swallow the liquid. It burned at her open lip and left a disgusting, bitter taste. Because of his actions, she choked and felt the same burning in her lungs as she struggled for breath whilst coughing. Maybe if she had more than a coffee this morning, she would've had more time, but she knew like this it would be in her body within no time.

"But." He continued as he walked up to the camera. "What I also don't understand is, how parents can be so naïve. When you're dead, who's going to stop me from taking your kids?"

"No! No, you said you would leave them alone!" Alex said aloud as she tried to get free once more. No, no, no, no! She had been fooled by him. It had been his plan from the beginning that she would consent in killing herself! He knew she would sacrifice herself for her children.

"First, I never said that I would leave them alone and even if I had…it would have been a lie. Oh and this is my special creation just for you. It's going to kill you slowly and quite painful, but you'll stay alive long enough, so that your friends will see you die." He said as he left.

She would die here and he would get her children. Alex didn't scream and she didn't sob. The more upset she would get, the smaller was the chance for her to get out of here somehow and save her children. Beside Kat and Ethan, she thought about Spencer, while the first tears ran down her cheeks. He had kissed her because he felt something for her. Of course it could have been just a panic reaction to the crash, but she hoped it was love. But Alex knew one thing for sure; she regretted not telling him how she felt.

Slowly but noticeably, it was getting warmer and warmer. Her arms and legs began to become numb and her head began to get heavier, while a strong pain went through it. Alex's sight started to blur again and not because of the tears, which had already stopped floating by now. Her mouth was so dry and she was so thirsty. She coughed and it was difficult to breathe. She closed her eyes and hoped that it would be over soon.

* * *

When Spencer started to wake up, he heard the rotations of rotor blades of another helicopter, in front of him. He could see that the pilot and Hotch were beginning to move.

"Hey, ya alright?" Morgan asked from outside as he pulled the door open. Spencer then remembered his last moments before he lost consciousness. He had kissed Alex and held her hand while they crashed. His head snapped to his left, but he only saw JJ and Morgan with their flashlights.

"Where is Blake?" JJ asked. He jumped up and hurried out of the wreck, as if he expected her to stand or lay somewhere outside.

"Alex?" He yelled, looking around in panic "Alex?".

"Here is blood," Morgan said. Then he picked something up from the bottom of the wreck. It was some kind of can.

"He has her!" Spencer said as he looked horrified at JJ. Now their colleagues arrived with the vehicles and he and Hotch quickly insured that they were fine and made it to the SUV's.

"Hurry! He could have taken her so many times. He wants to do a show like he did with Erin!" Hotch said as they got into a car.

Rage pulsated through Reid, like it was his blood. If that man hurt her, he would kill him! He would kill him with his bare hands! Spencer had only been that furious in his life when Diane had abducted Maeve. He couldn't lose her too, not her, not now! He had kissed her without the chance of telling her how he felt! Alex, Kat and Ethan all meant so much to him.

They were his family. Of course the others were too, but it was different with the three of them. He had loved Alex for so long, he wanted to proof to her that he was there for her, that she could trust him, that he was the right one for her! Spencer was the happiest man on earth when they were together.

"Spence?" JJ asked worriedly as she laid a hand on his shoulder.

He looked at her with pain in his eyes, but before he could answer, Garcia's voice could be heard.

"Oh my God! Guys you have to hurry. I just got a video. He chained Alex to a chair and is torturing her!" she said and they could hear that she cried.

"That son of a bitch!" Morgan cursed and speeded even more.

"Oh no, no! He convinced her to sacrifice herself for her children! He forced her to drink the adulterated PMA." Garcia said.

His heart champed together. No! They had to be in time! They had to save her, she couldn't die!

"Garcia send an ambulance! They need Benzodiazepine, Phenytoin, Alpha- and Beta blockers, Nifedipine and a cold saline solution! That's the only thing that will be able to save her!" He said.

"I will." She answered and did as she was told.

As they reached the house, they all got out of the car as fast as possible. "Morgan, JJ you will go in at the front with the others. Reid you'll come with me!" They moved quickly, but crouched around the house. As they passed the Pick-Up Hotch looked inside but saw nothing. At the backside of the house they saw an old door in the ground, leading to a basement. Hotch pulled the door open and shone inside, but saw again nothing. No-one saw the shadow disappearing behind a tree.

They slowly went down the stairs and found themselves in a messy room. They searched but no one was here. Behind a big shelf Spencer saw a faint light. He looked over to Hotch, who nodded. They moved forward and stood in some sort of mini lab. In front of them stood JJ and Morgan who shook their heads, all eyes went to the last doorway which was dark like the night. Morgan and JJ moved first and nearly oversaw the metal door. They waited a moment until everyone was ready, then Morgan kicked the door down.

In the middle of the room they saw Blake, unconscious and chained to the chair she sat on but what worried them more, was that she showed no reaction on their entrance and just continued to hang lifelessly in the chains.

"Alex!" Reid ran towards her and lifted her head as he saw the chain around her neck.

"Alex, can you hear me? Hey?" then finally she opened her eyes, which seem to cost her a lot of energy.

"You're…here…" She murmured as her eyes fluttered shut again.

"Morgan, help the others with the search. JJ help me get the chains of off Blake and Reid keep her awake!" Without hesitating they went after their task. While Spencer's heart started to hammer in his chest, he needed to save her! He wouldn't let her die!

"Hey Alex, stay with us okay? Stay with me, we're going to get you out of here. The ambulance is on its way!" he said and forced her to look at him. He noticed how hot her skin was. They didn't have much time left.

"Spence…I-…I can't breathe…it-it…" She trailed off and tried to close her eyes again, but Spencer continued to forces her, to look at him.

"Look at me! Look at me Alex!".

"I can't-…it's so-so hot…" Speaking seemed to only strain her even more then to keep her eyes open and she looked around hectically and couldn't focus on him or anything else.

"We're almost finished!" JJ said when she got her left leg out of the chain while she pressed her right hand on the wound in Alex thigh.

"You hear? We'll be out of here in no time and I promise you Alex, everything is going to be fine! But you have to promise to stay awake, Alex. Think of Kat and Ethan, they need you!" When he said this, she let out a heartbreaking whimper and especially Spencer's heart shattered at the sound.

"I…I failed Spence…"

"What? What do you mean?" he asked confused and took her free left hand in his.

"As a Mother…I-I wasn't there…t-they needed me! He'll hurt them" she whimpered.

"No! No, that's not true Alex, you did not fail! Look at me. You. Are. A. Great. Mother! And you won't let him hurt them and I won't let him hurt them you hear? We will protect them Alex."

"JJ, go get some cold towels from the kitchen! We need to cool her down until the ambulance gets here!" Hotch said as he had only three more chains to open.

JJ nodded and ran out of the room and up the stairs. Spencer was not the only one that was worried about Alex. They all were, but she herself was nearly as worried as him. She liked Alex a lot. She seemed to understand her in some ways the others couldn't, as she was also a mother and an Agent. She had "lost" another friend and colleague before her and surprisingly, befriended with her really quick. Yes she was not the sister Emily had been for her, but she was close on becoming so and JJ wouldn't lose her too!

She quickly searched through the kitchen and when she finally found some towels, she threw them in the sink and turned the cold water on. When they were completely soaked, she turned the water off, wrung them out and ran back down, where Morgan slipped into the room right before her.

"We need to get out of here now! There is a bomb in the other room!" he said a little out of breath.

"Here are the towels!" JJ said, as Hotch threw the last chain in a corner of the room.

"She's free, come on!" carefully but quickly, he and Spencer lifted Alex up and then everyone could hear a loud "click" and the door swung close.

Morgan jumped forward, but he was too late. He tried to open the door with all the strength he had, but there was no way he could open it again.

"No chance!"

"No! We have to get here out of here or she'll die for sure!" Spencer said with panic and anger in his voice.

Immediately Hotch tried to call for help over the radio, but there was no signal. They were trapped, doomed to wait for their death and forced to see how one of them died a cruel and merciless death.

They laid Alex carefully on the ground with her head on her own and Spencer's bullet proof vest, her breath went fast and short and she panicked more as it was harder and harder for her to breath.

"We will get out of here Alex…I promise." Spencer tried to calm her down and stroked over her head.

"I-I…S-Spence I can't see, I c-can't see you! E-everything is dark." she murmured and panicked even more. Spencer continued to stroke over her head and squeezed her hand with his.

"I'm here! I'm with you, I promise I won't leave you, I'll stay with you!" He said as his brain worked hard. He needed to do something, or she was dying in his arms!

"Help me to undress her!" He said and began to fumble with the buttons on her blouse.

"What?" JJ asked loud and a bit confused.

"When we undress her and lay her on the cold ground, with the towels on top, it might be enough to cool her down until-".

"Until what? Until we all are going to explode?" Morgan asked.

"Until someone gets us out of here. Damn it! She's dying!" Spencer yelled angrily back. Then the others helped him to undress her, until Alex was only in her bra and panties. They then laid the cold towels over her.

"Spence," Alex mumbled quietly.

"What?"

"You have… protect Kat and Ethan p-please. I beg you, promise me ok?...Promise m-me, that you'll protect them." She murmured and gripped his collar tight and brought him closer to her, before she gripped his hand tight as if her life depended on it "Please." Her last word was barely a whisper.

He looked up and saw JJ's sad and worried face and JJ saw the despair and pain in his eyes. The thought, that there was more going on between the two then they pretended to be, like with Strauss and Rossi, came up in her. But she laid her hand on his and Alex's.

"We will protect them, until you are able to do so again, we promise!" she answered her friend and Alex's gaze landed on her and JJ prayed that they would survive this night so they could hold their promise.

"You hear? You'll be okay again!" Morgan agreed with his friend.

"Tell t-them that I love them…so much, please Spence…" and her eyes closed, tired of fighting a fight, she knew she had lost, as soon as she had woken up.

"No, Alex! Stay with me, you can't do this to them, Alex please no! You can't do this to me! You have to keep fighting, wake up, please wake up!" He shouted at the one woman he loved with all his heart. He shook and begged her, tears forming in his eyes, but her eyes stayed closed.


	6. A Few Minutes

A few Minutes

In this terrifying moment, they heard a creak and saw a figure standing in the doorway.

"Are you alrig-…Oh god," Rossi wanted to ask if everyone was alright but when he saw Alex on the ground, he couldn't finish the sentence.

"The ambulance is already here! Get her out of here!" He said.

With a speed and strength nobody expected from the slight skinny doctor, Spencer lifted Alex up in his arms and carried her out of the room nearly running. For one second the others were too surprised to follow his actions, but then they all got up and ran out. As they got out of the house, they saw that Reid already laid Alex on the stretcher of the ambulance.

"Run everybody and get down, there is a bomb in the basement! Now! Run and get down!" Hotch yelled and everyone looked for a shelter.

"Where is Rossi?" JJ asked and Morgan and Hotch looked around.

"Dave?! Dave?!" Hotch yelled.

"He was right behind me! Why would he go back in?" Morgan said, but then Rossi sprinted out of the house and the ambulance took off, leaving a broken Reid behind.

Everyone was distracted by the explosion of the house. They all got down and while the others watched as the house burned down. The team watched as the ambulance took off, and they were fighting again for the life of one of them too soon. Hotch walked over to Reid.

"Which hospital is she being taken to?" He asked.

"Lewisgale Hospital," He replied, his voice hollow.

"Okay, we will go there. Garcia is going to inform her kids and someone's going to bring them-"

"Alex taught them to be extremely careful, Kat is not dumb she would never trust someone she does not know when Alex is away, not to say that she would never go with them!"

"Okay, then Garcia is going to pick them up personally." Hotch said and dialled the number.

"Hey boss, is everyone okay? How's Blake?" She asked instantly.

"We don't know yet…but it will get scarce…Garcia you have to notify her children and emergency contact and bring them to Lewisgale Hospital-"

"Okay I'll send-"

"No, Reid said that her daughter won't trust anybody she doesn't know. You'll have to pick them up personally; certainly Blake has talked about us. She at least knows our names…"

"Okay I'll be on my way," Hotch hung up and they drove away.

When they reached the hospital, they sat in an open waiting room and it was like a Déjá-vu. Just like when the doctors had fought for Emily's life. Reid sat a few feet away from the others and looked at his hands; JJ saw this and sat down beside him.

"Spence?" She asked, but he showed no reaction.

"Spence…what is it? Why…is this shaking you up so much?".

"She…she has always understood me…she knows me better than I do myself and I have known her longer then you have. I was with her when her husband disappeared and when they pronounced him dead after they hoped for one and a half years that he would come back. I was there when she, her eleven year old daughter and her barely two year old son, who never even met his own father, buried an empty coffin…She understood me when Maeve died, she was there for me. I know you all were and I'm very thankful for that, but with her it was something different…and-and…I love her," He said.

"What?" JJ asked more than surprised.

"I love her…I love it when she's with me, when she talks to me...when we sit together on her or my couch and simply do nothing, when she's only in the same room with me…then…everything seems better. I could snap every time when she goes out with another man and I could kill him if he hurts her, or blackmails her to move to Boston with him or he would leave her…When I'm not able to see her, then that's not a good day and…she laughs about my jokes you know…" For a second, a little smile washed over his lips.

"Spencer…please don't take this the wrong way, I think it's wonderful but….don't you think it's possible that you feel for her this way because-"

"I'm looking for a replacement for Maeve?" He said and JJ didn't answer.

"Shall I tell you the truth?...Maeve, was more a replacement for Alex then the other way around. I felt this way about Alex before Maeve but…I knew I never had any Chance to be with her, she had a husband, two kids. She is beautiful, intelligent and when I'm with her, then I'm able to be who I am…but who am I? She would never go out with me…"

"Spencer! Don't make yourself worse then you are! Every woman would call herself lucky having you. You should tell her how you feel!" JJ said.

"What if…what if I never get the chance to tell her that I love her…right before we crash landed, I kissed her and she kissed me back. What if I'll never be able to tell her why I kissed her?" He he finally looked her in the eyes, it nearly broke JJ's heart.

"Guys?!" They all knew this voice, it was Garcia and they knew what this meant, her kids were here.

They all got up and stood on the hallway, Garcia hurried over to them. Behind her were Alex children, first they saw her daughter.

Kathrin was about 5'3" tall and looked like a younger version of Alex with blond hair, which was really messy like she only got out of bed, which was confirmed by her clothes. She only wore a pair of wide, dark blue Boxer shorts, (it was a miracle that they remained on her slender hip) a black Top and grey socks nothing else, no shoes, no bra, no jacket. The little boy beside her was also in his pyjamas which had superheroes all over it, but he had on some shoes and a jacket. Except for the dark hair and the eyes, he must look more like his father, but they had one thing in common, the expression of fear on their faces.

"Uncle Spence!" Kat called and ran past Garcia pulling her little brother with her and Spencer embraced them tight.

"What happened Spencer? What happened with Mom?" She asked.

"Kat-…" He couldn't say it.

"Kathrin...I'm Agent Hotchner could you come with me for a moment?" He asked as he saw that Spencer wasn't able to tell them that their mother had been poisoned and may not survive.

"Yes, Ethan stay with Spencer okay buddy? I'll be right back," Kat said and followed Hotch a little down the hallway.

"Where is Mommy?" Ethan asked.

"Ethan…at work something happened and your Mom needs the help of the doctors," Spencer said and sat down with him.

"But she's alright, isn't she?"

"Yeah…" He said and JJ sat down beside Ethan, whilst Garcia asked Morgan and Rossi quietly how Alex was doing.

"Hello Ethan, my name is JJ." She said and smiled at him.

"You're working with Mommy and Uncle Spence, aren't you?"

"Right, do you like superheroes?" She asked and Ethan nodded.

"I too have a son and he likes superheroes too. Which one is your favourite?" She asked.

"I like Flash the most, but Spiderman is really cool too!"

"Henry likes Spiderman too!" She then looked over to where Kat was standing with Hotch. Kat looked at him with an unfazed expression on her face, but it could be clearly seen that her jaw was clenched tight. She then nodded and came back with a shocked look on her face, but she too looked like she couldn't believe what she just heard. JJ quickly got up so Kathrin could sit beside her brother.

"Can we see Mommy now?" Kat pressed her lips together and kneeled in front of her little brother.

"Ethan…today…something happened to Mom, she's not doing so well…the Doctors are trying to help her…but…but maybe they won't be able to do so," Kat said.

"But she's going to be alright again, isn't she?" He asked and his bottom lip began to tremble and then Kat sat beside him again, to pull him on her lap and rocked him slightly back and forth and they all could hear how he cried into the shoulder of his big sister, who began to hum a song. Only Kat, Spencer and Ethan knew that it was the lullaby Alex had used to sing to them when they had been toddlers. They watched as also Spencer tried to soothe him and they all could see how hard Kat tried to hold her own tears back, but they couldn't do anything to less their pain and fear.

"Hey Buddy…everything is going to be okay again, I promise…Ok?" She kissed his cheek and after a while he calmed down, but stayed cuddled up against his sister. Together they waited and slowly JJ worried about Kat, she clearly forced herself to stay awake. She saw in Kat's eyes that she wished for nothing more than a shoulder to cry on herself.

"Don't you want to rest for a while?" She asked and sat beside her while she looked at the sleeping form of her little brother.

"I can't…what if something happens with Mom?" She asked quietly.

"You don't have to torture yourself Kathrin, " JJ said.

"You can call me Kat, no one calls me Kathrin…Do you think…do you think Mom will be alright again?".

"Yes, of course she will!" JJ gave Kat a small smile; as she pulled Ethan up again as he dared to slip off of her lap again.

"Should I take him for a second?" Spencer asked and before Kat answered, he had already placed him on his own.

"Thanks," Kat mumbled.

Then a doctor approached them. "Colleagues of…Alex Blake? Did you contact her family?" He asked. Before someone could answer him Kat stood up.

"I'm her daughter…except for my Grandfather and Uncle, who live far away, there is nobody and her emergency contact is in Los Angeles because of her work. " She spoke with a firm voice, even though they all could hear the hint of fear.

"Okay, please follow me."

"You can say it in front of them all, they're family too,"

"Okay, I won't lie to you, we had great luck a few minutes later and we would've had no chance but because of you actions and the information for the paramedic we could save your mother and colleague from a certain death. She's now is stable, but she's still not over the worst of it. We can only say that she will recover when…if she awakes. She was really lucky to have colleagues like you. If you want, you can go to her now, follow the hallway then to the right, Room 187"

Even though she was still in danger, they were all relieved but the most relieved ones were Kat and Spencer.

"Come on, go to her…" Hotch said and Kat nodded. She walked to Spencer and woke Ethan.

"Hey Shorty…we can go to Mom now-"

"Is she okay?"

"She is doing better Ethan, but when we go to see her, she will be asleep. You don't have to be scared okay?" She said and he nodded and she took his hand as they walked down the hallway.

"Don't want to go with them?" JJ asked Spencer.

"I can't-"

"Yes you can, come on, I'll walk with you." She said and slightly dragged him with her. When they were a round the corner, they saw how Kat opened the door and Ethan walked in but Kat didn't move. As they stood beside her, they saw the tears streaming down her face.

"I-I can't!" She turned around and ran away.

"Kat!" Spencer wanted to go after her, but JJ stopped him.

"I'll go, stay with Ethan!" She said and ran after Kat.

It also cost him much to walk into the room. The only thing that made him go in there was Ethan and he shouldn't be alone, when Alex was like this. As he saw her, a sharp pain went through his chest. He saw how she laid there, with all the tubes and instruments, the wounds on her face, but worst…so lifeless.

"Uncle Spence?" Ethan asked.

"What is it?"

"Mommy is going to wake up, isn't she?"

"Yes…" he sat down and pulled him onto his lap.

"You are going to stay, aren't you Uncle Spence?"

"Of course I'm going to stay." He said and Ethan leaned back while he watched his mother.

"Can I ask you something?" He asked.

"Sure, what do you want to know?"

"Could you be my new dad?" Ethan asked outright.

"What?! Why do you want me to be you Dad?" Spencer asked surprised and slightly flattered.

"Because you're doing all the things with me the others do with their dads and I love you!"

* * *

'Damn it! Alex daughter was really fast!' JJ thought as she ran around the corner only to see no trace of the teenager. She slowed down and nearly overheard it, a sobbing coming from a lady's restroom next to her. She opened the door and on the ground at the opposite wall sat Kat, her legs at her chest and she buried her face in her knees. While she cried her eyes out, JJ closed the door, sat beside her and hugged her close while the fifteen year old girl finally showed how she was really feeling, she had only tried to stay strong for her little brother, which was way too much for her to handle.

"I-I can't…I can't see her like this, not like this." Kat sobbed and JJ rubbed over her left arm.

"That's okay Kat,"

"But I have to-"

"You don't have to do anything, honey! You're allowed to cry, to be scared, to show that your scared. You don't have to force yourself to pretend to be strong Kat!" She said as the girl continued to cry.

"She's my mom…I can't lose her…she's my mother, she's the only one I have left."

"I know and you are not going to lose her Kat. She is going to be alright again."

"How can you be so sure about that?!" She asked.

"Because I know your mother, she loves you and your brother very much…"

"I'm scared…I'm always scared when she's gone, it all comes up from the time when dad died…as Garcia came…I knew something happened, that maybe I would never see Mom again."

"You have to keep believing that she will be fine!" JJ said.

"I stopped believing in anything when I was ten. When my Dad disappeared, we waited and believed for one and a half years that he was alive and would come back to us. I wished and prayed that my Pa would come back. Then they pronounced him dead and after that nobody cared what happened to us…Ethan and Mom are the only ones I have left…and maybe Ma is dying,"

"No matter what Kat…we are all going to be there for you and Ethan okay? Now we know you a little and you and your little brother are part of the family now and we're going to help you." JJ said truthfully.  
"Thank you…I'm just so scared…I'm just so scared," at that, JJ pulled her a little closer to her.

"I know and I also know that in the moment, I can't do or say anything to make this fear go away, or make this any easier…but you're not alone," JJ said smoothly.

"I-I think I can go to her now…" Kat stated and wiped the tears away.

"You sure? You know that you don't have to do this,"

"But I want to, even Ethan is with her." She said.

"But you know exactly what's going on and in which state she is in, he doesn't!"

"I still want to!"

"Okay then, let's go…and after that we'll get you something to wear. You're nearly frozen!" JJ said as they both got up. Together they walked back to the room and saw the team standing in front of it, when they saw them, Garcia smiled at her and laid a hand on her shoulder. Kat took a deep breath and JJ would let her hand slide down her back.

"Thank you," She whispered and walked into the room.

Kat sat down on the other side of her mother's bed and took her hand in hers. They could see how she flinched probably because the skin of her mother was still cold.

"Mom? It's me Kat...Ethan, Spence and the others are here too…I don't know if you can hear me Mom, but if you can…I just wanted to say that I love you…your-you're the best mom in the world a-and I promise, that when you're awake…I will tell you every day…I promise I'll try to be a better daughter, even though I sure will have my teeny moments…but you have to promise something too, that you will wake up and get better soon…'C-Cause I need you, Ethan needs you, Spence needs you…I don't want to lose you like Daddy, please Mama…please, I can't get through this once again you and Ethan are the only family I have left and Spence…and maybe your team too, they are really great…but that's way you have to get well soon, we all don't want to lose you…I love you Mama," When Kat finished she was crying and Morgan had to hug Garcia who was crying too, because they all had heard what she had said.

Then they saw how Spencer got up and sat beside Kat. He pulled Ethan on his lap again and Kat leaned on his shoulder to cry silently.

"We should give them some privacy," Rossi said and they all agreed.

"You can drive home now…we all should get some rest," Hotch said while they walked to the open waiting room again, but Garcia stopped.

"What about Kat and Ethan? They can't stay here all night!" she said.

"She's right, they are KO and should go to bed. They can't do anything now," Morgan said.

"That is their mother in there! We can't drag them away; kick them out in Alexandria and say goodnight. Maybe someone is taking you to Alex tomorrow! Kat's going to try to manage everything and will disregard the fact that she is far too young for this," JJ said.

"I could take them in for the night, I life the closest to here. I have enough space and tomorrow I can take them to their home, pack some things and bring them here!" Rossi said.

"Sounds good," They all turned around and saw Reid standing there, before one of them could say a word he held his hand up.

"Don't…but they should say goodbye, they really could stay at yours? I can take them with me, no problem." but Rossi shook his head.

"Of course they can no problem and there is not enough space for all of you at your apartment." He said.

"I will get them," He said and left.

"Kat?" He asked quietly and she looked up.

"What?"

"Kat, come we're going." He said.

"I will not leave her!" She said.

"Kat, there is nothing you can do right now… You can stay at Rossi's place and we will come back tomorrow…Ethan's asleep again, come on."

"You can take him, I will not leave her and you can't make me!" Tears streamed down her cheeks. "I-I can't leave her alone Spencer…what if she…she decides to let go…"

"Never. Ever. Say something like that about your mother again! Do you understand me? Your mother sacrificed her life for you, because she loves you! She'd never give up because of the two of you and she would be the first one to drag you out of here. Kat, we are going to come back right in the morning…the staff here isn't going to let you stay with her anyway." Kat looked back to her mother and little brother.

She walked to her bed and kissed her mother's forehead.

"We are going to be back tomorrow, I promise…I love you Mom." She then lifted Ethan up in her arms and carried him outside.

They said their goodbye's and Rossi drove them to his house. On the way there Kat nearly fell asleep too, she was so tired but she couldn't sleep, something in her forced her to stay awake.

When they were at his house, Kat took Ethan in her arms with her last bit of strength and carried him inside.

"Lay him down on the couch; we'll be right back, Reid?" Rossi asked and Spencer nodded in agreement.

They went into the kitchen and spoke quietly.

"Tomorrow we're going to drive to Alexandria and pick up something for Alex. They will also dress up and we're going to drive back to the hospital,"

"Sounds like a plan…" Spencer answered and Rossi thought that he had never seen him looking that exhausted, not even with Maeve missing.

"Come on, we can all use a few hours of sleep." He said and went back to the living room with Spencer right behind him, both smiled at what they saw. Kat and Ethan were cuddled together on the couch and both were sound asleep.

"Well…I guess they are a step ahead of us. Why did she never really talked about them, I mean she never even told us their names?" He then asked.

"That's for her to tell you, but it has nothing to do with you guys at all. Really, she trusted you faster the she herself or I expected, but there is a fear a mother can't get over once it has happened."

"I understand, hopefully she will recover soon. Make yourself comfortable Spencer, you know where the guestrooms are. Goodnight," Rossi said and threw a blanket over Kat and Ethan.

* * *

Fifty hours, she sat at the hospital bed of her mother and held her hand in hers, hoping that she would wake up. Also Christina, Andy, Miranda and some of the team except Hotch and Morgan had come by also. Of course she had phoned her Grandpa and Uncle but due to bad weather they were not able to come. Ethan was outside with Christina, as nobody wanted him to stay that long and stare at his "lifeless" mother, even though he was real sad and understood that it was very serious.

"Here…I thought you'd also want one," Spencer said as he sat down beside her and handed her a coffee cup.

"Thanks," Kat mumbled in response and took the hot cup in her cold hands. Even though they stopped the cold saline solutions and the skin of her mother wasn't that cold any more that she was reminded of a corpse every time she touched her, it was still cold enough to cool her hands down too.

"The Doc was here while you've been away…he says that he had never seen something like this before and that there is a good chance, that she might wake up today.".

"That's good,"

"You know, for a few hours I thought we were going to be orphans. It was the same it was with Dad, I thought we would be alone." Kat stated and stared at the cup in her hands, unable to look into his or her mother's face.

"Kat, as long as I'm here and alive, you'll never be alone and the rest of the team, is going to be there for you too!" He said.

"Thank you…Spence. Can I ask you something?" Kat asked and chewed on her bottom lip like her mother. It looked like she was slightly embarrassed about what she was about to ask.

"Sure, what is it?".

"Ah…how long have you been in love with mom?".

He looked at her with surprise, how could she know? Could she really know or was she just guessing? Was it that obvious?

"I-I…ah…" He stammered and Kat shook her head slightly amused.

"Don't even try to deny it Spence, I saw you two on the sofa, not for the first time but as you nearly kissed, it was pretty clear…and I have to admit. I don't think it would be a that bad idea, if you guys would get together. Of course I don't mean that you have to, but…you're the closest thing to a father we ever had." She stopped.

"Kat, I don't know what to say. You really see me like that? It wasn't clear to me...but I don't know if that would be such a good idea, I mean… we are colleagues and look at me. What do you want with me?" He asked.

"You're great Spence! You're Family and…god Ma is going to kill me, but I know she likes you too! She ran off that date with this Peter because she would rather be with you. I mean you don't have to…I just want you to tell her. I don't want you to never say it, and regret it one day that you never tried, ok." He sighed. She was right.

"Okay I'll tell her." He left out the fact that he had kissed Alex.

"Wait a minute…how did you know that your mom ran from that date? She was with me until two in the morning and she had to leave early for the case. She couldn't and clearly wouldn't have told you?!" He asked and Kat's cheeks turned red.

"Well…maybe I followed her with a couple of friends…" She admitted.

Spencer laughed, "Why would you do that?"

"I wanted to make sure that if the date did go well…that there wouldn't be a second one," She said and took a sip of her coffee only to pull a disgusted face.

"Gross, too much sugar, that's yours!" She said as he rolled his eyes has they switched the cups.

Then the door opened and Ethan and Christina came in.

"And?" The woman asked.

"The doc said that she could wake up any minute," Kat said and pulled Ethan on her lap.

"Just a little more waiting and then Mommy's awake again," She whispered in his ear as she placed the coffee cup aside and rubbed her eyes. In the last two days she had only slept four hours because of that she thought. She wasn't seeing right as the eyes of her mother started to flatter open, while her thump stroked over her mother's hand. This was really happening, her mother opened her eyes!

"Mom?! Oh my god, I think she's waking up!" Kat said loudly and gently pushed Ethan from her lab so she could sit up.

"You sure?" Christina asked and looked down on her best friend.

"Yes! Look! Mom can you hear me?" Kat asked then.

"I'll get a doctor," Spencer said and ran out. Then they all saw it, Alex really opened her eyes!

"W-where-…?" Her voice broke. She blinked a few times, but still everything was in a blur. But before Kat could say something, Reid came back with a doctor who quickly examined her.

"Mrs. Blake, I'm Doctor Schreiber you're in the Lewisgale Hospital," He said after he made sure she was okay.

"What ?...Why am I in a hospital?" Alex asked hoarsely and then she saw her kids, Christina and Spencer. What had happened to her?

"Kat, Ethan…" She said, as she saw the tears on their cheeks. She didn't care what exactly happened, she wanted to hug her children. What she did seconds later, even though it was exhausting and a little painful.

"We've missed you Mom!" Kat said and buried her face in her neck while Ethan nearly laid on top of her and cried on her chest. What had happened to make her children that terrified?!

"What happened…I can't…" She looked over at the doctor.

"You have been exposed to dangers amount of adulated PMA Mrs. Blake, you've been very, very lucky-" She looked at Reid, as if she expected him to say that this was a bad joke. "But I think your family will explain everything, just don't overdo it right now. I'll be back in a couple of minutes," He said with a smile and left.

"What happened?" She asked again.

"What is the last thing you remember?" Spencer asked.

"I-I only remember…that we were about to fly to Curtis…" A sharp pain went through his chest, she did not remember their kiss.

"He knew that we were coming…and how, he got control over our helicopter had crashed it- No one was really hurt ...but he abducted you and forced you to take the PMMA like with Strauss…We found you in time, but he trapped us and if it wasn't for Rossi we wouldn't be here. The ambulance brought you here and they were able to save you," He explained.

"I'm so glad your awake Mom!" Kat said and smiled at her.

"We all are," Christian said and squeezed Alex right hand slightly.

"It's great to see that you are awake again," Alex smiled.

"I'm really glad too Mommy!" Ethan said and snuggled closer to her. She stroked his hair and kissed his forehead. They all enjoyed the moment when Alex was awake again, then Kat saw that Spencer still stood a few feet away.

"Well I should go and phone Grandpa that you are awake and I'm hungry like hell. Damn I forgot my wallet today, Christi?"

"Sure, come," She stood up and at took Ethan with her.

"We'll be back soon, come on Shorty…Love ya Mom." She kissed her cheek and they left the room, so Spencer and Alex were alone.

He sat down beside her and took her hand in his.

"Spence…you left something out didn't you?"

"A little…I didn't want to say it in front of Kat and Ethan…he only gave you the PMA when you said you would take it " now she looked confused. "In order to save Kat and Ethan from him. He threatened to take them and-and to rape Kat and let Ethan watch- but he's dead! He couldn't lay a hand on them!" She nodded shocked.

"And during the crash no one was hurt?" She asked.

"No, the pilot has a sprained wrist and we all have some bruises but it got you worst. You had a piece of broken glass in your thigh, a laceration and two rips are contused but that's also because the son of a bitch beat you…I thought I would lose you…you nearly died…I'm so glad they were able to save you," He said and she squeezed his hand a little.

"I'm not dying that fast, you know. Sometimes I can also read you like an open book, what is it?" He saw that she was tired.

"…Nothing, really it's nothing! The others are going to come by too I think. Of course they know Kat and Ethan now and they love them, you don't need to worry…maybe you do, but that's because Garcia thinks that Ethan is like Henry and Jack the number one on her sweetest boys list,"

"They…don't hate me because I didn't trust them enough to even tell them the names of my children?"

"No, I explained a little bit to them. They completely understand you, though they would've liked to meet them earlier. They all think that you have great kids,"

She smiled, "I know."

* * *

Two days later she was released from hospital and Spencer took her home. When they arrived there, he carried her bag inside. As they stepped into the spic and span cleaned up living room, they saw Kat and Ethan.

"Welcome home Mom, " Kat said and Ethan already ran up to her. Alex kneeled down and hugged him tight.

"I've missed you Mommy…"

"I've missed you too, Sweetie."

"And what about me? Am I just the neighbour next door? Well then I'll hug Spence." Kat asked in mocked jealousy and walked past her and Ethan up to the grinning Spencer.

"Kathrin…"

"Oh please don't call me that!" She instantly protested when she hugged her mother too.

"That's your name Kat-hrin." Alex said in amusement and Kat rolled her eyes.

"I know, but I still don't know why you named me that!"

"We were bored as hell and that was the first name that hit your father when he was playing darts with the name book…The last thing is actually true,"

"What?!"

"Just kidding, your father named you after his grandmother who he loved dearly…and I always liked the name, it means "the pure" one."

"And why did you name me Ethan?" Her son asked curiously and pulled at her shirt to get her attention.

"Because I loved the name and it means "the steady" one." She said and Kat giggled.

"How are you?" Kat asked more serious.

"Better, my head still hurts a little, like my ribs and thigh, but else I'm fine." She then put her things away and threw her clothes in the hamper before she went down stairs again to look through the mail. A black framed letter quickly caught her attention and made her swallowed, a hand laid on top of hers and she looked Spencer in the eyes.

"The funeral is tomorrow…after that we would go to Rossi," He said quietly and then hugged her. In that moment he couldn't help but notice that she fitted just perfectly into his arms.

"We never had the chance to catch up over coffee and that is my fault,"

"She knew and was very thankful that you had forgiven her." Spencer answered and stroked over her back in smooth circles.

"I…just wish that I'd had forgiven her earlier." Alex mumbled into his chest.

"That may sound mean, but she could be lucky that you actually had forgiven her. Not many parents are able to forgive the one whose fault it was that the own child had been kidnapped Alex, so stop blaming yourself for not doing it earlier."

"Thank you Spencer…I'll make some tea, you want some too?" She asked.

"Yes please," He said and followed her to the kitchen. Before they even reached the door they heard Ethan calling.

"Hey Spence! Could you come to my room? I need to show you something really cool…" She nodded and Spencer hurried upstairs. Before he could go to Ethan's room though, Kat's door opened, she grabbed him and he was pulled inside.

"Hey?!"

"Sorry, but I need to talk to you!" She said and walked across her room, which was a "little" messier than usual and slumped down on her bed.

"Talk about what?" He asked and walked carefully, not to step on anything on the floor, which was rather difficult.

Kat sighed and rolled her eyes. "About the weather, what else? About Mom! When are you telling her that you like her, a lot?"

"Wha-…Kat could you please stop?"

"No! You two will never end up together when someone is not helping!".

"Thank you very much," Spencer grumbled a little offended.

"Oh come on! I'm looking at this since four years! and yet you haven't even kissed! Give me three good reasons why you are not telling her, that you like her?"

"W-well, we colleagues!"

"Give me a break; you really think you are the first two in the history of the BAU who fell for each other? Your IQ is 187. After what Mom told me, 95% of the BAU would rather think that Morgan and Garcia are together than you and Mom!"

"I don't want people to judge us because I'm younger than her!"

"Your like five years younger? Who cares? That's nothing and for god's sake. Why is every man who has a younger girlfriend a hero, but a woman with a younger boyfriend is a perv? The mother of my friend Freddy is ten years older than his father and they've been happily married for sixteen years with three kids! So last chance mister, cause these reasons were worse than my last math test!"

"I don't know…I don't want us, maybe in some time, break up or we notice that we are bad couple and we can't be friends anymore and…we'll lose what we have."

"Sometimes you have to risk something in life to change into something better Spence. When you always wait for something, then you'll wait too long and the chance is gone forever. I don't want that to happen to the two of you," She said and shoved him to the door.

"You failed math again?" he teased her.

"Oh shut up! Today 7.15 come over, in Pyjamas and with Pizza…" She said and closed the door giving him no chance to answer. The rest of the day Spencer thought about what Kat had said to him.

In the evening, Alex read a book in her office when Kat walked in. She looked at her with surprise, it was only a little after seven and she was already in a pair of Boxer shorts and a Top. "What- ?" But Kat threw a pair of her own pyjama pants and a matching shirt at her.

"Change and then come down," With that she was gone. Alex didn't know what that was about, but decided to play along and changed into her pyjamas before she went downstairs. There on the sofa she saw Kat and Ethan, both in their pyjamas. They smiled and on the coffee table were some drinks and some snacks.

"Did I miss something?" Alex asked and smiled back, a little confused.

"Well, from now on we have a new tradition. If you're here, one Sunday in every month is going to be "Pyjama Sunday". We'll loll around in our pyjamas the whole day and do nothing." Kat explained "Oh and everyone can choose a movie now and since Ethan is the first who needs to go to bed, we'll watch his first." She added.

"Okay let's do it."

"You agree?"

"Of course that's a great idea!" She sat down between them and Kat pushed the play button before she snuggled back close to her. In this moment, she remembered what Spencer said when she had woken up "he only gave you the PMA when you said you would take it, in order to save Kat and Ethan from him…he threatened to take them and to rape Kat and let Ethan watch" If they had been only a few minutes later than they had, she wouldn't sit here and god only knew what would have happened to Kat and Ethan.

"You two can't imagine how much I love you. You two are the best that could've ever happen to me, I love you so, so much and every day I am so thankful to have you…" She said and Kat smiled at her.

"We love you too Ma. It was really terrifying, but it doesn't matter anymore because we are together again as a family. A little and slightly broken family, but family…right Shorty?" She said.

"Right! And don't call me that!" He said, before he climbed over Alex lap and squeezed himself in between them. They both laughed and Alex laid her arm around her children.

When the doorbell rang Alex looked at Kat surprised.

"Don't you want to open the door?".

"Like this?!"

"Yeah, why not?"

"Kat,"

"Nope!"

The doorbell rang again and Alex sighed in frustration and went to open the door. If this was someone important, she would pay Kat back with hiding an alarm clock in her room set at five in the morning. With the mess in her room she would never ever find it. When she opened the door she couldn't help herself but broke down in laugher, then whinced and held her ribs but still grinned.

"What?" Spencer looked at her confused and then at his outfit. He wore his pyjamas and bathrobe, admitted with the Pizza carton in his hand it must be a little bit funny.

"Kat said I should come in pyjamas…" Alex giggled.

"You're listening to fifteen year old?"

"Hey, looks like you do too!" She looked down at herself.

"You're right but she is my daughter…Please don't tell me you bought the Pizza dressed in pyjamas,"

"No, I ordered the Pizza and then drove over here. I don't want to be the crazy guy of D.C who buys Pizza in pyjamas that fast! So can I come in?" He said.

"Oh! 'Course," Alex said and stepped aside.

"Hey you followed the rules great!" Kat said grinning.

"Psst!" Ethan and Alex and Spencer sat down while Alex shook her head. At some point, Alex had leaned on him and laid her head on his shoulder and he laid his arm around her.

' _He had to tell her how he felt! Kat was right sometimes you had to risk something in life so it could get better. When he'd always wait for the day and do nothing for it then it would clearly never happen. He had to tell her, maybe they could be together. Then he wouldn't be alone and he didn't want to be alone anymore. These three people beside him were his family…whom he nearly lost, his heart began to ache at the thought that Alex could be dead now_.'

Somewhat after midnight, it was only the two of them on the sofa. Ethan had been in bed since half past nine and Alex had sent Kat to bed an hour ago, because she didn't want to beg her out of bed in the morning, which would happen if she liked it or not, but she refused to lose faith that Kat might get up punctual someday. Spencer could get used to just sit on the sofa with her, cuddled together like that, watching an old black and white movie and maybe say the words "I love you" as loud and often as he wanted.

"Alex?" He asked quietly.

"Hmm…?" She murmured half asleep and it took him some time to find the courage, for his next words.

"You now…it's really nice, being not alone, to have someone by his side…that's really great…These last days, I have though a lot about that, you all are my family. You're important to me, especially you Alex…when Curtis had you…Those were the worst days in my life because I didn't know if I would ever see you again, talk to you. It showed me, how much you really meant to me. For so long…you never noticed how much something means to you, until its nearly gone and I don't know what I would do without you and…w-what I'm trying to say is, I think…I love you Alex…" No reaction.

"Alex?" he looked down and sighed, Alex had fallen asleep in his arms.

When she saw this, Kat face palmed herself and went back into her room where Joe was on the phone.

"And?"

"He told her that he loved her, but my mother had fallen asleep before she heard…" She said and Joe laughed.

"Give it some time, tomorrow is the funeral of their boss. They both are going to be sentimental and in no time he will nail her!" Kat pulled a disgusted face.

"We are still talking about my mother!"

"What?! Oh you think the stork brought you? Cause what I heard from my mom your mom-"

"I don't wanna hear it! That was enough Joe for today, we'll see each other tomorrow and don't forget the crib. I can't fail math again or Spencer's going to tease me forever!" with that Kat hung up and went to bed, but she found no more sleep that night.


	7. Chapter 7

Spencer woke up and for a moment he was confused about where he was, then he realized that he was at Alex's place and said person was asleep beside him, he quickly sat up and then wondered why he had woken up. The answer came quick, as he heard a whimper and Alex's head rolled from side to side, as she begged in her sleep.

"No please…get away from her…please no!...No…No….don't touch her…" she whimpered loudly, becoming lost in her current nightmare.

"Alex! Alex wake up" Reid shook her gently and suddenly she sat up and began to breathe heavily before she winced in pain because of her ribs. Spencer quickly took her in his arms.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He whispered in her ear and stroked her back in smooth circles like he had done before, while she curled up in a ball next to him.

"It's okay. I'm here." He said and ran his hand through her hair.

"He tortured her. I couldn't move, I couldn't help her." the brunette murmured her eyes staring into the dark as she remembered what her mind had shown her and he pulled her closer against his body.

"It was only a nightmare, he can't hurt anyone of you, because I will never let that happen Alex and neither will you. You are a great mother who protects her children." He said and Alex buried her face in his neck.

"Thank you Spence…"

"No problem Alex." Reid said as he continued his actions until she had fallen asleep again but he stayed awake for the rest of the night and held Alex in his arms. Luckily, she had no more nightmares.

When Alex woke up the next morning, she realized she had fallen asleep on the couch, she looked at the clock on the wall and jumped up. It was half past nine! Though her ribs hurt like hell, she ran up the stairs swiftly.

"Kat? Ethan?" She called and opened the door to her daughter's room.

"Kat you-" But she then noticed that Kat was not in her room. She raced to Ethan's room and saw that he too wasn't there.

"Kat? Ethan?" The concerned mother yelled and ran back down the stairs, only to be met by Spencer.

"They're in school." The younger agent informed her smiling.

"What?" she asked, confusion evident on her face.

"Yeah, I stayed overnight and you needed some rest so I let you sleep and made sure they would go school," He explained as if it was the most normal thing in the world. "I also made something for breakfast."

"You could've woken me up!"

"No, you still need rest so thank me and start to eat!" He pushed the plate and mug towards her.

"I don't have a choice do I?" She said and started to eat when he shook his head.

"Alex…have you been having these nightmares since you woke up?" He asked with concern and she stopped. She had tried to hide it, she didn't want anyone to know especially not him. Should she tell him?

"What night-"

"Alex, please don't lie to me…" He laid his hand on hers and she gently squeezed it.

"Yeah…I've been having them since I woke up…the nurses told me and I said I didn't want them to tell anyone that I had them." She admitted.

"Why?"

"Why? I don't want them to know I'm having nightmares like a little girl!" she exclaimed, feeling rather embarrassed.

"Alex. No one would've said anything if they knew you had. After all you went through, we only would have tried to help you." He said and hugged her. She embraced him tight and buried her face in his chest. He was right, but she still feared that they would no longer see her as the strong woman she was, or better said she pretended to be for so long. But now? They had seen her when she had been the most vulnerable, this weak, broken, whining thing. Questioning her skills because they had seen her doing one of the most stupid things she had ever done, trying to save her children in leaving them behind without protection. She feared that they all would look at her with pity now, because they had to save her.

Spencer left three hours later and she took a shower and when she went back down only in a towel, Christina sat at her kitchen island, reading a magazine and drinking coffee.

"What? Could you please stop drinking my coffee?" She asked and Christina looked at her.

"Since when have you stopped complaining that I'm coming to your house without knocking and everything?" She asked and tried to protect her coffee from Alex.

"Since I know you aren't even listening to me when I complain." she said, as if to proof what she had said, Christina looked up with a dreamy expression on her face, Alex rolled her dark eyes and snapped her fingers in front of her best friend's nose.

"Hey…could you watch Kat and Ethan for me. I don't know when I will be back from the funeral." she said.

"Of course. Are you okay?" Christina asked.

"Yes …really I'm fine, now take your coffee and go over to your house again. I'll change," said Alex as she turned to walk away, Christina got up and wanted to take the coffee bag when she heard Alex.

"I meant your cup not the bag; if it's missing I'll hunt you down!"

Alex dressed and her thoughts wandered to the day, on which she had met Erin Strauss for the first time again.

* * *

_"I still owe you an apology Agent Blake." she said and Alex sighed annoyed. She really didn't want to talk to her, she wanted to go home and be with her kids._

_"Um…" she only made and looked at her._

_"You won't believe me Alex, but the side I like least of all in my job is the political one…when you have been blamed for arresting the wrong person, I did nothing to stop-"_

_"Oh no…you've cut my rope Erin and it took me ten years to get back here, but you know that I don't give a damn about that anymore! It sounds like you convinced yourself that you didn't do anything wrong, but you did! And you know exactly why I'm angry." She hissed._

_"Yes I do…and I'm heartbroken about-"_

_"I was heartbroken when a man broke into my house and kidnapped my three year old child. My daughter was taken from me for 71 hours. I didn't know how she was doing, if she was hurt, or if she was still alive…Seventy one hours. Because of you! It was hell, no one believed she was still alive, not even own her father. So don't tell me that you know what it was like, because you don't! Nobody who hasn't been through the same hell knows what it was like."_

_"It was never my intention for that to happen…how is Kathrin?" She asked, Alex swallowed and struggled with the answer._

_"She's doing fine. Her brother is fine too." she said quietly._

_"You won't believe me Alex, but I'm glad you're here and I would like to move on with you." said Erin._

_"That makes two of us. But I don't want to make amends with you Erin, I can't change the fact that we have to work together, as much as I dislike it, but I want to work here. So we will work together, but don't think it's all forgiven and forgotten." she said and Erin walked past her but stopped and turned around._

_"Alex… I heard what happen to James…I'm so sorry."_

_"Me too…" she said without looking at her._

* * *

_They sat in the car in silent while she drove. "Thank you for giving me a ride." Erin said._

_"No Problem." she answered and sent her a small smile._

_"We never had the chance to catch up over coffee." She stated and Alex nodded._

_"Yes, but maybe we can when we get back"_

_"Yes, I would like that. How are Kathrin and her brother?"_

_"Ethan."._

_"Excuse me?" Erin asked and looked at her a little confused._

_"That's the name of my son, Ethan." Alex answered._

_"So how are Kathrin and Ethan?"._

_"Good I think. Hopefully the house is still standing." she smiled while Erin gave a short laugh before they sat together in silent again._

_"He doesn't remember his father does he?" the grip of her hands on the steering wheel got tighter._

_"I'm sorry, I didn't want to-"_

_"It's okay… and no, he was only three months old, but he knows about his father and he reminds me of him every day." The truth was he didn't remind her of James, but of Spencer._

_"It must be hard to raise them on your own."_

_"It is, but I'm really proud of them. Erin, I want to move on too and I'm sorry for not doing it earlier." Alex said when she stopped in front of the hotel._

_"No, I would have done the same in your position and I'm happy that you're willing to give me a chance…so we get in touch because of the coffee when we get home. Goodbye and thank you for the ride again," said Strauss with a truthful smile when she got out of the car._

_"Yeah we can figure something out when we're back."_

* * *

But they never would, Alex took a deep breath and went down the stairs, she drank a glass of water and saw the black sedan of the funeral parlor holding at her house. She took her bag and walked outside and got into the vehicle, Rossi, JJ, Garcia, Morgan and Spencer already sat inside and she sat down beside Spencer and JJ.

"Hello." she said with a small smile.

"How are you?" JJ asked and though it was real poky Garcia hugged her tight. She hissed because of her ribs and Garcia quickly pulled back.

"I'm so, so, so sorry! Really! I totally forgot, sorry, but I wanted to hug you because the last time-"

"Garcia! It's okay, really it's not that bad anymore," Alex said and smiled. "I'm better my ribs and thigh still hurt a little but I'm fine." They picked up Hotch and drove to the church and graveyard where Erin would be buried. They went up to the others and watched as Rossi walked up to her kids.

"Is he going to be alright again?" Garcia asked.

"It's not going to be easy for him, but I think so." Hotch answered.

At both the ceremonies in and outside of the church, Alex looked down at the flowers in her hand. A few minutes later and it would have been her who they would bury now, then it would be her kids who stood there and bury another parent. The longer she stood here outside in the burning sun, the more exhausting it got for her. She leaned onto Reid beside her, who sent her a worried glance.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"No, not really." she answered honestly and he gave her more support, as someone tapped her on her shoulder, they turned around and saw JJ who also looked worried.

"Over there is a bench you could sit on." she said and Alex nodded and gave Garcia a little smile, as she saw that their normally bubbly friend also looked worried.

"Come." with that Reid gently pulled her with him. When they sat down she sighed with relief, she didn't expect it would be that tough.

"Even though I'm sad that she is dead…I'm glad that we don't have to bury both of you. I think I couldn't have handled this." He said and she leaned a bit closer to him as she let her fingers dance around the petals of the two roses in her hands.

"Because of you…without you I would've died…and I never even thanked you." Alex said barely above a whisper.

"I would do it again every time." she didn't answer, so they just sat beside each other in silent until they were about to lower the coffin down, they stood up and walked back to the others. After the family and closer friends including Rossi went up, she followed they actions and laid the flowers down and stood there for a moment "I hope you can forgive me, for never thanking you that you did what you did." she whispered.

In the evening they were all at Rossi's place, they talked and laughed and told stories from their time with Strauss.

"Do you remember when she called me…and-and I thought it was somebody else?" said Garcia and pointed towards Morgan, "And I said: Talk dirty to me?" they all laughed.

"Oh no you didn't!" Alex said and couldn't hold back a grin.

"Yes she did! It was extremely funny!" said JJ giggling.

"Maybe for you, but I couldn't look at her for weeks!" She answered but giggled too.

"Alex…I always wanted to ask you what happened twelve years ago? Erin mentioned something but wouldn't say exactly what" Rossi asked after some time. She shared a glance with Reid.

"I don't think it's the right time now…it's over and I-"

"Come on, we know it's something serious and that Strauss had something to do with it" Morgan said.

"Okay…Err…That's kinda hard sorry, some days after I had been degraded…the man we wrongfully arrested kidnapped Kat, who was three at the time." she stopped and saw the shocked looks in all but Reid's face. "He sent us a Video on which we could see that he had her, it was mostly to torture me and it worked I can tell you. They were able to save her after three days, when no one but me thought she was still alive."

"In the video he said that he did all of this, because Erin gave our address to the media and she admitted it and I just couldn't forgive her for a long time. She tried once tried to apologize but…it was right after James had the accident." again they looked confused, except for Reid and Hotch.

"He was my husband…when Ethan was three months old he had a car accident…but they never found his body. Four years ago, they pronounced him dead." she explained and Reid took her right hand in his under the table.

"We're really sorry." JJ said and couldn't imagine what her colleague and friend had been though, the abduction of the own child, the death of her husband and having no certainty? No, she really couldn't imagine that and Garcia got up with tears in her eyes and hugged Alex.

"It's not fair that this all happened to you, it's really not fair! Your one of the good kind, this shouldn't happen to a sweet person like you!" she said and Alex smiled and bit down a hiss of pain, but she didn't want Garcia to apologize again for being so kind and sweet.

"I said it was not a good story and the worst thing is, I never thanked her for cutting my robe, though I won't be thankful for Kat's abduction, but if she hadn't done this, then I never would have taken the offer from George Town, wouldn't have met Spence there, never would've gotten the offer from you and wouldn't be in this great team, which I'm very thankful for. Perhaps I wouldn't even have Ethan." she said and smiled at them.

"But to lighten the mood again, I remember once when I was still working with Erin, a certain SSA on this table here was too, who believe me or not sent flowers to her, but instead they landed on my table and with them a very saucy note, that would have turned even Garcia's cheeks red!"

"Oh no, don't you dare Alex!" groaned Rossi embarrassed and they laughed.

"Okay maybe I won't tell the whole story!"

"Aw! Come on Blake! I'll give you twenty bucks if you tell me what that note said." Morgan said with mock frustration and they laughed. They continued to laugh and talk about funny things that happened to them within their time in the BAU the whole evening.

But the later it got, the more tired Alex got. "It was really nice guys, but I think I'll go home. It was more wearing than I thought." She stated smiling.

"I'll go with you!" Spencer said quickly and they stood up, said Goodbyes to everyone and JJ smiled knowingly shaking her head amused, their feelings for each other were even more obvious than the ones of Strauss and Rossi. They took a cab to hers and both got out.

"I'm okay Spence" Alex said and walked slowly to her front door.

"No you're not." he said and she stopped, she knew he saw that she wasn't as okay as she wanted them all to believe. Why could he always see how she was feeling even though everyone else believed her, even some of the most talented Profilers in the country! Because he is not anybody else!

"Yes, you're right I'm not, I feel damn crappy! I feel guilty, I should have forgiven her earlier and god damn it I nearly died! I nearly left my children and-and this Monster-I never thanked her because without her I would never know you! I would have left you, without telling you-!" she stopped and looked down to hide the tears that had built in her eyes.

"I'm tired Spencer…tired of it all." she mumbled and turned to her door again. He didn't know why he said the words out loud now, he just couldn't hold them back anymore, his heart had screamed too long for this to hold it back now.

"I love you!"

She stopped in her tracks and didn't move a millimeter _–Did he say what she thought he said?-_ she turned around but still looked at the ground.

"No you don't." She whispered she couldn't believe it, dreams didn't come true so fast.

"I love you Alex! I loved you for so long and don't you doubt that, because I nearly lost you without telling you and I never said those words before, because even though I loved Maeve, it was not the same love I feel for you! I felt the love for her which I should feel for you, the kind of love I feel for JJ or Garcia, but it's more than that!" while he spoke Spencer almost looked desperate.

"Whenever you're with me I can be who I am Alex and I'm truly happy when you are with me. You know me better than I do myself and I love it when you laugh about my jokes, no one else does and I want to show you that-that I can be there for you, that I won't hurt you like the other jerks who made the biggest mistakes in their life in leaving you if you ask me. Let me proof this, let me proof that…I'm the right one for you, I know I'm not special and not good enough for you, but I love you…with all my heart."

She thought her heart wanted to jump out of her chest, this couldn't be true, he would take his words back. She wanted this so much! But they were not allowed. He stepped closer to her and lifted her head, for a moment she looked into his eyes and all she could see was love. Before Alex could say something, he brushed his lips against hers. When his lips touched hers a lost memory flashed over her mind.

They sat in the helicopter and prepared for the impact, he had forced her to look at him and kissed her, harder than the kiss they shared now, but still full of love. She pulled back but kept her eyes closed.

"You kissed me before…you kissed me when we crashed."

"Yes." he breathed out.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked and opened her eyes.

"You couldn't remember it and I-I thought it would be better if it stayed like that. I thought I could keep it a secret, but I can't, not anymore. You nearly died in my arms, I thought I would never get the chance to tell you why I kissed you, I needed to tell you, even if you don't return my feeli-" before he could finish the sentence, she pulled him down to her and kissed him.

She was surprised by her own actions and a moment later she was even more surprised, when he deepened the kiss. Spencer wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer, while Alex laid her hands around his neck. It might have been only two minutes they stayed like this, but for them it could have been a couple of sunny days, for both of them only this moment counted. She separated from him and he laid his forehead against hers.

"I think you've missed your cab." Alex murmured and a quick glance to the side told him that she was right.

"Well, then I have to walk home." he answered their foreheads still touching.

"Or…you're going to stay…because I love you too Spencer." his eyes sparkled with a kind of happiness one had never seen in them.

He grinned and kissed her again, now even more passionately and his arms wrapped tightly around her middle and she laid hers around his neck again. She already couldn't get enough of the feeling of his lips on hers, how he tasted, how his arms felt wrapped around her and she never wanted to let go of him and he felt the same way about her. When a cold wind came up, Alex began to shiver and he pulled back gently.

"Let's go inside."

"Good idea." Alex mumbled and he pulled her to the front door, unlocked it and together they went inside. She instantly got out of her shoes and Spencer wanted to walk over to the sofa, but she pulled him over to the stairs. Alex wanted to lay down on her comfortable bed and don't be alone, feel him beside her. When they stood in her bedroom she turned around.

"Could you just…hold me in your arms for a while?" she asked and again he gently pulled her to the bed, lay down beside her and stroked lovingly over her arm as she laid cuddled up against him, her head pillowed on his chest.

"I love you Spencer…" even a second time it sounded unreal, but Alex liked the sound of the words when they left her mouth and the thought that she could say them as often and out lout as she wanted.

* * *

In the middle of the night, Spencer woke up as the person beside him and who he held in his arms tried to get out of his embrace and quietly begged, it was Alex and she had a nightmare again, she begged that he would let Kat go or take her instead of her daughter.

"Alex! Alex wake up!" He said and shook her gently. She woke with a sharp scream and fought his hand s away until she realized where she was and who he was.

"Was it the same dream?" Reid asked quietly when Alex had calmed down a little.

"Yes. She always begs me to save her but I can't move." Alex answered after a while and Spencer

"He can't do anything to them, because he is dead, and because you and I are going to protect them, they love and I love you." he said and pulled the planked tighter around her as he could feel her start to shiver.

"Thank you for being there for me."

"I will always be there for you Alex, I love you." he said and kissed her forehead.

"I love you too" she said and he continued to stroke over her back while he held her close and Alex laid her head back on his chest so she was able to hear his heart beat which calmed her down more than anything else. Because she knew it beat with the same love for her, like hers did beat for him. She drifted off to sleep again, this time without nightmares, she knew he was there and so nothing bad could happen to her.

When Alex woke up, she was alone, she looked beside her, but the bed was empty, she reached over but the covers were cold like they had been for so long. Her heart really shattered into a thousand pieces, tears started to form in her eyes, had it all been a dream? It had been so real, his lips on hers, his arms protectively around her and those three words.

Alex swallowed and everything inside her wanted to stay in bed, stay here curled up in a ball under the covers and stay there. But she knew she had to get up, she noticed that she still wore the dress from the funeral, so she changed into a pair of sweat pants and a shirt before she went down stairs where she smelled coffee. Alex stepped into the kitchen and saw him standing there, only in his dress pants and white shirt.

"Good Morning, did I wake you?" Spencer asked when he noticed her and she smiled.

"No…what are you doing?" she asked and walked closer.

"Breakfast of course." For a second it seemed he wanted to say something else but held himself back, she then saw the uncertainty in his eyes and she took his hand in hers and pulled him close.

"Kiss me." He smiled somewhat relieved and leaned down to lay his lips on hers and they both laid their arms around the waist of the other one. They kissed like that for a couple of moments, so that they both didn't notice that someone had walked in, until the person spoke up.

"Hallelujah! You two actually managed to get together." they burst apart and turned around to see a grinning Kat standing in the doorway.

"Kat-"

"Save it! I thought I had to lock you guys up and only let you out when you finally confessed your feelings for one another. So that's why nearly the whole street could see you make out in front of our house yesterday." Kat said grinning, first they blushed up then Alex narrowed an eyebrow.

"You and Christina were spying out of her kitchen window again weren't you?" but Alex knew the answer. Indeed Joe had called for her mother and Kat when she had been in the kitchen, saying that Kat should better stop calling Spencer "Uncle Spencer" once Christina and Kat had looked outside, they had seen them kissing at their door entrance.

"Maybe, but I'm happy that you guys are finally together!" she said and Spencer kissed Alex again before, he laid his arms around her and Alex leaned back causing Kat to smiled.

"As cute and cool as I think this is, I'm meeting with Freddy and Joe" she said and hugged them.

"Okay, when are you going to be back?"

"I don't know, I'll be back when I'm home." Kat called over her shoulder and was gone.

"I hate it when she does that" Alex mumbled but Spencer just chuckled and handed her a coffee mug. They enjoyed breakfast together and then sat down on the sofa.

"Ah well, should- I mean should we tell the team?" asked Alex.

"I don't know. I never went out with someone within the BAU." Spence answered truthfully.

"Maybe we shouldn't tell them right now. We should keep it for us for a while, see how everything works out and then we can tell them. I don't even know if we are allowed to date" She stated.

"It's not really forbidden, though the couple may have to prove that they are able to keep being professional when they are at work, but the "may" means for 99.9 % couples have to prove that they are able to be professional."

"Sounds great," Alex murmured sarcastically and shook her head smiling when he looked at her rather confused and kissed him. "That's what I love about you, you know, your little issue with sarcasm." she said and he gave her a peck on her lips.

"Therefore I love everything about you" Spencer said and nestled his face in her neck. He kissed her there, causing her to shudder and turn her head.

"No you don't, you little sycophant " Alex kissed him once more while he just shrugged his shoulders.

"But I'm your little sycophant. I love you." he said pulled her back against his chest and wrapped his arms around her while she giggled.

"Yes you are and I love you too." she said and leaned back into his arms closing her eyes, enjoying the feeling of true love in her heart which she had missed for so long.

* * *

**AN: So finally I managed to get them together ! Special thanks to NarcissaMinerva for reviewing you're great !.**

**The next Chapter contains some leaps in time, like how they hide it from the team for example and then I will let my inner UnSub gain the upper hand, so try to stay with me a little longer, it'll be worthwhile !**

**Leave a review if you want  
**

**AlexSpencerfan**


	8. All You Need Is Love

Spencer woke up and for a moment he was confused about where he was, then he realized that he was at Alex's place and said person was asleep beside him, he quickly sat up and then wondered why he had woken up. The answer came quick, as he heard a whimper and Alex's head rolled from side to side, as she begged in her sleep.

"No please…get away from her…please no!...No…No….don't touch her…" she whimpered loudly, becoming lost in her current nightmare.

"Alex! Alex wake up" Reid shook her gently and suddenly she sat up and began to breathe heavily before she winced in pain because of her ribs. Spencer quickly took her in his arms.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He whispered in her ear and stroked her back in smooth circles like he had done before, while she curled up in a ball next to him.

"It's okay. I'm here." He said and ran his hand through her hair.

"He tortured her. I couldn't move, I couldn't help her." the brunette murmured her eyes staring into the dark as she remembered what her mind had shown her and he pulled her closer against his body.

"It was only a nightmare, he can't hurt anyone of you, because I will never let that happen Alex and neither will you. You are a great mother who protects her children." He said and Alex buried her face in his neck.

"Thank you Spence…"

"No problem Alex." Reid said as he continued his actions until she had fallen asleep again but he stayed awake for the rest of the night and held Alex in his arms. Luckily, she had no more nightmares.

When Alex woke up the next morning, she realized she had fallen asleep on the couch, she looked at the clock on the wall and jumped up. It was half past nine! Though her ribs hurt like hell, she ran up the stairs swiftly.

"Kat? Ethan?" She called and opened the door to her daughter's room.

"Kat you-" But she then noticed that Kat was not in her room. She raced to Ethan's room and saw that he too wasn't there.

"Kat? Ethan?" The concerned mother yelled and ran back down the stairs, only to be met by Spencer.

"They're in school." The younger agent informed her smiling.

"What?" she asked, confusion evident on her face.

"Yeah, I stayed overnight and you needed some rest so I let you sleep and made sure they would go school," He explained as if it was the most normal thing in the world. "I also made something for breakfast."

"You could've woken me up!"

"No, you still need rest so thank me and start to eat!" He pushed the plate and mug towards her.

"I don't have a choice do I?" She said and started to eat when he shook his head.

"Alex…have you been having these nightmares since you woke up?" He asked with concern and she stopped. She had tried to hide it, she didn't want anyone to know especially not him. Should she tell him?

"What night-"

"Alex, please don't lie to me…" He laid his hand on hers and she gently squeezed it.

"Yeah…I've been having them since I woke up…the nurses told me and I said I didn't want them to tell anyone that I had them." She admitted.

"Why?"

"Why? I don't want them to know I'm having nightmares like a little girl!" she exclaimed, feeling rather embarrassed.

"Alex. No one would've said anything if they knew you had. After all you went through, we only would have tried to help you." He said and hugged her. She embraced him tight and buried her face in his chest. He was right, but she still feared that they would no longer see her as the strong woman she was, or better said she pretended to be for so long. But now? They had seen her when she had been the most vulnerable, this weak, broken, whining thing. Questioning her skills because they had seen her doing one of the most stupid things she had ever done, trying to save her children in leaving them behind without protection. She feared that they all would look at her with pity now, because they had to save her.

Spencer left three hours later and she took a shower and when she went back down only in a towel, Christina sat at her kitchen island, reading a magazine and drinking coffee.

"What? Could you please stop drinking my coffee?" She asked and Christina looked at her.

"Since when have you stopped complaining that I'm coming to your house without knocking and everything?" She asked and tried to protect her coffee from Alex.

"Since I know you aren't even listening to me when I complain." she said, as if to proof what she had said, Christina looked up with a dreamy expression on her face, Alex rolled her dark eyes and snapped her fingers in front of her best friend's nose.

"Hey…could you watch Kat and Ethan for me. I don't know when I will be back from the funeral." she said.

"Of course. Are you okay?" Christina asked.

"Yes …really I'm fine, now take your coffee and go over to your house again. I'll change," said Alex as she turned to walk away, Christina got up and wanted to take the coffee bag when she heard Alex.

"I meant your cup not the bag; if it's missing I'll hunt you down!"

Alex dressed and her thoughts wandered to the day, on which she had met Erin Strauss for the first time again.

* * *

_"I still owe you an apology Agent Blake." she said and Alex sighed annoyed. She really didn't want to talk to her, she wanted to go home and be with her kids._

_"Um…" she only made and looked at her._

_"You won't believe me Alex, but the side I like least of all in my job is the political one…when you have been blamed for arresting the wrong person, I did nothing to stop-"_

_"Oh no…you've cut my rope Erin and it took me ten years to get back here, but you know that I don't give a damn about that anymore! It sounds like you convinced yourself that you didn't do anything wrong, but you did! And you know exactly why I'm angry." She hissed._

_"Yes I do…and I'm heartbroken about-"_

_"I was heartbroken when a man broke into my house and kidnapped my three year old child. My daughter was taken from me for 71 hours. I didn't know how she was doing, if she was hurt, or if she was still alive…Seventy one hours. Because of you! It was hell, no one believed she was still alive, not even own her father. So don't tell me that you know what it was like, because you don't! Nobody who hasn't been through the same hell knows what it was like."_

_"It was never my intention for that to happen…how is Kathrin?" She asked, Alex swallowed and struggled with the answer._

_"She's doing fine. Her brother is fine too." she said quietly._

_"You won't believe me Alex, but I'm glad you're here and I would like to move on with you." said Erin._

_"That makes two of us. But I don't want to make amends with you Erin, I can't change the fact that we have to work together, as much as I dislike it, but I want to work here. So we will work together, but don't think it's all forgiven and forgotten." she said and Erin walked past her but stopped and turned around._

_"Alex… I heard what happen to James…I'm so sorry."_

_"Me too…" she said without looking at her._

* * *

_They sat in the car in silent while she drove. "Thank you for giving me a ride." Erin said._

_"No Problem." she answered and sent her a small smile._

_"We never had the chance to catch up over coffee." She stated and Alex nodded._

_"Yes, but maybe we can when we get back"_

_"Yes, I would like that. How are Kathrin and her brother?"_

_"Ethan."._

_"Excuse me?" Erin asked and looked at her a little confused._

_"That's the name of my son, Ethan." Alex answered._

_"So how are Kathrin and Ethan?"._

_"Good I think. Hopefully the house is still standing." she smiled while Erin gave a short laugh before they sat together in silent again._

_"He doesn't remember his father does he?" the grip of her hands on the steering wheel got tighter._

_"I'm sorry, I didn't want to-"_

_"It's okay… and no, he was only three months old, but he knows about his father and he reminds me of him every day." The truth was he didn't remind her of James, but of Spencer._

_"It must be hard to raise them on your own."_

_"It is, but I'm really proud of them. Erin, I want to move on too and I'm sorry for not doing it earlier." Alex said when she stopped in front of the hotel._

_"No, I would have done the same in your position and I'm happy that you're willing to give me a chance…so we get in touch because of the coffee when we get home. Goodbye and thank you for the ride again," said Strauss with a truthful smile when she got out of the car._

_"Yeah we can figure something out when we're back."_

* * *

But they never would, Alex took a deep breath and went down the stairs, she drank a glass of water and saw the black sedan of the funeral parlor holding at her house. She took her bag and walked outside and got into the vehicle, Rossi, JJ, Garcia, Morgan and Spencer already sat inside and she sat down beside Spencer and JJ.

"Hello." she said with a small smile.

"How are you?" JJ asked and though it was real poky Garcia hugged her tight. She hissed because of her ribs and Garcia quickly pulled back.

"I'm so, so, so sorry! Really! I totally forgot, sorry, but I wanted to hug you because the last time-"

"Garcia! It's okay, really it's not that bad anymore," Alex said and smiled. "I'm better my ribs and thigh still hurt a little but I'm fine." They picked up Hotch and drove to the church and graveyard where Erin would be buried. They went up to the others and watched as Rossi walked up to her kids.

"Is he going to be alright again?" Garcia asked.

"It's not going to be easy for him, but I think so." Hotch answered.

At both the ceremonies in and outside of the church, Alex looked down at the flowers in her hand. A few minutes later and it would have been her who they would bury now, then it would be her kids who stood there and bury another parent. The longer she stood here outside in the burning sun, the more exhausting it got for her. She leaned onto Reid beside her, who sent her a worried glance.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"No, not really." she answered honestly and he gave her more support, as someone tapped her on her shoulder, they turned around and saw JJ who also looked worried.

"Over there is a bench you could sit on." she said and Alex nodded and gave Garcia a little smile, as she saw that their normally bubbly friend also looked worried.

"Come." with that Reid gently pulled her with him. When they sat down she sighed with relief, she didn't expect it would be that tough.

"Even though I'm sad that she is dead…I'm glad that we don't have to bury both of you. I think I couldn't have handled this." He said and she leaned a bit closer to him as she let her fingers dance around the petals of the two roses in her hands.

"Because of you…without you I would've died…and I never even thanked you." Alex said barely above a whisper.

"I would do it again every time." she didn't answer, so they just sat beside each other in silent until they were about to lower the coffin down, they stood up and walked back to the others. After the family and closer friends including Rossi went up, she followed they actions and laid the flowers down and stood there for a moment "I hope you can forgive me, for never thanking you that you did what you did." she whispered.

In the evening they were all at Rossi's place, they talked and laughed and told stories from their time with Strauss.

"Do you remember when she called me…and-and I thought it was somebody else?" said Garcia and pointed towards Morgan, "And I said: Talk dirty to me?" they all laughed.

"Oh no you didn't!" Alex said and couldn't hold back a grin.

"Yes she did! It was extremely funny!" said JJ giggling.

"Maybe for you, but I couldn't look at her for weeks!" She answered but giggled too.

"Alex…I always wanted to ask you what happened twelve years ago? Erin mentioned something but wouldn't say exactly what" Rossi asked after some time. She shared a glance with Reid.

"I don't think it's the right time now…it's over and I-"

"Come on, we know it's something serious and that Strauss had something to do with it" Morgan said.

"Okay…Err…That's kinda hard sorry, some days after I had been degraded…the man we wrongfully arrested kidnapped Kat, who was three at the time." she stopped and saw the shocked looks in all but Reid's face. "He sent us a Video on which we could see that he had her, it was mostly to torture me and it worked I can tell you. They were able to save her after three days, when no one but me thought she was still alive."

"In the video he said that he did all of this, because Erin gave our address to the media and she admitted it and I just couldn't forgive her for a long time. She tried once tried to apologize but…it was right after James had the accident." again they looked confused, except for Reid and Hotch.

"He was my husband…when Ethan was three months old he had a car accident…but they never found his body. Four years ago, they pronounced him dead." she explained and Reid took her right hand in his under the table.

"We're really sorry." JJ said and couldn't imagine what her colleague and friend had been though, the abduction of the own child, the death of her husband and having no certainty? No, she really couldn't imagine that and Garcia got up with tears in her eyes and hugged Alex.

"It's not fair that this all happened to you, it's really not fair! Your one of the good kind, this shouldn't happen to a sweet person like you!" she said and Alex smiled and bit down a hiss of pain, but she didn't want Garcia to apologize again for being so kind and sweet.

"I said it was not a good story and the worst thing is, I never thanked her for cutting my robe, though I won't be thankful for Kat's abduction, but if she hadn't done this, then I never would have taken the offer from George Town, wouldn't have met Spence there, never would've gotten the offer from you and wouldn't be in this great team, which I'm very thankful for. Perhaps I wouldn't even have Ethan." she said and smiled at them.

"But to lighten the mood again, I remember once when I was still working with Erin, a certain SSA on this table here was too, who believe me or not sent flowers to her, but instead they landed on my table and with them a very saucy note, that would have turned even Garcia's cheeks red!"

"Oh no, don't you dare Alex!" groaned Rossi embarrassed and they laughed.

"Okay maybe I won't tell the whole story!"

"Aw! Come on Blake! I'll give you twenty bucks if you tell me what that note said." Morgan said with mock frustration and they laughed. They continued to laugh and talk about funny things that happened to them within their time in the BAU the whole evening.

But the later it got, the more tired Alex got. "It was really nice guys, but I think I'll go home. It was more wearing than I thought." She stated smiling.

"I'll go with you!" Spencer said quickly and they stood up, said Goodbyes to everyone and JJ smiled knowingly shaking her head amused, their feelings for each other were even more obvious than the ones of Strauss and Rossi. They took a cab to hers and both got out.

"I'm okay Spence" Alex said and walked slowly to her front door.

"No you're not." he said and she stopped, she knew he saw that she wasn't as okay as she wanted them all to believe. Why could he always see how she was feeling even though everyone else believed her, even some of the most talented Profilers in the country! Because he is not anybody else!

"Yes, you're right I'm not, I feel damn crappy! I feel guilty, I should have forgiven her earlier and god damn it I nearly died! I nearly left my children and-and this Monster-I never thanked her because without her I would never know you! I would have left you, without telling you-!" she stopped and looked down to hide the tears that had built in her eyes.

"I'm tired Spencer…tired of it all." she mumbled and turned to her door again. He didn't know why he said the words out loud now, he just couldn't hold them back anymore, his heart had screamed too long for this to hold it back now.

"I love you!"

She stopped in her tracks and didn't move a millimeter _–Did he say what she thought he said?-_ she turned around but still looked at the ground.

"No you don't." She whispered she couldn't believe it, dreams didn't come true so fast.

"I love you Alex! I loved you for so long and don't you doubt that, because I nearly lost you without telling you and I never said those words before, because even though I loved Maeve, it was not the same love I feel for you! I felt the love for her which I should feel for you, the kind of love I feel for JJ or Garcia, but it's more than that!" while he spoke Spencer almost looked desperate.

"Whenever you're with me I can be who I am Alex and I'm truly happy when you are with me. You know me better than I do myself and I love it when you laugh about my jokes, no one else does and I want to show you that-that I can be there for you, that I won't hurt you like the other jerks who made the biggest mistakes in their life in leaving you if you ask me. Let me proof this, let me proof that…I'm the right one for you, I know I'm not special and not good enough for you, but I love you…with all my heart."

She thought her heart wanted to jump out of her chest, this couldn't be true, he would take his words back. She wanted this so much! But they were not allowed. He stepped closer to her and lifted her head, for a moment she looked into his eyes and all she could see was love. Before Alex could say something, he brushed his lips against hers. When his lips touched hers a lost memory flashed over her mind.

They sat in the helicopter and prepared for the impact, he had forced her to look at him and kissed her, harder than the kiss they shared now, but still full of love. She pulled back but kept her eyes closed.

"You kissed me before…you kissed me when we crashed."

"Yes." he breathed out.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked and opened her eyes.

"You couldn't remember it and I-I thought it would be better if it stayed like that. I thought I could keep it a secret, but I can't, not anymore. You nearly died in my arms, I thought I would never get the chance to tell you why I kissed you, I needed to tell you, even if you don't return my feeli-" before he could finish the sentence, she pulled him down to her and kissed him.

She was surprised by her own actions and a moment later she was even more surprised, when he deepened the kiss. Spencer wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer, while Alex laid her hands around his neck. It might have been only two minutes they stayed like this, but for them it could have been a couple of sunny days, for both of them only this moment counted. She separated from him and he laid his forehead against hers.

"I think you've missed your cab." Alex murmured and a quick glance to the side told him that she was right.

"Well, then I have to walk home." he answered their foreheads still touching.

"Or…you're going to stay…because I love you too Spencer." his eyes sparkled with a kind of happiness one had never seen in them.

He grinned and kissed her again, now even more passionately and his arms wrapped tightly around her middle and she laid hers around his neck again. She already couldn't get enough of the feeling of his lips on hers, how he tasted, how his arms felt wrapped around her and she never wanted to let go of him and he felt the same way about her. When a cold wind came up, Alex began to shiver and he pulled back gently.

"Let's go inside."

"Good idea." Alex mumbled and he pulled her to the front door, unlocked it and together they went inside. She instantly got out of her shoes and Spencer wanted to walk over to the sofa, but she pulled him over to the stairs. Alex wanted to lay down on her comfortable bed and don't be alone, feel him beside her. When they stood in her bedroom she turned around.

"Could you just…hold me in your arms for a while?" she asked and again he gently pulled her to the bed, lay down beside her and stroked lovingly over her arm as she laid cuddled up against him, her head pillowed on his chest.

"I love you Spencer…" even a second time it sounded unreal, but Alex liked the sound of the words when they left her mouth and the thought that she could say them as often and out lout as she wanted.

* * *

In the middle of the night, Spencer woke up as the person beside him and who he held in his arms tried to get out of his embrace and quietly begged, it was Alex and she had a nightmare again, she begged that he would let Kat go or take her instead of her daughter.

"Alex! Alex wake up!" He said and shook her gently. She woke with a sharp scream and fought his hand s away until she realized where she was and who he was.

"Was it the same dream?" Reid asked quietly when Alex had calmed down a little.

"Yes. She always begs me to save her but I can't move." Alex answered after a while and Spencer

"He can't do anything to them, because he is dead, and because you and I are going to protect them, they love and I love you." he said and pulled the planked tighter around her as he could feel her start to shiver.

"Thank you for being there for me."

"I will always be there for you Alex, I love you." he said and kissed her forehead.

"I love you too" she said and he continued to stroke over her back while he held her close and Alex laid her head back on his chest so she was able to hear his heart beat which calmed her down more than anything else. Because she knew it beat with the same love for her, like hers did beat for him. She drifted off to sleep again, this time without nightmares, she knew he was there and so nothing bad could happen to her.

When Alex woke up, she was alone, she looked beside her, but the bed was empty, she reached over but the covers were cold like they had been for so long. Her heart really shattered into a thousand pieces, tears started to form in her eyes, had it all been a dream? It had been so real, his lips on hers, his arms protectively around her and those three words.

Alex swallowed and everything inside her wanted to stay in bed, stay here curled up in a ball under the covers and stay there. But she knew she had to get up, she noticed that she still wore the dress from the funeral, so she changed into a pair of sweat pants and a shirt before she went down stairs where she smelled coffee. Alex stepped into the kitchen and saw him standing there, only in his dress pants and white shirt.

"Good Morning, did I wake you?" Spencer asked when he noticed her and she smiled.

"No…what are you doing?" she asked and walked closer.

"Breakfast of course." For a second it seemed he wanted to say something else but held himself back, she then saw the uncertainty in his eyes and she took his hand in hers and pulled him close.

"Kiss me." He smiled somewhat relieved and leaned down to lay his lips on hers and they both laid their arms around the waist of the other one. They kissed like that for a couple of moments, so that they both didn't notice that someone had walked in, until the person spoke up.

"Hallelujah! You two actually managed to get together." they burst apart and turned around to see a grinning Kat standing in the doorway.

"Kat-"

"Save it! I thought I had to lock you guys up and only let you out when you finally confessed your feelings for one another. So that's why nearly the whole street could see you make out in front of our house yesterday." Kat said grinning, first they blushed up then Alex narrowed an eyebrow.

"You and Christina were spying out of her kitchen window again weren't you?" but Alex knew the answer. Indeed Joe had called for her mother and Kat when she had been in the kitchen, saying that Kat should better stop calling Spencer "Uncle Spencer" once Christina and Kat had looked outside, they had seen them kissing at their door entrance.

"Maybe, but I'm happy that you guys are finally together!" she said and Spencer kissed Alex again before, he laid his arms around her and Alex leaned back causing Kat to smiled.

"As cute and cool as I think this is, I'm meeting with Freddy and Joe" she said and hugged them.

"Okay, when are you going to be back?"

"I don't know, I'll be back when I'm home." Kat called over her shoulder and was gone.

"I hate it when she does that" Alex mumbled but Spencer just chuckled and handed her a coffee mug. They enjoyed breakfast together and then sat down on the sofa.

"Ah well, should- I mean should we tell the team?" asked Alex.

"I don't know. I never went out with someone within the BAU." Spence answered truthfully.

"Maybe we shouldn't tell them right now. We should keep it for us for a while, see how everything works out and then we can tell them. I don't even know if we are allowed to date" She stated.

"It's not really forbidden, though the couple may have to prove that they are able to keep being professional when they are at work, but the "may" means for 99.9 % couples have to prove that they are able to be professional."

"Sounds great," Alex murmured sarcastically and shook her head smiling when he looked at her rather confused and kissed him. "That's what I love about you, you know, your little issue with sarcasm." she said and he gave her a peck on her lips.

"Therefore I love everything about you" Spencer said and nestled his face in her neck. He kissed her there, causing her to shudder and turn her head.

"No you don't, you little sycophant " Alex kissed him once more while he just shrugged his shoulders.

"But I'm your little sycophant. I love you." he said pulled her back against his chest and wrapped his arms around her while she giggled.

"Yes you are and I love you too." she said and leaned back into his arms closing her eyes, enjoying the feeling of true love in her heart which she had missed for so long.

* * *

**AN: So finally I managed to get them together ! Special thanks to NarcissaMinerva for reviewing you're great !.**

**The next Chapter contains some leaps in time, like how they hide it from the team for example and then I will let my inner UnSub gain the upper hand, so try to stay with me a little longer, it'll be worthwhile !**

**Leave a review if you want  
**


	9. The Beginning

He watched her as she cried it was music to his ears, she wriggled on the floor like a fish on land, it was amusing to watch. She was dirty from their hide and seek game what funny game it had been, he had taken her but hadn't liked it because she had been taken before by someone else. He looked around, whom would he take down with him? He decided quickly, she looked to the ground like they all were supposed to do when he approached them, she never talked back, she wasn't his first but the most obedient.

"Sarah...come." she nodded and followed his order and walked down the stairs, it was dark like the night. She went in first, he could hear the muffled screaming increase, it was quite loud but then muffled even more when she pushed her down in the mattress she tried to struggle, but the chains were a little stronger. He grinned and reached for the soldering iron.

"Pray" he told her and she fought even more.

"Hold her down!" he said to Sarah and the woman pushed her down even harder but pulled the gag out of her mouth, immediately she screamed.

"Please let me go! Please! Why are you doing this?" Melodie cried and then screamed out loud when he started to burn her.

"Stop, please stop!"

"I SAID PRAY!" he yelled.

"No! Please stop! Please let me go I wanna go home! I wanna go please, please!" she kept screaming when he continued to burn his mark on her.

"Make her shut up" he ordered and Sarah pushed the girls face in the mattress, while he continued his work, he loved the sound of her screaming, of her fighting, but soon too soon she stopped. He did finish his job and then pulled her head up by her hair, her breathing was faint.

"Will you pray now?" he ask, she didn't answer so he looked at Sarah.

"Take her up and prepare her" he said and left before he called Ivan.

"She wasn't the right one...you need to get rid of her for me... I want this one girl...no HER!...I paid you! I don't want to wait for her forever!" he said and hung up. He wanted this one not these, they were not the right ones, he wanted her, she was perfect, he needed her! He knew she was the only one, she would be the special one, from the first moment he had seen her, he had to make her his. Her beautiful smile, her eyes shining with kindness, her hair sparkling like the sun and her body…oh her body with her cream colored skin when he only though of his fingers running across these smooth curves he lost it. Yes he had to have her soon.

* * *

They were still sound asleep at eight in the morning on this sunny August day, but suddenly the peace was interrupted by the sound of Spencer's alarm going off, he quickly turned around to turn it off, yawned and stretched his arms a little before he looked over to Alex who was still asleep. When they had no Case, before half past eight no Alarm in the world could wake her...maybe there was one, slowly and carefully he pulled the covers down and exposed her bare back to him, he smiled and began to kiss up her spine to her neck. Alex gave a pleasant sound, rolled on her back and he started to kiss his way down to her breasts.

"Good Morning Love...we should to get up." he murmured against her breast.

"And when we should get up...why are we about to have sex?" she asked and ran her fingers through his hair as he caressed her breasts, causing her to moan.

"I thought it would be a nice way to wake you." he said and grinned against her skin.

"Good tho- Mmm...is the door still locked?" she asked and pulled him up to kiss him fiercely.

"Sure it is" he responded and would let himself be pushed on his back by her. After they had made passionate love, they took a shower and went downstairs where Ethan sat on the Sofa and watched TV.

"Good Morning!" said Alex and kissed her son's forehead while Spencer slumped down next to him and ruffled through Ethan's hair.

"Hey kiddo since when have you been awake?" asked Spencer.

"Don't know a little!" he said not taking his eyes off of the cartoon he watched as he fought off Reid's hands, because said continued to mess with his hair. Of Course this led to another round of "wrestling" between the two of them, Alex just watched and shook her head in amusement.

"I'll go and make breakfast...just be careful and don't break that lamp again!" she called over her shoulder. When she had made some breakfast she called them and two hands pulled her back by her waist. Alex turned around and stood on her toes to kiss him, Spencer led his hands slide around her and pulled her even closer.

"Oh come on! Not in the kitchen you two, that's where some people want to eat" Kat grumbled and threw a kitchen towel at them, before she took a cup of coffee and sat down, they separated and Spencer grinned when Alex rolled her eyes. Kat then took a sip of her coffee and covered Ethan's ears with her hands.

"And could you two be a little quieter the next time? At least so you won't wake others in this house? Because a locked door, doesn't mean no sound gets out you're lucky the little man felt the desire to get up early and watch cartoons!" she said and laughed when their cheeks turned red.

"Err...sure" replied Alex slightly embarrassed, Spencer rubbed his neck and didn't know what to say and "Sure the next time me and your mom are having sex we'll try to be quieter" seemed to be also a little out of place.

"What's so funny? I wanna laugh too!" Ethan said when he had pushed Kat's hands away and his sister gave a very unladylike snort.

"Kat don't do that, it sounds like a rhinoceros with a flu" said Alex and threw the kitchen towel back at her daughter, who crouched but slid off the chair with an surprised _Whoa_ Spencer and Alex tried to bit down they laugher but failed miserably and Ethan as her brother simply laughed out loud.

"Yeah, yeah just laugh don't see if I'm hurt or help me up!" Kat mumbled and Spencer quickly helped her up so she could sent her Mother a mocked glare as she had to grin herself, it must have been funny.

"Well...we have a day off, so how about if we do something together today?" suggested Alex.

"Cool! Could we go to Six Flags America? Pretty, pretty please!?" Ethan instantly begged, Alex and Spencer looked at each other and then at Kat.

"If I can finish my coffee and if I'll get to ride at least one round on a rollercoaster I choose with this Mister over there, then I have nothing against it!¨ she said and pointed at Spencer with a wide grin on her Lips.

"I'll probably regret this but...I'll do it" he answered and already regretted it when he saw that Kat's grin only widened.

"Okay then we will go there!" Alex said and Kat and Ethan cheered while Spencer kissed her again.

"If that isn't going to be fun" he mumured and Alex laughed.

"You have no Idea!" she answered smiling and gave him another kiss. Two and a half hours later they were ready to go, when her cell rang.

"Blake?".

"Hi Alex it's me you need to come in, Case-Time" Alex groaned out in frustration.

"Are you kidding me? It was my day off and we were just about to leave for a Theme Park...damn" she said and cursed this Case already.

"Oh no...I'm sorry but it's really urgent." Garcia said apologetically.

"It's okay I'll come, you can leave Spencer out he's here with me, I'll tell him and we will come as soon as we can." with that she hung up after Garcia gave her okay.

"Hey what is it?" asked Spencer when he came down with Ethan.

"We have a Case..." before Spencer could say anything Kat interrupted him.

"Oh great why didn't we thought of that immediately, didn't you say it was your day off? Come on we haven't done anything together lately, this was actually a real cool Idea!" Kat said angrily.

"I know but it's urg-"

"It's always urgent mom! There is never going to be a Case which isn't urgent!"

"We aren't going to the Theme Park are we?" Ethan asked and Spencer sighed before he went down on one knee.

"No buddy, Mom and I have to go to work I'm sorry."

"Somebody needs your help…it's okay!" he said and smiled a little, but they saw how sad he was that they were not able to go to the Theme Park.

"Hey when we are back I promise you, we will go there okay? And we always keep our promises!" he said and Ethan nodded.

"Okay!" he said and Kat rolled her eyes. Alex and Spencer packed their things and then went down to say goodbye.

"We'll be back as soon as we can okay? I love you Ethan." Alex said and gave him a kiss, also Spencer said goodbye to him while Alex walked over to Kat.

"Don't apologies it's your job...that sometimes just makes you feel not so important."

"You know that is not true Kat!" Alex said but Kat just shook her head.

"Yeah of course...bye Mom, bye Spence!" she said and went upstairs, Alex sighed and Spencer kissed and hugged her close.

"You know how she is, she'll cool off Honey give her some time" he said.

"I know, let's go, as soon as we go the sooner we'll be back" she said and gave Ethan one more kiss before they left and drove to the BAU. When Alex parked in the parking lot she held Reid back, leaned in and kissed him passionately, he laid his hand on her cheek and deepened the kiss, then pulled back after a while.

"What was that for?" he asked with a grin on his lips, when Alex would only let go reluctantly.

"I won't be able to do this for a whole day maybe more, so I want something to get me through the day" she said.

"Really? Then let me give you a little something" he said and kissed her again, led his hands wander and pulled her as close as possible as they were still in the car. They kissed for a while and then broke apart.

"As much as I enjoy this, I don't think it would be a good Idea to walk in there and look like we've petted...I love you Spence" Alex said and kissed him again this time it was only a small kiss and he intertwined their fingers and kiss her cheek.

"I love you too Allie you don't know how much!" he said and smiled before they both got out and hurried up into the Bullpen and then to the Conference Room. They were the last ones to arrive and when Spencer opened the door of the Conference Room for her, she smiled and winked at him.

"So hello my favorite Profilers today it won't take you far away but sadly it's a bad one, really...three teenage girls were abducted here in Virginia, Melodie Bauders fifteen, Valarie Fross sixteen and Katie Benson fourteen. The first was Melodie she lived near Abingdon and was taken 48 hours her body was found beside cornfield and hung at a street sign, but she was already dead by then. She had multiple burns all over her body, there were ligature marks on her wrists from chains and signs of sexual assault were also found...COD was hanging" said Garcia and clicked through the pictures.

"Valerie lived in Roanoke and was reported missing five days after Melodie was found, though she was probably abducted three days after they had found Melodie, but her parents thought she had been with a friend, because they had an argument, but when she didn't come home to visit the grandparents they called said friend, Valerie never arrived there, she was held for 50 hours and she...was found hanging in the tree in front of her boyfriend's house. ME said that she too was already dead when she was hung in the tree. She also had been burned and chained; signs of sexual assault were also found on her body." Garcia said and looked away when the picture of the girl hanging in the tree came up.

"The last victim Katie was only missing for 27 hours, she went missing one day after Valerie had been found, a jogger found her this Morning in Charlottesville but she was burned less than the others...that's everything I have about her, luckily no pictures I don't have to see another dead girl today."

They all looked at the bodies and a cold shiver ran down Alex's back, this girls looked a lot like Kat! She immediately banned this thought from her head, this was bad enough but she didn't want to think of her daughter or this would become even worse. She didn't look at their faces; Valerie could have been Kat's sister except for the short platinum blond dyed hair instead of shoulder-length natural blond.

"Is that a cross on their backs?" spoke Morgan and pulled Alex out of her thoughts.

"Yes, it was made by a soldering iron also on all their bodies the same Bible quote was found, Judges 19,24 "I will send them out for you to take them and do with them whatever you want" and as you can see he burned Valerie worse than the others, because though he had Melodie for 48 hours she was dead 36 hours after her abduction, Valerie was killed eight hours before the parents saw her...in their tree and I don't have anything on the last victim as the ME hasn't finished yet."

"So this is definitely about religion!" said Rossi.

"It is but if I remember correctly that's not the whole verse he quotes...so only this passage means something to him he sacrifices these girls like the man in the bible does but he's exaggerating, he's not only raping them but he tortures them with burning things." Reid said and sent Alex a side glance, of course he too saw the similarities of the girls with Kat and was nearly as worried about that fact as her, Spencer also knew that she was unable to look the girls in their faces.

"He speeds up, but why has he held Katie only for 27 hours?" JJ asked her colleagues.

"Maybe she died by accident or wasn't the one he wanted- he simply made a mistake." Rossi presumed.

"No I don't think so...he's not making mistakes, he had burned her with the quote, if she had been the wrong he wouldn't have done that." Alex answered.

"Okay, he speeds definitely up, JJ you and I will drive to Abingdon, Morgan and Rossi you're going to drive to Roanoke and Blake and Reid you'll take the latest victim in Charlottesville." said Hotch and they nodded before they packed the files and prepared to leave.

"Are you okay Allie?" Spencer asked when they drove out of Quantico and laid his hand on her right thigh.

"Huh? Oh- yes I'm fine." she said and sent him a smile.

"I can see it too you know...but these girls have nothing to do with Kat Honey."

"I know...I know but they really look like her, or she looks like them and I don't know I'm worried...he is working from the south to the north and what if he's going to hunt in Alexandria? or DC?" he gave her thigh a gentle squeeze and then bend down to search through his bag.

"What are you doing?" asked Alex.

"Well I know you're worried and I am too, so I'm going to phone Kat!" he said and already put the phone on speaker.

"Gee Spence I'm not in talking mood, what do you want?"

"Kat I know you don't want to talk to me right now, but please listen we're on this Case and-and I don't feel good about this one, please Kat if I ever begged you because of something then I do now, this is really serious Kat. Please take care of yourself when you leave the house, make sure nobody follows you and please don't go on party's not even with Joe or Freddy or Chris not even with all of them, it's not save and make sure all doors are locked ! And the windows, do you understand me?"

When her mother had started speaking Kat sat up in her bed on which she had listen to music and regrettingthat she again hadn't said goodbye to her mother properly. But something in the voice of her mother caused something in the back of her head to "wake", it was the same thing telling you that you were in danger when you were walking through a dark alley or a park alone. This really was serious.

"Mom what's going on?" she asked.

"I don't know Kat...but please I'm really worried something could happen to you, please do what I said."

"Okay Mom, I won't go partying and I'll make sure all doors and windows are locked...I love you take care of yourself, you too Spencer."

"We will...we love you too, tell Ethan we love him too okay?"

"I promise...bye" said Kat and hung up.

"You feel better?" asked Spencer and put the phone away.

"I do, thank you...I just hope we catch this bastard before he gets near my daughter." she answered.

"He won't because we'll catch him" Spencer stated and kissed her cheek.

When they arrived in Charlottesville they instantly drove to the Police Station and got out.

"Hello you must be the FBI Agents my name is Albert Smith I'm the Case leader here" said a dark haired male Detective, he looked like he was in his late forties with a friendly yet small smile and a noticeable intelligence in his eyes, he held out his hand on which a large scar could be seen.

"Hello I'm Agent Blake and this is Dr. Reid" Alex said and they shook hands.

"Well follow me, they told me you need a separate room, also Abingdon and Roanoke PD called, this guy wanders through the State real quick...and he already killed two other girls and burned them all like this? My- I never thought we had to handle something like that." he said.

"Yes, we're going to do everything to find this man, could you start with the Geological Profile Reid? I'll go to the Crime Scene" she asked, he nodded and went off to another officer and asked for a map before he started to search through the files. Meanwhile Alex drove to the Crime Scene with Detective Smith. He stopped at the park entrance; they got out and walked through the undergrowth until they saw where Katie had laid on the earth, there were many leaves around the area of her body.

This time she didn't hang anywhere like the others even though here were the perfect conditions for that with all the trees, Alex then looked around, she could imagine Katie how she had laid there like she was asleep, the leaves had most likely covert her body like a blanked her hands resting on her leaf covert chest.

"He's showing remorse..." she said quietly and could feel the questioning look from Detective Smith on her when she said this.

"Remorse? I'd say the last thing this son of a bitch feels is remorse!"

"But he does...the other girls had been- draped like they didn't care, they were hung like they were not human like they didn't deserve respect, but here...they covered her draped her like she is sleeping, the one of them who left her here did feel remorse." she explained.

"What do you mean the one of them?" asked Detective Smith, he already knew that he wouldn't like the answer.

"There is more than one Unsub... maybe even more than two."

Alex then texted Hotch and Morgan that there were at least two Unsub's, she turned and walked back, she had to wait what the ME would say and she had to do the one thing she hated most, especially in this Case, talk to the parents. When she arrived at the House Alex was surprised to see Spencer waiting for her.

"What are you doing here?" asked Alex together they walked up the path to the nice, ordinary, suburban house.

"Are you really thinking that I would let you do this alone? Seriously we are together after all" she gave him a sad smile and took his hand while he gave her a quick peck on the lips she squeezed his hand for a second before she let go.

"Do you have something on the Geological Profile?" she asked and waited at the door.

"Yeah I think so, Abingdon and Roanoke ME called both found the same kind of earth on the bodies that is typical for East Tennessee- "

"Tennessee?" Alex asked a bit surprised "So they abduct them in Abingdon, Roanoke and Charlottesville, bring them somewhere in Tennessee and then back to their hometown...they sure don't want anyone to know where they are and have to be extremely mobile at least one of them- there are at least two, maybe the dominate one stays in Tennessee and makes the less dominate one or ones go hunt." Alex presumed.

"True...we should talk to them now maybe they can help us." answered Reid and rang the doorbell. A policeman opened and nodded when they lifted their badges.

"They're in the kitchen." he said and led them to the kitchen where the parents sat, the woman cried her heart out at the chest of her husband who stroked over her back and stared into nothing.

"Mr. and Mrs. Benson? We're the FBI Agent Blake and Dr. Reid" Alex introduced them and Mrs. Benson sat up and whipped her face, while it took her husband a Moment longer before he looked up at them.

"H-hello" said Mr. Benson.

"Mr. and Mrs. Benson, we are very sorry for your loss" she began and sat down in front of them, "I know this hard and painful...but we need to ask you some questions about Katie, it might help us find the people who took your daughter from you...would you may allow the Officer to show Dr. Reid Katie's room?" she asked and the mother nodded. Reid laid his hand on her shoulder for a brief second and then followed the Officer.

"Okay, could you please tell me when you saw Katie or spoke to her for the last time?"

"The day before y-yesterday around three...she went over to a friend and we-we too were out with friends when she came back home...we only got back in the middle of the night s-she was already gone!" Mrs. Benson sobbed.

"Did Katie's behavior changed in the last couple of days or weeks? Was she scared, or maybe quieter then usually?" asked Alex she hated it to dig into their life's ask about everything that maybe hadn't been okay or they hadn't seen.

"No, no she was like always bubbly and happy-...why did he take our Baby-Girl? S-she was the n-nicest girl, she always helped everyone! Why Katie?" cried Mrs. Benson and her husband pulled her close again.

"Was somebody angry with your daughter maybe not only teenagers but adults?" asked Alex after Mrs. had calmed down.

"No, there were some girls at the school which whom she and friends had problems with but...nothing like this!"

"Why didn't we notice something Agent Blake?" asked Mr. Benson tears also streamed down his face.

"Nothing really nothing that happened was you fault...these people have done this before, they were professionals, they knew how to get the most cautious and intelligent Children and Teenagers to trust them, believe their story to help them...or even manipulate them so they won't talk to anyone about it, including the parents and I promise you that I won't stop trying to find these monsters until they are locked up for the rest of their lives, they will get what they deserve." she said.

"Do you have children Agent Blake?" asked Mrs. Benson and it took her a second to answer.

"Yes... I have a son and a daughter…she's only a year older than Katie."

"Why are you here then?...Go back home and protect your kids!" she said and for a second Alex wanted to do nothing more, go out to the car and drive back home, take her children lock all the doors and never let them out of her sight until these men were dead or locked up. But she knew better.

"I'm here because if I want to protect them, especially my daughter, I can do best if I help my team in finding them, this is the best way to protect them and get justice for your daughter, because she didn't deserve this and the people who did this need to be punished for what they did." Alex explained.

"Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me, I may need to come back and ask you more questions, If you remember anything that might be help, don't hesitate to call, here...you're not alone, you can phone there anytime and if you need someone to talk to, you can also call me...my number is on the back, call day or night." she said and laid her hand on theirs before she stood up and went to the door, Spence came down too.

"And?" she asked when he had closed the door.

"I may have found the reason why they had her only for 27 hours...I found an asthma spray on her night stand and one in the drawer...she probably had an asthma attack."

"God...this girl seemed to be such a sweetheart, she clearly didn't deserve this...this time they draped her like she was sleeping judging the amount of leaves they probably covert her, they start to show remorse at least one of them does." she said and they walked to their car.

"I still don't get the connections between these girls, they live in different towns, different ages, different hobby's, personality's they are different at everything except how they look...they all are blond, have more or less the same build, but all are slim and have dark eyes" Alex thought out loud. Before he could say something his phone rang and he picked up.

"Hello?...okay, yes we will handle it thank you...bye." he already hung up and Alex sent him a questioning glance.

"It was Detective Smith the ME called him, she finished the autopsy of Katie." he said and Alex signed.

"Well, okay" she drove to the ME with the directions Spencer gave her and while they waited a little they called Morgan or in Spencer's case Hotch if they had anything knew and updated them on what they had found out.

"Agents Blake and Reid?" asked an elder woman with bushy brown grey hair and big glasses.

"Yes, you must be Dr. Thomas?" asked Alex and they shook hands.

"Right, follow me...I was told that this is a serial of murders? I laid everything aside and started with her, if you don't catch this one, believe me I will." said Dr. Thomas when they followed her to the autopsy room, when she lifted the covers Alex closed her eyes and swallowed. Katie looked like she too could be Kat's sister and barely looked like she was fourteen more like twelve or eleven, which made it only worse.

"Are you alright?" Alex looked up at her and nodded.

"Yes I- just have a daughter about the same age, she looks like her...what do you have?" asked Alex then.

"She was already dead twelve hours after her abduction the Cause of Death was part asthma attack after severe stress, and fright...they pretty much scared her to death and they suffocated her with a belt or something like that from cow leather. She had some burning marks on her stomach and chest, but the biggest was the quote and half the Cross on her back, she had some dirt on her legs and hands don't know where this comes from though 'cause it's not from around here! Beside that she was only hit one time on the back of her head...one "good" thing, they didn't rape her." she stated and showed them some of the burnings.

"Any drugs in her system? Or medication?" asked Reid.

"Indeed she was under a big dose of hydromorphone, it would have knocked us all completely out, it wears off pretty fast but as I could still find it I think they gave it to her to stop her attack" she said, Alex and Reid looked at each other.

"They would never give her something to less her pain, their sadists...or maybe the one who draped Katie like that gave it to her, the same one who starts to feel remorse, maybe the others didn't knew that this one gave it to her." Reid thought out loud.

"Must have been this way" Alex answered.

"Thanks Dr. Thomas"

"I only did my job, just find them!" she said and they left with the file.

"Wait here" Alex said suddenly and ran back, "Doctor Thomas?" she asked and the woman lifted her head to look at her, Katie's face was still visible.

"Yes?"

"I just have a question...did she suffer a lot?" the woman looked her in the eyes and then down on Katie.

"Based on the time of death and the strong medication...she was frightened, must have had some pain, trouble breathing before she got the hydromorphone, but afterwards and at her actual death...no she didn't, she felt no pain and most likely just slept off." Doctor Thomas explained.

"Thank you." Alex already turned around and left again Spence waited on the exact same spot where she had left him and she held up her hand to stop him from asking.

"Things a mother needs to know!" she only said and walked past him.

They drove back to the Police Station and went straight to the little Office and looked at the Map Spencer had marked the Crime Scenes and Houses of the Victims.

"They must be Surrogates for them, a wife, mother or daughter else I can't draw the Line between them..." she said.

"I agree, I'll call Garcia maybe she got something from the phones." said Spencer and dialed the number of their bubbly Tech-Queen.

"If that isn't my favorite genius team, what do you want?" Garcia said in a sing-song voice when she picked up.

"Hey Garcia did you find anything on the phones of the victims might connecting them?" asked Reid.

"If you think of dirty or suspicious messages I have to say that I found nothing, they were all clean, but someone hacked all three phones at the exact same time two days before they were abducted" she said "But the only thing he did was to download the last messages before they were abducted."

"Okay, then we've to check her phone for the messages." he said and Alex nodded, then she got an Idea.

"Wait Garcia! I- this sounds crazy but I'm a little worried, could you please phone Andy Henrickson of Groveton PD and tell him to send an Officer to our house, say I'm worried because of this Case, and the Officer shouldn't be able to be seen from the house okay?" she said with worry in her voice.

"Okay...think of it as done, Garcia out!" she said and hung up.

"You really think this is necessary? Kat is going to freak out." he said.

"I really don't care as long as someone is there to watch them, I'm not only worried because of her and I trust her I do but-" he interrupted her when he took her hand an squeezed it.

"You really don't have to explain it to me, I'm also glad that you send an Officer over I just say Kat will give you a not exactly friendly call" he stated and smiled at her as Alex sighed.

"Yeah I know...let's go and see what her last messages have been".

Back at the Benson house they went up in Katie's room and looked through her cell phone. "Here the last massage was from a Kaley: "Hey cutie I`m waiting hurry !" and a dozen smileys" Alex said and showed him the message.

"That's her best friend Kaley Jonson" answered Reid and watched as Alex scrolled up but then suddenly there were no more messages, they shared a glance and Alex clicked though the contacts in Katie's phone.

"I don' know anyone especially girls having such a minimum of messages with their best friend." she mumbled and then found the reason, there were two Kaley's but one was written with and ai.

"He hacked in and pretended to be her best friend, he copied the last messages and knew she wouldn't notice the i missing in the name!" said Spencer and phoned Garcia, "Hey Garcia could you trace this number back?" he.

"How do you think you're talking to? Give it to me G-Man" she answered and he told her the number but moments later their hopes were destroyed, "Sorry guys it's a prepaid cell phone".

"Thanks anyway" said Alex before Spencer hung up.

"It would've been too easy " she said and turned around only to look at Mrs. Benson.

"Have y-you found something?" she asked and looked around in the room, Alex saw the tears before they rolled down the cheeks of the woman, who just lost her only child.

"Let's go downstairs Mrs. Benson" she said and the woman nodded, not able to stand in the room of her dead daughter any longer.

"You're going to find him aren't you?" she asked as soon as they stepped into the living room, Alex hesitated for a second.

"We do everything we can, I know this is not what you want to hear but we all are doing our best and we won't stop until we found them…I talked to the ME and she said that…Katie didn't suffer." she saw how Mrs. Benson swallowed and in the next moment the woman cried on her shoulder, it took her a moment but then Alex laid her arms around her. She knew this was news were the most painful but also the most relieving ones.

"I-I'm sorry." Mrs. Benson then sobbed and let go of her.

"It's okay you don't have to apologize".

It was one in the morning and they both sat still in their room of the Police Station, except for them only four other Officers and Detective Smith were there. The most frustrating thing though was that they still weren't anything nearer in catching these men. They had talked to all people knowing Katie and still had nothing and after their last call Alex and Spencer knew that the others had also nothing new which wasn't any less frustrating.

"Okay…she was last seen when she went home from a friend, then was lured outside by the UnSub or UnSub's who took her somewhere in Tennessee, they torture her she has the attack and one of them tries to help her with the hydromorphone's which killed her…they drove her back here and hid her in the park " said Alex and yawned before she rubbed her burning eyes.

"Indeed…come on Honey let's drive to the hotel and get some sleep, we can continue tomorrow morning." Spencer said and took her hand, she sighed and nodded.

"You're right let's go." she answered and they got up and left the Police Station. But Alex was so tired that Spencer had to drive and when they were at their hotel were Spence unlocked the door Alex really had to force her eyes to stay open for a few more seconds. She didn't even bothered to change properly she just brushed her teeth and slipped under the covers in her underwear. Spencer not less tired then her followed her lead and laid down next to her before he closed his eyes.

Alex swore it was only a second and not an hour before her cell rang again, she gripped it and held it to her ear without opening her eyes.

"Blake?" she muttered tired.

"Hey sorry that I have to wake you, we have another abducted girl." Hotch said. Immediately Alex sat straight up, woke Spencer as she had slept with her head on his chest and fear shot through her whole body.

"Where?" she asked ' _Please don't say Alexandria, please don't say Alexandria_ ' she begged in her thoughts.

"Manassas, Amy Clark seventeen." he answered and Alex sighed in relief even though another girl had been abducted… but it wasn't her daughter.

"We're on our way."

"Good, the rest of us are on the way too we'll meet at the local PD" he said and hung up.

"What's up?" asked Spencer when he sat up beside her and laid a hand on her shoulder.

"Another Girl has been kidnapped in Manassas".

**AN:**

**Well another Chapter I hope you like it! Sorry for the late update but I was rather busy.**

**Review and tell me what you think !**


	10. Gone

They were the first ones to arrive at the new crime scene, half the street seemed to be up and watched as the Officers and CSI walked around, "This one looks bad!" said Alex when she stopped and Spencer nodded, the two ambulance cars weren't a good sign. They got out and walked over to the Police banner when an Officer held them up.

"Excuse me but you have to leave this is a-"

"We know that very well, that's why we're here, SSA Blake my colleague Dr. Reid" Alex said as they held their badges up, he quickly muttered an apology and lifted the banner.

"Sorry but I wasn't informed that this was already serial" he said.

"This is a serial of abducted teenage girls" Alex answered.

"Yeah heard about that but there, except for the girls, nobody was killed-"

"Wait…who was killed?"

"The parents Samantha and Roy Clark they were executed, their five year old son David hid in a closet and probably watched the whole thing. He's in total shock. Hasn't spoken a word to anybody and his older sister was abducted. Nobody has seen or heard anything" he said and Spencer pulled out his phone to tell the others that this time the parents had been killed.

They walked to the living room where she could see Samantha and Roy Clark laying on the floor, one shot through each their heads, she noticed something else first they were holding hands and second the blood beside Samantha Clark was smeared around as if…a little person had been kneeling in it. "Where is the boy?" asked Alex and looked away, this wasn't exactly something she needed to see right now.

"Over here" an Officer said and led her to the kitchen. The little boy sat at the kitchen table, he wore his pajamas, had his legs pressed to his chest and blood on his hands and knees. He only sat on the chair and stared at the table. Then the Officer reached out.

"Don't!" she tried to stop him but he already laid a hand on his shoulder the boy gave a loud shriek and slide off of the chair and in a corner of the room. She gestured him to stay away and slowly walked over and kneeled down beside him.

"David...David it's all gonna be alright! Nobody is going to hurt you okay? You are save now, my name is Alex and I'm with the FBI and I won't let anyone hurt you...I know you're very scared David, but the bad men are gone they can't do anything to you" she said and after a moment he looked up at her and she smiled a little, before she laid her hand on his shoulder and noticed how cold he was, she waved the Officer over.

"Could you bring me a blanket?" she asked and he nodded before he left only to come back with a blanket seconds later and leave again, she wrapped David up and wanted to lean back but he pulled her back and held her hand.

"Do you have a badge?" he asked quietly and she nodded.

"Yes, you wanna see it? Why don't we look at it over here?" she asked and nodded over to kitchen table.

"Okay" he mumbled and stood up, they sat down at the kitchen table where Alex pulled the blanket a little bit tighter around him and then showed him her badge.

"And that's a real FBI badge?¨ he asked and reached out but when his fingertip was only millimeters away from her badge, he seemed to notice his blood covert hand and quickly pulled back and tears started to roll down his cheeks.

"Come on let's wash your hands okay?" she asked and when he nodded, Alex lifted him up and sat him beside the sink, so he could wash the blood of his parents away, when the blood was gone he turned the water off and she handed him a towel but in this Moment Reid came in and David clung to her tightly and buried his face in her shoulder.

"It's okay David, it's okay, that's my friend and Colleague Spencer and he is here to help, he's not going to hurt you sweetie¨ she said calm and slowly he began to relax and look at Spencer who smiled at him, when Alex lifted him down and sat him on the Chair again.

He saw the badge and looked at her, "Can I touch it?" he asked and Alex smiled.

"Of course you can" she said and watched for a second as he traced his finger across her badge and Alex then glanced at Spencer, he looked at her sadly and shook his head. He bent down and whispered in her ear:

"Amy's dead...they found her nine miles from here, single shot to the head" Alex closed her eyes "You want to-".

"No...I'll stay and ask him some questions...I don't want to see that" she said and he nodded.

"Okay I'll go and meet Rossi and Morgan there...love you" he whispered and left the room after he smiled at David. Alex sighed and then looked at David, now this little man was alone, he had nobody, his parents and sister were dead, killed by cruel people who were out of control and she wanted nothing more than to kill them, not quick, but slow and painful.

"David...do you think you could help me?" she asked and he looked at her.

"How?"

"I want to help you, but therefor I need some help from you...I know you're really scared, but could you tell me what happened tonight honey?" she asked he looked down at his hands and then nodded.

"Good...I'll ask you some questions and you'll answer them as good as you can okay?" he nodded again, "What happened tonight after you went to bed?"

"Amy woke me and told me to be real quiet...she held a Hand over my mouth and pushed me down and she told me to hide...so I hid in the closet like I do when we're playing...she said she would come too but she didn't" he said.

"What happened when you have been in the closet David?"

"I saw how a men carried Amy outside and I heard Mommy crying and Daddy was really scared too...the man said he should be quiet, then the other came back and they talked...but I couldn't understand them" he said and looked at her with watery eyes.

"Why couldn't you understand what they say?" she asked.

"They didn't speak English" he answered.

"And...What happened next?" Alex could imagine what happened next, but she needed to hear it.

"I heard how they counted then two loud bangs, they said something in that other language and then the door closed...I came out and saw Mommy and Daddy, I tried to wake them, but they wouldn't wake up! I really tried I really did!" he then started to cry again she swallowed and hugged him; he instantly clung tight to her.

"I know David and you did everything right...its okay you know you did nothing wrong it wasn't your fault" she said, Alex saw that he glanced nervous to the door to the living room, he couldn't stay here. "Come on David" she said and stood up, he followed her actions and they walked to the door before they could walk in Alex took off her Blazer and held it so, that David couldn't see his dead parents. Once they were out she put on her blazer again and turned to a Police Officer.

"Excuse me, have you contacted a family member?" she asked and the man nodded.

"Yes there is aunt in Leesburg she's on her way" he answered.

"Okay, I'll drive to the PD with him" Alex said and looked at David and smiled. While they drove to the Police Station, David was quiet and looked at his hands and nearly dozed off. When they were at the PD Alex was greeted by the captain.

"You must be Agent Blake? My name is Thomas Stinson I'm the Captain…my Officers told me you'd come" he said as he approached them, David gripped her hand tight and stepped behind her as they shook hands.

"Yes I'm Agent Blake and this is David Clark, could you maybe show me somewhere where he could sleep? He is awfully tiered and I'll stay with him until his aunt gets here" she said the Captain nodded and then smiled at David.

"Follow me, he can sleep in Detective Beck's Office, Halloran, bring a blanket to Becks Office" he said the Officer nodded and walked away as they followed the Captain into an Office with a little sofa.

"Thank you" Alex said and he left, "You're save here David…why don't you sleep a little" she said and he nodded, the Officer brought her the blanket which she laid over David.

"Are going to stay?" he asked quietly and Alex nodded.

"I won't go anywhere David, when you wake up I'll be here, promise" she said and laid her on his shoulder.

"Are you a Mom too?" she smiled.

"Yes I am, I too have a son he's only a year older than you and a daughter she's fifteen" Alex said "And now, you need sleep" she added.

"Could you tell me a story?" she thought for a moment Ethan had loved 'Where the Wild things are' and thanks to reading it to him every evening she probably could still manage to tell it.

"Sure, my son loved this story…" Alex said and started; David fell asleep after half the story.

Alex sat there and watched him, whilst she tried to put everything together. 'Why did they kill Amy that fast? She was their type, it didn't make any sense'. Then the door opened and a woman walked in she had to be David's aunt as she cried and looked like Samantha Clark. "Are you David's aunt?" she asked and the woman nodded.

"Yes, Mary King…what happened? M-my sister and her husband are- dead?" she asked.

"Yes…I'm sorry for your loss Ma'am; could I ask you some questions?"

"Yes, but what is with my nice?" Alex hesitated for a moment causing Mary to shake her head "Oh no…" she swallowed and then whipped the tears away. "I'll help you with everything I can…but I don't think I can do much…the last time I talked to them was two years ago" she said.

"Why haven't you been in contact? You don't live that far away".

"I worked in LA and only moved back here with my husband three months ago and the last time I-I saw them was Christmas three years ago and-and Sam…my sister and I had an argument" she said.

"Okay…thank you, I-maybe you could wait here and let David sleep, he hadn't had much sleep and…I think and Officer could bring you to the house and help you pick up some clothes for him" Mary nodded.

"Yeah…I'll do that" she answered and Alex sent her back to the house with an officer.

"Alex" she turned around and saw Rossi walking over, looking nearly as tired as her.

"Hey Rossi…you got something from the second victim?".

"Nothing that might help us and you?" he asked but she shook her head.

"No…except that this time the parents were killed too the only one who survived was their five year old son, David, hid in the closet and watched the whole thing…only thing that is useful is that we need look for two none native american men" she answered.

The two of them spent the rest of the morning with talking to the friends of the parents and Amy, as they had no grandparents or other relatives beside the aunt. But they all had nothing useable; it was like there was no connection at all. They were surrogates. But for whom?

In the meantime Hotch and JJ had arrived too and JJ helped Spencer and Morgan at the Crime Scene while Hotch came to help them and was currently talking to the Captain.

"How long have you slept?" asked Rossi, when Alex rubbed her burning eyes after the last friend of Amy had left the Investigation Room.

"Huh? Barely an hour...and you?" she yawned and cracked her neck.

"Don't do that! That's gross! And luckily we had a little bit more sleep than you guys" he said and Alex wanted to answer but in this moment they both heard a scream coming from Detective Becks Office.

"David!" Alex jumped up and ran to the room when she stepped in she saw a perplexed man standing beside the sofa and David hiding behind it.

"Who are you?" she asked.

"Wha-I'm Detective Beck, what is this kid doing in my Office? And who are you?" he asked back.

"I'm SSA Blake" she answered short and pushed him out of the way. "David! David it's alright I'm here, you're save nobody's gonna hurt you okay?" he clung to her again and Alex lifted him on the sofa. "This man won't hurt you! This is only his office Honey" she said and he nodded.

"I'm sorry" he whispered.

"You don't have to be sorry…your aunt waited and she can take you with her okay?" he nodded and she looked at Detective Beck.

"Could you get Mrs. King?" she asked and he nodded.

"Hey David…" Mary said as she stepped in "Do you remember me?" she asked, after a moment David nodded.

"Mom showed me pictures saying your aunt Mary" his aunt smiled and held her hand out he took it and stood up they all walked out and suddenly he pulled on his aunts hand and whispered something in her ear when she bend down. David ran back to her and hugged her; Alex was a little surprised but smiled at him.

"Thank you" he said.

"You don't have to thank me David…Goodbye" said Alex and David ran back to his aunt and waved her Goodbye.

"Blake?" she turned and saw Hotch. "We're driving back to Quantico and continue the Investigation from there, the ME will send his report to us" she sighed.

"Okay" she got her bag and then drove back to Quantico with Rossi. On half the way there, her phone rang.

"Err could you maybe?" she asked as she was driving.

"Oh sure "Rossi then answered the call, putting it on speaker.

"Hello?"

"Hi Momma" Ethan said and Alex smiled.

Hey sweetie, why are you calling? Is everything alright?" she asked.

"Yeah, we had pizza for lunch! Kat said I should call because you didn't answered our call last night" Alex narrowed her eyes, they had called?

"Oh I'm sorry but I was pretty busy at work, won't happen again! And you were having pizza for lunch? I thought Kat would cook" she said.

"She did but it burned. It was all black and we had to open all windows because it smelled icky!" he giggled and also Rossi had to bite down laugh but couldn't stop the grin. "When are you and Dad going to be home?".

Alex opened her mouth and blushed heavily when Rossi turned to her eyebrows raised and a wide grin on his lips.

"Err…I don't know exactly maybe tonight, but then I have to leave for work tomorrow, as for Dad, I don't know, I love you but I'm driving so I'll call you back sweetie Goodbye"

"Bye Mom, love you too" Ethan said and Alex quickly reached over to hang up. When Rossi continued to look at her with a wide grin Alex looked at him.

"W-what?"

"Dad? So there is someone knew in your life? Do we know him?" he asked smiling.

"Err…yeah and no-no I don't think so" Alex answered and tried to hide her blush. "Let's concentrate on the case and not my personal life okay?" she added and Rossi chuckled.

"Okay…just let me say that I'm happy for you".

"Thanks".

* * *

It was ten fifty in the middle of the night, but the team still sat in the conference room and were all frustrated that they had still no clue who these guys were, or how they picked out the girls or where they took them, nothing. "I still don't get why they killed Amy...she was their type, blonde, beautiful, kind...why kill her?" asked Rossi as they stared at the Board.

"I don't know, I mean they killed her before we even were at the crime scene" said Spencer and looked at Alex who simply stared at her Coffee Cup she got from Garcia and who hasn't spoken in quite a while. Since Manassas she was even more worried, it was barely an hour from where she lived and she couldn't shake this bad feeling off.

JJ also seemed to notice and laid a hand on Alex's shoulder but she didn`t even seem to notice that. "Hey Alex" finally she snapped out of her trance and looked up; all the others looked at her.

"Hey are you alright?" asked JJ.

"Huh? Oh- Yeah I'm fine" she said rubbed the bridge of her nose but nobody believed her.

"You've been up for almost 42 hours you, wanna go home?" asked Hotch.

"No I'm-...it's not the lack of sleep I'm worried...I'm sorry I didn't say it before but…I'm scared like hell, they all look like my daughter and they are just barely an hour away from where we life...and I can't shake this feeling off- " she stopped and Hotch nodded.

"It's okay Blake, why don't you call and make sure everything is okay, I'll send a patrol over just to be-" he stopped in midsentence when they all heard the ringing of a phone, it was Alex's. She narrowed her eyes and reached for it only to swallow when she saw the caller ID Home. She shared a look with Spencer, they had called some hours ago, why was Kat calling now? She then answered the call instantly putting it on speaker.

"Hello?"

"Mom-Mom...you need to come home!" they all could hear Kat's frightened, low tone and Alex sat straight up.

"Kat? Honey!? What's wrong?" she asked in a panicked tone.

"Mom...someone's in the house, two men, Mom I'm scared please come home" she answered, her heart raced. No, no, no! Not her daughter!.

"Honey, we're on our way, where are you and Ethan?" she asked and they all stood up and followed her as she ran to the elevators.

"We're hiding in your room behind your drawer...I think they have a gun" she said and could hear the tears streaming down her face.

"Get out! You need to figure a way out now Honey! Go over to Christi or anybody just get out okay? We're on our way" she said and they got in the car Hotch drove and she got in the seat beside him and Reid in the back JJ, Morgan and Rossi took another car.

"They're coming up! I can hear them Mom! Please come home, please I'm scared"

"I know, try to get out Kat!" said Alex her voice not less frightened than Kats, she knew what they would do to her, and what was going to happen to her son? They were pretty sure they didn't kill David because they didn't see where he had been hiding and were under time pressure.

She then could hear shouting in the background; sounding like Russian or something like that and then she heard Kat screaming.

"No get away! Let me go! Run Ethan, run!"

"Kat!? Kat!" Alex said panicked, blinked back tears and laid her hand over her mouth to avoid a sob from coming out, her hands shook like hell whilst she held the phone. "Kat? Can you hear me? Kat!?" she held her breath but then she answered.

"I'm okay I-I hit one of them with Ethan's Baseball bat I-I'm- I don't know where the other one is" she said.

"Stay on the phone okay? Don't hang up Sweetheart" she said and begged that they would get there in time, or that Kat and Ethan were able to get out. She talked quietly to her daughter as Hotch and the others drove to her house ignoring every speed limit. But then Kat didn't answer anymore. "Kat?" she asked again, they still had fifteen minutes to drive, even with Hotch putting the gas pedal to its limits.

"Wait a sec!" said Kat and she heard some rustling and she then heard her talking to Ethan. "Hey Shorty, you'll stay here okay? You'll say here until I call and say its save, stay here and hide in my drawer, okay Ethan? I love you Ethan I'll be back, I promise it's going to be okay, Mom is going to be here in a while" and Alex realized what she was about to do.

"No Kat! Stay with him, don't do this please!".

"I love you Mom" she said and Alex thought her heart would jump out of her chest because of her fear and she couldn't stop the tears anymore, than she heard him.

"Got you."

"No! Get the hell away from me! Let go, Stop!" they could hear them struggle, things broke, and they could hear every punch she received and how she fought back calling for help.

"You can fight like you want, we're gonna have you anyway" they heard her scream and also he gave a surprised yell then they heard what sounded like the phone dropped and loud thuds like someone fell down the stairs. Then there was a single gunshot.

"No! No Kat!? Kat, Baby!? No, Kat answer! Please" she yelled in the phone but she heard laughing, dark and cruel then a loud crack and nothing. She panted it was like she couldn't breathe, she just hear how her daughter was kidnapped and hadn't been able to do anything to help her. She hung up and tried again, nothing. Alex dialed Andy's number knowing that he had a Shift.

"Hey Alex what's up?" he answered.

"Andy? Where are you? You need to drive to my house, someone broke in and tries to kidnap Kat!"

"I'm on my way!" he said and hung up, this wasn't happening, this couldn't happen, this just couldn't she couldn't lose Kat again.

"Oh my God this can't be happening...not my daughter" she felt Spencer's hand on her shoulder and gripped it tight, they didn't care that Hotch was right beside them or the knowing glance he send them. This wasn't important. When Hotch veered into their street with screaming wheels they already saw two patrols standing there, even before the car stopped she got out and ran up to the house entrance. Before she even came near the house Andy ran out and held her back.

"No Alex, don't go in!"

"Let me go Andy! Where are Kat and Ethan? Let me go! I need to find them!" she shouted and tried to struggle out of his arms, whilst he tried to held her back but then Alex saw something on him that made her stop.

"Is this blood? Whose blood is this?!" She managed to fight herself out of his arms and ran inside. She was relieved and frightened at the same time when she saw the dead man in front of her staircase, the blood was smeared around but she didn't care.

"Kat!? Ethan?! Where are you? Kat! Kathrin! Oh my God No, no, no, no, no, no! Kat!? Ethan?" she screamed and ran in all the rooms but there was no sight of them she didn't notice the others searching around too. When Alex ran into her daughter's room and opened the drawer her heart stopped. It was empty. She searched through Ethan's and her own bedroom.

The covers of her bed had been bulled away; the lamp on her nightstand and the picture of Kat and Ethan lay on the floor broke. But what scared her more was the quite big stain of blood on her bed. Alex though she had to throw up and stumbled out of her bedroom and then back down the stairs to look in the guest bedroom.

They had to be here! They just had to! This couldn't have happened to them. But Morgan and JJ stopped her. "Get out of my way I need to- !" she looked at them with pleading eyes; she wanted them to tell her that this was only a nightmare that this wasn't true.

"Alex, they're not here..." Morgan said calm.

"No…no they're- they-...they never took the sibling! Where is my son!?" She asked loudly and looked away she didn't want to look at them. With a scream she swept the picture and the flowers off of the drawer beside her and broke down, kneeling in the pieces of broken glass sobbing, watching her breaking down like this, made everyone on the team hate these men with every inch of their bodies. They had to find them, now it was personal; the children of one of them had been kidnapped.

When Spencer had heard the scream, he ran inside and when he saw her, he hurried over to her and embraced her tight. JJ blinked back her own tears; this was not fair this shouldn't happen to her, not to Kat.

Morgan and JJ walked out giving Alex and Spencer a moment; they knew how close they were. Hotch and Rossi stood with the Detective, but something else made Morgan stop, there were little bloody foot patterns on the ground outside. These could only be from Ethan.

"Hey guys look at this!" he pointed down.

"Ethan might be still here!" said JJ and immediately they all started to search, around the house.

"Ethan! Ethan, you can come out its safe now! Ethan where are you?" called Morgan as he searched through the flowerbeds and let the light of his flash light wander. He turned back and saw a white foot behind a tree. "Ethan? It is me, Uncle Morgan, you can come out" he said but got no response, so he crawled behind the tree only too gasp when he saw a blood covert Ethan who was only in his pajamas.

"Ethan! Are you hurt!?" he asked and lifted him out from behind the tree.

"It's not mine" He said quietly.

"Okay come on. Let's get you to your Mom!" he said and laid his jacket around him, then JJ approached.

"Oh my-"

"It's not his! He's alright, go tell Alex we got him" She nodded and ran back inside.

Now Spencer cared even less if they saw them, he held Alex close as she cried in his chest, he whispered smoothing words in her ear knowing she didn't hear them and that he only said them to keep himself from crying as they both sat in the water, flowers and pieces of broken glass of the vase and the Family picture. With the insight, that Kat was in the hands of these men and maybe Ethan too, in this moment JJ ran in.

"We found Ethan. He's okay!" The blonde exclaimed. Alex and Reid looked at her for second before they jumped up and ran past her only to be met by Morgan who had Ethan by his side.

"It's not his!" Morgan said quickly after he saw the shocked looks on their faces. In the next second, both Alex and Reid pulled Ethan in a tight hug not caring about the blood. After a while Alex pushed Ethan gently back and took his face in her hands.

"Ethan, are you hurt? Did they hurt you baby?" She asked but he only shook his hands, unable to speak and tears started to roll down his cheeks. She immediately took him in her arms again and kissed his cheek "It's okay Ethan, I'm here baby. They can't hurt you, nobody's gonna hurt you anymore! We're here now, " she said and slightly rocked him back and forth. Spencer stood behind her so Ethan couldn't see the body of the dead man.

"Alex, we need to talk to him" said Hotch.

"I know. Give him a minute" she answered still holding her son tight.

"Alex…I know this is hard, but every minute counts if we want to find Kat" Morgan said but now Alex's expression hardened. She separated from Ethan who then was pulled into a tight hug by Spencer. Alex stood and looked at Morgan which caused chills to run down his spine.

"Don't you think I know that? This is my daughter Morgan! I want to find her more then all of you together! So don't you dare to tell me that every second counts! But Ethan is my son too and he just witnessed his sister being abducted! So give him a damn second!" she said angrily.

In this moment, Morgan realized that these men had broken into the wrong house and abducted the wrong girl because Alex Blake would hunt them down and kill them if they had done anything to her daughter and this was promise he could read in her brown, piercing eyes.

* * *

**Will they be able to save Kat? Or have they been too late?  
**


	11. Back from the Dead

She stood in the middle of her front yard, turned and looked around. More Officers, CSI and a ME arrived she saw Andy talking to Hotch, Rossi waved the CSI and ME in. Spencer was with Ethan, she saw JJ and Morgan standing near them she turned to the street saw some neighbors starting to walk over and see what was going on. Alex saw all of this and nothing and the only thing she heard was her beating heart

' _She's gone, she's gone, she's gone'_ hammered through her head, she sank down on her knees and held her head ' _this was a nightmare, this wasn't happening right now, her daughter couldn't have been abducted by these men, it just wasn't true. I couldn't be true_ ' she told herself and tried to fight the thoughts that creeped into her head ' _They are going to torture her, they are going to rape, burn and kill her daughter like the other Girls'_.

"Alex?...Alex?" the voice calling her sounded far away, she looked up and saw JJ.

"Alex…we need to talk to Ethan" she said and Alex swallowed before she nodded. She stood up and walked over to her son. JJ looked after her for a second, this was her worst nightmare she couldn't even imagine what was going on in her, this was hard enough with people they didn't know but this was Kat, they all knew and liked her…she was family.

Alex took the hand of her son and he looked up at her. "You need to come with me for a moment Honey" she said and together they walked to one of the cars and Alex smiled at him.

"Ethan, JJ and Morgan are going to ask you some questions about tonight okay? You have to answer them as good as you can, I'll be right over there, you just have to say something and I'll come okay?" she said and kissed the forehead of her still shivering son.

"Can't I stay with you Momma?" he asked and grasped her hand tighter.

"I'm sorry but you can't, I promise it won't take long and then you're with me again" she said and sat him on the backseat, before she kissed his cheek, she looked at JJ and Morgan and quietly begged them not to be too hard on him and she walked back to Spencer even though everything in her screamed to stay with her son.

* * *

JJ crouched down to be on the same eyelevel as Ethan and smiled at him.

"Okay I know that this isn't easy Ethan but you have to tell us what happened tonight, could you do that?" she asked him and he nodded.

"Kat tucked me in after we called Mom and I listened to the Audiobook that Dad gave me and fell asleep…but Kat woke me up again, she was really scared!" Ethan said JJ narrowed her eyes when he said Dad but decided to leave it for now.

"How do you know she was scared?"

"She was all shaky and pale, like a ghost" he mumbled and it was clear how scared he was himself.

"What happened next Ethan?" Morgan asked.

"Kat told me to be really quiet and covered my mouth when I wanted to ask her why, she grabbed my baseball bat and pushed me into Mom and Dad's bedroom where we hid behind the drawer…"

"Before your sister woke you…could you hear something?" Morgan asked again, but Ethan shook his head. "Okay what happened then?" he added.

"Kat called mom and told her that two men where in the house and that they had a gun…she talked to mom and then pushed me out of mom and dad's room again , we wanted to go down but then a man held Kat she told me to run so I did, but I could see another man downstairs so I hid in Kats closet…she came too and then she told me she loved me and that I should stay there until she said I could come…I heard her screaming and fighting I wanted to help! I'm sorry but I was scared and she told me to stay I-"

"Ethan Honey calm down you did everything right, okay? What could you hear then?" JJ said and laid her hand on his shoulder.

"I heard a loud bang and a man said something in another language…he came back up but he didn't came in…it was all quiet and I couldn't hear Kat or the man I went out and saw the man laying downstairs…then I saw the other man behind me he- Kat laid over his shoulders…she wasn't moving. I ran down but-but I slipped he shoved me out and in the garden he told me to hide there and don't say a word or…or he would hurt Kat!" Ethan said and tears rolled down his cheeks. "Please I wanna go to Mommy".

"I know buddy but…could you see the face of one of them?"

"No…they both had masks on and he only said that and drove away" he answered.

"Could you see the car? Do you know what car it was or did you see the license plate?" JJ asked, but Ethan shook his head again.

"No…it was dark and big like this…but I couldn't see anything else…I'm sorry".

"No, Ethan you did everything right, we will find Kat yeah? You really helped us, do you remember what Kat was wearing?" asked Morgan.

"She had a pair of blue pajama pants and a grey top" he answered and Morgan quickly told Rossi to get out the Amber Alert.

"Come Ethan let's get you to your Mom" JJ said and he jumped down and they walked over to Alex and Spencer who sat on the little stone bench in front of the front door.

* * *

Alex watched as Morgan and JJ talked to Ethan, part of her hoped he had seen enough to help them find Kat, the other part of her hoped that he had seen nothing. She felt so incredibly useless, they had fifty hours tops, but what if they decided to kill her earlier because she too wasn't what they wanted?! She felt like she couldn't breathe, she tied to get her breathing under control but failed and then two arms laid around her.

"Alex! Alex, calm down okay? Try to calm down and take a deep breath Love" Spencer said in a low tone next to her.

"I left her again! I should have told you, I should have stayed with them! G-God I can't…I can't even imagine what happened to her, what s-she has to go through right now! And I can't help her!" she cried and he held her close.

"I know this isn't easy and I won't tell you that I know exactly how you feel! But you need to think of Ethan now too, he needs you and it's our job to find her!" he said but Alex grasped his collar tight!

"I'm her mother! I gave birth to her and I raised her! It's more my job to find her than yours, I left her when she needed me the most! I wasn't there when these bastards broke into our home and kidnapped my daughter!" she yelled with tears streaming down her face.

Spencer didn't move one millimeter when Alex had her outburst, he only held her closer and stroked over his Lovers back. "What if they kill her…and we'll never be able to see her again?! She's my daughter, I have to protect her!" she said quietly.

"Don't think of that like that! We'll find her; we'll do everything we can to find her! And we will punish them for what they did to her and us" he said, now everyone could know about them they didn't care, all they cared for was Kat. Rossi came over and laid his hand on her shoulder.

"We'll find her Alex, we sent out an Amber Alert and there are Road blocks in a 19 Mile radius" he said and Alex nodded.

"You have to find her alive" she said and he nodded.

"We will…we need to ask you some questions too, but we could do that at the Bureau" he said and Alex nodded.

"Please I need to get away from here" she said.

"Mommy!" she turned around and Ethan already sat on her lap and hugged her.

"Hey…and was it that bad?" she asked but he shook his head "It's all gonna be alright again Ethan, they'll find Kat, you don't have to be scared anymore" she said and stroked over his head "I love you Baby" she whispered and pressed a long kiss on his forehead.

"Alex?" she looked up and saw Hotch, "We should go now" he said.

"Okay let me get some things for Ethan" she said and he nodded.

"Stay with Spence for a moment okay?" Ethan nodded and she went back in and up the stairs she couldn't even look at Kat's room when she walked by. She packed some of Ethan's clothes and hurried back down she couldn't stand being there, back down she wanted to take the bag on her shoulder but Spencer stopped her and took the bag. When they sat in the car Hotch drove away Ethan looked at her and Spencer.

"Where are we going?" he asked.

"We're going to the Bureau where we work" Spencer answered.

"Important Breaking News one hour ago the fifteen year old Kathrin Blake was kidnapped in Groveton, Alexandria Virginia, she is 5'2" tall and has shoulder length blonde hair and brown eyes, she wears-"

"Turn it off" Alex said and Hotch looked at her. "Please turn it off" she pleaded and he quickly reached over to turn the radio off she could swear that he glanced at her and Spencer's intertwined fingers as he did so.

During the ride Alex noticed that Ethan dozed off a couple of times. When they arrived at the BAU they went up and Alex pointed at Ethan and Hotch nodded.

"Rossi said you could have the couch in his Office" and already walked up in the Conference Room. Alex walked in Rossi's Office with Ethan in her Arms and sat him on the Couch.

"I know your tired Honey and that you're scared, but you're save here…nothing's going to happen to you here okay? You should sleep a bit, but I'm right next door" she said but Ethan immediately clung tight to her again.

"I don't wanna be alone!".

"I know Honey, I know, but I need to help them find Kat…would it help when Daddy would stay with you?" she asked and he thought for a moment before he nodded, "Okay I'll get him" she kissed his cheek and got up, he waited at his desk and ran up to her before he could say something she already spoke.

"Could you stay with him as long as I talk to Hotch?" she asked.

"'Course" he said and together they walked in.

"Dad's going to stay with you yeah? I'll talk to Hotch for a bit but I'll be back in a few minutes okay? Try to sleep" she laid a blanket over him and kissed his forehead "I love you Ethan" she whispered.

"I love you too Mommy" he said and Alex smiled at him before she left him with Spencer, she took a deep breath and went to the Conference Room.

"I'm sorry he wouldn't try to sleep without me so I had to get Spencer" she said and closed the door behind her.

"It's okay, first, Alex we'll do everything we can to find Kat and bring her Home, everything, this has priority for everyone!" he said. Alex fumbled with her hands and nodded.

"I know…thank you…it's-it's just that I can't get these pictures out of my head, those other girls I know what he did to them and I'm not able to avoid thinking that it is exactly what he is doing to do to my daughter".

"I know this isn't easy Alex but I'll do this as fast as I can so you can stay with Ethan. So: When have you seen Kat or spoken to her for the last time?" he asked.

"Seen…two days before we left for this Case, and I called them at six thirty" she answered.

"Was anything different? Did she say that she was worried? Or felt watched, anything?" he asked.

"No…she told me that there was nothing to worry about" he narrowed his eyes.

"She said that there was nothing to worry about…had she reason to believe so?" Alex looked away. "Alex…"

"I called her…I called her when we were driving to Charlottesville and I warned her…I couldn't let her walk around without knowing and it still happened I should have told you, and I should have stayed home" she cried.

"Alex, I understand that you wanted to-"

"Don't tell me you understand Hotch! You don't, because Jack is home and he's save; these men broke into my house and kidnapped my daughter. She was kidnapped again! We have no Idea, who they are or where they take them! You know just like I do what they're going to do to her and we have 50 hours tops to find her and we have nothing!" she said loud and closed her eyes "I'm sorry".

"It's okay…I'll be honest with you Alex, I don't blame you that you warned her" he said "And I don't know what you feel right know and I pray every day that I never will, but we'll try everything to save her…and we need your help" he said she nodded.

"Okay…Has her behavior changed in the last couple of weeks or days? Did she say that she was especially annoyed by someone? Not a teenager or teacher someone else?" he then asked.

"No- I mean…I mean- I don't know if she would've even told me…we argued a lot in the past weeks, but she's 15! She's supposed to argue with me and drive me crazy, she is a teenager, but I was close to the point were I didn't knew what to do with her anymore…she-she was like another person, went on parties, drank and smoked I was more often at the PD than in my own home…and I don't know why, she just refused to talk to me".

"Can you think of someone who might want to hurt her?...Or you?".

"Like this? No…maybe some other teenagers but nothing like this and if then we would've had something since the third victim!" she said.

"Someone who is angry at you?" he asked.

"No, all the people we investigated against or locked up had a reason but, I can't tell you why Hotch…I can't tell you why my daughter".

"What about someone you knew personally? An ex-boyfriend or boyfriend?" he asked.

"I don't check the résumé of man I date, but I haven't had many dates since James, you're not exactly the ideal imagine of a woman if you're a widow with two kids Hotch" she replied and he looked at her apologetically.

"Are you in a current relationship? We should talk to him too".

"Yes I am…and you know him…it's Spencer" she said and avoid to look at him. Hotch didn't answer for a moment.

"I already assumed that…but this doesn't matter to me right know we have enough time to talk about that when Kat is home again!" he said "But I don't think I have to say that the both of you are off this Case" he added and she nodded.

"Kat has been Kidnapped before when she was three, right?" she nodded "Could it be possible that-"

"No he's dead…he was shot five times when they saved her…Hotch I barely survived it back then I can't lose my daughter…I can't lose my little girl, not when I wasn't there when she needed me most…" she begged and Hotch laid his hand on her shoulder.

"I promise you Alex, I won't stop doing everything in my power to find her until she is home where she belongs to…go be with Ethan" he said she mouthed a thank you to him and turned to leave the Room.

"I think the one who could help you most is Joe Henrickson, Andy Henrickson's daughter she's Kats best friend since they were kids and they're like sisters they share everything with each other…I think they're still in New York at his parents so it might take them a while to come " she said.

"Okay" Hotch then quickly called Andy Henrickson to tell him to get his wife and daughter here as fast as possible.

Alex stood in front of Rossi's Office but couldn't go in, she just couldn't she turned and walked through the Bullpen and into the hallway she slide down at a wall away from the Bullpen and elevators and cried her eyes out sobbing uncontrollably. When Garcia found her some time later the usually bubbly Tech. Queen was at a loss of words and just sat beside Alex and hugged her, but said not one word as nothing in the world could ease her friend's pain.

* * *

JJ and Morgan watched as Hotch, Alex, Reid and Ethan took off and then turned back to the house and walked in where the body of the man was taken away. "Garcia told me she had ordered a patrol over…they were here but had been called away half an hour before Kat called" Morgan said.

"They had to know that and took the chance…Kat must have killed him after they fell down the stairs…" JJ muttered as they walked up the stairs, the walked by her room and saw Rossi standing in it with two other man, they continued to walk to Alex's bedroom, no one of them was comfortable doing so this was private, and it should stay this way they didn't want to searched through her personal things but they had to.

"What did you find?" asked Morgan the CSI man.

"Fresh blood on the sheets the big spot there and some small ones beside the bed…and traces of semen, but they're old there is no chance that there're from today but we can't rule out rape yet" he said and both JJ and Morgan looked away embarrassed this was nothing they should knew about, it was none of their business when and with whom Alex had sex.

Morgan turned to walk to the little bathroom beside Alex's bedroom, when he saw something that made him stop in confusion, didn't he recognize this shirt? But it was clearly not Alex's.

"Hey JJ isn't that the Shirt you gave Reid for-" but he was interrupted by JJ who had also seen something very shocking.

"Oh my God Morgan!" she took the picture which had fallen off the drawer and walked over to her colleague to show it to him. "Alex and Spencer…they're a couple!" she stated when he too looked at the picture of the two of them sharing a loving kiss in surprise. Now it all made sense they behavior in the last few weeks, they had all guessed that they had someone new in their life and though JJ knew about his feelings for Alex she had never thought that they were together.

"Now it all makes sense, how couldn't we see this? And Ethan, he said that his Dad gave him an audiobook! He meant Reid, I helped him find it!" Morgan said.

"We've been blinder than blind" JJ said and then shook her head "This makes nothing any easier "she continued and Morgan nodded when Rossi stormed in.

"A trucker found Kats things on Aden Road, Nokesville…pants, a top, bra, panties, earrings…everything" JJ sighed.

"I'll go" Morgan said and disappeared.

"Did you know of them?" JJ asked and showed Rossi the picture who smiled for a second.

"Don't tell me you didn't…come on they were so obvious it's a miracle that you didn't noticed" he said and JJ nodded.

"Yes- well I knew he loved her but I didn't know they were a couple. I'll go and question the neighbors if they saw something" JJ said and Rossi nodded.

"I'll come too".

"What did you find in Kats room?" asked JJ when they walked down.

"Nothing except quite an amount of money I'd say 300 dollars and a half empty package of cigarettes hidden in one of her guitars, she was the typical messy teenager. She is complete different from the others she had a fond of Rock, Grunge and Indie music and she was not one of the popular one at school" JJ raised her eyebrows.

"How do you know?"

"She told me, I talked to her when we Grilled at my place…she said that she was the average High School student, she likes it, she has the friends she needs and doesn't want to be one of the popular ones." He laughed shortly "She joked that she was the female Kurt Cobain, she likes being the freaky one" he said.

"Your right, she wasn't like the others, she didn't try to become popular- Rossi, what if they always wanted Kat? The others still had things like that in common except their looking and Kat is the only one who is really different, what if the others were…their, somehow, practice for Kat?"

"Your right…how are we supposed to tell them this?" Rossi said and when they walked over to talk to the neighbors.

"I have no Idea" JJ replied.

"Hey! Hey! Let me go what's going on!? Fuck off man!" they heard shouting and saw two teenage boys argue with two police officers.

"Hey what's going on who are you?!" asked JJ when they approached them.

"I'm Chris and this is Freddy we're Kats best friends she-she was abducted?" the boy named Chris said and had a pleading look in his eyes.

"Yes she was abducted but-" she stopped when he saw the anger flash across his face.

"I'm going to kill him!" Chris said and an off and to the car before Freddy could follow him JJ held him back.

"What does he mean? Who is he going to kill?"

"I- don't know- shit Chris means Toby he's Kat's ex and he dumped her when she refused to have sex with him- he said that she would regret that" Rossi and JJ looked at each other.

"Show us where he lives" JJ said while Rossi ran to get the car.

"Could this really had been Toby?!" asked Freddy when he got into the car with them.

"No" JJ answered as they rushed to the house Freddy told them to dive to. When they arrived there they saw the open car of Chris and him and another boy most likely Toby on the front yard and Chris beat the crap out of the boy.

"Chris, stop it now!" JJ yelled as they ran over to pull the crying boy off of Toby.

"He has her! He swore he would do something to her and he did! I'm going to kill you son of a bitch!" but Rossi pulled him away.

"No he hasn't, Kat was abducted by someone else! He has nothing to do with it!"

He yelled and then forced Chris to the car.

"This is not going to help boy" he growled and then his expression softened when he saw the desperation in his eyes, he had seen this look many times before, he was in love with Kat. They took the three boys to the BAU after JJ had made sure that Toby was alright except a bloody nose and a blue eye.

* * *

When Alex calmed down a little she whipped her face and took a deep, shaky breath.

"Better?" asked Garcia.

"No…maybe a little" answered Alex and they both stood up "Thanks Garcia" she mumbled and Garcia stroked over her arm.

"No Problem Gumdrop, we'll find her" she said and Alex nodded before she walked back to Rossi's Office. Garcia looked after her and felt so sorry, she couldn't do anything to help Alex, even though it was not her job to do so, but this was her family and someone was hurt beyond repair.

When she stepped in Spencer looked up at her, he sat on the armchair beside the couch her son was sleeping on, she closed the door behind her and went over to pulled the blanket a little bit tighter around her son before she sat down on the other couch and Spencer sat down beside her, where he pressed a kiss at her hairline and pulled her close.

"He nearly fell asleep as soon as you talked to Hotch" he said quietly, she cried into his Chest and it was her who clung tight to him now whilst he stroked over her back and held her close.

"I told Hotch" she whispered after a while and he kissed her forehead.

"Okay…I wish we could have told them under different circumstances but at least I can stay with you now" he answered.

"The worst part is that I want to be with Ethan and at the same time I want to help find Kat…I feel like I have to choose between my children" she said desperately.

"Everyone knows how much you love Kat and Ethan nobody is going to reproach you for staying with Ethan Love, they will find Kat and bring her home" he said and took her hand in his before he gently squeezed it. In this Moment Alex didn't know what to say to him to tell him, how glad she was to have him by her side.

* * *

In the next morning when JJ arrived at the BAU she wanted nothing more than to go in there and see that they had the son of a bitch who kidnapped Kat and free her. The questioning of Freddy, Chris and Toby hadn't helped them much and only made her feel more sorry; Chris had been in love with Kat for the past two years while she had been going out with Toby who was quite beneath her dignity if someone asked her, after she had questioned him. When JJ stepped out of the elevator she walked into the bullpen, she saw Morgan and Rossi in the small kitchenette and Chris sat at Alex's desk.

"What is he still doing here?" she asked as she walked over to them.

"He refused to go home, he said he wouldn't leave until we found Kat" Morgan answered.

"How are Alex and Spencer?" JJ asked and looked up at Rossi's Office where the blinds were drawn.

"Not good…I think they are only asleep now because they were so exhausted" Rossi answered and they walked back into the room.

"Did you find anything while-"

"Excuse me are you Agent Rossi?" they all turned around and there stood a man in his forties, he looked a little unkempt, but was still fit, his blonde hair was streaked with grey and a bit greasy a worried look on his face.

"That would be me and who are you?" answered Rossi, the man swallowed.

"My name is James. James Blake you investigate the abduction of my daughter".

* * *

 

**What is the team going to do about James? And what is Alex going to do when she finds out that her husband is alive?  
**

**And what happened to Kat?**

**Leave a Review**


	12. Marked forever

When Kat regained consciousness, she had no clue where she was, what she knew was that every inch of her body was in pain, even breathing hurt. She opened her eyes but Kat couldn't see or hear anything, but she could feel something, she was only wearing a simple, linen dress under it she was naked and tied to an old bed. Kat tried to move her arms she ignored the pain in her chest but it was useless.

Damn where the hell was she? What was going on, why did these men kidnap her? Was Ethan okay? Were her mother and Spencer looking for her?. Fear started to overwhelm her, what was going to happen? What would they do to her and why? Damn it why? What did they want?. Should she cry for help?...but what was the point when the only one who could probably hear her was the one who abducted her and right now she didn't need him near her.

Slowly her eyes started to get used to the dark, she could make out a brick wall beside her and then the other three walls, the room wasn't very big, but could and damp. She swallowed her throat was dry and she tried to calm herself down 'Mom and Spence are on their way! They are going to find me!' the scared teenager thought.

Then Kat could hear steps getting closer and her heart started to race, was this him? What would he do? She heard a creak and was dazzled by light for a second and then she was in darkness again. She ignored the pain and crawled as far away as she could with the chains around her wrists.

"Come back" a female voice said and smooth hands grabbed her.

"Get away from me" Kat said hoarse and struggled but got slapped hard.

"I'm trying to help you! You need to be clean, he doesn't like it when you're dirty!" she woman said, she sounded young.

"Why are you doing this? Who is he?" Kat asked she started to see the woman beside her; she looked like in her early twenties with blond her similar to hers.

"He? He is going to be your husband like he is mine, you can consider yourself lucky that he choose you, he's going to treat you well…he wanted you for so long, he even paid someone to get you, they brought others who looked like you, but he said it wasn't the same, that's how much he wants you!" she said and began to cut her shirt off. Kat was still too shocked about what she heard to fight back.

"H-Husband? No! I don't want to marry him, please let me go!" she said and the woman started to wash her face.

"But you will…we are all so excited to welcome you…do you believe in god?" she asked and moved down to her breasts.

"Stop, Stop it now! My Mom and Dad are FBI Agents they are going to find me and when they are, they are going to kick your ass!" Kat hissed.

"No they won't trust me…just accept it, it will make things a lot more easily" she said and Kat swallowed again.

"Can I have some water please?" she asked.

"No."

"Please-"

"I said no!" she said finished the washing and made appearance to leave Kat opened her mouth to say something, but stopped when she could hear heavy steps getting closer.

Kat closed her eyes when the door opened and only opened them again when it was closed. "Hello Kathrin" he said, his voice was dark and cold and it made the little hairs in Kat's neck stand up. "I waited so long for you my love…so long and now I finally have you" he stroked over her cheek and Kat flinched back she couldn't hold back her fear anymore and tears burned in her eyes.

"Please let me go, please…I wanna go home…I wanna go home" she whispered. He laughed.

"Honey, this is your home now, and we'll marry you'll be my wife…Annie, get Sarah" he said and the woman disappeared. His hand wandered down from her cheeks to her neck and breasts she flinched and tried to roll on her back but the chains made it impossible. "You'll get use to my touch very soon…but you're my special one I won't touch you until you have my mark" he said and then rolled her on her back the pain in her arms made her cry out.

"You damn son of a bitch, when my mother is here, she is going to kick your ass and you are going to wish you weren't even born!" she spat at him and he slapped her.

"I don't allow my wives to disrespect me like that! Mark my words! And your whore mother and her little boyfriend won't find you" he said and someone else stepped into the room.

"Do you have everything I need?" he asked.

"Yes" the woman that must be Sarah said submissive.

"You know what? I'll let your mom watch, what do you think?" she closed her eyes and tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Please don't do this…please?" she whispered.

"I need to do this…they need to know your mine" he said and ran his fingers through her hair "I love your hair it's so beautiful…not dark like your mothers…".

"Do you want me to keep her quiet?" Sarah asked.

"No…just hold her down; we don't want my mark to be ugly, do we?" Kat had no Idea what he was talking about, but she was scared, so scared that she didn't even fought back the hands of the woman who grabbed and pinned her down painfully.

"The Camera is set…let's start" Kat closed her eyes and tried to shut them out, 'They're not here! They're not here, this is only a nightmare' she tried to ensure herself but then something hot touched the skin on her back. First she could bit down a painful scream, she didn't want to give him satisfaction, but then the thing move slowly and she couldn't hold back any longer and screamed in pain.

"Stop! Stop please stop! I'll do everything you want! Stop!" Kat screamed and tried to struggle but Sarah and the chains kept her in place, she pulled at the chains so hard that they cut her wrists and small trails of blood ran down her arms, before it dripped on the mattress.

The smell of burned skin started to fill the room and Kat screamed her lungs out, for her it's been hours before he finally stopped. She lay shaking and sobbing on the mattress, what she couldn't see was the rood on her back, which felt like it was on fire,

"Pray…" he said.

"What?" asked Kat.

"I said pray…I don't care what, just pray" he said calm, Kat hadn't been to church since years she only knew one prayer.

"Hail M-Mary, full of grace, The Lord is with thee…" she stopped.

"Continue" he ordered.

"B-blessed art thou among women and blessed is the f-fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, M-Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our d-death. Amen." Kat whimpered and he whipped the tears away.

"That was wonderful…you know what, I'll give you a reminder of this" and he started again, Kat cried out but didn't struggle it was useless, it went over faster than the last time but it didn't hurt less. When he had finished burning the prayer into her skin he sent the woman with the equipment away, so that they were alone.

His hands wandered up and down her sides before he grabbed her at the waist and turned her around, this made Kat scream out in pain again as her wounded backside was pushed on the mattress. He groped her breasts roughly and then forced her legs apart, Kat tried to close them but he was too strong.

"You're a virgin…good I don't like it when they've been used before."

"P-please don't…don't do this" Kat begged her voice shakily but he only smiled at her.

"I'll like it I promise" he said and stood up again, Kat's breathing increased in fear of what was about to come, she also noticed that the camera was still rolling.

"Don't make them watch please…t-they have no right to…see us" she said he smiled at her again.

"You're right my love, this should stay between us" he turned to the camera to cover the lens and then walk back to her opening his pants "But they can hear us" he said 'Please Mom hurry' Kat thought and closed her eyes when he climbed on top of her.

* * *

The three of them stared at him in shock, James Blake…Alex's dead husband? That couldn't be but in fact it was possible! She had told them that they had never found his body, but to see him standing in front of them was still shocking.

The first one to react was JJ. Alex would have a complete break down when she was seeing her husband standing here alive. She quickly turned around looked at Rossi's Office; nothing had changed so she pushed James back into the hallway out of the sight of Rossi's Office. "Get out! Move, move, move! If she sees you she either going to break down or kill you!" the blonde Agent said and the two others followed her, Rossi and Morgan looked at him dangerously.

"How do we know you're the real James Blake? You died" Rossi growled.

"I know how that sounds, but I am James Blake, my wife is Alex Blake and I faked my death six years ago in a car accident, my son whom I never saw since then was three months old and had bad colic's" he said the first two things could have been out of newspaper articles from back then, but the thing with Ethan's colic's could only be known by a family member.

"What are you doing here?" asked Morgan.

"My daughter was kidnapped!" James said and JJ raised her eyebrows.

"You faked your death six years ago, don't you think it's a little late for the 'I care about my daughter/Family' thing" she said and he stared at her.

"I don't know that it is your business but I faked my death to save them, Alex, Kat and Ethan, my life or theirs and I came back to this town after six years and you say it's a coincidence that my daughter is kidnapped then?" he said.

"What do you mean, who kidnapped her?" Morgan asked suspicious.

"The Irish Mafia" The three Agents shared a look.

"Why would the Irish Mafia kidnap Kat?" asked JJ.

"I was a Detective in the Groveton PD before Ethan was born we were working on a Case, against the Irish Mafia, after a while my colleagues gave up, saying that they weren't involved, but I knew they were! So I continued…I worked day and night and-"

"Forgot my family, my over challenged wife who tried to raise my nine year old daughter and newborn Baby son, when I gave a shit about them!" someone said behind them, it was Andy Henrickson his once best friend, who now stared at him unbelieving and with anger in his eyes.

"Andy-"

"Shut up. Do you know what you did to them? to us? Do you know what she went through? The nights she spend crying at our house, she had to tell Kat that you died without saying goodbye; she had to tell Ethan that he has no father! and why? Because you couldn't accept that the Mafia hadn't anything to do with the murder!"

"It was them!" James argued back "And now they have Kat!" Andy grabbed James's shirt and pushed him against the wall.

"What happened to you? Why can't you let go of this? It wasn't them! And they didn't abduct Kat, because girls who look like her have been abducted too, this is someone who has something against her this has nothing to do with you!" Andy yell and Morgan pulled him off of James.

"It…wasn't the Mob?"

"No! Never!"

"But the pictures I found-" now the three Agents were alerted.

"What pictures?" asked Rossi.

"About five months before I faked my death I found pictures of…of Alex and Kat" he said.

"Do you have these pictures?" JJ asked and he nodded, he pulled them out of his back pocket. The first showed a heavily pregnant Alex walking in a park with Kat who played with a friend. The next showed Kat in school, then in the backyard where she and Alex sat on a picnic blanket and pressed her head on her mother's stomach and then one of Alex walking to the house with groceries in her arms.

JJ noticed it in the last picture, though Alex was in the foreground, she saw Kat and Joe playing in the Henrickson's front yard. "Guys, Kat is in every picture…here it looks like the one who took these is focusing on Alex but she is more in the left but Kat and Joe are in the center of the picture…this goes far more back than we thought" she said.

"What do you mean?" asked James.

"This means that this wasn't the Irish Mafia, it was someone who is after Kat since years." Morgan said, before one of them could say something Garcia walked over to them.

"How is my 350 IQ couple doing?" she asked and Morgan shook his head.

"Not good Baby-Girl, please tell me you got something" he answered.

"I don't think so, the dead man…I- I couldn't find anything on him, nothing, nada he doesn't exist here, he's a ghost" Garcia said and then looked at James, "Who's this?".

"Garcia this is…James Blake, Alex's ex-husband and father of Kat and Ethan" said Rossi and James looked at him.

"I'm not her ex-husband, I am her husband" he said and Rossi looked at him like he was crazy, but before he could say something Andy interrupted him.

"James, you're dead, everyone thinks you're dead, you aren't her husband she has moved on, luckily and you were in a shitty marriage before you faked your death, or don't you remember what you made me promise not to tell her?" he said.

"Does she know he is-…?" asked Garcia.

"No and I don't know how we should tell her this" JJ answered. She then turned around and looked at Morgan she gestured him to follow her and they stepped into the bullpen were they couldn't be seen from the others.

"Morgan…I don't like the thought but…what if James as Kat? He returns now, tell us this story…what if he took her?" she asked in a low voice.

"I don't like him I think he's an ass, but kidnap Kat? Why? He could have "returned" without doing that…why don't you ask Blake a bit about their marriage and Rossi and I'll keep him in an interrogation room" he said and JJ nodded before she walked up to Rossi's Office in which Alex and Spencer sat on the small couch.

When she stepped in they both jumped up "Do you have something?" asked Alex at the same time there was hope and fear in her voice.

"No, nothing new" the blonde said and she looked at Reid, "Could I talk with Alex alone for a second?" he nodded and kissed her cheek before he lifted the still sleeping Ethan up in his arms and walked out of the room, JJ closed the door and walked over to her and sat down beside her.

"What do you want to know?" Alex asked.

"We are going back in time to find any clues and we, of course, came over the thing with James…" she started and Alex nodded, she then wrapped her arms around herself and waited for JJ to begin.

"What…was he like?"

Alex sighed "He was… a mistake; I fell for him when I was young and I didn't know better, I thought he would be a good man, but he wasn't, he wouldn't be father of the year, but at least he tried…at first. Don't get me wrong I was in love with him… at least I thought so, but it changed not long after we moved here…he made me feel horrible for making him leave the marines and be a cop and worse he made feel like I was a horrible mother for not staying home." JJ could tell how hard this was.

"He loved Kat but for him she was enough I think he…he wouldn't be even upset when Ethan wouldn't exist…in the end I saw him three days in a week tops and I know that he cheated on me, Andy told me some weeks after he died and not only once, he fucked around while I was home, convincing myself that he would never cheat on my while I was pregnant with his son."

"You know...when I compare what I had with him, with what I have with Spence, it's a whole different world I- I don't have to hide from Spencer who I am and it was never like that with James I don't even think we would be still married" Alex told her and JJ nodded. "Why are you asking me about him JJ?".

"Because we need to know about everything and-"

"What aren't you telling me?" Alex asked, damn there was no way they could keep that from her very long.

"Alex…James is alive…".

Alex stared at her for a while, her face gone from worried and fear to pure shock. She laid her hands over her face but before JJ could react she took them away and stared at her. "Where…where is he?" she asked, there was no emotion in her voice.

"In an interrogation room with Morgan and Rossi" she answered and Alex slowly nodded.

"I wanna see him" and JJ saw and heard that there was no way she could have talked her out of it. She led her out and walked through the bullpen where Spencer was with Ethan who was awake now.

"Mommy" she tried to smile for him and kissed his cheek, before she gave him a big hug and then looked at Spencer. She stood on her toes and whispered something in his ear by the look it she had told him that James was alive. Alex then turned to her and JJ walked to the interrogation room where James was in.

The brunette stopped and took a deep breath before she opened the door and stepped inside. Morgan and Rossi turned around and looked at her with a mix of "We're sorry" and "Kick his ass". James stood up but said nothing; he looked different, older now you could see the five years between them.

A few seconds they just stared at each other and he seemed to think that everything was good and forgotten when she didn't shout at him instantly. The other three Agents watched slightly surprised, they didn't know what they had expected, but it certainly wasn't this.

"Hey Allie" These two word triggered something in her and she calmly walked around the table so she stood in front of him. Before Morgan, Rossi or JJ had even thought about what was going to happen, Alex's clenched fist already connected with James face.

When he had said those two words he had no right to ever use again, everything came up, everything she had locked up in herself for six years. So when her fist painfully crushed his nose, it was like the walls she had built around her were crushed too.

"Hey Allie? You stupid son of a bitch, you dare to walk back in here and pretend that nothing has happened?! Do you know what I went through? Do you know what it was like to burry you? To learn that you fucked anything with a heartbeat! I was alone with Kat and Ethan you just left I had to tell them that you died! You died! What have I done to deserve that? What? Why did you come back, why do you have to ruin my life two times!?" Alex shouted at James and continued to beat him, whilst she cried.

Neither of the other three did anything to stop her, it was her good right but when she kneed him in the groin and still continued to hit James who tried to block her punches Morgan stepped forward "Blake! Hey Alex come on, calm-" he tried to get a hold of her but had to duck her elbow before she would break his nose too, but he managed pull her off of James, which was rather difficult as she struggled to get out of his arms again.

"They have Kat! They have our daughter; do you know what they did to them? Do you?! They'll do the same thing to her! They'll burn her! They'll rape her and they are going to kill her and throw her away like trash! Our daughter! So why are you here if we have to find her!?" she screamed, before Morgan was pushed out of the way by someone who happened to be Spencer.

With a gentle force he pulled his beloved one way from her ex-husband and out of the room JJ followed him and saw how he embraced the crying Alex tight, who hid her face in his chest and wrapped her arms around him, while he stroked over her back and whispered soothing words in her ear.

JJ didn't blame her, her friend's world was shattering into pieces and she feared that they maybe were going to be too late to save the one thing meaning more than anything to her.

"Why did he come…why?" asked Alex when she had calmed down a bit and whipped her tears away with her bruised hands. Reid pulled out a tissue and she cleaned her hands.

"I don't know…" Reid said and lifted her head "That's not important, we can deal with him when we have found Kat" he said and kissed her cheek. Alex turned to look at JJ "Do you know why he came back?".

"He thought the Irish Mafia had taken her because of an old Case…he said that he faked his dead because he thought they were after you…but we don't think so…we think that they were after Kat since then" the blonde Profilerin answered wishing she had better news.

Alex stared at her "They are after her since six years?...I-I never noticed anything" she said and Spencer closed his eyes.

"You sure?" he asked and JJ nodded.

"Blake?" they turned around and saw Hotch beside him was his sister in law Jessica. "This is my sister in law Jessica, who watches Jack when I'm at work…I asked her if she would watch Ethan too…he shouldn't stay here Blake" he said and Alex looked at them.

"I can't ask you to do that" she said.

"You can, he and Jack like each other, he can distract him and an Officer is going to watch them twenty-four seven" he said. She thought about it, he could be with a friend and even better he wouldn't met James, she didn't want her son to meet him, this would be too much for Ethan and Spencer was his father not James, she didn't want him to ever doubt that.

"Would you?" the brunette asked the smiling woman next to her Boss.

"Of Course" she answered and they walked back into the bullpen where Ethan was with an unknown Agent.

"Ethan Honey?" she crouched down and looked at him, "Ethan I know that you want to stay here…but I think it would be better if you would stay with Jack and his aunt Jessica" she said.

"But I want to stay with you and Dad" he said.

"We know buddy but it would be better if you would stay with Jack" Spencer said and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Jack's really excited to meet you again" Jessica said.

"Is it okay?" he asked looked at his mother, Alex hugged him tight and kissed his cheek.

"Of course Ethan, you helped us so much" she said and smiled a bit while Spencer went to get his bag. "I love you Ethan it's going to be okay again" she said and stroked over his head, Spencer came back and said his goodbye to Ethan before the little boy left with Jessica. Spencer laid his arms around Alex again.

"Why don't you two eat something or what about a coffee?" But the concerned parents shook their heads.

"I don't want to eat…something to drink maybe" Alex said and they made it to the kitchenette where JJ would let them be for a while. Alex leaned back against Spencer who took her hand and stroked over her arm with his free one.

"Alex…because of James, if you want to sort things out with him than…I'm fine with it" he said, she turned around and stared at him.

"How can you say something like that? Spencer…I won't go back to him until hell freezes over! I love you, not him and I need you with me now…because our daughter is still missing and I can't go through this without you Spence" she said and he hugged her again.

"I'm with you, we're in this together Love…we'll find her and we are going to get through this" he said and stroked over her hair and placed a kiss to her hairline. They didn't saw that Morgan and Rossi had brought James out of the interrogation room when he saw them; he knew immediately that they were not only friends.

"Who's the fucking beanpole with his hands on my wife?!" he asked and already stormed over to her.

"Hey! Who the fuck do you think you are?" he shouted and Spencer stepped in between him and Alex.

"I don't think I owe you an answer so go and leave her alone." He said in a cold voice neither of them had ever heard out of Spencer Reid's mouth.

"You know who I am? I'm her husband and you are going to take your hands off of her" James said and Alex stepped next to Spencer and took his hand.

"Get lost James…our relationship is none of your business and right now we need to find Kat nothing else matters!" she said and Spencer nodded, Morgan grabbed James and shoved him out of the bullpen. Before someone could say something Hotch approached them with an expression meaning no good, he waved JJ over.

"We found the Body of a girl near Bristol…she matches Kat's description." He said in a low voice she stared at him.

"Oh God…how are we supposed to tell them this?" she asked.

"I don't know but we shouldn't tell them until we can be sure that it's Kat, we'll go and identify her" he said and JJ nodded "We'll take the Jet". She turned around and looked at the worried couple, what if it was Kat? JJ wasn't sure if Alex and Spencer could survive that.

Just before the two were about to leave Garcia and Morgan came running in "I just got a video! It's from the abductor! But I can't trace it, it jumps across the world faster than anything I ever saw!" they all ran up into the conference room with Spencer and Alex leading the way.

"Alex-" Hotch started but the woman turned around.

"Don't you dare to try and get us out, if this is a video of our daughter then I want to see it!" she demanded he nodded.

"Garcia" she nodded and when a picture filled the screen Alex grabbed Spencer's hand, Garcia gasped in shock, JJ swallowed and tried not to look directly at the screen like Morgan, Rossi and Hotch did when they saw the bruised, naked Kat on the bed.

A man walked over to her, a woman pushed Kat down on the mattress and Alex bit down so hard that she thought her teeth would break and tears well in her eyes. He sat down on her and pulled over the soldering iron, Alex flinched when he pushed the hot metal down on her daughters back; she tensed up but didn't scream only when he started to draw the rood.

Her screams in pain would burn itself in to Alex's mind, when she watched how he burned her daughter and listened to her screams "Stop! Stop please stop! I'll do everything you want! Stop!" Kat screamed and tried to struggle but the woman held her down.

They saw the chains that kept her in place, Kat pulled at them so hard that they cut her wrists and small trails of blood ran down her arms, before they dripped on the mattress. The man did not care and continued. It took him over twenty minutes to finish and Alex cried when she watched Kat lay on the bed shaking, sobbing and whimpering.

"Pray" his voice made her flinch and Spencer pulled her closer.

"What?"

"I said pray…I don't care what, just pray" he said calm, Kat didn't speak up of course she knew that Kat hadn't been to church since the funeral of James.

"Hail M-Mary, full of grace, The Lord is with thee…" she stopped.

"Continue" he ordered.

"B-blessed art thou among women and blessed is the f-fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, M-Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our d-death. Amen." Kat whimpered and they watched him whipping her tears away.

"That was wonderful…you know what, I'll give you a reminder of this" and he started again, Kat screamed her lungs out, but didn't struggle she knew it was useless. When he had finished burning the prayer into her skin he sent the woman with the equipment away, so that they were alone.

His hands wandered up and down her sides before he grabbed her at the waist and turned her around, this made Kat scream out in pain again as her wounded backside was pushed on the mattress. He groped her breasts roughly and then forced her legs apart, Kat tried to close them but he was too strong.

"You're a virgin…good I don't like it when they've been used before."

"P-please don't…don't do this" Kat begged her voice shakily but he only smiled at her.

"You'll like it I promise" he said and stood up again, Alex pressed her hand to her mouth trying to avoid the sob. Spencer had closed his eyes like Garcia had a long time ago, she couldn't watch this, not when she knew Kat and she couldn't imagine what it was like for Alex and Spencer.

"Don't make them watch please…t-they have no right to…see us" she said he smiled at her again.

"You're right my love, this should stay between us" he turned to the camera; Morgan cursed as the bastard didn't show his face. The screen went black but they could still hear them "But they can hear us" he said and then they could make out the opening of a belt.

"No" Alex whispered they heard Kat crying and the squeak of the bed when he probably climbed on top of her. This was too much for Alex she pushed Spencer off of her and stumbled down the stairs, she barely made it to the sink before threw up the nearly non existing contents of her stomach.

She washed her mouth out before she slide down on the floor, he was raping her daughter, she was going through a nightmare and she could do nothing about it. She was her mother she was supposed to protect her; she was supposed to prevent her from this. And she didn't, she failed protecting her daughter and Kat was going to pay for it for the rest of her life.

* * *

**The new Chapter, let's see if they are able to find Kat until it really is to late. And whats going to happen between Alex, Spencer and James?**

**In the next Chapter someone will come back to help the BAU. Maybe as Kat's only chance of surviving or maybe not.**

**Leave a Review!**


	13. Please come and save me.

**Please come and save me.**

Alex sat there for a moment and held her head in her hands, trying to shut out the cries of her daughter echoing through her head, she was going through this alone and she didn't knew what she should do, she couldn't think straight and looked up when someone was approaching.

She looked up at Spencer "I-…" she couldn't and covert her mouth with a shaking hand avoiding the sob from coming out. He sat down beside her to lay his arm around her and kiss her temple before he pulled her even closer and Alex buried her face in his chest. He said nothing, as nothing was going to help them so he stroked over her arm holding her close. They were going through this together, as family.

"Mrs. Blake?" they looked up to see Chris standing in front of them. She wiped her face and looked up at him.

"Yes?..." they saw how he searched for words.

"I...I'm so sorry please forgive me...I should have been with her, I should have been with Kat but my father locked me in my room so I couldn't go! I'm so sorry, forgive me..." he had lowered his head and his clenched fists were shaking like his shoulders from the sob's he tried to suppress.

Alex looked at this boy standing before her, because of her position she could see his trembling lips and the tears running down his cheeks. This friend of her daughter, begging for her forgiveness because he wasn't with her, she knew Kat liked this boy and that she had a weak spot for him, from the second she had first seen them together. So she stood and made him look at her.

"Chris...you would've been dead when you were there, they would have killed you. There is nothing you need forgiveness for. You couldn't have stopped them" she said and hugged him. "And now I want you to go home Chris, if we need your help we'll call okay?" she added and he nodded.

"Okay..."

"Wait here a second, I'm sure Anderson can drive you home" Alex said and walked over to the Agent. "Anderson?" the man turned quickly around.

"Yes Blake?" she noticed her still shaky vice and took a deep breath.

"Could you do me a favor and drive Chris over there home? Please?" she asked and he nodded.

"Of Course" he walked over to Chris and the two walked out of the bullpen, seconds later she saw two other people walking in which caused the tears to well in her eyes again. Christina and Joe who were all in tears themselves.

"Alex!" the two hurried over to her and Christina embraced her tight. "Andy told me what happened, I-" she couldn't continue when she looked into Alex's eyes seeing the pain and sheer despair in her eyes.

"They took her, they have my little girl Christina" Alex responded and her best friend hugged her again.

"I know and I'm so sorry."

"D-dad said that y-you need to talk to m-me" sobbed Joe and Alex nodded, before she could say anything she saw Spencer walking towards them with Hotch on his heels.

"Mrs. Henrickson? I'm Agent Hotchner and I need to talk to you, Reid is going to take Josephine to Agent Rossi" he said and Christina nodded, she gave Alex's hand a squeeze before she followed him and left Alex standing there alone. She sunk down on the chair at her desk and held her head in her hands. She had to do something!.

'Now think and concentrate, it won't help Kat if you sit here and whine around!' she thought trying to focus only on her daughter and what had happened. She got up and walked back to the Conference room she had to help them. A Hand laid on her shoulder and she turned around and looked at Spencer who walked behind her.

They walked up the stairs and suddenly stopped, when they saw a person they last expected.

"Emily?" Reid asked and their raven haired friend turned around, a bottle of wine in her hands.

"Hi Reid! I was just saying that we should have a little party, as I'm back for a little vacation you know" she said before JJ or Morgan could stop her. Alex and Spencer's faces fell and Emily looked confused.

"Emily, didn't you watch the news?" JJ said.

"No, why? What's wrong?" she answered, but it was Alex who answered.

"A party?…My daughter was not only abducted by two men who already killed four other girls but also raped and burned with a soldering iron and you want to have a party? A party? We need to find my daughter before she is killed! Who the hell do you think you are?" Alex asked outrageous and turned on her heels, before she would do something she was gong to regret or locked up for. Reid stared angrily at Emily before he ran after Alex.

"What the? Who was this, and what is going in with Spencer?" Emily asked.

"Emily this was Alex Blake, she replaced you and her daughter was abducted last night. Spence and her are together" JJ said.

"Wait together like-? Never mind, oh my...I didn't know that, I turned the radio and news off in the jet, because I wanted a peaceful vacation, shit" she said and walked off to apologize to them. Emily found them by a desk, Spencer had his hands on her shoulders and talked to Alex who had her arms crossed over her chest.

"Agent Blake, Reid? I'm so sorry, I didn't knew what happened and I would have never said this, if I had known what happened to your daughter and I'll do everything in my power to help you find her" Emily said and watched how Spencer laid his arm around Blake.

"I apologize too, I- shouldn't have reacted like that." Alex replied, but Emily could tell that she wasn't really forgiven yet.

"Why don't we go back" suggest Reid and the three of them walked back to the conference room.

"I would like to help, so maybe you could fill me in?" Emily asked once they were with the others.

"Two days ago we were called on a Case, first three and later four teenage girls, all looking the same and having similar interests, were abducted here in Virginia. They were tortured with a soldering iron and had a rod burned on their back as well as a bible quote 'I will send them out for you to take them and do with them whatever you want' the first girl was found hanging at a street sign and the other one was hung in a tree at her boyfriend's house the next one was found in a forest and the last victim beside the road."

"Then after we came back here, Kat called saying that two men were inside the house, shortly after the connection went down and we rushed over, but we were too late. The men had kidnapped Kat, one was killed by her in the process. Then...half an hour ago we got a video by the Unsub showing him, burning and...raping Kat" JJ told Emily who nodded.

"Do we know the man who was killed by Kat?"

"No, he is like a Ghost he, doesn't exist" Garcia answered.

"Can I see him?" Emily asked and JJ shared a questioning glance with Morgan, they knew Emily had an Idea. Garcia brought up the picture of the dead man and they heard Emily gasp, which caused Alex head to snap up.

"What? Do you know who this is?" she asked.

"Yes, his name is Vladimir Gromow. We still don't know how many people he and his partner Vlad killed, we think around thirty women and teenagers and we have no idea how many people they sold. Your daughter killed a man who is wanted by Interpol since eight years." Emily said and looked at Alex.

"Please understand when I'm not that thrilled that my daughter had to kill someone and was still abducted."

"At least we know who the other guy is, I tried to catch them myself for a year now. Those two aren't the smartest in the world, the only thing they are experts in are hiding, we knew after the third kill that ita was them, but we were never able to find them in time. They mostly abducted alone standing woman with children, they get the child, the mother does what they want and they sell them to the highest bidder."

"My daughter was sold?" Emily realized a bit too late what she had said, but after what Alex already knew and saw, there was no way to tell her in a better way.

"I'm afraid so, I'm sorry." Reid closed his eyes and for a moment he pulled Alex into a hug before she freed from his embrace, but stayed close to him so he could put his arm around her.

"To what people are they selling the-...victims?" Alex asked, she just had to know. Emily knew she had no choice in this case no answer was still an answer. She still tried to spare the details to the woman who's daughter had been in the hand of this man.

"…You don't want to know. Trust me." the brunette took a deep breath and nodded.

"That bad?...What? come on, brothel? Private customers? Girl trafficking? Sex slavery/ trafficking?" the devastated mother asked.

"I can't tell you who they are going to sell her to here...but in Europe...all of it, brothels, private customers, girl trafficking, sex slavery and trafficking." her daughter could be anywhere in a brothel, with some pervert, or maybe she was going to be sold to some human traffickers who were going to sell her to who knows were.

"It can only be a private customer, traffickers wouldn't have killed any of the others and it looked like a basement and if it was a brothel they would have give her to the man with the most money as she was a virgin-" Morgan stopped himself and looked at Alex apologetically who paled even more.

She tried not to break down in front of everybody, she really tried. Alex hid her face in her hands for a moment, before she shook off Reid's hands and started walking out "I'm sorry" she managed to say before her legs gave in and blackness over took her.

* * *

 

Kat stared into the darkness, lying motionless on the bed. She didn't knew for how long, but the pain in her genitals, of _him_ tearing her apart, was finally starting to less. For how long was she here? Were her Mom and Spencer searching for her? Had they any leads where she was?.

After he had finished, he had chained her to the bed again the burns on her back and the other bruises hurt but she was able to take the pain. The only thing she was scared of, was of him coming back and her parents to be too late to save her before she was married to him.

Her throat burned from all the screaming and the lack of water, she hadn't had anything to drink except the glass of coke to dinner before they had taken her. Or anything to eat, but that was something she could also take, the thirst was something different.

She had to think of something else, she had to take her mind off of this place. 'Think of something nice, think of a nice day'

* * *

 

" _Mom! That looks stupid! I don't wanna wear this and I don't wanna go to this stupid school play" a ten year old Kat whined in her pink sugar plum fairy costume and stumped her right foot on the ground. She had to play one of the sugar plum fairy's in the nutcracker which her class was going to perform and was less than thrilled from the beginning._

" _Come on Kat it's not so bad, you just have to wear it for one hour of which you only have to dance ten minutes." Alex said kneeling in front of her daughter and kissed her cheek, she knew it wasn't easy for her, since James was missing, Kat had spend most of her time in her room or in front of the living room window waiting for her father to come home._

" _I love you Kat" her daughter smiled a little at her._

" _I love you too Mama…can I get out of this now?" Alex chuckled and when there was a knock on the door she knew it were Christi and Joe._

" _Hi! Wow, you look great Joe" Alex greeted them when she saw the two visitors but Joe looked as excited as Kat and just shuffle past her to stand next to Kat, now there were two really annoyed sugar plum fairy's._

" _Seems like Kat is loving her costume too" Christina said her voice dripping with sarcasm._

" _You bet, w_ _here is Andy?" Alex asked ignoring her friends comment._

" _He is going to watch the boy's. We don't need three crying babies in one row" her friend knew she wouldn't let Ethan out of her sight, so the seven month old boy was going to be with them, other than her two five month old twins, he was quieter and easier to handle, except when they were together._

" _True, I'll get Ethan and then we can go" Alex said went to the playpen were she lifted Ethan up who had been busy with the trying to eat his own feet._

" _How's the tooting going?" asked Christi and tickled Ethan's tummy when she held him so Alex could put on a jacket and also dress the little guy so he wouldn't get cold._

" _Better, we're over the worst, at least I hope so." When everybody was ready they got into a car and drove to the school. When they were there, Kat was quiet while Joe tried to bribe and persuade her mother into letting her go._

" _Sweetie, are you okay?" Alex asked and Kat looked away._

" _Yeah..."_

" _Kat?"_

" _What if I trip and fall? What if I stand there and forget what I'm suppose to do?" she asked._

" _Kat, sweetie that's not gonna happen and you know it, you are going to do great and if you trip and fall it's not so bad okay? Don't worry, I know you'll do great" her mother insured her and Kat smiled a bit._

" _You won't be disappointed?"_

" _Oh Darling, I will never be disappointed in you, surely not because of this okay? Come here" she pulled her into a tight hug and kissed her cheek. She parted from her and smiled at Kat again before Kat hurried behind stage. Like Alex said, Kat did great and when they all stood on the stage after a successful play and bowed, she blew her a kiss and held both her thumps up making her daughter grin._

* * *

 

" _Maybe I should cancel and go to the other seminar" Alex said and stopped hurrying around to see if she had everything. Just this morning the Seminar leader had called and told her that one space was still free for the two day Seminar on Graphology this weekend in Boston. The other option was a Seminar over the whole week with two hours per day. She had decided to participate on the two day version but regretted it now, she didn't want to leave him alone with her little rascals._

" _Alex, I told you that you can go, I can handle them, promise. And I did my whole paperwork, so I have the weekend off, please don't make me go home and spend it with three dozen books I already know inside out" Spencer said and pulled Ethan's shirt down as it had slide up when the little guy tried to climb Mount Spencer._

" _He's right mom, you really wanted to go, now you can, so go. We're going to be fine" Kat said from her spot on the kitchen island. Alex looked at her and than at her son. It was fascinating how fast he came to like Spencer, normally it took him way more time to warm up to people like that, but he had befriended with Reid right on the spot. Okay, to be fair, the young FBI Agent had been here almost every time when he had the time in the past half year._

" _Okay, okay...well then I have to go, catch a plane. I love you Kat and for God's sake do what Spencer says! I have my spies, I'll know if you don't" she said and ignored the annoyed, prepubescent eye roll before her daughter kissed her cheek and Alex turned around to say goodbye to her son._

_"Oh come here baby, Mommy is going to miss you so, so, so much" Alex said and hugged Ethan close who clung tightly to her._

" _Love you Mommy" he mumbled into her neck and Alex gave him a big kiss and a peck on the cheek._

" _I love you too, very much and I can't wait until I'm back and you tell me what funny things you did with Kat and uncle Spence" she said and he pouted, reluctantly Alex handed him over to Reid. She took her bag and walked out, followed by her daughter and Spencer, they waved at her when she back out of the drive way._

" _Come on Ethan, let's tuck you in" Spencer said in the evening and knelt down next to the sofa on which Kat and Ethan sat._

" _No." Reid sighed._

_"No?" he asked._

" _No, wanna wait for Mommy" the little boy said and nibbled at his fingertips and Kat rolled her eyes smiling._

" _Mommy isn't coming home tonight, you have to sleep two more times and then she's coming home" Spencer said smiling and Ethan seemed to think about it for a moment._

" _Okay!" he jumped down from the sofa and ran up the stairs, as fast as his little feet would carry him. Kat sighed_

" _Great, now he's going to go on our nerves when he can go to bed, great job Spencer" she said a light mocking tone in her voice._

" _You want to put him down? Then be my guest" he said but Kat shook her head grinning._

" _Nope you've made your bed, now you must lie in it" she replied and Spencer rolled his eyes before he went upstairs himself. In Ethan's room he saw him lying in his bed with his eyes squeezed shut tightly and the blanked up to his nose._

" _How many times?" Spencer grinned._

" _You have to sleep t_ _wo more-" in this moment his phone vibrated and he saw that it was Alex who called._

" _You set any cameras in here?" he asked._

" _'Course I have, stop picking your nose and send my kids to bed." Spencer chuckled, before he looked at Ethan._

" _Number on is ready, you want to say good night?"_

" _Yes please." Spencer smiled at Ethan._

" _Hey guess who's on the phone, it's Mom" immediately Ethan sat straight up and Spencer gave him the phone._

" _Hi mommy!...in the park, it was funny...Kat let the dinner burn...yeah it smelled icky!...miss you...night mommy, love you too" he said and gave the phone back to Spencer._

" _Again thank you for doing this Spencer and for letting me say goodnight."_

" _No problem"_

" _It's been quiet a day, I'll go to bed. Goodnight Spencer."_

" _Okay, goodnight Alex." he said and hung up moments later, he than put his cellphone away and looked at Ethan._

" _You said goodnight to mommy and now we go to sleep okay? Goodnight Ethan."_

" _Night Daddy" Spencer froze and blinked at the boy smiling up at him, had he really called him daddy? 'He's two and a half and sleepy, don't think anything of it' he told himself._

" _Goodnight" he said and got up only to see a smiling Kat leaning against the door frame to her brothers room. Reid closed the door and looked at her._

" _Did you hear him calling me-?"_

" _Yeah, first times was about three months ago, took Mom a lot to explain to him that you aren't his dad, but it happened more lately."_

" _Kat I really didn't intent to-"_

" _I know, but rather you than that jerk mom calls her boyfriend, why do you think you are here and he isn't? Night Spencer." with that Kat left a surprised, but quite happy Spencer behind._

* * *

 

_Kat, Joe and Freddy got out of their Biology class and made heir way over to the lockers through the flow of students._

" _So what do you want to do on the weekend?" Freddy asked._

_"Dunno, what about a movie and burgers at Pete's?" Joe asked and the other two thought about it._

" _Yeah why not, your still allowed out, or is you mom going to arrest us when we go and stay up late?" Freddy mocked Kat while she put her things in her locker. She showed him her middle finger and rolled her eyes._

" _Just because she is officially back with the BAU doesn't mean she is going to be all FBI now"_

" _BAU?"_

" _Behavioral Analysis Unit. That's why she is traveling around the country to catch serial killers, they are some sort of Super Special Unit you can only work in, in Quantico" she answered and got out her English books. The bell rang and the students started to go back to their classes as were the three friends._

" _Hey Blake, heard your Mommy is back with the Fed's" they all turned around and looked at Lauren and her friend Sarah._

" _And? Didn't know it was any of your business" Kat said cold, Lauren picked on her since the first day in middle school and Kat had been really angry to learn she was still going to high school with her bully but managed to ignore most f the bullshit the girl said._

" _Wasn't your_ _mother suspended for locking up the wrong guy in 2001, how come they want her back? You know, I have quite an explanation for it-"_

" _Why don't you just shut the fuck up?!" Kat hissed and Joe took her arm._

" _Come on Kat, just ignore her, she isn't worth it" she said and tried to pull her with her, after a moment Kat turned around._

" _You wanna hear it? I bet you mom spread her legs for everybody, screwing her way up-" Freddy and Joe saw Kat's clenched jaw and her fists shaky with rage, they were angry at Lauren for that too, Alex was like an aunt or second mother to Joe and Freddy was also always welcome in their home, he liked Alex._

" _Kat, don't" Freddy pulled her with them but then she poke up again._

" _Bet that's way Daddy droves is car into a tree huh? Didn't want to be with your whore mother anymore, maybe he found out he isn't your little brothers father, because she let everybody fuck her and-" Kat had shaken off her friends hands which had been holding her back and with a few big steps she stood in front Lauren and had punched her in the face, before said knew what was happening._

_Lauren fell down but Kat was already on top of her hitting her again, before she was pulled off of her by Freddy and Joe._

" _You stupid bitch don't you ever dare to say one word against my mother!" she yelled and Lauren jumped up her lips had split open and hand over her eye and with the other she hit Kat in the face giving her a nosebleed._

" _Hey! What is going one?" they all turned to look at their teacher Ms. Thomas._

" _She it me!" Lauren said still holding her hand over her eye, while Kat whipped the blood off with the back of her hand._

" _Because you insulted my mother as a whore and that my father killed himself because of us!" Kat answered, accepting the tissue Joe handed her._

" _You two come with me. And you three go to class!" she said and they followed her to her office as she was also the liaisons teacher and was trying to keep the less serious stuff under the table._

" _So what happened?" she asked once they were seated in her office._

" _I was only talking to her and she flipped out and hit me!" Lauren said and Kat bit her lip._

" _Kat...why did you hit her?" Ms. Thomas asked._

" _She said my mother is only with the FBI again because she spread her legs for everybody, that my Dad drove his car against a tree, because he couldn't stand my whore mother and wasn't the father of my little brother."_

" _That's a total lie!"_

" _I don't think so Lauren, both of you are going to go home now and you'll have detention next Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. You can call you parents now or someone who can get you." Kat didn't care, at least she had punched her for saying this about her mother. Lauren was first and as she wasn't living far away and her mother had nothing to do, she came to pick her up really quick._

_Kat thought about who she should call and then took the phone._

" _Hello?"_

" _Spencer?"_

" _Kat? Why are you calling, are you okay?" he asked._

" _Yeah, quite fine. Am I interrupting?" she asked and whipped away some blood which still dripped out of her nose._

" _No, what is going on?"_

" _Err...I got into a fight in school and…I need to be picked up, could you do that please? I don't wanna tell mom" she asked._

" _Oh- yeah, okay, I'll be on my way" he answered._

" _Thanks" with that, Kat hung up._

_She waited until she got a message from Spencer telling her that he was outside the school. She showed the message to Ms. Thomas who gave her the permission to leave. Outside she saw Spencer waiting at his car and walked over._

" _What happened to your nose?" he asked and looked at it_

" _Well apparently this stupid bitch didn't like being hit and punched back"_

" _And you wonder about that?" Kat froze and turned around._

" _M-mom?" behind her stood her mother, arms crossed over her chest, looking totally not amused. She looked back at Spencer, "You told Mom?!" she hissed._

" _Yes, he did. Kat, what happened?" Alex asked serious._

" _I got in a fight" but the look of her mother made Kat realize that she had only one more chance. "Okay...Lauren insulted me, I punched her, she punched me back and Ms. Thomas caught us, told us to go and gave both of us three days of detention."_

" _What did she say that made you hit her?" Kat swallowed._

" _She said, that you were only with the FBI again because...you slept your way up, that Dad killed himself because he couldn't be us anymore and because he wasn't Ethan's father as...you would sleep with everyone."_

" _So you hit her?" Kat stared at her._

" _I won't let anybody talk about you like that, and just for the record, she is bullying me since middle school and I never said or did anything! But that was enough!" she answered angrily. Alex stepped closer to her and pulled Kat into a tight hug._

" _You don't have to do something like that because of me, honey"_

" _She had no right to say something like that about you and dad!" Kat mumbled and Alex kissed her cheek._

" _She hadn't, but I don't care what a teenage girl says about me, and neither should you. But if she ever dares to lay a hand on you again, I'll show her why I'm with the FBI."_

" _I love you mom" she whispered._

" _I love you too Kat. Let's get you home" Alex said and Kat looked at her suspicious._

_"I'm not grounded?" she asked._

" _I didn't intent to ground you, but if you want-"_

" _No, no, I'm good with detention" Reid smiled and when they were driving home he looked at Kat via the rearview mirror._

" _Just curious, what did you do with the other girl?"_

" _Gave her a black eye and split lip" when Reid looked at Alex, he swore he saw a smile washed over Alex's lips and chuckled._

* * *

 

Kat opened her eyes again, though there wasn't much differences as when she had them closed. She wanted home, she wanted them to find and save her, she couldn't last much longer here. What if they were to late and she was going to be married to him? She heard steps coming down to her, but those were light ones, it wasn't him.

The door opened and she saw a woman coming in it wasn't Sarah and for that, Kat was glad too.

"My name is Maggie, yours is Kathrin right?" she asked and Kat nodded.

"Yes..."

"I know it hurts, but it will stop, I promise. I have some water for you" she said and lifted her head so Kat could drink.

"Thanks."

"No need...I wanna help you, you don't deserve this, none of us does but...there is still time to help you. Most of us will go to another wedding in the neighbor village tomorrow night, I'll come and let you go, you have to run as fast as you can, about a mile through the forest there is a phone booth you can call-"

"Maggie?!" bellowed someone upstairs.

"I have to go!"

"Will he come back?" Kat asked, her voice full of fear.

"No not until your wedding" with that Maggie hurried upstairs again leaving Kat behind.

"I'll survive this, I'll survive this...Mom and the others will find me!" she whispered into the dark.

* * *

 

When Alex woke up she didn't knew where she was, but after she blinked a couple of times she saw white walls and ceiling, she touched her face something strange touched her cheek and nose. Alex realized it was a tube, she was in a hospital.

She looked around and she was indeed in a hospital room, then she noticed the person standing at the window. "Spencer?" he whirled around and a look of relief replaced the look of concern o his face.

"Alex! I'm so glad your awake" he said and sat beside her bed, to take her hand.

"What happened?" she asked her voice hoarse.

"Here drink something" he handed her a cup and she drank in small sips, feeling the water coat her throat and empty stomach.

"What happened?" she asked again.

"You broke down Darling, it was all too much for you and you haven't eaten or drank anything for two days" Spencer explained.

"How long have I been out?" Alex asked trying to remember what had happened.

"A little over a day. They forced me to sleep too, I woke up some hours ago."

"And what about Kat? Did you find her or do you have at least a lead?" she asked and took the annoying nasal prongs off.

"No...we send the pictures to the family's but none of them recognized this man." He said and Alex knew him well enough to know that this wasn't all.

"Spencer." he sighed and squeezed her hand.

"We found Vlad, dead, out side Weber City no trace of Kat." he said and Alex stared at him for a moment before she pulled the blanket aside and swung her legs out of bed, realizing she was only in a hospital robe she looked around for her clothes, while her right tried to get rid of the IV in her hand.

"Where are my clothes?" she asked.

"What do you think your doing Alex?" Spencer asked and held her back.

"I'm leaving!"

"No. You'll stay, please Alex you have been unconscious for over a day" he said and tried to push her back down.

"I will not stay here and wait until Kat is dead!" Alex argued back.

"And what are you going to do if you get out of here? Drive round in a car looking for her?"

"I don't know! But I have to do something!"

"I know Alex, but we can't, the others won't let us, we can stay there but we can't help them." Spencer said and finally Alex stopped struggling.

"Okay, but please I want out of here, you now that I can't stand hospitals"

"You'll eat something and then I'll get a doctor who can clear you to go" Alex opened her mouth to object but Spencer leaned in and gave her a small kiss.

"We'll either do it my way or you are going to stay, do you realize what it was like to see you breaking down? How scared I was to lose you too?" he said and because she loved him, Alex gave in.

Though she didn't even know what she was eating Alex gulped the food down as fast as Spencer would let her and did the same thing with the glass of water before he would finally get a doctor who, reluctantly cleared her to go. After a shower and in some fresh clothes Alex and Spencer left the hospital.

Back in the BAU they stepped out of the elevators and were greeted by the whole everyday hectic, they walked in the bullpen and the first to see them was Garcia.

"You're back! God, we were so worried about you!" she said and pulled Alex into tight hug.

"I'm okay." she answered and gave her a small smile. "Where are the others?" she asked.

"Conference room" the blonde answered and the couple made their way up.

"Alex." JJ said surprised when she saw her and the others turned around.

"I'm fine…." she said before anyone else could say something.

"Are you sure?" Hotch asked.

"Yes. Spence told me you found the other man?"

"We did, shot in the back of the head, in a short distance" Morgan told her "We couldn't find his vehicle so we can't tell if there was anything inside from Kat or pointing to her whereabouts. But there was something on his shoes, the same kind of earth like on the girls, only this time the lab found also wood with a bark beetle."

"And how exactly is this going to help us?" asked the worried mother, so Emily answered.

"Because of what they found, the lab was able to narrow down the possibility where Kat is, from somewhere in north east Tennessee to this area." she said and showed it to them on a map.

"But, that's a twenty mile radius! How are we supposed to find her there?"

"We are still working on that." JJ said.

"What are these three dots meaning?" this time it was Spencer asking.

"They stand for three small polygamist compounds we know of." Then there was a knock on the door, they all looked up to see Anderson standing there.

"Sorry to interrupt, but there is a man in the bullpen, he believes he knows where Kathrin is" before he finished, Alex and Spencer had already hurried past him, the others close behind. When Alex saw the older man standing beside a desk, she stopped shocked.

"Phil?" she asked and her former neighbor turned around, she hadn't seen him since he had moved out three years ago.

"You know him?" asked Hotch.

"Yes, he was my neighbor until he moved away three years ago!"

"Alex, I'm so sorry! I had no Idea until he called!" he said and looked truly sorry.

"Who called? Who has my daughter?" she asked, her heart hammering in her chest.

"I think my brother does" Nobody said anything for a moment, Alex thought about him, yes remembered him! A year after they had moved to Alexandria she had caught him playing with Kat, while he visited his brother. She had told him to leave her alone and complained about him by Phil who had made sure that he wouldn't come near her again.

"Oh my god...I remember him, a year after he moved in I caught him playing with Kat while he was visiting. I told him to leave her alone and I told you to keep him away...I never saw him again!" Alex said.

"I should have told you, I'm sorry, I'm from a polygamist compound, I didn't want to live like that so I got kicked out, but he was a different story. After that incident he would always talk about Kathrin, so I didn't allow him to come again. Two hours ago he called and told me I'm...invited to his wedding, he told me he found a new wife."

"Where does he live?" asked Hotch.

"Hoot Owl Hollow Road he has his own little compound it's in a forest" Phil answered.

"Emily?" Hotch asked the woman who looked at the map.

"Right in the middle of the area we set."

"Let's go"

* * *

 

Kat waited and waited, it seemed like forever then finally the door opened, she hadn't even hear foot steps so she knew it was Maggie who would free her.

"We have to hurry their not going! He want's to marry you tonight" she said and Kat stared at her while she opened the chains.

"What? But how can I go when-?"

"Leave that to me! You're on Hoot Owl Hollow Road Tennessee, if you reach the phone booth you need to know where you are" she said and helped Kat getting up. Pain shot through her body when she walked but she wanted to go she had to run or it would be too late, so she clenched her teeth and walked up the stairs.

They stood in a hallway she could her the voices of woman and children, no man. Maggie led her to the right, to a door which she opened to reveal a backyard. "When I count to three you will run as fast as you can, just straight forward okay?"

There was a sound of a truck and both Kat and Maggie froze, they heard the truck doors open and close.

"We're home! We were lucky, there was just enough meat for everybody! Sarah go get the bride!"

"Run!" Maggie hissed and took a gun out of the pocked of her apron along with some coins she gave Kat "If you make it, contact my parents Lucas and Molly Quin, tell them I love them and that I never stopped loving them! I'll hold them back as long as I can, run!" she said and shoved her out the door closing it.

Kat started to run as fast as she could ignoring the pain in her body, she had to run, or she was doomed! She flinched each time she heard the shots, each getting quieter as the last one, as she was still running for her life.

She didn't really felt the tiny branches on the forest soil, pierce into her feet or the bushes with their little thorns grabbing her and ripping her skin, Kat just kept running her heart pounding in her ears, then she heard it, dogs barking and shouting, they were chasing her!

Was she still running in the right direction? What if they found her? What had happened to Maggie? They probably killed her or they would punish her, Kat didn't knew what was worse, she rather wanted to die than marry him and life there with the others. She notice that she was running up a hill or something, her lungs burned like her muscles, but she kept running she couldn't stop!

When she was on top of the small hill she ran without thinking and fell flat on her face and rolled down the hill, over old branched, leaves and roots. Something cracked in her right leg and a new wave of pain shot through her body. Finally she stopped but Kat couldn't get up, she tried, but everything hurt and she had no chance. Not with her leg broken. She heard voice of men and the barking getting closer she saw how a faint light danced over her.

"Kat!" she knew that voice, it was her mother! Tears ran down her face she had found her! "Kathrin! Sweetheart I'm here, I'm here!" she wanted to say something but couldn't, her mouth wouldn't open and her eyelids were getting heavy.

Kat didn't feel the hands turning her around, but she saw more people coming and then the face of her mother came closer. Only that the smiling face of her mother vanished and then Kat realized that she wasn't save, that her mother wasn't there.

"Got you" he said and the last thing Kat saw before she lost her consciousness was his smiling face.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are they able to get there in time? Please review.


	14. Chapter 14

" _Hurry up now!...Clear!"_

_One._

" _Nothing, Clear!"_

_Two._

" _Come on don't do this. Clear!"_

_Three._

" _You're not gonna die! Clear!"_

_Four._

" _No fucking way, Clear!"_

_Five._

_Through the glass he watched horrified how the straight line went over the monitor and listened to the permanent ear piercing beep tone._

* * *

She didn't really know how, but somehow Alex ended up in this SUV together with Spencer, JJ and Hotch on the way to save her daughter from the man who had taken her from them. Her heart was beating fast in her chest would they be in time? And what if she was alive, but broken beyond repair, what if she would never get her daughter back. She knew exactly how this all could effect her.

The closer they got to where her daughter was the faster was her heart beating, she was worried sick for her daughter but also beyond furious, she wanted revenge, she wanted their heads for what they did to their daughter. Still she couldn't find a clear thought, around fifty thoughts went through her head in a second.

She saw how Hotch threw a glance at her and Spencer, "Alex, Spencer, when we get there you will stay back understood, we can't risk that when we catch him the defense is going to use your active presence as a way to decrease the conviction" he said.

"I will try" Alex said and then she reached over to Spencer and took his hand in hers to hold it tight, Spencer squeezed her hand.

"I love you, no matter what, we'll get through this okay? We will" he said and Alex nodded fear in her eyes of what they were going to find.

And then they were there, they got out of the cars, she saw Morgan and the other SWAT members run to the house with their guns raised, Rossi, JJ and Emily lead other Agents around the house to surround it. Hotch stayed with them to make sure they wouldn't go in, Alex would've went in too, if she hadn't known that she would try to kill everyone who wasn't her daughter.

So Alex and Spencer only held onto each other like their life depended on it and held their breaths until they heard Morgan through the radio.

"I got her! She's unconscious but alive, she's alive Alex!" and then another SWAT Agent.

"Clear, we have them all, they surrendered!" Spencer wrapped her in a bone crushing hug and she buried her face in his neck, she was alive! Her baby was alive she at least had a chance to survive!

Then everything went really fast.

"A bomb! Get out of here!" they froze and stared at the house, Agents came running out some had children in their arms. Rossi came running to them with a little boy in his arms screaming for his mother, Emily and JJ came form the other side. Morgan was nowhere to be seen.

"Where's Mor-" Emily's sentence was cut of by the explosion nearly throwing them off their feet. Alex looked up to see the complete house on fire, still small explosions went off, but what stopped her breathing, her heart and her complete world was the fact, that Morgan and Kat were nowhere to be seen, they hadn't made it out. They were dead. They had been too late to save her.

She only took two steps before a set of strong arms went around her body to hold her where she was, it wasn't Spencer he still stood behind her unable to move, it was Hotch who stood in front of her and was talking to her. She tried to get free, tried to fight his hands off so much that Rossi had to help him, but she still kicked, hit and tried to get free, eyes locked on the burning house she wanted to run in.

She wanted to burn, she wanted to burn because everything was better than the unbearable pain that started to spread through her whole body. While fighting with her two colleagues she saw glimpses of a crying JJ who watched the burning house with a hand over her mouth.

Emily who went next to Spencer, who was still standing there paralyzed with shock, tears gleamed in her eye's, over the pain she saw in his eyes and their fail to save Kat.

"Let me go...let me go now. I need to go in! I need to find Kat...let go of me!" she said and kicked Rossi's shin so hard that he would let go and Hotch alone wasn't able to hold her. She stumbled, felt more arms trying to get a hold of her but she was already out of their reach, running towards the flames. Tears started to blurry her sight then suddenly she was grabbed by her arm and spun around nearly causing her and the person who had reached her to fall over.

This time it were more familiar arms around her, it was Spencer who held her back from running into her death and while he held her the pain was overwhelming her. With a heart shattering scream she fell to her knees, her hands dug into the cold earth and tears streamed down her face as Alex screamed out the pain and grief over her daughter's death.

* * *

_She held the pregnancy test in her hand, and looked at the two lines, she had been so scared but the fear was fading and replaced by pure happiness, she was pregnant._

_She laid here at her OB/GYN's looking at the black and white screen with tears in her eyes while she listened to the most beautiful music there was, the heartbeat of her daughter. Her daughter, she was having a baby girl!_

_She laid in bed reading a book waiting for James, suddenly something prodded against her belly from the inside, she blinked a couple of times, her hand traced over the spot and there it was again, for the first time she really felt her baby moving, her baby, her daughter._

_She was in pain and simply exhausted but all of it was gone once she looked into the little face of her daughter when she was placed in her arms, there was nothing on this earth she could love more._

_She listened to Kathrin's babbling while she was making dinner. A loud, sudden squeal got her attention and she looked up only to see how her eight month old let go of the coffee table to make a few wobbly steps towards her._

" _What do you want to eat baby?" Alex asked not expecting an answer from Kathrin."Bapple" Alex blinked "What?" her daughter pointed her finger at the bowl full of Apples to her right "Bapple."_

_Kat ran towards her in a blue dress, her hair up in small pig tails and she smiled brightly at her mother, "I love you mommy!"_

" _I hate you! I wish you weren't my Mom!"_

" _You don't hate me Mommy?" Alex laid next to Kat and pressed a kiss her cheek. "I could never hate you, not matter what, I will always love you, there is nothing in the world you could say or do to change that baby."_

_They stood in front of the new House and Kat's grip on her hand tightened a bit. "It's gong to be okay" she tried to ensure her._

" _Hello! My name is Josephine I life across the street what's your name?" "K-Kathrin" "Cool! You wanna play with me? I just got a new hula hoop now I have two!" Kat looked up at her and Alex nodded smiling, watching as the two ran off to play._

_Kat had her hands pressed against her belly and waited for her brother to kick, when it happened she grinned up at her in amazement "Wow..."._

_She held Ethan carefully in her arms and then looked up, "I'm going to be the best big sister, I will always protect him"_

_Alex held her tight while Kat cried into her chest over the death of her father._

" _Why aren't you asking Spencer on a date?" she blushed hard "Because me and him are just friends." Kat raised one eyebrow "Yeah of course, and I'm Spock" she said throwing flour at her._

_They laughed so hard when they saw each other that they had tears in their eyes, both of them were full of flour, as Kat had decided to make a flour battle out of their cookie baking._

" _You're really okay with me and Spencer being together?" Kat hugged her "Of course, I want you to be happy Mom and you're happy with Spence"_

" _I love you Mom" Those should be the last words her daughter said to her._

* * *

In Spencer's arms she watched the house burning down, still crying and she could hear his own sobs while he held her, while he tried to be strong for her, but Alex couldn't feel anything, everything was numb expect for the pain.

"Why? Why my daughter?" she screamed and ripped out the grass under her fingers, she was breathing heavily between the sob's even though she didn't know why she was breathing anyway. Someone else kneeled down next to her and Spencer and took her hand, Alex looked at the face of JJ, the still burning flames illuminated the tears on her cheeks and for a second it seemed like she wanted to say something.

"Why?" now her broken voice was barely above a whisper and new tears spilled over JJ's cheeks.

"I don't know." out of the corners of her eye she saw the other three walking over Rossi crouched down next to them and laid his hand on her shoulder unable to say something.

"We're so sorry Alex..." Hotch said and she had never seen this man show many emotions and now she didn't care but someday she would appreciate the tears in his eyes. When a new wave of tears would wash over her Spencer pulled her back in his arms and kissed her forehead, closing his own eyes under which tears ran over his cheek.

"Oh my god, Alex-" again Emily was interrupted but this time by shout of a very familiar voice.

"Help me!"

* * *

When they where at the house, Morgan shortly told the Agent's he would take with him the plan of attack, but before they actually went in, he glanced over his shoulder at Alex and Spencer and he saw all the worry, fear and hope in their eyes, he would bring them Kat back!

Morgan ran to the front door of the house with anger in his body and even the seconds the two Agents in front of him needed to kick the door down seemed way too long, he walked in behind them and found around fifteen people in the room behind, around eight children, four women and three men all sat there and didn't even move when they entered.

But Morgan didn't care none of them was Kat, they walked further inside, at the end of the hallway a door to his left opened and a woman with a gun stepped out.

"He's the prophet! She belongs to him! You won't take her!" she screamed but was dead before she could fire, Morgan looked in the room behind her and his breath was caught in his throat when he saw Kat lying on a bed.

The parts of her body which weren't covered by the simple white dress were covered in dirt, the woman had been in the middle of cleaning her when they came. Her hair was messy and leaves were stuck to it, her skin was bruised, scratched and bloody.

He quickly went over to her and searched for a pulse, "Come on Kat not now, we're here, we're all here to save you! You're going to be okay angle!" then he finally felt a faint pulse under his fingers and sighed in relieve.

"I got her! She's unconscious but alive, she's alive Alex!" Morgan told them through the radio and slide his arms around Kat's body slowly lifting her off the bed when he heard the others.

"A bomb! Get out of here!" Fuck. He would never make it out the front door and far enough away from the explosion. He laid Kat back down and tried the glass terrace doors, but they were locked so Morgan shot them, picked Kat up and ran out as fast as he could but they didn't get very far before the explosion went off and threw him off his feet, he tried but couldn't keep Kat in his arms. Then something hit the back of his head and he lost his consciousness.

When Morgan woke up his head hurt like hell and he couldn't see straight. He blinked and the heat of the burning house got more intense, turning around he saw the flames consuming the house, then a scream reached his ears.

"Why? Why my daughter?"

He quickly turned and looked around, then he saw a white body a few feet away from him, Kat! Ignoring the pain in his head and arm he crawled over to her, she laid on her stomach and Morgan could see the burnings on her back.

Morgan quickly checked for a pulse and after what seemed to be forever he found one "Just hang in there Kat! Don't give up, don't give up now sweetheart! You're the strongest girl I ever met come on don't give up, you can do this I know it sweetie" he mumbled and lifted her up in his arms again.

He walked around the burning house and in the distance he saw a group of people, three of them on the ground, Morgan knew that two of them were Spencer and Alex. They needed to know they weren't dead, Alex needed to know that her daughter was still alive.

"Help me!" Morgan shouted and struggled a little with Kat's body while walking, Hotch was the first to reach him and he quickly took Kat from his arms.

"Emily! Get the paramedics over here!" he said and in the next moment Alex was beside him.

"Is she alive?" she asked walking beside them touching Kat's cheek.

"Yes, she's alive, she's alive Alex!" then the were met by the paramedics. Hotch placed Kat as fast and gently on the stretcher as he could.

"Fast we need to move I barely got a pulse" one of the paramedics said as they loaded her up. "You should dive with us" he said to Morgan who shook his head.

"No, her mom should ride with her" he tried but in this moment his sight blurred again and Rossi had to help him standing.

"Go with them, just don't leave her alone!" Alex said, he nodded.

"I promise!" he said and got up into the ambulance, the next second the doors closed and they were on their way. "Don't, I'm okay mild concussion maybe, help your colleague and save her!" he said to the paramedic who tried to take care of him, but Kat needed it more. They finally had her Alex and Spencer had their daughter back, she couldn't die now, she had to be okay! She deserved a long happy life with her mom and dad.

She wasn't supposed to go from this world when her last days had been so cruel, when so much had been taken from her.

"We're nearly there hold in there...hey...hey sweetheart hello stay awake" the woman said and Morgan nearly jumped up, took Kat's hand and she looked at him.

"Hey Kat, hey it's me Morgan remember me? It's all going to be okay now we have you yeah, you're save sweetie you don't have to be scared anymore, your almost in the hospital your parents are on their way you hear? Your Mom is gong to be there and-...hey...no, no Kat, stay awake you have to stay awake! You hear me baby girl?!" he said and stared at her fluttering eyelids, she gave his hand a squeeze and then she let go and her hand fell. In the same moments the machines started to peep like crazy.

"Get away! Make room!" the woman said and hover over Kat injecting some meds but the machines didn't stop and Morgan grew more and more worried. Then suddenly they stopped and the doors opened.

"Fifteen year old girl, right leg broken, got nearly caught in an explosion, internal bleeding I started to lose her three minutes ago ventricular flutter, we need to hurry" they rushed her inside and he jogged after them all forgotten about the dizziness in his head.

They bough her into a room with more machines and lifter her onto a hospital bed and connected her to the machines, nearly as soon as they had done so the beeping started again this time even worse.

"Ventricular fibrillation! Defibrillator" they all started to run around and Morgan didn't quite understand then he knew what it meant as soon as they ripped the dress off and started to put the pads on her body, one just under her right shoulder and the other her left breast on her side.

"What is he still dong here? Get this man out now!" one doctor bellowed but he would let himself only be pushed out of the room so that he could watch through the window.

"Sir you need to-" a nurse tried to say but he interrupted her.

"You listen to me lady! This girl is the daughter of my colleagues and she was kidnapped, she went through the worst nightmare all on her own! And just when we found her her captor decided to blow himself up and make her mother believe her child died. I saved her and I promised her mom I wouldn't leave her alone, so when I'm not allowed to be in there, then I will stay right here until she is brought into surgery! You understand me?"

Morgan looked back in and saw that they stared to reanimate her and counted each time. "Hurry up now!...Clear!" One. "Nothing, Clear!" Two. "Come on don't do this. Clear!" Three. "You're not gonna die! Clear!" Four. "No fucking way, Clear!"Five. Through the glass he watched horrified how the straight line went over the monitor and listened to the permanent ear piercing beep tone.

"Come on Kat I know you're a fighter! Don't give up, you got out, you have been so brave! Come on please don't do this Kat, or I will tell everyone you like Nas!" he mumbled and then the permanent peeping stopped and Morgan wallowed the lump in his throat when he saw the waves on the monitor and heard the regular peeps and released the breath he didn't realize he had been holding.

He then watched how they rolled her out and around the corner of the hallway. "She's going into surgery?" he asked the nurse beside him who nodded in response.

"Yeah, I think she's going to make it...you are going to let me look at you?" she asked but he shook his head.

"No, I've had worse." Morgan said and walked through the doors he normally wouldn't have been allowed through.

"Morgan!" he looked up to see the other run towards him lead by Alex and Spencer.

"How's Kat?" Alex asked.

"They had to reanimate her, but she's in surgery right know, they think she has some internal bleeding but I don't know how bad" Morgan answered truthfully, then in the next second Alex had pulled him into a bone crushing hug.

"You saved her. You nearly lost your life to save my girl, I can never ever thank you enough in my whole life for this Derek, I will always be in you debt, always." Alex said and for a moment he pulled her close before he gently pushed her away.

"You don't have to thank me Alex, never you hear? And you are not in my debt. You're family! Kat is family we do everything for each other and I want you to know that you're the mother of the strongest and bravest girl on this planet. She will recover from this, I know she will, because she has you and Spencer as her parents." Derek said and Alex nodded looking at Reid who pulled her in her arms and kissed her cheek.

Now all they could do was wait, it was now in the hands of the surgeons and Kat.

* * *

The waiting was nearly as nerve-racking as the last days combined, but Alex wouldn't give up on her daughter now, not now after all her little girl had went through, she was back with them and she would make it, she knew it.

Alex sat down next to Spencer and he took her hand in his, she didn't really know how she had deserved him in her life but she knew now more then ever that she would always be thankful for it, because without him she would've lost it a long time ago.

As the hours went by she looked at her friends, her family and spoke for the first time since the conversation with Morgan.

"I just want to thank you all...you all brought me my daughter back and...I can't even put into words how much that means to me, I don't know how I can ever thank you enough for what you did" she said and JJ sent her a small, kind smile.

"You don't need to thank us Alex, and you clearly don't need to make up for it like Morgan said she's family and no one hurts one of this family without punishment" she answered.

Then a doctor approached them. "Are you the family of Kathrin?" he asked.

"Yes, I'm her mother, how is my daughter?" Alex asked as she and Spencer got up.

"We were able to successful operate on your daughter, she is stable and will make a full recovery from her physical wounds. I'm not so sure about her mental wounds though, you should talk to a therapist as soon as she wakes up, I assume you know about her-?"

"Yes, we know...please can I see her?" Alex asked.

"Normally I would say no but we'll make an exception for you" he said and lead them to Kat room, Alex walked inside and stopped for a moment before she sat down at her daughter's bed taking her hand and pressing a long kiss to her forehead as new tears ran over her cheeks.

"I love you Kat, I swear it's all going to be okay someday...I love you so much and no matter what Spence and I will help you I promise. It's all going to be okay baby."

* * *

**So finally Kat is saved but is she really going to recover from what happened? And is she really able to tell what happened? And what about Spencer, Alex and James?**

**The title was inspired by the song "Not About Angels" by Birdy! Maybe you listen to it while reading ;)**

**Please tell me if you liked the chapter!**


	15. I Won't Let It Destroy Me

 I Won't Let It Destroy Me

After two hours, Hotch and the others watched through the window, how Alex and Spencer still sat beside Kat's bed and waited for their daughter to wake up. Spencer had his right arm wrapped around Alex's side and held her hand in his other.

"Are there going to be consequences for them because of their relationship?" asked JJ whipping away the last traces of her tears and looked up at Hotch who stared at his co-workers sitting at the bed of their daughter trying to coop with everything that happened.

"I will do everything in my might that it won't go that far, but I can't promise anything" he answered and slowly tore his glance away from Alex and Spencer.

"Hey" they both turned around and looked at Morgan and Rossi walking towards them.

"How are you doing?" asked JJ immediately and Morgan gave her a small smile.

"Just some bruises and a small concussion…how is Kat?" he looked past them towards her room and his friends.

"Still the same...after all they have been trough they...there is a long road a head of them and-" JJ said when she was interrupted.

"Hey! Where is Kat?!" they turned around again and saw the person they last expected and wanted to see here, James Blake.

"Oh no, what is he doing here?" murmured Rossi.

"Where is Kat? Is she okay? Is she alive?" it was someone behind them who answered.

"Okay? You ask if she is okay? She went through hell, she is going to be far from okay for a while! And if you think I will let you even near her, your sure are a bigger idiot then I believed you were" Alex said and Hotch and JJ moves aside so Alex and Spencer could walk closer.

"Alex, she is my daughter too!" he argued and Spencer snorted scornful. "Hey what is your problem beanpole? Just because you fuck _my_ wife, doesn't mean that you get parental rights!"

"I will tell you what my problem is, you broke all three of them with the shit you have done, you have been no father to both to them and no husband to Alex, you cheated on her, you treated her like she was something for granted, something you owned damn it! You aren't her husband anymore and not their father you lost these rights that night you faked your death and disappeared for years!" Reid said and stepped closer to James, no one had ever seen him so angry.

"And I love Ethan and Kat like they were mine, I was there at Ethan's first day of school, his first soccer game, first school play, I taught him how to ride a bike, held his hand when he was scared when he had his appendix operation! I was there when Kat graduated from Junior High, she asked me to help her studying, I comforted her when her first crush broke her heart and it was me who was with them and holding their hands when Alex was nearly killed! I spent every free minute I had with them! I am their father, I may not be their biological one but Ethan is my son and Kat is my daughter! So don't you tell me I have no parental rights when you left them like dirt!" he nearly shouted at James and in the end he barely stood a foot in front of the man he nearly hated as much as the man who hurt Kat.

"You can be serious, what are you? Twenty? You're probably only after my daughter like-"

"Stop it! Stop it now! Both of you! What is wrong with you that you can even think about arguing over who is with me and who is their father! Kat went through hell and neither she or I need something like this damn it! James you are history I don't want to have anything to do with you, what you did to us comes right after now and the last time Kat was abducted, so leave us alone. I won't let you near Ethan and certainly not Kat until she is stable enough." Alex shouted and everyone looked at her.

"I'm sorry" Spencer said quickly and went over to lay his arm back around her. The others had no time to react when James stepped forward and grabbed Alex's arm hard and tried to pull her away from Spencer.

"James let go!" Alex yelled and tried to free herself from his grip "You're hurting me!" before anyone else could move, James would let go of Alex and stumble back out of surprise and the sheer force of Reid's punch, who stood above James the next second shoving him against the wall.

"If you ever touch her against her will again, or only come near her if she didn't say so, I will kill you! Don't you ever dare to lay a hand on her! Do you understand me? I will hurt you and that's a promise." he said through clenched teeth and stared at him with hate in his eyes.

"Spencer...Spencer let him go, he isn't worth it" Alex said and when he didn't make any attempts to let James go, she tried to pull him off of James. He hesitated but then let go of him, still, Reid wouldn't take his eyes off him.

"Ms. Blake your daughter is waking up!" a nurse said behind them and immediately Alex and Spencer hurried inside, while Hotch and Morgan stood in front of James to block said mans way.

"Don't even try, or he won't be the only one you have to be afraid of." Hotch said with his best glare and James quickly backed away.

Just when they were in Kat's room, their daughter opened her eyes. "Mom...Spencer?" she asked in a hoarse whisper.

"We're here Baby, we are here" Alex said, new tears well in her eyes and she took Kat's hand in one hand and stroked over her daughters cheek with the other.

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry Mom" Kat whimpered and squeezed her mothers hand.

"You don't have to be sorry for anything Kat, we're the ones who are sorry that we didn't protect you enough." Reid answered and took both Kat's and Alex's hand in his.

"You don't hate me?"

"We could never hate you! You're our daughter, we love you Kat, so much and nothing could ever change that! We're only happy that you are alive and back with us." Alex said and kissed Kat's cheek. She then wiped away the tears that escaped Kat's eyes and ran down her little girl's cheeks.

"He-he...he did...Mom he burned me..." Alex closed her eyes and carefully laid next to her daughter, who instantly shifted closer to her mother and buried her face in her mothers neck who, just held her sobbing daughter close.

"I know sweetheart, but he's gone, he will never get near you again, nobody will, I swear...I'm so sorry that I haven't been there to protect you. Please forgive me Kat" Alex whispered and held Kat close.

"It's not your fault…Mom, Spence...can you both promise me something?" Kat whispered.

"We'll promise anything honey." Spencer answered.

"Never stop working for the BAU...you wouldn't have found me in time if you didn't"

"Okay."

"W-was there the body of a girl in the backyard?" Kat mumbled.

"We don't know why?" Alex asked back.

"B-because she saved me...h-her name is-was Maggie, without her I would have been married to him...she freed me and gave me time to flee, I think they killed her because she help me...I-I should have taken her with me but I just...I just ran and left her there...Oh god!" Kat sobbed and buried her face in her mothers chest.

"You did nothing wrong Kat...it's not your fault do you hear? It's not your fault, nothing that has happened sweetie" Alex whispered in her daughters ear and stroked over her head, whilst Kat cried her eyes out.

"I just left her...God she died because of me! I...you have to find her parents their names are Lucas and Molly Quin I- they have to know I...I need to tell them...Maggie saved me I have to-"

"Kat sweetie calm down, it's okay we'll tell Garcia she'll find them." Alex said, Reid nodded and for sometime they only enjoyed the Moment as a Family again.

"How...how's Ethan? Is he okay? Was he hurt?" Kat asked.

"No he his fine, you saved him Kat...but he was really scared and felt guilty he thought he should have helped you and he missed you like hell." Reid said and Kat squeezed his hand.

"Where is he?"

"As we tried to help find you, Hotch asked his sister n law to watch him and Jack..." her Mom answered, Kat nodded and closed her eyes for a moment, before she looked up to her mother.

"Mama...who's Danny?" Kat asked after a while.

"What Danny?" Alex asked back, surely she couldn't mean her older brother Danny, she had never told Kat or Ethan about him. It was still a raw point much like her mothers death but Kat remembered her grandmother, Danny on the other hand, died years before they were even born.

"I think I was dead...because I- I- was with Grandma. She talked to me, told me how proud she was of me and you, that she wishes she could be here and see us finally happy with you Dad and we talked and then there was a man. I asked him who he was, and he said his name was Danny...and that he was protecting you, me and Ethan, he said that I needed to go back, because I wasn't ready and you needed me" Kat explained.

Alex swallowed realizing that her daughter really had been dead."Danny was your uncle...he was my big brother. He was a police officer and died in the line of duty when I was eighteen."

"So I really died?"

"Yes, but you are here now Kat, you're alive" Alex said and kissed her daughters forehead.

"Is Morgan here?" she asked and intertwined her fingers with her mothers.

"Yeah, you want me to get him?" Spencer asked. Kat nodded, Spencer leaned forward, as if to give her a kiss on the forehead too but stopped himself, he didn't want to scare her or remind Kat of what happened.

"Dad?" her quiet voice said when he was halfway through the room and Reid stopped, Kat had called him Dad. She had chosen this moment, when she had every reason to hate man, after what that bastard had done to her, to call him her father and it could never mean more to him.

"Yes?"

"I-...don't you want to touch me because he...he" she couldn't say it out loud, but of course he understood. Spencer walked back, carefully took her free hand in his and Kat held it tight.

"No Kat, I just didn't want to scare you I...what he did...I love you Kat you're my daughter and I'm proud to say that I'm the father of the bravest girl in the world and nothing will ever change that. I'm supposed to be one of the guys who keeps a clear head in situations like that, but when I realized that he had you, I wanted to throw all my principles away and hunt him down and kill him. Not one second did I thought about my job, I would have given them my badge with pleasure, I would have went to jail without protest if that meant I could get you out of his hands and hurt him for what he did to you!" Spencer said and did not wipe away the tears that escaped his eyes.

"I love you too Dad...and I could never be scared of you...I know you'll protect me." Kat said and Spencer kissed her forehead and Alex quickly kissed his cheek.

Reid then went out and the others quickly turned towards him, he was glad that James was nowhere to be seen, he didn't know if he had enough control over himself to face that man again. If it hadn't been for Alex, Kat wouldn't be the only one in hospital bed.

"How is she?" JJ asked immediately.

"Under the circumstances okay...what?" Reid asked when he realized that JJ was somehow nervous. He looked at the others and noticed similar expressions on their faces.

"Spence...somebody told the media about Kat...it's national wide one TV that the daughter of an FBI Agent had been abducted and held in a polygamist compound. Local reporters are in front of the hospital." JJ said watched as he got angry again.

"Who the hell told them? I thought-...if I get my hands on them-…please JJ make sure no one of he staff here lets something slip, please I- I don't think Kat could handle this!" he said angrily. He wanted to storm out there and send them all to hell himself, but then he thought about Kat, they could deal with the media later, she needed him know.

"...Morgan? She want's to talk to you" Reid just said and his best friend followed him back inside Kat's room.

"Hey...good to see that you're awake again" Morgan said and stood next to her bed, like Reid, he didn't want her to get scared or remind of her tormentor, after all he knew what she was feeling, in regard to the rape, all too well.

"You saved me...you sacrificed your life for me...thank you Morgan. You got me out of there and I will never forget what you have done for me."

"I would do it again, you don't have to thank me Kat. I was glad that I could save you, like the rest of the team, you're one hell of a fighter. I just wish we had been there earlier." Kat swallowed the lump in he throat.

"Do all of you know...that he r-raped me?"

"Only the team knows. But Kat I want to tell you something, when I was a kid...my Dad died. My Mom gave her best, she had three jobs to give me and my sisters a good life, but still she couldn't work to get the food on the table and be there for us twenty-four-seven. So I was on the best way to become just another little Chicago gangster, then a man from my neighborhood showed me that there was another way. He taught me football and became a father figure for me, he made me trust him with my life." Derek said and looked at the broken girl in her mothers arms, seeing the same broken look in her eyes, he had seen in his, every time when he had looked in a mirror when he was younger.

"But then he raped me...many times. I went through the very same Kat, I know what it feels like, I know how ashamed you are, what he took from you. I blamed myself and I nearly destroyed myself in letting it destroy me. Look at me Kat, it is not your fault. None of it okay? It's his fault, his alone. But it's not the end Kat, don't let him win in giving up! You can get over this I know it, because you are here, you're alive, you're strong Kat. And you won't be alone, you have your Mom and Dad, your friends and us. We're all going to be there for you, I can't tell you it'll be easy Kat, I wish I could, but there will be times, were you are angry, sad and hurt and there will be a time were you want to give up.

And if that time has come and it can be in a week, a month or a year, it can be when you think you're long over it, don't let this feeling over take you. Talk to anyone, just talk, you're not alone and you never will be Kat. I promise you someday it won't hurt anymore, you won't forget it, it will always be a part of you, but don't let it destroy your life or future. If that man hadn't done this to me, then I sure as hell wouldn't be here, I don't want to know were I would be today if he hadn't. I'm happy with my life, because I know all of you and maybe I wouldn't sit here next to one of the bravest girls I know. I defeated him Kat and you will too!" finished Morgan.

"You...really believe I could-"

"No Kat, I know this for sure. You won't let him win, you will defeat him!" he said and Kat nodded.

"Thank you that you told me this." she said and Morgan only nodded while he watched, how Alex kissed Kat's forehead again and stroked over her daughters hand with her thump. She couldn't even put into words how thankful she was, that Morgan had encouraged her daughter and had so much faith in her.

"I'm tired..." mumbled Kat laid her head back on her mothers chest. "Will you stay?" she asked and Alex pulled her as close as she could without hurting Kat.

"Of course I will and Dad too honey." Morgan turned to walked back out, but when he was about to open the door, Kat spoke again.

"Hey Morgan?"

"What?"

"When I get out of here, I will have my revenge because of that Nas thing" she said and he looked back at her, when he saw the small smile she had on her lips, he smiled too.

"I wouldn't expect anything different from you."

* * *

**Hello and sorry for the long wait! If you read Waking Up Beside You, then you already know what going on, for the rest, I had some personal problems and couldn't write much lately. Hopefully this is over now.**

**I know this chapter is a little short (at least compared to the rest) but I hope you liked it nevertheless!**


	16. We're Family

A few hours later Alex and Spencer were fast asleep on the bed next to Kat, but suddenly they were woken by a loud scream. Alex jumped up and looked over to Kat who sat on her bed crying, immediately she went over to calm her daughter down.

"Shh...you're save Kat, it was just a bad dream." Kat clung tightly to her mother and buried her face in her mother's neck.

"I-I thought I was back with him..." she said and Alex stroked over her daughters cheek while Spencer sat beside her and laid his hand on her shoulder.

"He is gone, he is dead sweetie. He will never, ever hurt you again." Alex whispered and kissed her forehead. After a while Kat calmed down, just then there was a knock on the door, they all looked up and saw JJ standing in the door.

"I saw that you were awake and someone desperately wanted to see you." she said and Ethan ran up to his sister who wrapped her arms around him, not caring about the pain in her body, she was just glad to hold her little brother in her arms and that he hadn't been hurt by the men who had kidnapped her.

"I'm happy you're back Kat, I was so scared!" Ethan said and Kat smiled a little at him.

"Me too buddy..."

"I know we argue a lot but I love you Kat, you're the best big sister in the world."

"I love you too shorty and I'm really glad that you are okay." she said and wiped the tears away and kissed his cheek. Then Kat looked up and saw that JJ still stood in the doorway.

"Where are the others? I...would like to say thank you to all of you guys." Kat said and JJ smiled and turned around to tell the others to come inside.

"Hey Gumdrop!" Garcia said and went over to gently hug her, and Kat returned the hug, not able to resist the always cheerful person of the BAU and then she looked at them all.

"I just...wanted to say thank you, to all of you. You saved my life, I-I don't know what to say beside thank you." Kat said and they all smiled at her, they all knew that they saved her, that they had won, but it was a bitter sweet victory. They all wished that they had been there faster, that they could have saved her earlier, before he would rape her and ruin a part of her life.

"That is what family is there for." Hotch said and Kat nodded, she then looked at Emily a little confused.

"You are Emily Prentiss aren't you? Dad said you work at Interpol in London." Emily nodded and smiled a little at the pride that flashed across Spencer's face as Kat referred to him as her father.

"Yes I do, I had a few days off and decided to visit, but then I heard that you were abducted so I did my best to help find you, after all you are the daughter of my friends." Emily explained and Kat looked at her mother.

"Do you remember when I told you that our family was small and broken, but still family?" she asked and Alex nodded.

"Yeah I do."

"I was wrong. Our family is not small...or broken." Kat said and took Spencer's hand to lay it around herself and Ethan and on her mother's hand, who first looked at her children, then at Spencer.

"You're right."

Spencer squeezed her hand and then leaned in to press his lips on Alex's for a small kiss.

* * *

"Ready to go home honey?" Alex asked Kat who sat in the wheelchair in which her mother wheeled her out of the hospital two and a half weeks later. Kat had been transferred to a Hospital in Alexandria as soon as she had recovered enough to do so and was now finally allowed to leave the hospital. Kat had also found a psychotherapist Dr. Christine Wolf, to talk about and get over everything that had happened to her.

"I can't wait to get out of here!"

"Another thing she has from you, she hates hospitals." Spencer said when he approached them.

"I wouldn't call it hate, I mean they save lives in here, but still, I don't need to stay any longer than needed." Kat answered and then looked up at her mother.

"Can I finally get up, or do you plan to wheel me to the car?"

"What do you think?"

"Oh please! Dad could you tell her that the doctor actually allowed me to walk?" Kat asked and held the crutches up, which had laid on her lap.

"You know how your mom is, I can't change her mind." Alex glared at him while Kat rolled her eyes.

"Coward." she mumbled and Alex shook her head while Spencer laid his arm around her and kissed her cheek.

"I love you."

"I love you too and that's also a thing I won't change my mind about." Spencer smiled at her a little sheepishly.

"And I'm really glad about that!" he answered. After a short drive home, they all got out of the car and Kat was glad that her mother hadn't stolen the wheelchair so she couldn't also wheel her inside the house. But when Spencer unlocked the door everything came rushing back, she saw the face of the man who tried to kidnap her as they fell down the stairs, how she reached for the gun that had fallen out of his hands and pointed it at his face. She saw his shocked expression, right before she pulled the trigger.

"Kat honey are you okay?" Alex asked her daughter, as she stood beside her and watched her daughter, as she probably remembered the evening when she had been abducted.

"I...I killed him..." Kat whispered.

"Kathrin look at me, he was an evil man. He killed many woman and men and children, you did what you had to do to survive. He would have vanished and continued to abduct and kill people, it probably would have taken many years to find them if ever. You had no choice sweet heart and we love you no matter what." Alex said and kissed her daughters cheek, she nodded and took a deep breath before walking inside.

"Do you wanna go up to your room or- well you should better stay downstairs or maybe-" Kat ignored what her mother said until she sat on the sofa and held out her hand.

"Mom?" Alex walked over and sat down next to her daughter, who took her hand in her own.

"Yeah?"

"I'm okay. I know that it won't stay like this and that I'll probably need help for quite some time but...please don't handle me with kid gloves okay? It'll just make me feel like he...like he won." Kat said and Alex sighed and placed a gentle kiss on her daughters forehead.

"Oh how much I would give to change the past and be able to protect you...and I hope one day you can forgive me."

"There never was something to forgive, but I hope that one day you can forgive yourself Mama." Kat said and Alex had to blink back some tears, she wrapped her arms around Kat whom snuggled close to her.

Just then Spencer would walk over and small smile washed over his face when he saw them, but his expression changed quickly which Alex noticed immediately.

"What?" he walked over and held up an envelope before he sat down on the footstool of the armchair beside the sofa.

"The FBI, officially they will question us because of the case...but we both know that unofficially it will be about our relationship." he said and handed the envelope over, while Kat looked up at them both quite confused.

"And...what does that mean for you?" she asked and her parents looked at each other.

"Well there are three scenarios. First: They question us, believe us that our relationship won't cause any trouble and we both are able to keep our job. Second: They question us, but think that we won't be able to do our job, at least when we work together so only one will have to go. Third...well they question us, don't believe us and...fire us both." Spencer said and Kat looked at them unbelieving.

"What? B-but they can't do that, can they?" Alex sighed.

"Sadly they can honey. But if they only wanted one of us gone, then I'll go back to teaching full time." Alex said and Reid opened his mouth to say something, but Alex continued to talk without giving him the chance to speak.

"I could never be the reason you had to leave them, let alone they would never let you leave, I can't do that to you Spencer. You also love that job too much and you can do so much good, save so many people."

"And I could save many more when we work together, so why don't we just make them realize that we both are valuable to them and the BAU?" Spencer said smiling.

"I like that idea the most" Kat said and Alex grinned before she kissed Spencer.

"So do I. When will the hearing be?"

"Tomorrow. They probably want to prevent us from planning a properly defense." he said and sat down next to Alex and Kat and first leaned into him. Kat kissed her parents cheeks before she stood up and walked over to the stairs with her crutches.

"Well while you two cuddle on the couch I'll try to get up the stairs," she said and continued before her mother could stand up "And no I don't need your help Ma, so stay right where you are." she said and Alex sunk back on the sofa next to Spencer who couldn't help but grin as he laid his arm back around her.

Just then both their phones rang, for a second they looked at each other confused, they both still had the weekend off, as they had used some of their vacation until Kat was able to come home again. So this couldn't be a Case. On Spencer's Display stood JJ's name and Hotch was the one phoning Alex.

"Hello?" they both said at the same time.

"Hello Alex, sorry to call you, I just wanted to ask if you got the letter of the FBI Commission?"

"Yes we did, we were about to discuss what we want to do." Alex answered.

"Good, the whole team got a letter they want us to and I will be honest, testify against you." he said and Alex swallowed.

"What are our chances Hotch?"

"Well as I already talked to a few others outside our team members, including Cruz, who are willing to testify for you in front of the Commission, I'd say pretty good." For a second Alex was speechless.

"What? You mean you guys will testify for us?"

"Of Course we will, the whole team, Cruz, Anderson and Lynch." he answered and Alex smiled.

"Thank you, that means a lot. "

"No problem, and just a few tips from a former lawyer. Don't try to say you never were in a relationship, they know. Go for the pros of your relationship, you can be more effective, you are both valuable for you team with your reputations. And nobody noticed for four months that you two were together so you are perfectly able to separate private life from your work life. And about the Case, well you did nothing wrong and as soon as Kat was involved you helped finding her without actually working on the case and we can all vouch for that."

"Okay thanks Hotch, I don't know what to say."

"You don't need to thank me, nobody cares if you two have a relationship, we're happy for you and we need you both on the team. And to question you because of that is just ridiculous, everyone knows that. So don't worry. "

"Thanks, well until tomorrow!"

"Yes, bye." Alex hung up and looked at Spencer who said goodbye to JJ. "And?"

"Well it was JJ she told me that the others also got a letter and they all will testify for us, who was on your phone?" Spencer asked back.

"It was Hotch he told me the same, but he also said that he got Cruz, Anderson and Lynch to testify for us and he gave us a few tips for tomorrow." Alex answered.

"We will win this, I know it." Reid said and kissed her.

"We will." Alex answered.

"Dad? Could you help me for a second?" called Kat from upstairs and Reid smiled automatically like he did every time Kat called him Dad, of course he was also happy when Ethan called him Dad, but he already felt like Ethans father for a much longer time than with Kat.

"You enjoy it when she calls you Dad don't you?" Alex asked a bit amused and his smile only widened.

"A bit more every single time." Spencer leaned in for another small kiss before he hurried up to Kat's bedroom.

"What's wrong Kat?" he asked once he was in her room.

"Can you close the door please?" she asked from her bed and he did as he was asked before he sat down on her chair facing her.

"Kat?" she took a deep breath before she spoke.

"My…my biological father is alive isn't he?" Spencer froze and stared at her, how could she know? He and Alex had never talked about James in front of Kat or Ethan. He looked her in the eyes, was she just bluffing? No, she knew, Spencer saw it in her eyes.

"Yes." Kat swallowed and bit her lip. For a second he saw how her eyes filled with tears before she looked out of her bedroom window and blinked them away. "How do you know?" Reid asked softly.

"I overhead you talking about him at the hospital a few days back when you thought I was asleep. I need to talk to him, do you know where he is? Or do you have a phone number? I need to see him now." Kat said and Spencer nodded.

"I can ask Garcia to give me his number, or address."

"Okay…could you do that Dad? And don't tell mom, I don't want her to know." Kat said and Spencer nodded before he took his phone out to call Garcia.

"Hey Daddy G-Man what can I do for you?"

"Can you give me the address or a number of James?" he asked and it was one of the rare moments when Penelope Garcia didn't say anything.

"You mean _the_ James? Alex's ex-husband? Spencer I know he is an asshole but don't do something stupid not with the hearing tomorrow-"

"Garcia stop, it's not because I want to see him. I need it for Kat, she wants to meet him." He quickly explained, he would never go to see that son of a bitch on his own. He could live happily for the rest of his live without seeing his face ever again.

"Oh. Sure, he has a room in a Hotel…it's not far from you. What a creep. I sent it to your phone."

"Thanks Garcia- oh and…don't tell Alex yeah?" Garcia let out a frustrated groan.

"You know how much I hate keeping secrets!"

"Garcia please, do it for Kat." Spencer said and his friend sighed.

"Okay give her a hug from me."

"Will do, bye." with that he hung up and looked at Kat who, on the other hand, had watched him.

"I have his address, you want to go now?" Spence asked and Kat nodded.

"Yeah, I can't go on my own…would you-would you come with me? Please?" she asked nervous.

"Of course." He answered and sent her a small smile, Kat got up from her bed and reached for her crutches before they went downstairs.

"Hey where are you going?" was Alex's question when they went to the door.

"Dad told me he had a few books on PTSD and such stuff and I asked if I could read some of them but they are in his apartment so we'll get them." Kat answered immediately.

"Do you think this is a good Idea? I-" started Alex but was interrupted by her daughter.

"Yeah, Dr. Wolf even said it could help." Alex sent Reid a glance but he nodded so she gave in.

"Okay then, see you later."

"Bye Mom." Kat said and kissed her mother's cheek before she went outside to wait by the car.

"Maybe they can help her, it's worth a try." Spencer said and Alex nodded.

"You're right. Take care okay?"

"I will, see you later. I love you." They kissed goodbye and then Spencer followed Kat outside and got in the car.

"You are lucky I really have books on PTSD" he said when he started to drive.

"Come on is there a book that you don't have?"

"Good point."

"I have my moments" was all Kat answered and for the rest of the fifteen minutes' drive she was quiet. When they arrived by the address Garcia had sent him he parked and looked at the number of the room.

"He is in room 351." he said and looked at Kat who just stared at the Hotel in which her father was who she thought had died four years ago. They got out of the car, walked past the disinterested door man and to the elevators. When they arrived at his room Kat stopped and Spencer laid his hand on her shoulder.

"Are you sure Kat? You don't have to do this you know." Spencer said, Kat just stared at the door before she took a deep breath.

"Yeah, let's do this." she said and knocked, only moments later the door was opened by James Blake. Both he and Kat stared at each other for a few moments, then James smiled and reached out to touch her but Kat flinched away from his touch and he let his hand sink.

"I can't believe how grown up you are, you look just like your mom." He said then he looked at Spencer and his face fell, before either one of them could say something though, Kat spoke.

"Can we come inside?" Kat asked and James nodded and let them come inside, James sat down and offered her a seat but Kat didn't move. After Spencer had closed the door he stood next to Kat.

"How are-"

"Stop. I'm not here to chat. You are going to listen to what I say, because I had to keep quiet for six years and I don't want to hear your sorry excuses, nothing you say can make up for what you did. You left us long before you faked your death you coward, can you even imaging how much it hurt? How many nights I asked myself what was wrong with me, what I did wrong that my Daddy stopped loving me? Worse of it all do you know what you did to Mom?" and the first tears ran down her cheeks.

"You cheated on her, you treated her like she was your maid! And when Ethan was on the way it was like you stopped coming around all together, you even wanted her to have an abortion, you wanted to kill your child! How could you? And don't you dare to say you did it to save us, keep telling yourself that, but this is nobody's fault but yours! Yours alone."

Kat was yelling by now and more tears streamed down her face. Spencer laid his arm around her while staring at the man in front of him with hate. Alex never told him that James wanted her to have an abortion with Ethan, the only thought that his son wouldn't exist made him furious.

"I want you to leave, leave us alone we don't need you and we are happy without you-"

"Kat I'm your father! I'm Ethan's father-"

"No you aren't! Stay away from my little brother! Ethan doesn't need to know that this pathetic man is his father, he finally has a father, a real father! I finally have a father again and Spencer is ten times the father you were! You made your decision know live with it. Stay away from my family." Kat said and wiped the tears away, James opened his mouth to say something but Kat interrupted him.

"You owe this to Mom, Ethan and me. We finally are family again, that much you owe us for everything we went through because of you." Kat said and turned around to leave and Spencer followed her but suddenly a hand laid on his arm and held him back.

Spencer turned around and it took him a lot not to beat the crap out of him.

"Don't make the same mistakes I did. Take care of them." Spencer nodded and wanted to leave just when he was about to close the door James spoke again.

"I'll be there if you fuck up."

"Don't get your hopes up." Spencer answered and closed the door. He hurried to catch up with Kat and caught up with her by the elevator, where he hugged her and Kat cried on his shoulder. She cried so much that he nearly had to carry her back to the car and he started to doubt that this had been a good idea.

"I'm proud of you Kat and I love you." He whispered in her ear while he stroked over her back and Kat clung to him.

"I wish you were my real Dad…it hurts so much…" Kat sobbed and Spencer kissed her forehead.

"I know sweetheart, I know. Come on let's go home." He said and Kat nodded.

When they arrived home Alex immediately knew that something was off. Kat went past her mother and straight up the stairs, so she wouldn't see that she had been crying, but Alex noticed it anyway.

"What happened?" she asked when they stood in the kitchen. But Spencer gulped down a glass of water before he said something. "Spencer?"

"You never told me that he wanted you to have an abortion." He said and stared at her, for a second she was confused.

"How do you-" then she seemed to realize, "you took her to James?" she asked loud. "How could you? You knew she wasn't ready for that and I didn't want her to-" but Spencer interrupted her.

"Of course I didn't take her to this bastard! She overhead us talking about him and she asked me to take her to him. What was I supposed to do? At least he will leave us alone now. But why did you never tell me that he wanted an abortion?"

"What? Do you think this is something I like to talk about? Do you also want the names of all the women he slept with, how many times Kat asked me why her Daddy stopped loving her? How stupid I was to get pregnant again? Do you want a list of all the times he asked me to have an abortion. Do you think I like talking about the biggest mistake in my life? What else do you want to know? How overchallenged I was? How much I hated myself back then? How many nights I spent crying myself to sleep?" Spencer only realized now how much her past hurt her and that he shouldn't have asked her about this sore point.

"Alex-"

"I only want to forget this Spencer, I want to forget him. I wish I could erase this time out of my life. I'm ashamed Spencer, I was so stupid." He stepped forward and laid his hand under her chin and made her look at him.

"There is no need to be ashamed of anything Love. Everyone makes mistakes and you are not stupid for trying to keep your family together. He will always be a part of you but in your past, I won't let him hurt you, Kat or Ethan. I love you Alex and I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked you like this." Spencer said and Alex kissed him softly.

"I love you too and you don't need to be sorry I…I just didn't know how to tell you this, I wanted to-" Spencer interrupted her with another kiss, telling her that she didn't have to explain.

"How is Kat?" Alex then asked but it wasn't Spencer who answered.

"I'm fine," Kat said from the doorway. "I heard you argument and wanted to tell you that it wasn't Dad's fault, I insisted on going. I just…I finally had the chance to tell him what I wanted to say to him since six years. I feared that if I wouldn't have went now, that I would forgive him…and I can't do that, not for quite some time." Kat said and Alex went over to hug her.

"I understand…I just, suddenly he was there and you- I didn't know how to tell you."

"I know...but that doesn't matter anymore, he doesn't matter. He is not my father, Spencer is and he always will be." Kat said and Spencer leaned down to kiss her forehead again. Then the front door opened and closed and Ethan came running into the kitchen.

"Kat your home!" Kat hugged her brother close and pressed a kiss on his head.

"Hey Shorty, I'm also happy to be home again!" she said and then he pulled out a piece of paper from his school bag.

"Look I drew this today!" he said and held up a picture of the four of them. They stood in front of their house, Alex and Spencer were holding hands and between their heads was a big heart, Kat was smiling brightly and had her arm wrapped around Ethan. There was a bright sun in the left and above all their heads stood: "My Family."

"That's really wonderful Ethan." Alex said.

"Yeah, but why does my hair look like a porcupine?" asked Kat.

"Well I had to hurry a bit." Ethan admitted and grinned sheepishly.

"And why do I look like Jack from Nightmare before Christmas? I'm not that skinny." Spencer said when he took a closer look, but nobody answered and then Kat started laughing and soon Ethan and Alex joined in.

"Hey!" Spencer said and Alex kissed him.

"You are perfect." she said and Spencer couldn't help but grin while Kat was finally starting to recover from her laughing fit.

"What is the porcupine even laughing at? " he asked and Kat stuck out her tongue.

"Don't worry! Brains is more important than muscle Dad!" Ethan said and Alex had a hard time to keep herself from laughing, while Kat nearly broke down with laugher again. Spencer couldn't help but smile while he ruffled Ethan's hair and stole another kiss from a grinning Alex.

* * *

**Yeah I didn't forgot about this one, but I have a life so I won't lie to you that it will never happen again because it sure will.**

**So Kat is back home, told James to go to hell and hopefully will be able to recover from what happened.**

**Alex and Spencer are happy but what about the hearing? Will the FBI allow them to work together or will they split the Team up?**

**You will find out in the next chapter**

**I hope you like this chapter and if you want you can leave a review!**


	17. The Questioning

The Questioning

When Alex woke up the next morning she felt a little queasy, which was not surprising regarding the fact, that they were going to face a committee of the bosses of the FBI. After a moment of waking up she also noticed a hand gently stroking the small of her back. Her head was pillowed on an all to familiar chest and one arm wrapped around her protectively, enjoying the peaceful moment she did not move and didn't even open her eyes. Because if she did than she had to wake up and face reality, one which wasn't perfect like this and Alex didn't want this moment to be over just now.

Spencer's hand slid further up and now rested against her upper arm where he stroked her hair aside.

"I know that you are awake," he murmured and leaned down to press his lips against her forehead, "Good Morning Love." Alex sighed and turned her head so her face was buried in his chest, inhaling his scent.

"How could this possibly be a good morning?" she answered when she had turned her face again and Spencer chuckled lightly.

"I'm waking up next to you, that's all what matters to me for a good morning." Alex opened her eyes for the first time and looked up at the face of her beloved. She saw the dark circles under his eyes and knew that this all was way more difficult for him than he showed. Alex propped herself up and reached up to lay a hand on his cheek.

"Did you sleep at all?" she asked and Spencer knew that she wanted an honest answer.

"An hour or two I think?" he really couldn't say how many hours he had slept as he hadn't checked the time when he had woken up. Spencer had spent the rest of the time thinking and watching Alex in her sleep, it helped him, knowing she was by his side was all that he needed. The BAU wasn't the most important thing in his life anymore, Alex, Ethan and Kat were his life now.

"I hope you didn't force yourself to stay awake." Alex said but Reid shook his head no.

"I just couldn't sleep, there was too much on my mind, but having you beside me helps a lot, it's been a while since I didn't sleep through the night."

"Good to hear, how much time do we have?" the brunette asked and Spencer turned his head to look at the clock on his nightstand.

"We still have nearly half an hour left to simply lay here." he murmured and brushed his lips against hers in a loving kiss.

"Good, I love you." Alex said against his lips and Spencer smiled before he kissed her again, when they parted Alex pillowed her head on his chest again, "It's not going to change everything right?" she stated quietly.

"No, even if it does, it won't matter." Spencer answered just when the door to their bedroom opened and Ethan came in and crawled onto their bed.

"Good morning Mommy and Daddy!"

"Good morning kiddo, why are you already up?" Spencer asked and Ethan slipped under the blankets and snuggled up against his parents.

"I couldn't sleep anymore."

"Yeah and his first idea was to play and so he woke me up too." said Kat from the door and limped over and Alex lifted the blanket so she could also crawl under the covers.

"When do you have to go?" the teenager then asked.

"We still have around half an hour, then we have to get up." Spencer answered and ruffled Ethan's hair.

"Cool, just wanted to tell you that I have no doubt that they'll acquit you." Alex raised an eyebrow at her daughter.

"Why would they acquit us? We're not on trial sweetie, that's only a hearing in front of the commission. But thanks for your positive thinking." was her answer and Kat grinned.

"Oh I'm sorry next time they want to kick you out of the job I'll bear that in mind Mom." Alex rolled her eyes and tickled Kat's side who squeaked and flinched away from her mother.

"Mom!"

"What?" Alex asked innocently and grinned at her daughter who glared at her.

"And they say we are silly." Ethan said to his father who laughed.

"Yeah I now, they are worse than we are!"

"You wish!" both mother and daughter said at the same time and they all laughed, suddenly Spencer remembered that he wanted to ask Kat and Ethan something he and Alex had been talking about since some days.

"You know...I wanted to ask you something for quite some time now..." Spencer began and the other three looked at him. Alex had a faint idea what he meant but decided to let him do this alone.

"Your mom an I have been talking and...I wanted to ask you if you would be alright with me moving in?"

"Aren't you living with us?" Ethan asked quite confused, as he had been sure his Dad was living with them, and Alex had to bite down a laugh.

"Well I do, but officially I do not, the people at work for example still think I live at my apartment, and I still have to go there to get my mail." said Spencer and Ethan nodded.

"Dad...you already live with us, really what is there left? Some books and a few cloths, though I am sure that I'll find most of your things in this room." Kat said smiling and now Alex couldn't hold back a laugh and Spencer couldn't help but chuckle.

"When we are already talking about it, the books from both of us are not going to fit into this house, so we have to see which books we both have and then choose."

"You know this is going to take you days?" Kat asked.

"It'll take days if we do it, but when your father is going to read through my books we know which one we have twice in one afternoon." her mother answered and then responded to Spencer's kiss who just had to do it, because he loved it when even she referred to him as their father.

"No that's not what I meant, it's going to take you days to decided which one of you has to give up part of your books."

"Don't be silly we'll see whats better to keep, like when we both have a book then we are going to keep the one that's a first edition. Won't we?" Spencer grinned.

"I don't have a problem with that, I own way more first editions than you." Spencer realized that he had said something wrong and the challenging look in Alex's eyes confirmed his thoughts.

"We'll see about that Honey." Alex answered and Reid only grinned and ignored the giggling Kat. Alex stroked over Ethan's hair and kissed his cheek.

"What are you going to do today?" Ethan smiled at his mom.

"Aunt Christina tried to keep it a secret, but uncle Andy told me we were going to the climbing park!" he answered excited and his mother smiled.

"Really? Wow that sounds so cool!"

"Yeah I wish we could go together, buddy, but when we have some days off again we can go to the theme park like we planned to okay?" Spencer asked and Ethan beamed up at him.

"Oh yeah!" he cheered and hugged his father. There while Alex looked at the clock and sadly noticed that they had to get up, turning to her lover she took his hand and Spencer turned to look at the clock himself. Kat noticed the look on her parents face and got up.

"Come on Shorty let's make some breakfast so Mom and Dad can get ready." she said and her little brother crawled out of the bed and followed her and soon they were halfheartedly arguing about his nickname on their way down stairs.

"Let's have a quick shower and then face those stupid FBI bosses love." Spencer said as they got up but Alex didn't answer immediately, the unwell feeling had increased the moment she got up and so she had to pause a moment, but then it was already gone and she hoped Spencer hadn't noticed anything, but she was, of course, wrong.

"Are you alright?" he asked a little worried and Alex smiled at him.

"Yeah, I'm just worried about today." was her truthful answer and Spencer leaned down to kiss her gently.

"Don't worry, everything is going to be alright honey." she nodded at his words and then pulled him off towards the bathroom."

"You know what I wanna do if we both can continue to work in the BAU?" Alex asked.

"No, what?"

"First I want you to pay a visit to Marge in the personnel and change your address, just to rub it into their faces and then we'll have a great evening with the four of us and then after that," now Alex pulled her shirt over her head and then wrapped her arms around his waist to pull him close, "just the two of us." Spencer also laid his arms around her and first kissed her lips and then let his lips wander to her neck.

"Why don't we bring forward your last point to now?" he asked against her neck.

"Because...we sadly don't have time for sex." sighing Spencer let go of her neck and looked Alex in the eyes.

"No chance?"

"Nope, not until tonight." she said with a wink and wiggled out of her pants before stepping under the shower, shortly followed by Spencer.

* * *

When Spencer and Alex arrived at the BAU today, they went inside with rather mixed feelings, for one they were hoping to be able to convince the committee that they were both needed on the team, and that they would be left alone after that. There wasn't a big deal with them being together, nobody, not even their friends and colleagues, noticed that they were a couple and they wouldn't have found out like that if not for the abduction of Kat.

As the elevator doors of their level opened, the two of them were greeted by the usual hectic of the Bureau, and when the stepped into the bullpen their saw all their friends standing there, minus Hotch.

"Hey there they are!" Rossi greeted them.

"How are we today? Do you have a good defence?" Morgan asked and Garcia glared at him.

"You could actually be a little bit more sensitive." was her grumbled response before she walked over to them and hugged both Alex and Spence until they were sure they had some rib fractures.

"Thanks Penelope, but we're alright, it's not a big deal." answered Alex and smiled at their friends.

"What do you mean it's no big deal? Of course it is!" Garcia seemed to be quite shocked by her comment. "They just can't...rip you out of our team! They can't, I won't allow it, you did nothing wrong!" their bubbly friend said and both Alex and Spencer were touched by her words.

"We'll just make sure they have no reason to kick us out." Spencer said and leaned down to kiss Alex under the eyes of their colleagues and in JJ's and Garcia's case some aww's. They parted and smiled at each other, but then they were interrupted by Hotch's voice.

"You two could be a little less obvious, I have news they delayed the questioning to this afternoon, we'll meet at five." Hotch said and looked at their surprised faces.

"Great, we were supposed to go home by then," grumbled Spencer and turned to Alex, "I'll call Andy and Christina to tell them that we'll need longer."

"Okay." she kissed him shortly before he went to call their friends at some quieter place and only shrugged her shoulders at Hotch, when he gave her the 'What did I just tell you' look.

"How is Kat by the way? She was released form hospital yesterday wasn't she?" JJ asked to change the subject and Alex nodded.

"Yes, she is alright, it was a little difficult when she saw the staircase and thought about the man who died, but she handled it really good, I think we're on a good way." Alex answered and then looked at Garcia. "I know you gave Spence and Kat the address of James-" Garcia opened her mouth to say something but Alex continued, "It's alright, they went to see him yesterday and Kat told him everything she kept locked away for the past six years."

"Oh my, can't say I feel sorry for him." JJ said and the others gave their approval.

"Yeah me too, the only positive thing about it was, that thanks to Kat he is going to leave us alone, she was pretty clear that we don't want him in our life anymore." said Alex as she walked over to her desk.

"Well at least one positive thing for the future Mr. and Mrs. Reid." Alex couldn't help but tense up when Morgan said this and she knew the others saw it too, she heard how Garcia bawled Morgan out thoroughly as she shoved him out of the bullpen and also Hotch and Rossi retired to their offices, so only JJ and Alex were left.

"Just ignore him, you know how Morgan is." the blonde said while she sat down on the corner of Alex's desk.

"No, it's not that...I love Spencer, more than I ever loved anybody beside my children, I would love to marry him sometime, but… I don't know I think I'm still giving him a chance to go..." Alex admitted and laid a hand on her stomach, their breakfast still caused her some queasy feeling, now that they had to wait for the questioning even longer she knew the feeling wasn't going to disappear any time soon.

"Alex you know this won't ever happen? Spencer...he loves you more than anything and he won't leave you for anything in this world. Since he knows you...he changed and he changed again when you got together, I haven't seen him that happy since years Alex." JJ told her and Alex couldn't help but smile at her words.

"You're right, it's just...what happened with James-"

"Is not going to happen again!" JJ interrupted her and then laid a hand on her shoulder. "Whatever happens, happens, and if not than that's not the end of the world either, okay?" with that JJ stood up and walked over to her own desk. Absently stroking over her stomach she turned her computer on and her hand paused on her belly, then her lovers arms wrapped around her and Spencer kissed her cheek.

"I think Ethan was quite happy to be able to spend more time with Christina and Andy." he said before he let go of her and Alex turned to grin at him.

"Welcome to my life, now you know what I feel like when he rather wants to do things with you than with me."

"Yeah but I'm his dad-" Alex raised her eyebrows at him and Spencer quickly continued, "B-but that doesn't mean he doesn't like spending time with you."

"That was a close call honey." Spencer only grinned and scratched the back of his head.

"I know." he then leaned down to her and kissed her, "I love you." Alex smiled into the kiss.

"I love you too." she mumbled against his lips, then someone cleared their throat loudly and the two broke apart.

"Sorry Hotch!" they said at the same time and quickly started to do their work.

* * *

They watched how one after one was asked into Hotch's Office to answer the questions of Cruz and the others, under them the Assistant Director and the Chief of Staff.

"Don't you think they're exaggerating just a little bit?" mumbled Alex as she watched how Rossi walked out of Hotch's office and gave them thumps up, before he went back inside his office, Anderson and Lynch who had been inside before him had left. Now it was JJ's turn, she smiled at them and then walked up to Hotch's office and closed the door.

"Not only a little bit, I wonder if they are going to do this again when they find out I changed my address and moved in with you." Spencer responded and Garcia who sat on Agent Fulmer's desk, while Morgan sat in front of it, giggled before sipping her tea.

"That's just fucking ridiculous," Alex cursed and the other three stared at her. "What?"

"Did you just use the bad f-word Agent Blake?" Morgan said teasingly and Alex glared at him, deciding if she schould flip him off or not.

"Yes I used the bad f-word, in fact I can use it in six languages. What about you?" she asked with a raised eyebrow and Reid chuckled when Morgan seemed to lack a clever answer.

"Do you want another coffee?" Spencer asked standing up, but Alex shook her head.

"No, if I have another cup I'll have to go to the restroom every two minutes, and I don't think this will increase our chances," Alex answered but leaned a bit closer to Garcia, who offered her colleague her tea.

"You want to try my tea?" Alex shrugged.

"Sure." she took the mug out of her friends hands and took a sip. "Mmm that's great, yeah I'll have a cup, what is this?" she asked the bubbly blonde.

"Ginger with a squeeze of lemon juice." Spencer nodded and was on his way to get himself another cup of coffee and his beloved one a ginger lemon tea as well. Unnoticed by anyone Alex had paled a little.

"So how about we go a little celebrating once we have been questioned? What do you say? Just a little get together, maybe at Rossi's?" Morgan suggested and Garcia was instantly hooked by the idea, already planning what to do that evening.

"What do you say Alex?" Garcia asked her friend.

"Huh? Oh, sure, we'll just have to get Kat and Ethan." she answered smiling.

"Great, I'll go tell Rossi and when Garcia and I are finished we can get the two so we can meet at Rossi's." Morgan said as he jumped up and quickly walked to the older Italian.

"Why's Morgan so excited?" Spencer asked as he placed the cup of tea next to Alex and sipped his own wonderful sugary coffee.

"Oh we are going to have a party at Rossi's after we have been questioned," she answered and also drank some of her tea.

"Really? Oh...but our _plans_?" he asked and Alex had to giggle at the obvious disappointment in his voice.

"Are still going to happen." Alex said and beside them Garcia raised her eyebrows.

"Do I even want to know?"

"No you don't." the couple answered at the same time.

* * *

After everyone beside them had been questioned and in Garcia's, Morgan's and Rossi's case had left, the first two to get Ethan and Kat and later one to prepare for their little 'get together', they were the last ones left.

"I can't wait for this to finally be over." Alex mumbled while she pinched the bridge of her nose, Reid stepped behind her and laid his hands on her shoulders.

"I know, I can't wait for this to be over either and to celebrate a little, but most important to get you home and into bed with me." he mumbled into her ear and Alex shook her head in amusement. Before she could answer though, Hotch stepped out of his office and nodded at the two, they got up and walked into his office where they greeted the people that were present and sat down in front of them.

"Well Agent Reid, Agent Blake, we were informed that thee weeks ago your daughter, Agent Blake, has been abducted right?" Cruz spoke and Alex nodded.

"Yes, she was abducted by our ex neighbors brother, who lead a polygamy compound in Tennessee."

"But before that, four other girls were abducted and murdered. You were both actively working the case?"

"Yes." both answered.

"Agent Hotchner has informed us that you came out as a couple during this case, is this true?"

"Yes, I told him about our relationship when he questioned me after my daughter was abducted, after that we both didn't actively work this case anymore." Alex said without hesitation.

"So neither of you was under the people storming the compound of the suspect three weeks ago?" Cruz asked and this time Spencer answered.

"No, we arrived together with the rest of the team but stayed behind and didn't help in any manner."

"How long were you in a sexual relationship?" the Chief of Staff asked while clearly staring at her cleavage. 'Here we go, that's what you really want to know' thought Alex and when she glanced at Spencer she knew he was thinking the same.

"We're officially together since five months and two weeks. And this is not just sex what we are talking about Gentlemen, it's a serious relationship." Alex said.

"What do you mean by officially?" Cruz asked and Alex saw in his eyes that he was sorry for asking, but had to do this.

"Well, before we got together there was a certain attraction on both sides and we spent a lot of time together, both in and outside of work." Reid said and shifted in his seat.

"You do know it's not allowed to form relationships?" this time it was the Assistant Director speaking.

"Pardon me, but officially there is no such rule, it is highly uncommon for people to form a relationship in this kind of work, based on the dangers of it, but we are still humans and therefor we cannot control who we love and who not. Also did none of the five best Profilers in this country and a whole office of qualified people notice that we were in a, as you put it, sexual relationship. We have and will be able to separate our work from our privet life." Reid said and the they both looked at some what dumbfounded faces, minus the one of Hotch and Cruz who seemed to have a hard time to keep themselves from smiling.

"Well I think I can speak for all of us when I say, that, as you both have excellent reputations and all your colleagues seem to confirm this, if you keep your relationship down especially when out in the field, then you can of course continue to work in this Team." Cruz said and looked at the men around him. "Does anybody have any objections?" when no one of them answered he nodded.

"Good, have a nice evening, Agent Reid, Agent Blake." he said and they both said their goodbyes and left the office.

"I was worried for like twenty four hours because of this?" Alex asked slightly angry to have wasted so much time.

"Yep, seems like it. But I don't think it would have ended up this well, if the others hadn't said so much for our advantage." Spencer answered as they packed their things and walked over to the elevatores.

"I know but still, that was just pointless."

"Can't argue with that and I too can't argue with the fact that I would really like to go back there and tell that old Chief of Staff to keep his eyes away from your breasts, seriously what the heck was wrong with him?" Alex giggled.

"I feel flattered, I really do, but I don't think that would do us any good, and you are still the only one touch them, is that helpful?"

"Yes it is." Reid answered with a grin while they stepped inside an elevator.

* * *

As the two of them were sitting on Rossi's sofa watching the others play 'Twister', with JJ always winning against the others, and Kat letting Henry and Jack write their names on the cast on her leg like the others had before them, they couldn't help but feel good. They both got to keep their job, James would leave them alone and Kat was doing better every day.

"I love this...and I love you." Spencer whispered in her ear as they watched the tangle of limps of Hotch, Beth, Morgan and JJ. Alex bit her lip and laid her head on his shoulder, he was right it was perfect, really perfect and so she decided to share her thoughts with him.

"Spence?"

"Hmm?" her heart started to beat faster in her chest, unfortunately Alex didn't notice Garcia walking by right behind them before she spoke again.

"I...I think I'm pregnant."

* * *

Boom Baby! I'm back and with a huuge cliffhanger :D I'm so sorry (no I'm not)

A big Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter and favored and followed the story. Well I hoped you liked the chapter so tell me what you think, everything is welcome!

And we'll see next chapter if Alex's hunch is right or not. Stay tuned until next time!


	18. 1814400 Seconds Of Happiness

1814400 Seconds Of Happiness

Alex had to wait a few seconds before there was any reaction from Spencer by what she had said, then he turned to face her and stared at her with an unreadable look on his face. As both were in their own world they did not take notice of a certain blonde quickly backing away with her mouth wide open.

"W-what did you say?" Reid asked stuttering and Alex squeezed his hand gently.

"I think I'm pregnant...I'm not one hundred percent sure, not until I made a test but-" Alex said and looked down at their hands but was interrupted by Spencer who laid his hand under her chin and made her look at him.

"Can you get one?" he asked and Alex blinked at him, a little surprised.

"Like now?" he nodded.

"Please if this is true-" he seemed to be at a loss of words and Alex nodded.

"There is a pharmacy not far from here I'll be back in a few minutes, if the others ask say I'm on the phone with Christina okay?" for a moment she hesitated but then Spencer pulled her in for a kiss and squeezed her hand before she got up and turned to left.

"Alex? I love you." Spencer said, Alex stopped and leaned over the back of the couch and kissed him again.

"I love you too." with that she left the room.

The others in the room were so busy that they didn't take notice how Alex left or how nervous Spencer suddenly seemed to be. All but one, Garcia kept throwing glances at the genius. Of course they all knew how much Spencer wanted to be a father, a real father, and maybe his wish would finally become real and they couldn't be happier for him. She couldn't help but imagine Spencer with his child and Garcia knew that not even her imagination was able to get close to the happiness Spencer would feel.

Penelope hoped dearly that Alex was pregnant, they both deserved happiness after all they had been through in their lives. Of course Garcia wouldn't say no to another little baby for her to spoil and this would be the first "real" BAU baby. Thinking about this a smile appeared on Garcia's lips.

"What are you smiling at Penelope?" Will asked who had turned away from the four arguing Agents on the Twister field.

"Oh nothing, I'm just happy." she answered and through a last glance at Spencer who threw a nervous but somewhat excited glance over his shoulder.

When Alex came back only a few minutes later, nobody had still noticed that she had been away, she walked over to Spencer and whispered something in his ear. The young Doctor practically jumped up and nearly stumbled over his own feet trying to get to Alex as fast as possible. Garcia then watched with a smile on her face as the two of them disappeared from the room again.

Alex and Spencer went into a bathroom and Alex got the pregnancy test from her purse, looking at Spencer she swallowed.

"Spence...I...I'm not sure if I'm really pregnant-" Alex began but Spencer took her face in his hands again.

"Alex I love you, if you're pregnant or not isn't going to change my feelings for you." he said in a low voice.

"Okay." Alex took a deep breath and then proceeded to take the test, once made she washed her hands and set the test on the sink while both sat down on the bathtub rim.

"What are we going to do if I'm pregnant?" Alex asked and Spencer laid his arm around her.

"First of all you are going to get out of the field," when she raised her eyebrows at him he quickly continued. "I don't mean it like staying at Quantico I mean that you won't bring Unsubs down, of course you will still investigate with us. I- well I guess we'll see about the rest." was his answer and Alex nodded.

"I'm just...I mean are we ready for a baby? What about Kat and Ethan, I don't want them to feel like we want to replace them, especially not Kat."

"Can you ever be ready for a baby? And I don't think that's going to happen love." he murmured and Alex knew exactly, even though he tried to hide it, how nervous he was.

"Are you scared as well?" Alex asked gently and Spencer nodded a little relieved to hear those words.

"This is definitely under the top five scariest moments of my life." he said and then they just simply sat together in silence, that was until it was time to see if they were really going to be parents. Alex got up and walked over to the sink. It might have been just a few steps, but for her it felt like miles she was walking and with every inch she moved, her heart was beating faster until she looked at the piece of plastic and her heart stopped. Spencer saw her tense and swallowed a lump in his throat, even if he wanted to stand up, he was sure his legs would just give away under his weight if he tried.

"And?" he asked and his heart sank when Alex turned around with tears in her eyes.

"I'm pregnant." the moment she said those words out loud caused the tears to run over her cheeks. Spencer stared at her for a moment, his brain needed some time to understand what she had said.

"Really?" he asked and now there were already tears forming in his own eyes, Alex nodded not able to say anything, when seconds later she found herself in the tight embrace of her lover. They held onto each other for a few seconds, no words were spoken but they never felt the love for one another stronger than in this moment.

"We're going to be parents. I'm going to be a Dad!" Reid said when they parted a little and looked into the face of the love of his life, who was now also making his biggest wish come true and would be the mother of his child.

"Yeah I know."

"I love you, I love you so much." Reid said and then kissed her, a long passionate kiss.

"I love you too"

"Do you know how far along you are?" he asked and Alex had to take a deep breath to calm herself down again.

"Well if I calculated right, then I'm nearly six weeks pregnant."

"Six weeks." Spencer breathed out and couldn't believe he had been a father since over a month without even knowing. "Can we tell the others?" he added and Alex smiled at him.

"Sure, let's tell them there is finally going to be a baby Reid in a few months." she answered and kissed him again. Alex took the test and together, hand in hand they left the bathroom to returned to the others. They had only realized that the two of them were gone a few moments ago, so the whole attention was on them when they stepped inside the living room.

"What happened?" Garcia asked already worried that Spencer's dream wouldn't come true, judging the traces of tears on both of their faces. They looked at each other and smiled before Alex raised the hand holding the test.

"I'm pregnant." these news were a bombshell and the two of them looked into the more than surprised faces of their friends.

"Really?" Kat was the first one to find her voice again and looked at her parents, who nodded.

"I'm gonna be a big brother?" Ethan asked and before either of them could answer he ran over and hugged both his mom and father. Now life came back to the rest and all hell was let loose with the team and the others swarming the two to say their congratulations and Rossi was getting his best wine to celebrate.

"Oh this is so great, I'm so happy for you!" JJ said as she hugged them and while she embraced Spencer she turned her head to whisper in his ear, "You deserve to be a dad Spence." he only smiled back at her and then looked at Alex beside him, who tried to survive the hug from Garcia.

"Congratulations man, I'm happy for you, it's about time that we get a mini Reid running around." Morgan said and Reid grinned at him.

"Yeah who thought I was going to be the next to have a kid." the last to come up to them was Kat.

"Kat we-" Alex started but Kat was already faster.

"So I'm gonna be a big sister again? Well, can't say I haven't expected that." Kat said and smiled as she handed her crutches to Morgan so she could hug them both.

"I love you mom and you too dad. I can't wait for my little brother or sister to be here." she said and Alex and Spencer hugged her together and seconds later also Ethan was added to the group hug.

"I want you two to know how much we love you." Spencer said and kissed both Kat's and Ethan's cheek.

"Well I think Cruz and the others are going to be absolutely happy to hear about this." Hotch said smiling as he laid an arm around Beth and the others laughed.

"Yeah I can imagine." answered Alex as she watched how Rossi distributed some wine to everyone expect for her and the kids, he bowed a little in front of Alex and handed her a wineglass with grape juice.

"Just the best for you." he said as she accept the glass with a smile, before he raised his glass, as did the others. "To the most wonderful news of this evening and another member of the family, congratulations you two." they clinked glasses and nipped at their drinks. Spencer's hand then laid on her abdomen and the brightest smile one had ever seen on his face, even widened.

"I love you, you and our children." he whispered in her ear and Alex leaned against him.

"We love you too."

* * *

Three weeks later Alex was woken by a soft shaking and the voice of Spencer. "Alex, Alex you have to wake up." when she opened her eyes she looked at the smiling face of her lover, "Good morning sleepyhead." Spencer said and kissed her while Alex was slightly confused.

"What?"

"It's a quarter to eight Honey." more than surprised by his words, Alex jumped out of bed, which turned out to be a huge mistake only seconds later when morning sickness kicked in. Before she could say something she was making her way to the toilette and emptied the contents of her stomach. Almost immediately she felt a hand rubbing her back in smooth circles and holding her hair back. When there was nothing left to throw up Alex flushed and sunk down on the bathroom floor.

"Do you feel a little bit better?" Spence asked as he handed her a cup of water and she laid her head on his shoulder, still feeling a bit dizzy.

"As good as I can…I hate morning sickness." she murmured as she accepted the water and stood up to wash her mouth.

"I'll fix you some breakfast honey." Spencer said and kissed her cheek before he went downstairs. There while Alex undressed and then looked at her body in the mirror. She was still more than amazed to be pregnant again and even more amazed that she was already showing at nearly ten weeks, not only a little bulge but a noticeably bump, Alex had already problems buttoning her pants! She turned around and stroked lovingly over her abdomen, in this moment it didn't matter to her anymore if she was nauseous most of the day, that her breasts were sore, she was constantly tired and that she was so moody! It was all worth it for their little baby.

Alex could already feel the tears sting in her eyes again and she wiped them away, "What are you doing to me? You make me cry so much, but mostly happy tears baby, I love you so so much." she mumbled and then took a shower. When she was finished and dried her hair she walked back into the bedroom and got dressed, everything was fine until she tried to close her jeans.

"Oh please no…" Alex mumbled and then tried every angle possibly only to give up minutes later. Because she was still not downstairs, Spencer came back and found his love sitting on the bed crying.

"Honey what's wrong?" he asked, slightly worried that she wasn't alright.

"I don't fit into my pants anymore," Alex cried and wiped her tears away again, "And I don't know why I'm crying and I swear if you laugh at me I'm going to be so mad at you!" Reid indeed had to bite his tongue to stop himself from laughing.

"I love you Alex, you can cry as much as you want or annoy the hell out of me I still love you, yeah? Wait a second." he said and then walked over to his side of the bed and pulled out a box from under it.

"As I have noticed that you have some difficulties to close your pants lately, I allowed myself to get you your pants with an elastic waistband and your maternity clothes." Spencer said and handed her a jeans with a sewn in elastic waistband.

"Oh my...I love you Spence, damn it you make me cry again." Alex answered and pulled him in for another kiss.

"I love you too." A few minutes later Alex was finally dressed and they were on their way down.

"You know that I can't believe I nearly overslept? I haven't overslept, not even nearly, in like twenty years." Alex wondered out loud as they walked into the kitchen. "Is Ethan already gone?" she then asked and Spencer nodded.

"Yes, Andy took the boys to school before I went upstairs to wake you up." was his answer as he placed a mug of ginger tea and a bowel of porridge in front of her, knowing this was the only thing she could keep down, and which she took from him thankfully.

"Thank you Love."

"No problem Allie, everything I can do to help." he said as he kissed her cheek and laid his hand on her stomach.

"Don't you want to eat something too?" Alex asked after a while.

"I ate together with Ethan," he answered while he pulled her shirt over her stomach to expose the her bump and fulfill his daily ritual, "Good morning little one, or should I say big one? You're growing so fast, your about as big as a grape now. We love you very much even though you make your mama feel miserable half of the day, but that's the fault of hormones like hCG and estrogen and not yours. We love you and all our aunts and uncles love you too." Spencer said to her bump and then placed a loving kiss right under her belly button.

"Speaking of, I think I'll get ready or we won't make it in time."

"But you haven't eaten much yet." Spencer said and sounded a little reproachful which caused Alex to suppress the urge to roll her eyes.

"I know but the damn morning sickness is at full force today and I don't think I'll make it through the morning without puking again when I eat more. But I promise you I'll try to eat something at work." he stood up again to kiss her and then smiled.

"Then let's go." Alex went up to brush her teeth, just when she was about to go downstairs again Kat's bedroom door opened and her daughter walked out of her room with her crutches.

"Morning Mom." Kat yawned and Alex kissed her cheek.

"Good morning and goodbye sweetie, Dad and I'll go to work, if you need anything call us or Christina okay?" Alex told Kat as she went downstairs.

"'Kay mom, love you!" Kat called after her mother with her voice still full of sleep.

"We love you too Kat!" Spencer called up to her as they left, one could tell how excited he was and Alex couldn't deny she was as excited as him. This was their baby growing in her, she hadn't thought she would ever fall in love again after James and certainly not that she was having another child. But now she had Spencer by her side and they were going to have a baby, their love for each other manifested in a human being.

_Flashback_

" _Hello Alex, congratulations, I'm happy to see you again." Dr. Zimmerman said when she walked inside and shook hands with Alex. "Am I right to assume you're the father?" she asked looking at Spencer who grinned and nodded._

_"Yes I am, Spencer Reid."_

" _Well then, congratulations to you too. Then I'd say on to business, you already know the drill Alex and if you have any questions Mr. Reid then don't hesitate to ask." They talked they way trough her medical history and everything and after nearly half an hour they were almost finished._

" _Okay last question before we finally do the ultrasound. You know that at forty years old your risk for a baby with a chromosome abnormality is higher, but nothing more than that, I saw thousands of women have healthy babies at your age, but I have to tell you. I can also offer you a NIPT, short for noninvasive prenatal testing, a blood test that can detect chromosomal abnormalities like Down Syndrome, do you want that test?"_

_Alex and Spencer looked at each other, of course they had talked about it but luckily they shared the same opinion._

" _No thank you...we decided that we don't want to know." Alex answered and Doctor Zimmerman nodded._

" _Okay, then let's see if we can get a good view at the little one!" Alex stood and walked over to the examination bed and laid down pulling her shirt up and her jeans down a little._

" _This could be a little cold, but you already know that." she said before she put some of the gel on Alex's abdomen after said had given her a nod._

" _So are you ready?" Alex looked at Spencer who leaned down to give her a short kiss and then squeeze her hand gently._

" _Yes." the brunette said and then Dr. Zimmerman put the probe on her bump. She didn't have to search long before she found their baby._

" _And here we have your child." she said and both stared at the monitor and at their little baby._

" _Wow..." Spencer breathed out and couldn't tear his eyes away from the screen as well as Alex, who was already crying again, but this time she couldn't care less about the tears._

" _You see here's the head and here is an arm and the feet are down there. Wait a moment...yes here's the heart beat." as soon as the sound of the beating heart of their baby filled the room Spencer couldn't hold the tears back too. When Alex squeezed his hand he looked down and smiled at her._

" _That's our baby, our baby...I love you." he leaned down and laid his lips on hers. After they parted Alex threw another glance on the monitor before she agreed with Spencer._

" _Yeah our baby." Dr. Zimmerman smiled at them._

" _Everything look's wonderful, you want some pictures?"_

" _Yes please," Reid said quickly and grinned the woman who then handed Alex a paper towel to wipe the gel of her stomach._

_End Flashback_

"Alex?" Spencer's voice pulled her out of her thoughts when they had arrived at the BAU.

"Huh? I'm sorry, I was thinking."

"Yeah I noticed that and you were nearly sleeping again." answered Spencer and Alex rolled her eyes but couldn't keep the smile off her face.

"Come on let's go." was all she said and the two got out of the car. Hand in hand they walked inside and up to the elevators, they had been surprised how many had actually taken notice of their relationship and even more surprised how positive the attention had been. There was only one person who wasn't pleased by their relationship, her name was Sarah and she was an Agent who was in love with Spencer and not happy that they were together and about to have a child. But both couldn't care less about her.

As they got off the elevator and inside the bullpen they were greeted by JJ. "Good morning you three, how are we today?" asked JJ and send the couple a smile.

"Two words: Morning sickness." was Alex's answer as she sat down and JJ sighed in sympathy.

"Oh yeah, what wonderful times," JJ answered sarcastically and Alex nodded before stretching, which caused her shirt to slide up and reveal her waistband, JJ then tilted her head to her side and watched her friend closely, "Is this a jeans with an elastic waistband?" she asked trying to hide her amusement. Alex pouted and pushed her shirt down before she answered.

"Yes." she grumbled and JJ giggled.

"I'm sorry, but I think it's kinda cute." Alex smiled and stroked over her belly.

"Yeah, I don't want to complain about it, it's not as bad as expected."

"You were crying because you couldn't wear your normal jeans anymore." Spencer said from his desk and regretted his words seconds later when Alex glared at him.

"Thanks for telling." she said coldly before she turned away and Spencer looked at JJ who had a hard time to keep herself from laughing so she wouldn't incur the anger of her pregnant colleague.

Then Hotch stepped out of his office at the same time as Morgan and Garcia appeared in the doorway to the bullpen. "We have a case!" the three of them got up and walked up the round table together, with Alex ignoring Reid, which caused Garcia and Morgan to send JJ a confused look.

"Hormones." JJ mouthed at them and both smiled though Garcia was quickly at Alex's side and interviewing her about her morning. When they were all seated at the round table Hotch waited for Garcia to end her rambling about socks she was knitting for the baby before he continued.

"Garcia, you can start." he said and the technical analyst nodded and proceeded to present the facts about the case.

"We have five victims in Harrisburg Pennsylvania, Laura Haase, Jessica Malcom, Andrea Muller, Rebecca Fredricks and Lisa-Marie Smith all were blonde, in their early to mid forties and single. Another similarity is that they are all successful in their jobs and total workaholics." Garcia said as she clicked through the pictures of the women.

"Two months ago Laura Haase was abducted from her apartment, the Unsub tortured and raped her in her own living room and two days later her body as found on a park bench. The exact same happened to everyone of them, now it gets even more creepier, the stab wounds on every victim are at the exact same position and nearly all have the same depth. It's like he uses a ruler." Garcia explained.

"He is a sexual sadist and by the similarities of the women I'd say they are surrogates for an important female character in his life." Reid said without looking up from the file he was studying.

"You're right, Garcia, were they all found in the same park?" Rossi asked.

"Yeah it was the same and the dumpsite of all of them were in some strange order, if you connect the dumpsites on a map, you...get a star." Garcia answered with a look on her face as she was never going to look at stars the same way.

"What's significantly is that he speeds up, between Andrea Muller and Rebecca Fredricks was only one week and between her and Lisa-Marie Smith were only four days. Wheels up in thirty." Hotch said and they gathered their things.

"Take care my lovelies, especially you mommabear!" Alex smiled and hugged her friend.

"Will do, thank you Garcia." she said before they left the room. She didn't make it far before a hand found hers and she intertwined her fingers with Spencer's.

"Are you still mad at me?" he asked and Alex stopped by his desk.

"Hmm, no, not if you give me a kiss." she mumbled and Spencer smiled at her.

"Nothing easier than that," with that he brushed his lips against hers in a loving kiss, "I love you." he murmured against her lips and Alex couldn't help but smile into the kiss.

"I love you too and I'm sorry if I was mean to you, it's not your fault after all." Spencer didn't answer immediately but laid his hands on her stomach and gently stroked over it.

"Your are never mean to me Honey, I know it's not easy for you, so you can let everything out on me." Reid said honestly and Alex pulled him down for another kiss.

"You are the best Spencer." they then got their to go bags and left the BAU, but even the ride to the airport was enough to make Alex tired yet again, so she was quit relieved to see they had the yet with the sofa today and immediately claimed it when they boarded the plane.

"If you don't mind I'll nap a bit, just wake me up for the briefing okay?" she said to Spencer, JJ and Hotch who were also already there.

"I'll wake you." Spence said and to their amusement Alex was fast asleep before Rossi and Morgan even boarded the yet. Spencer got a blanket and laid it over his sleeping girlfriend before he sat down on the sofa as well and placed her feet in his lap so she had enough space.

For the second time this day Alex was woken by her lovers voice and gentle shaking. "Alex? Honey wake up we landed." he said and in an instant Alex was wide awake.

"What? Why didn't you wake me up for the briefing?" she asked quite embarrassed and put the blanket aside to sit up.

"Love even if I wanted to I don't think we could have done anything to wake you up," Spencer explained while JJ giggled a bit behind him, "You slept through the take off, the briefing where Rossi stubbed his little toe and cursed like a sailor and a the landing." he said and Alex blushed a little.

"I'm so sorry, I only wanted to take a small nap!"

"No problem Alex, really don't worry about it. But I allowed myself to pair up with you, we'll visit Lisa-Marie Smith's house." JJ told her and Alex nodded before she quickly put on her shoes.

"Sure let's go."

When they were driving to the latest victims house JJ threw a glance at Alex. "How are you beside the morning sickness and tiredness?" the blonde asked.

"Fine, but you forgot the mood swings, really I'm so sorry, I haven't been this way with either Kat or Ethan. But that's not comparable, with James...I had to hide a lot of my mood swings and everything else. We had one of our worst fights while I was pregnant with Ethan," Alex said and rubbed her belly. "But Spencer...he is so excited, he already read every single book on pregnancies and babies I own and he is so happy. He talks to the baby every morning and when he does, he...there is this happiness in his eyes and it makes everything so worth it." JJ smiled at her.

"I know, it's so great to see his biggest wish finally become true and having you, Kat, Ethan and now the baby. He would have been happy to be the father of Kat and Ethan, he loves them like this baby, but this is his child. We're really happy for both of you."

"Yeah...me too." Alex said.

When they arrived at the house they couldn't help but be impressed, this wasn't a house it was a mansion. "Again I think we choose the wrong job." JJ mumbled as they got out of the car.

"Well I'd rather have my children, friends and Spencer than much money and such a mansion." Alex answered honestly.

"You're right but with husband, children and friends this wouldn't be bad." Alex chuckled.

"Okay then I wouldn't say no." they stepped inside and looked around.

"Lisa-Marie was upstairs when she was taken as she put on quite the fight but he over powered her and dragged her downstairs to rape her on her couch." JJ said.

"I'll go upstairs and see if I find anything." Alex said and JJ nodded. While she went upstairs a bad feeling rose inside her, she didn't know what it was, but something wasn't right here. Alex walked past the first door when she saw something out of the corner of her eyes. Before she could react string arms wrapped around her body and neck and tried to pull her into the room.

"No, JJ!" the stifled cry was all that escaped her mouth and she heard JJ call her name but she was concentrated on getting free. Alex struggled and then kicked the man in the shin and ram her elbow into his side. He threw her to the side and finally let go of her, but Alex noticed to late that she was in danger, as she struggled to stay on her feet she took a step back, but the stairs already began and Alex stepped into air. For a second she tried to get a hold of anything but it was already too late and Alex was falling.

The only thing in her mind was to protect her baby, she ducked and wrapped around her body, then she hit the stairs and pain shot through her body. Alex didn't know where up and down or left and right was, there was only pain as nearly every inch of her body was slammed against the stairs and then everything was over as her head hit the stairs hard and caused her to lose her consciousness.

"Alex!" JJ yelled but then looked up the stairs and saw the man without hesitating she shot and hit her target, when she was sure he wouldn't get up again, she knelt down next to Alex and got out of her blazer and pressed the folded fabric on the gash on her friends forehead, then she quickly called the ambulance.

JJ stayed by her side until the ambulance arrived, the paramedics told her it wasn't that bad, but a feeling inside her told JJ that something terrible had happened. The paramedics laid Alex on the gurney and rolled her to the ambulance while JJ proceeded to call Spencer and the others.

"Hey JJ what's up?" Spencer said as he answered the call and as JJ saw the last glimpse of Alex's pale features she didn't fight the tears stinging in her eyes.

"Spencer...something happened…"

* * *

As Spencer sprinted down the halls of the hospital followed by Morgan he only had one thing on his mind, Alex and their baby. Were they alright? What if one of them was hurt or worse both? He would never forgive himself if anything happened to them. They ran around the last corner and saw the rest of their team.

"What happened? How's Alex- did they-?" he asked breathless and JJ stood up and hugged him.

"I'm so sorry Spencer, I should have went upstairs with her." said JJ and Spencer looked at his friend.

"How?"

"The Unsub came back, we don't know why, we must have disturbed him. Alex went upstairs to search in the bedroom and then I hear her scream and some struggling before I was in the hall I already heard Alex fall down the stairs," JJ explained. "She was unconscious when I reached her." Spencer sunk down at one of the chairs and felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Is he dead?" he asked in a low voice and didn't look at anyone. JJ hesitated to answer but after a moment she cleared her throat.

"Yes, he's dead."

"Good." before anyone could say anything a doctor arrived.

"Spencer Reid?" he asked and Spencer jumped up and hurried over to the young man.

"Yes that's me, please how is she doing?" he asked and nobody moved when the doctor hesitated to answer.

"Mr. Reid, please walk with me for a moment." Together they walked a few meters away before they paused again. "She will make a full recovery, she just has some bruises and a light concussion." Spencer let go a sigh of relief.

"Oh thank god!" he said but when he looked at the doctor he frowned again. "What?"

"Mr. Reid...I'm sorry to tell you that your girlfriend lost your child, not because of the fall but...the fetus must have stopped developing some time ago."

"What?" Reid breathed out and prayed he had only misheard what he had said. "No...please no." it couldn't be not their baby, not their baby. Their baby couldn't be dead, this all had to be a nightmare he begged that this was only a nightmare. He didn't even fight or noticed the tears rolling down his cheeks, he shoved the hand of the doctor away and with a scream he fell to his knees crying. Their baby was gone and Spencer felt like the ground had been pull out from under his feet and he was falling.

The others didn't have to ask to know what had happened and not one of them knew what to do as they watched Reid fall to his knees, a scream of agony leaving his lips over the loss of his child. JJ pressed her hands on her mouth to stop her own sobbing and Morgan laid an arm around her, while Rossi sunk down on one of the chairs. Only Hotch moved over to Reid and laid a hand on his friends shoulder.

"I-I need to see her." Spencer sobbed and Hotch helped him stand up while the doctor nodded.

"Follow me." he said and led them to the room Alex was in. Spence took a deep breath before he entered the room, the others waited in front of it.

When he stepped inside the first thing he heard was the art breaking sobbing of Alex and it bought new tears to his eyes and a nearly unbearable pain spread through his body as he saw her curled up on the bed. He walked over and when he wanted to touch her, Alex flinched away.

"No! Don't, leave me alone!" she sobbed and tried to push his hands away crying.

"Alex..."

"Go away! Leave me alone!"

"No, Alex."

"Please go, please go away!" Alex yelled still crying but Spencer didn't move, he also didn't move when she started to actually hit him. Spencer then grabbed her hands and then wrapped his arms around her body, Alex fought him for a second but then also wrapped her arms around his body and clung to him like her life depended on him.

"I'm sorry, please it's all my fault...I'm so sorry, forgive me Spencer please." Alex cried and they both laid in each others arms crying over the death of their baby.

"There is nothing to forgive Allie...it wasn't your fault none of it. I love you."

"How can you love me, I lost our baby...it's my fault our baby is dead..." Spencer laid down next to her and pulled her as close against her and Alex cried into his chest while he stroked over her back and pressed a long kiss to her hair while he tried to hold back his own sobs.

"No, it's not your fault, you hear? It wasn't your fault and I will never stop loving you Alex, no matter. I love you." Spencer said and then they were quiet, the only sound in the room was their crying and only two hearts were beating.

* * *

**I'm so, so sorry! Please don't hate me for doing this! I hope I can make it up to you one day.**

**Still thank you for everyone who reviewed the last chapter your great!**

**I know it's also quite long, but I couldn't bring myself to get your hopes up for a baby even more and then destroy them the next chapter.**

**And I hope I get a few reviews for this chapter too, even though I did this horrible thing.**


	19. Hope

Hope

It has never been this quiet on the jet. Even when they were on their way home after a bad case, or if most of them were asleep, one could hear the soft music from Morgans headphones, the scratching on paper from Hotch's pen while he was working on some files, or JJ's quiet whispering when she was on the phone talking to Will or Henry. But now there was nothing. There was no music, no working and no talking, the shock and grief was still heavy among them, nobody knew what to say or do to their friends who sat on the sofa.

Alex was curled up next to Spencer with her head against his chest and Spencer had one arm wrapped around her, the two hadn't spoken a word since they left the hospital and the others didn't try to talk to them. What were they supposed to say to their friends who just lost their unborn child whom they had loved so much.

JJ was nearly as grief sickened as her two friends, knowing what they, especially Alex, felt right now. But even she couldn't imagine what it was like for Alex to still carry their dead child inside of her. JJ had found out about her own pregnancy by accident and hadn't been more than five weeks along when she had lost it and had only been told about it by the doctor, but she had been devastated. She had also called Garcia to give her heads up that they were coming home already and that Alex had lost the baby. Penelope had been also shocked to hear about this and had asked a hundred times if she could do anything, but JJ had negated her questions knowing nothing would help Alex and Spencer.

As the blonde was the only one who sat so that she was facing them, she was also the only one who saw how Alex slid away from Spencer once he had fallen asleep. Her friend curled up on the far end of the sofa and buried her face in her hands, JJ first thought that she should leave her alone, but when she saw how Alex's shoulders started to shake, she found herself unable to just sit around and watch. With that she stood and quietly moved over and carefully, not to startle her friend, sat down next to Alex and gently lay her hand on the shoulder of the crying woman.

Alex still flinched, surprised by the unsuspected touch and looked up to meet the sad expression of JJ. "I'm sorry I-" but JJ interrupted her.

"Don't Alex, you don't have to apologize for anything." JJ murmured and took her friends hand in her own, stroking over Alex's knuckles with her thump.

"I had a miscarriage two years ago, I was in Afghanistan while working for the Pentagon and our convoy was being attacked and an explosion went off leading to the miscarriage..." JJ whispered and Alex gently squeezed her hand whom she had held only loosely before.

"I'm sorry JJ." she answered and JJ nodded slowly.

"Me too Alex, I'm so sorry you had to go through this too, I don't want to say anybody deserves to lose their child, but especially not you two." Alex's eyes began to water again and she closed them while her free hand grabbed her shirt over her abdomen and JJ laid her other hand on the one of Alex.

"You of all people did not deserve this and nothing that has happened was your fault." at her words Alex's shoulders began to shake harder.

"You're wrong...it is my fault, it was an accident when you lost your baby...but it has been my own body who took our baby away from us, it's my fault that Spencer won't be a father," Alex sobbed and curled further together. "And our baby is still inside of me...I want it gone JJ, but at the same time I don't want to let go, it's our baby...our baby." while fighting her own tears JJ made Alex sit up and wrapped her arms around her friend in a tight embrace. She held her friend until she had calmed down a little.

"Alex it is not your fault...please don't blame yourself over things you can't control. I won't believe that this is going to change Spencer's feelings for you, yes he is sad, but he would never blame you for what happened Alex."

"I don't even know what we are supposed to tell Kat and Ethan..." Alex mumbled, trying to get away from answering to what JJ had said.

"The truth, adjusted to their ages, I don't think Ethan needs to know more than is good for him." Alex nodded and took a deep shaking breath. Suddenly Spencer rose up from his sleep breathing heavily the name of his lover leaving his lips as a stifled cry. Despite what she had said moments earlier, Alex quickly moved so she was next to him and took his hand.

"I'm here," she said and Spencer gently pulled her closer and laid his forehead against hers, JJ noticed how his hand wandered to her bump but Alex stopped his hand before he could touch her and sad realization covered his face. JJ also realized that he must have thought that it was only a nightmare that they had lost their child until Alex had stopped his hand. In this moment the pilot told them they would land now and with a final glance to the two of them JJ went back to her seat.

When they had landed and got off the plane, Hotch mentioned to both Alex and Reid to stay behind.

"I just wanted to say that you don't have to return to the BAU, go home and take tomorrow off too okay?" their boss said in a rare gentle voice and the couple nodded.

"Thank you Hotch."

"And if you need anything don't hesitate to call okay?"

"We will...thanks again." Spencer answered while Alex stayed quiet and then the two of them walked away from the rest and to their car. For a while they were quiet, then Spencer spoke up.

"What are we going to tell Kat and Ethan?" he asked throwing a quick glance at her before concentrating on the road again. Alex took a deep breath and pressed her hands to her face for a second before running them through her hair.

"The truth, how exactly we are going to do this? I don't know." she answered truthfully and stared at her hands. "I'll go to Doctor Zimmerman tomorrow." Alex said after another long moment of silence between them.

"Can I-...do you want me to come with you?" Spencer asked hesitantly and Alex swallowed a lump in her throat, she wanted to say no, she really did, because she couldn't stand the guilt she was feeling, because she couldn't possibly talk to her doctor how she was going to miscarry their child with him by her side. Knowing she had made his dream come true only to destroy it in what felt like seconds later. But how could she deny him to come along? It had been his baby too and he was grieving as much as she was and there was another important fact, she couldn't do this without him.

"Yes." she breathed out and for a moment his right hand made the slightest of movements in her direction, before tightening his grip on the steering wheel again, like he wanted to touch her but decided against it in the last moment.

When they reached their home, they slowly got out of the car and walked up to the front door, it felt terrible to do so knowing they would have to tell Kat and Ethan that they wouldn't have another sibling, that their little brother or sister had died.

"Mom, Dad? How come you are already- home...what happened?" Kat had noticed something was wrong as soon as she saw her parents, the look of deep sadness on their faces and the band aid on her mothers forehead.

"Where is your brother?" Alex asked in a tearful voice and for a moment Kat only stared at her mother fearful of what they were going to hear.

"In his room," Kat answered and wanted to add something but Spencer was faster.

"I'll get him." he said and walked up the stairs while Kat walked over to her mother.

"Mom what…?" the teenager didn't seem to know what she should say as she hadn't seen her mother this upset since she had woken up in the hospital after being abducted. But in this moment Spencer and Ethan came down the stairs.

"What's going on?" Ethan asked confused and Alex mentioned for them to follow her to the living room and to the sofa. After they sat down she looked one more time at Spencer before she took a deep breath.

"When I was at the crime scene today...I fell down the stairs and because I hit my head JJ had to call the ambulance," she paused and had to swallow the lump in her throat and blink the tears away that were already stinging in her eyes. "The doctor examined me and...found out that-that the baby died..." her voice gave away and even though she tried so hard, Alex couldn't fight the tears.

"No...oh mom!" Kat felt the tears well in her own eyes as she saw the pain on her mothers face and wrapped her arms around her to hug her close. Now it was her who was comforted her mother and not the other way around. Ethan looked at his father sad but also confused.

"I'm not going to be a big brother?" he asked and glanced at his crying mother and tears also shone in his fathers eyes. Reid pulled him on his lap and kissed his cheek.

"No Ethan...the baby is in heaven now." he said and Ethan nodded saddened about the death of his little sibling. Spencer watched over his son's head hoe Alex parted from Kat and how the girl wiped the tears on her mothers face away.

Then Kat got up and left the living room only to return seconds later, putting down a candle on the coffee table with a small plate underneath and then sat back down next to her mother before she lit the candle and then laid an arm around her mother. Ethan went to sit on his mothers lap who wrapped her arms around him before kissing his cheek and Spencer also shifted closer. To his surprise Alex rested her head against his shoulder while they all stared at the burning flame in front of them. Nobody said a word as they all quietly mourned the loss of their family member.

Hours later Spencer laid in bed waiting for Alex staring at the ceiling of the room, they hadn't spoken to each other for hours and he hoped maybe he could talk to her when they were on their own.

But even after another half an hour Alex was still in the bathroom, so Reid decided to get up again and check up on her but as he pushed the doorhandle down, he noticed that she had locked the door. She had never locked the door before, not once.

"Alex?...Alex please open the door." Spencer said softly, still loud enough to be heard on the other side of the door, but he got no answer and the door remained locked. "Please answer me Alex..." he waited another moment but his words were met by silence, lying his forehead against the door he tried once more.

"Just tell me if you are okay...Alex please...I beg you Alex...please answer me?...Alex?"

Nothing. Giving up Spencer walked back to the bed and sank down, with his face in his hands he sat their in darkness and silence until his shoulders began to shake from the quiet sobbing as tears ran over his face.

Inside the bathroom Alex was kneeling in the running shower, her wet hair framing her face as she pressed her hands to her mouth to prevent any sound from escaping her throat while also squeezing her eyes shut. She was rocking herself back and forth as her tears mixed with the water of the shower and ran down her naked body only to mingle with the bloody water that was running to and down the drain from between her legs.

* * *

_When Dr. Marie Zimmerman's eyes laid on the name of her next patient on her appointment book she felt a short sting of sadness to her heart, like she always felt when she had patients who lost their child. No matter how often she had done this, it was never getting any easier and she knew if it would ever become easy it was time for her to go._

_As Alex Blake and Spencer Reid walked through the doors, after she had told one of the nurses to get them, she also noticed again that, even though every woman, every family and every pregnancy was different, there was one thing they had in common. When they lost a baby, the sadness, grief, guilt and pain was always there, simple words that could have the same effect as a natural catastrophe and rip whole families apart._

_As they sat down in front of her desk she took notice of how Alex didn't pull the chair closer to her partner like she had done on their previous appointments, they were not holding hands either and also Mr. Reid wasn't making any moves to get closer to her. She had a feeling that even though there wasn't more than half a meter between them, that they were as far apart as two people could possibly be._

" _First of all I want to say how sorry I am that you have to go through this. I know this is no comfort for you but you are not alone and what happened is nobody's fault...these terrible things happen and sometimes nobody, not even the most advanced science, can explain why, sometimes there is no why. Don't blame yourself, neither of you, cause in cases like these there is nothing you could have done to change what happened. I know nothing I say will make the pain go away, but maybe it can help to not give up each other."_

_There were silent tears rolling down Alex's cheeks after she had finished speaking and Dr. Zimmerman was afraid the knuckles of Mr. Reid would break through the skin of his hands as he clenched his fists so tight._

" _Did you already have symptoms of miscarrying?" she then asked and Alex had to clear her throat before answering._

" _Yes...I was bleeding and cramping in the night." Alex said in a hoarse voice but Dr. Zimmerman's eyes were on Reid as he had turned his head towards Alex so fast she was sure she had heard his cervical vertebra scream in protest. Obviously he hadn't known about this as he stared at his loved one in shock._

" _I'm sorry but I have to ask, did you see any fetal tissue?" Alex closed her eyes for a moment before shaking her head._

" _Okay...I'll have to see if and how much tissue is left in your womb...would you please?" Dr. Zimmerman nodded over to the examination bed and Alex nodded while getting up. Reid followed her lead, he stood beside her as she laid down but made no move to hold her hand. After the procedure was over Dr. Zimmerman looked at them both._

" _Well there is no tissue left..." They nodded but she saw how Alex visibly paled and she was afraid her patient was going to fall unconscious. "I can't tell you how long you will be having pregnancy symptoms, it can be only a few days or even weeks, that really depends, but if they won't go away don't hesitate to call. And if you need anything or have questions please call too okay?"_

" _We will." to her own surprise it was him who answered and Alex nodded again. They said their goodbyes and Dr. Zimmerman watched them leave. Not expecting to see either of them again for a long time._

That was until her door suddenly opened three weeks later while she was about to head home after a long day when Spencer Reid stepped inside her office.

"Dr. Zimmerman! I tried to stop him but-" her nurse said shocked and tried to pull him out of her office but she quickly stepped in.

"It's okay Angela, please close the door." Angela blinked surprised but did as she was told leaving the two of them alone. "Have a seat."

"Thanks...I'm sorry for showing up like this." he said as he sat down his dark coat was glistening with tiny water droplets and here and there were still some snowflakes stuck to the fabric and his hair from the first snow this year.

"It's okay...what can I do for you?" she asked regarding the fact that he looked miserable she knew it wasn't good.

"We-...I need help," he began and looked at her with pleading eyes. "Alex...I don't know what to do anymore, she is isolating herself from everyone, she won't talk to me or anybody, she is just functioning at work and at home and she hasn't cried in front of me in weeks she...I want to help her, I really do but I don't know how. I have an eidetic memory, an IQ of 187 and I can read 20,000 words per minute but I can't help the woman I love!" he said and there was such desperation in his voice she hadn't heard in a long time.

"Mr. Reid I know how hard this has to be for you, I don't want to say that you don't have the right to grief, God forbid, it was your child too, but please try to understand what is going on with your partner. It was her who carried your child, her body and mind changed to adapt to grow a human inside her and suddenly everything is over." Dr. Zimmerman started and sat up in her chair.

"But her body and mind didn't realize this for quite some time, you have to understand that she was carrying around your dead baby for two weeks before you knew of it's death. She is blaming herself on everything, she is blaming herself that she didn't notice something wasn't alright, she thinks as a mother she had to know something was not right, a good mother notice something isn't right with her children doesn't she? She is blaming herself that it was her fault, that she as done something wrong that caused the miscarriage." pausing for a moment she took in his pained expression.

"And to add to that guilt she is already feeling comes that her body doesn't adapt to the miscarriage as fast as she would like to, your baby is gone but she continued to look pregnant for some time, she is still getting stares on her belly and maybe people even asked her how far along she is. Then her hormones still run wild, making her feel like she is still pregnant. Above it all she has to deal with the grief of losing a child while already being a mother and working. Maybe she just can't talk about what happened maybe she just needs somebody to hold her and let her break down."

"But that's what I'm trying to do! But every time I get even near her she'll push me away! Hell I didn't even hold her hand in over a week...I-I know she is telling herself I blame her for what happened but I don't, I really don't! I told her a million times but she won't listen! I thought he were going through this together but now we are all on our own."

"I suggest you go try to talk to her once more...and if this does not help than," Dr. Zimmerman searched through her drawers until she found what she was looking for. "That's a therapist, she is specialized on people who lost their children, no matter if by miscarriage or when their born and older." she handed him the card and Spencer nodded.

"Thank you..." he said as he got up and she send him a small smile.

"You don't need to thank me...I believe you will get through this, I really do."

* * *

When Spencer came home after leaving the office of Dr. Zimmerman he saw that Ethan was at Andy and Christina's he was really glad to have them as they had supported Alex and him as much as they could. In the last days Ethan was more often with them as at home, even Kat was spending most of her time at her best friends house, not knowing how to deal with the grief of her parents anymore. He found Alex in the Kitchen cleaning the dishes from dinner.

"I'm home...are Kat and Ethan with Christina and Andy?" he asked and Alex nodded.

"Yes." Good he didn't want them to be in the house for this.

"Alex we need to talk." he began and watched how she tensed.

"About what?" she asked with her back still turned towards him.

"About what? About everything Alex, about- would you please look at me at least?" Spencer said as he stepped closer to her and Alex turned around, facing him, but she wouldn't look at him.

"I'm listening."

Growing frustrated he took a deep breath, "I don't want you to just listen Alex, I want you to talk to me! I mean look at us, we barely spoke more than a few sentences in the last weeks, you sleep turned away from me and you push me away when I only get near you, I get it you-"

"No you don't!"

"What?"

"You don't get it Spencer! You don't get it, because it wasn't you carrying that baby! It wasn't you who miscarried that baby too! You didn't get the stares from everybody or questions about your pregnancy and the baby, your body isn't changing back after miscarrying your baby and you don't get the pathetic stares! I had to go through that, I sat in the shower bleeding!" Alex said raising her voice.

"It was my baby too!" Spencer screamed at her "I am also grieving you know, I told you a million times none of it was your fault and I thought we would get through this together, as a family but you wouldn't let me! You haven't been the only one who was alone and you didn't even tell me you were miscarrying Alex!" he yelled at her and both were crying again, then Alex tried to walk away but Spencer stopped her.

"No you won't run away from this or me again, not this time." he said as he held her by her shoulders. "I try to be strong for you, I try to be there for you, but you won't let me Alex! Tell me what to do please, because I don't know what to do anymore...I want to help you." then his voice softened again. "I would have been with you every second, I would have held you in my arms...you don't have to go through this alone Alex. I still love you, I will always love you."

They looked at each other for a moment and then Alex stepped closer to him and wrapped her arms around his body, Spencer immediately embraced her too and so they stood in silence until their tears were dry.

"I love you Spencer...I'm so sorry about how I acted towards you."

"You don't have to apologize to me...just don't push me away anymore...please, it's killing me to see you this way and not being able to help you." he said and kissed her cheek.

"I won't, I promise Spence." they looked at each other and then Spencer carefully leaned down to lay his lips on hers, he half expected Alex to stop him, but she didn't, instead she rose slightly to meet him and for the first time in weeks they kissed. It was impossible how much he had missed this, her perfect lips on his own and Spencer pulled her even closer to him while Alex responded the same way.

Before they realized how the two of them stood in their bedroom still kissing. His hands had found their way under her shirt and caressed her smooth skin while his lips moved to her neck and a moan was escaping her throat. Alex's hands ran over Spencer's chest and he began to pull her shirt over her head but stopped himself.

"Alex if you don't want to-" but Alex already pulled her shirt over her head and pulled him down to kiss him again, then she started to slowly unbutton his shirt. Spencer let his hands wander over Alex's body and then opened her pants which slid to the ground at the same time as his shirt. They continued to slowly undress each other and as Alex wrapped her arms around her she seemed to be slightly embarrassed.

Spencer took her face in her hands and made her look at him, "You are so beautiful Alex..." he whispered and then kissed her again while walking them both towards the bed and lay his lover gently on the covers.

"I love you." Alex murmured and Spencer kissed her again before he smiled at her.

"I love you too."

* * *

For the first time since they had lost the baby, they hadn't slept turned away from each other. Alex had laid her head on his chest and he had wrapped one arm around her and his hand stroked the small of her back. It had also been a while since they had slept with each other and maybe it had never been like this, but it had been wonderful for both of them, they hadn't slept with each other to satisfy some lust, but because of the love they felt for each other.

Spence knew he could never love someone like he loved her, it was impossible. Yes, they weren't perfect but who was?

"Alex?" he whispered into the dark room that was only partly illuminated by the moon.

"Mmm?" Alex moaned in response.

"Will you marry me?" for a moment there was no reaction from her but then she looked up at him and Spencer saw her surprised face.

"What?"

"Will you marry me?" he asked again and she realized he was dead serious, she looked him deep in the eyes.

"Yes."

* * *

**First: Happy New Year everyone!**

**Do you accept my apology? I know what I did last chapter was wrong, but it had to be this way. I planned to let you wait for the next chapter for Alex's answer, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it so I hope you are happy. :)**

**Please tell me your opinion in a review. Also a big thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, you're amazing thank you!**

**I also hope you all had a wonderful Christmas time :)**


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